For 5 minutes, you have the entire world's attention

[Hamburger_Time]

Stream this for the entire world.

This is probably one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Ever.

OT: Hmm... What to do in five minutes with the whole world watching?
ZIIIIIP...*fap*fap*fap*fap*.

 

[DanielBrown]

I'd definetly do this;

 

[Crazy Zaul]

Just scratch my balls for a bit, check for belly fluff and get on with my day.

 

[Zeema]

Look at you. Like fat pigs you feed, and feed, and complain only when your meal is interrupted. You do not look up. You do not see that the grass is bare. All you leave in your wake is misery. You are blind; I will make you see!

you people are only scared of Death because it would mean losing access to your possessions.

so i wonder what is the thing that will kill you? Greed? Lust? Incompetance? you will all shout saying 'why did this happen?' and i will be there saying 'just look in the mirror'


and then play this for lolz

Spoiler: VERY RUDE language

 

[kurokenshi]

I Tap on the mic!

People of the world I have one question : If a Bear fought a shark who'd win?

 

[Robert Ewing]

I'd have this song translated into every language.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFcxK9wl-RU

 

[Spineyguy]

Unfortunately, what I have to say to the world could not possibly be squeezed into 5 minutes. Perhaps if it was recorded and I just said everything really fast, they could slow it down later and try to work out what on earth I was talking about.

 

[Sansha]

Before I go on the air, I would talk to all the major corporations in the world and get them to bid for me to do an advertisement for their products or services. DHL would be my first choice.

I would be insanely fucking rich.

 

[fredaus]

*clear throat* Everybody poops.

i would then proceed to stand there and let it sink in.

 

[RoBi3.0]

I am going to take a page out of Nick Swordson's book for this one.

I first would have my 5 minutes billed as me say the most important thing the world has yet to hear. Then, I would yell "Oh my god who Farted?" act discussed then shoot myself in the head. The remaining 5 minuted will be me bleeding out on the ground.

Can you imagine how many people I would leave a lasting impression on, all of which will probably be fucked up because of it. I mean how bad can a fart smell that it would make someone kill themselves...... pretty fucking bad I would guess.

 

[VeneratedWulfen93]

I'd stay silent for the first minute and then, when no one was expecting it I would break out into "winter wrap up" and with any look the whole world would join in with me and BAM!!...World peace.

 

[UrieHusky]

I have Glossophobia so it really wouldn't end well XD I'd just freeze up, I simply wouldn't be able to say anything. I'd probably try and get someone better suited for public speaking to take my place

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

Why the wars? Why the judging? Why try solve problem with your own ideas when you can just use another countries? Why all this pride? This world doesn't have time for this crap. Its time everyone learns to grow some skin and concentrate on building this world up together instead of trying to rip away everyone elses little pieces of the world from them. Finally I leave everyone with words of wisdom that my parents once told me. Get your shit together or get the fuck out! I'm Zack Alklazaris, signing out.

 

[lRookiel]

I'd stay silent for the first minute and then, when no one was expecting it I would break out into "winter wrap up" and with any look the whole world would join in with me and BAM!!...World peace.

You just won, well done sir, I would be sitting at home watching my TV singing along all the way!

 

[Dutch 924]

I would either perform the speech from the Great Dictator or:

"You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Start acting like it!"

 

[Macgyvercas]

I'd tell everyone to stop being a dick and just get along already. And then Rick-roll them.

 

[aei_haruko]

I would make a speech about how people should love eachother, and how quite frankly, if people came together and openly communicated how this world would be so much better. Oh, and i'd tell the world to quit saying that learning is uncool, that shit pisses me off

 

[mrmooninnod]

STOP ELECTING MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Wintermoot]

I'd moon everyone!

Seriously I have no idea. I'd probably just Rick Roll the world as the guy above me said.

EDIT: Maybe I'll try to squeeze this into 2 minutes.

this or something about religion having lost it,s message of love and peace it might sound extremely cheesy but it just might give us world peace

 

[spartan231490]

I don't know that I can put all the worlds problems into 5 minutes, but I'd give it my best try.