Fuck beef jerky

[Mouse_Crouse]

root beer is ginger beer right?

I believe we call Ginger Beer "Ginger Ale". Root Beer is usually vanilla and sassafras flavored.

Having said that, even as an American I agree with the TC, beef jerky is terrible.

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

My personal one is PopTarts. Weird and crumbly and overly sweet.

I tried Beef Jerky about a year ago and really liked it, I'd like to have it in actual long strips sometime, as I always thought that was how its meant to be.

 

[Syzygy23]

Beef Jerky isn't hard to make, it's not an import.

Is too.
No company in Norway that I know of makes beef jerky. The only places I've ever seen beef jerky for sale is in stores that specialize in importing stuff.

Also brand name store bought beef jerky is typically of very low quality. When people drool over beef jerky, they're typically thinking of something you would find at a good butcher shop, or otherwise home made.

First of all, I know of at least one incident where I know the beef jerky being praised was bought from a regular grocery store.

Secondly, I refuse to believe that there is such a large gap between good quality and poor quality jerky that I - who is no connoiseur by any stretch - will flat out spit out and refuse to eat a low quality specimen, but still love the taste of a high quality one. That's not how food works.
A low quality sample of a tasty food will taste merely 'meh' unless there is something wrong with it, like, it's way past the expiration date or something.
If the low quality sample's taste can be described as 'ew, disgusting', the high quality sample is going to be 'meh' at best.

Just put strips of beef in a dehydrator and let it sit overnight. BAM! Beef Jerky.

Now you want something delicious?

Fried.
Octopus.
Tentacles.

It's the DOPEST shit ever invented. It's like... Sorta like mixing calamari, except less rubbery, with a french fry and an onion ring with a little bit of steamed oyster.

Speaking of which, you should eat steamed clams. With butter sauce. Damn it, now I'm hungry.

 

[DeltaEdge]

I'm rather surprised at the amount of discussion this is getting lol. Anyways, I used to really like beef jerky back in the 3rd and 4th grade, when I was 9 and 10, but now, it's just alright. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. I'll eat it, and maybe enjoy it a little bit, but that's about all. And as for root beer, bleugh! That stuff is not very good at all imo. The only drinks I dislike more than root beer are any kind of flavored soda other than lemon lime flavor, i.e., cherry, grape, and orange soda. And at the top of the list of drinks that I most hate is Dr. Pepper. UGH. It tastes like someone took maple syrup, mixed it with cough syrup, then added some hand sanitizer, dirt, and some vanilla and club soda, then mixed it with a dirty wooden chopstick. then got Bear Gryliss to leak his acidic, dehydrated urine into it (There may be a bit of hyperbole in this statement). Dr. Pepper is the worst! Please don't beat me up.

 

[MammothBlade]

You're right, beef jerky tastes as bad as it looks. I'd rather feast on human pancreas saute. (in fact it's much preferred.)

 

[NiPah]

Yeah, that would be alcohol, tried it a few times and never went back.
Never really appealed to me either, the better it is the faster you forget it.

 

[Surpheal]

Taco Bell's Doritos taco

I really don't care about the fact that you put cheese dust on a taco shell, I just don't. If I wanted to eat what is extensively cheese, lettuce, Dog food meat, and Doritos, I would stay home.

Seriously, go fuck yourselves.

 

[neoontime]

I hate Beef Jerky.
Teriyaki Jerky is where it's at. It's the savory snack of GODS!

 

[Bogwhiskers]

Original flavour usually tastes like wee for any brand. Teriyaki is an entirely luck-based flavour, too... Sometimes it tastes like more wee, and sometimes it tastes nice and sweet. Try peppered! Or just a handful of black table pepper and chew on some leather or something.

Even with my favourite brands, bags can vary. Pieces within the bags can vary. Some will crumble on your tongue, some require a chainsaw to break apart. Personally, I find Jack Link's to be the easiest to tear apart, or at least second place to Oh Boy! Oberto. Tillamook is tasteless to me. Once in a while I see a strange lesser-known brand and give it a try, but it's usually thin and bland and much too hard to eat. At least Jack Link's is affordable. Living in a "foreign" US territory, we get not only get jerky imported at highish prices, but it's mostly marketed to rip off Japanese tourists as well.

Now a real snack is proper Old Dutch ketchup chips. Or dill pickle!

But I liked Pepsi Blue, so what do I know.

Actually, what's really good is Melona bars. http://melona.com.ar/images/387.jpg

I can't think of anything I don't really like that hasn't been mentioned before. Pocky and Ribs, mostly. I'm not that adventurous after all...

 

[Aerosteam]

Wait... joking?!

Yep. I liked ME3.
For me, only the ending was shit.

I shall counter this by saying I was joking.

>.>

<.<

[sub][sub][sub][sub][sub][sub][sub]Maybe I won't look like an idiot now.[/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Phlakes]

I know, right? I used to be in Boy Scouts and there was fucking jerky everywhere, you couldn't take a step without having a bag thrown at you, sometimes we even survived long hikes on just jerky, and it was fucking disgusting. It's like solidified meaty vomit. And I never want to touch it again.

 

[Sean951]

I love jerky, but Jack Links is pretty much the worst I've had. Jerky is supposed to be chewy, salty, and occasionally spicy. Jack Links had a flavor that eludes my vocabulary with a texture akin to a poorly cooked steak that wants to fall apart.

 

[geK0]

Pocky seems to be pretty damn over-rated weeabu food : \ I don't mind the stuff, but I don't understand why some people go so crazy over it.....oh right, it's from Japan.

