Fuck beef jerky

[Navvan]

Like anything else there are different qualities of Beef Jerky. Getting beef jerky from a butcher shop/profession is much better than homemade jerky which in turn is generally better than convenience store/supermarket purchased jerky. Of course if it gets to old it starts to taste bad/gets really hard (still edible in most cases just not as good). you wouldn't eat a stale hostess cupcake that has gone stale and say "muffins taste like poo" now would you?

Not saying a lot of Jerky isn't hyped up, but not liking a high quality beef jerky is like not liking a well cooked piece of steak (i.e. only possible if you don't like beef).

Edit: Noticed you had Jack Links which is a mass market (convenience store brand) and of low quality. I personally wouldn't say it tastes like poo, but its definitely low on the list of quality. Also Original generally have a lack of flavor.

 

[Lionsfan]

snip

What was the brand of Root Beer you bought?

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

OP, I see from your profile you are Norweigan. A country in which I was exposed to what I thought were a Haribo Tangfastics equivalent, only to discover they were not coated in sugar, but salt.

Any nation which would do such a thing to haribo, loses its right to comment on food.



All joking aside, I have a few favourites hailing from American stores (we used to have a PX when I lived in Germany, for the American troops), Beef Jerky and Mountain Dew being the main ones.

Things that they don't do well, are chocolate (The Hershey company can go fuck itself, it's never seen chocolate in it's life), Beer*, and Milk (American milk tastes weird. I honestly don't know how given I'm assuming it's produced more or less the same way ours is (i.e. from a cow), but it just tastes weird.).

Of course, we've got a few crazy fucked up foods here in Britain too... Marmite is the devil, and Cheese and Onion pasties are sweaty, oniony abortions of an idea, not worthy of the glorious name of Pasty.


*Sierra Nevada makes a fucking cracking range of beers, everything else they drink is pisswater.


Tlr:

Fuck you, Beef Jerky is second only to Biltong in meaty goodness.

Just so you know, Sierra Nevada is just scratching the surface of the good beer you can get in the US. In America, the most prominent beer is made by the Anhaeuser Busch corporation. It's widely and cheaply available, and it is advertised like nobody's business. Beer made by this company is the American equivalent of Fosters: it's terrible, but it's what people from other countries think all of our beer is like -- as do a lot of Americans, but that's changed big time with the current generation of 20-30 somethings. It used to be that Bud Light was what pretty much everyone drank, but these days people are wising up and buying from microbreweries, including Sierra Nevada but also including other ones like Lost Coast Brewery and North Coast Brewery.

OT: Keeping with beer, Arrogant Bastard ale. I've seen it hyped up by younger beer snobs, but as far as I can tell, they fell for the marketing (which is something to the effect of "If you can't handle this, you're not a real man.") It's just stupidly bitter, all hops and no malt -- and not even a nice citrusy hops taste, just pure bitterness. It's also $4 a bottle. At that price, I could get a decent Imperial Stout.

 

[lacktheknack]

Well, there's different types of beef jerky...

"Jack Link's meat snacks
Beef jerky
original
Family quality guaranteed"

Is what the bag says.

Oh God, that's why. Should have eaten Oberto.

OT: "Want some alcohol? WHAT YOU DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL? YOU SHOULD DRINK SOME ALCOHOL. LET ME POUR YOU SOME ALCOHOL."

It tasted like fermented socks.

 

[tthor]

You were eating beef jerky in a can?? or what is that (if that is what you were eating, WHO THE HELL sells beef jerky in a can??)

I kinda like beef jerky, although from my little experience the quality of beef jerky can vary hugely depending on what brand you bought. some taste delicious, some taste crappy (and generally its the really expensive stuff that tastes pretty good >.>) also, Jerky kindof seems like an acquired taste, it took me a bit to start liking it

Pocky seems to be pretty damn over-rated weeabu food : \ I don't mind the stuff, but I don't understand why some people go so crazy over it.....oh right, it's from Japan.

same here; I mean, i have no problem with it, and it tastes kinda good, but why the hell would I pay $2 for only a dozen little cracker thingies dipped in chocolate, its not all that great, and it sure as hell isn't filling in any way >.>

 

[tthor]

Beef Jerky isn't hard to make, it's not an import.

Is too.
No company in Norway that I know of makes beef jerky. The only places I've ever seen beef jerky for sale is in stores that specialize in importing stuff.

Also brand name store bought beef jerky is typically of very low quality. When people drool over beef jerky, they're typically thinking of something you would find at a good butcher shop, or otherwise home made.

First of all, I know of at least one incident where I know the beef jerky being praised was bought from a regular grocery store.

Secondly, I refuse to believe that there is such a large gap between good quality and poor quality jerky that I - who is no connoiseur by any stretch - will flat out spit out and refuse to eat a low quality specimen, but still love the taste of a high quality one. That's not how food works.
A low quality sample of a tasty food will taste merely 'meh' unless there is something wrong with it, like, it's way past the expiration date or something.
If the low quality sample's taste can be described as 'ew, disgusting', the high quality sample is going to be 'meh' at best.