 

[Navvan]

Like anything else there are different qualities of Beef Jerky. Getting beef jerky from a butcher shop/profession is much better than homemade jerky which in turn is generally better than convenience store/supermarket purchased jerky. Of course if it gets to old it starts to taste bad/gets really hard (still edible in most cases just not as good). you wouldn't eat a stale hostess cupcake that has gone stale and say "muffins taste like poo" now would you?

Not saying a lot of Jerky isn't hyped up, but not liking a high quality beef jerky is like not liking a well cooked piece of steak (i.e. only possible if you don't like beef).

Edit: Noticed you had Jack Links which is a mass market (convenience store brand) and of low quality. I personally wouldn't say it tastes like poo, but its definitely low on the list of quality. Also Original generally have a lack of flavor.

 

[Lionsfan]

snip

What was the brand of Root Beer you bought?

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

OP, I see from your profile you are Norweigan. A country in which I was exposed to what I thought were a Haribo Tangfastics equivalent, only to discover they were not coated in sugar, but salt.

Any nation which would do such a thing to haribo, loses its right to comment on food.



All joking aside, I have a few favourites hailing from American stores (we used to have a PX when I lived in Germany, for the American troops), Beef Jerky and Mountain Dew being the main ones.

Things that they don't do well, are chocolate (The Hershey company can go fuck itself, it's never seen chocolate in it's life), Beer*, and Milk (American milk tastes weird. I honestly don't know how given I'm assuming it's produced more or less the same way ours is (i.e. from a cow), but it just tastes weird.).

Of course, we've got a few crazy fucked up foods here in Britain too... Marmite is the devil, and Cheese and Onion pasties are sweaty, oniony abortions of an idea, not worthy of the glorious name of Pasty.


*Sierra Nevada makes a fucking cracking range of beers, everything else they drink is pisswater.


Tlr:

Fuck you, Beef Jerky is second only to Biltong in meaty goodness.

Just so you know, Sierra Nevada is just scratching the surface of the good beer you can get in the US. In America, the most prominent beer is made by the Anhaeuser Busch corporation. It's widely and cheaply available, and it is advertised like nobody's business. Beer made by this company is the American equivalent of Fosters: it's terrible, but it's what people from other countries think all of our beer is like -- as do a lot of Americans, but that's changed big time with the current generation of 20-30 somethings. It used to be that Bud Light was what pretty much everyone drank, but these days people are wising up and buying from microbreweries, including Sierra Nevada but also including other ones like Lost Coast Brewery and North Coast Brewery.

OT: Keeping with beer, Arrogant Bastard ale. I've seen it hyped up by younger beer snobs, but as far as I can tell, they fell for the marketing (which is something to the effect of "If you can't handle this, you're not a real man.") It's just stupidly bitter, all hops and no malt -- and not even a nice citrusy hops taste, just pure bitterness. It's also $4 a bottle. At that price, I could get a decent Imperial Stout.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, there's different types of beef jerky...

"Jack Link's meat snacks
Beef jerky
original
Family quality guaranteed"

Is what the bag says.

Oh God, that's why. Should have eaten Oberto.

OT: "Want some alcohol? WHAT YOU DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL? YOU SHOULD DRINK SOME ALCOHOL. LET ME POUR YOU SOME ALCOHOL."

It tasted like fermented socks.

 

[tthor]

You were eating beef jerky in a can?? or what is that (if that is what you were eating, WHO THE HELL sells beef jerky in a can??)

I kinda like beef jerky, although from my little experience the quality of beef jerky can vary hugely depending on what brand you bought. some taste delicious, some taste crappy (and generally its the really expensive stuff that tastes pretty good >.>) also, Jerky kindof seems like an acquired taste, it took me a bit to start liking it

Pocky seems to be pretty damn over-rated weeabu food : \ I don't mind the stuff, but I don't understand why some people go so crazy over it.....oh right, it's from Japan.

same here; I mean, i have no problem with it, and it tastes kinda good, but why the hell would I pay $2 for only a dozen little cracker thingies dipped in chocolate, its not all that great, and it sure as hell isn't filling in any way >.>

 

[tthor]

Beef Jerky isn't hard to make, it's not an import.

Is too.
No company in Norway that I know of makes beef jerky. The only places I've ever seen beef jerky for sale is in stores that specialize in importing stuff.

Also brand name store bought beef jerky is typically of very low quality. When people drool over beef jerky, they're typically thinking of something you would find at a good butcher shop, or otherwise home made.

First of all, I know of at least one incident where I know the beef jerky being praised was bought from a regular grocery store.

Secondly, I refuse to believe that there is such a large gap between good quality and poor quality jerky that I - who is no connoiseur by any stretch - will flat out spit out and refuse to eat a low quality specimen, but still love the taste of a high quality one. That's not how food works.
A low quality sample of a tasty food will taste merely 'meh' unless there is something wrong with it, like, it's way past the expiration date or something.
If the low quality sample's taste can be described as 'ew, disgusting', the high quality sample is going to be 'meh' at best.

I don't eat a whole lot of jerky, and even I can tell you that there is a pretty large gap betweent he good quality and the bad quality; some brands taste delicous, some brands taste like fatty crap

 

[Finbark]

Yeah I suppose I have been disappointed by "food hype." All of my friends are constantly drinking "Arny Palmer's" (Half lemonade, half iced tea) and claim their addicted or can't stop drinking it. So I thought "what the hell" and bought my self one. I drank the whole thing rather quickly, and shortly after realized that it tasted like pee (or what I imagine pee would taste like). I don't get the hype.