I don't eat a whole lot of jerky, and even I can tell you that there is a pretty large gap betweent he good quality and the bad quality; some brands taste delicous, some brands taste like fatty crap

 

[Finbark]

Yeah I suppose I have been disappointed by "food hype." All of my friends are constantly drinking "Arny Palmer's" (Half lemonade, half iced tea) and claim their addicted or can't stop drinking it. So I thought "what the hell" and bought my self one. I drank the whole thing rather quickly, and shortly after realized that it tasted like pee (or what I imagine pee would taste like). I don't get the hype.

 

[Fluffythepoo]

Dont think ive ever had bad beef jerky tho i have had violent diarrhea as a result of beef jerky.. that jerky was still very tastey tho
Maybe tiny little europeans cant appreciate the glutinous cuisine of the americas

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

I only like jerky from meat stores, supermarket jerky is kinda shit. Also root beer doesn't taste good to me either.

As far as things i tried and didn't like I would say the track team when i was still in High school. It was either standing in line to throw something and or standing in line to run, and it was all shit.

 

[SimpleJack]

You can't just...fuck beef jerky...

 

[mysecondlife]

I'm currently nibbling on beef jerky right now.

I can't say what Jack Link or w/e tastes like, but what I'm having is pretty awesome.

Over hyped shit? Probably Mcribs from McDonalds

 

[Dwarfman]

Fuck beef jerky. Beef jerky is poo.

And fuck the root beer I bought. Tasted like baking soda with sugar and vanilla. I left it in the parking lot after one sip. It was shit.

So, escapists: Have you ever tried something that's been stupidly hyped up only to realize it was shit?

Haven't tried American Jerky. I have tried Billtong which is the South African equivalent and thought it nice, although very dry and salty, I certainly wouldn't consume a lot of it.

I like root beer. That being said I grew up drinking sarsparilla and it's pretty much the same thing. Some root beers are shit though, you need to check out the ingredients on the bottle. It they use proper root extract the result is nice root beer. If they use artificial ingredients, your description of baking soda with sugar and vanilla is most appropriate.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Well, I'd say beef jerky, like most things, has variable quality. At the low end, it is little more than dog food. Hell, when I was a kid, my school sold pieces that I'd swear came from the pet store (And, for the record, I did in fact personally test several varities of pet food as a child. And as an adult. In the case of the former, it was because I was curious and the latter because of a dare (and it is technically edible)). But, there are caveats: if you do not like the base meat, you will not like the jerky version.

At it's most basic, jerky is nothing more than dried meat. It will taste like meat minus the various metalic flavors you'll find in a plain steak. You'd be hard pressed to find one that does not include salt as a key flavor (and preservative). Some are smoked dry (with predictable flavor results) and others are not. Beyond that, flavor is highly variable. Salt and/or pepper are common. Teriyaki is common as well. I've seen variations on sweet and spicy and even sour from time to time.

I guess the bottom line is that if you like beef, there is probably a jerky version you'd like. Probably lots of them. Assuming beef jerky is bad based on one experience that came in a can (I have never seen jerky in a can. Paper bags, plastic bags, and individual plastic wrappers sure but never a freakin' can) is like assuming hamburgers as a food item are terrible because you tried a Big Mac.

 

[Ljs1121]

I personally like beef jerky, but I rarely eat it due to the fact that one bite gets it stuck in my teeth for all eternity.

I'm not a big fan of Nutella. I realize that I just inspired 90% of the Internet to viciously murder me and set all my possessions on fire by uttering that sentence, but it's the truth.

 

[martyrdrebel27]

snip

beef jerky is amazing, though there are some less than good iterations of it. i do not recommend Slim Jims. that's not beef jerky, and if that is your experience, i apologize. however, buy yourself a bag of Jack Links. if it doesn't blow your mind with awesome, you simply have broken tastebuds and/or are from another planet.[/

 

[bluepilot]

OP, I see from your profile you are Norweigan. A country in which I was exposed to what I thought were a Haribo Tangfastics equivalent, only to discover they were not coated in sugar, but salt.

Bullshit. Salty candy is best candy.

Spoiler: Awesome:

This one also has licorice and ammonium chloride flavouring.

OP buys a can of food with foreign writing on it, blames America for jerky tasting bad.

The writing is not foreign, it's Norwegian.
It's canned reindeer meatballs with sauce, and it's pretty crappy. It's still better than beef jerky though. And beef jerky is sold as a bloody snack. I wouldn't snack on beef jerky if I was ever so peckish.

Canned reindeer? You just broke my childhood...

OT I have never eaten beef jerky but I have wondered about it.

Also, salty sweets rock! Dark chocolate with salt crystals *devours*

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

Fine more beef jerky and root beer for me.

Captcha code: Market Forces. Is The Escapist trying to tell me something?

 

[Jonluw]

What was the brand of Root Beer you bought?

In the case of root beer, I'm not blaming the drink itself, only the particular brand.
I'm sure it can be done well, but that stuff tasted like baking soda and vanilla.

 

[Jonluw]

beef jerky is amazing, though there are some less than good iterations of it. i do not recommend Slim Jims. that's not beef jerky, and if that is your experience, i apologize. however, buy yourself a bag of Jack Links. if it doesn't blow your mind with awesome, you simply have broken tastebuds and/or are from another planet.[/

Jack Link's was what I bought, actually.
It was shitty.