Fuck beef jerky

[Fluffythepoo]

Dont think ive ever had bad beef jerky tho i have had violent diarrhea as a result of beef jerky.. that jerky was still very tastey tho
Maybe tiny little europeans cant appreciate the glutinous cuisine of the americas

 

[Marcus Kehoe]

I only like jerky from meat stores, supermarket jerky is kinda shit. Also root beer doesn't taste good to me either.

As far as things i tried and didn't like I would say the track team when i was still in High school. It was either standing in line to throw something and or standing in line to run, and it was all shit.

 

[SimpleJack]

You can't just...fuck beef jerky...

 

[mysecondlife]

I'm currently nibbling on beef jerky right now.

I can't say what Jack Link or w/e tastes like, but what I'm having is pretty awesome.

Over hyped shit? Probably Mcribs from McDonalds

 

[Dwarfman]

Fuck beef jerky. Beef jerky is poo.

And fuck the root beer I bought. Tasted like baking soda with sugar and vanilla. I left it in the parking lot after one sip. It was shit.

So, escapists: Have you ever tried something that's been stupidly hyped up only to realize it was shit?

Haven't tried American Jerky. I have tried Billtong which is the South African equivalent and thought it nice, although very dry and salty, I certainly wouldn't consume a lot of it.

I like root beer. That being said I grew up drinking sarsparilla and it's pretty much the same thing. Some root beers are shit though, you need to check out the ingredients on the bottle. It they use proper root extract the result is nice root beer. If they use artificial ingredients, your description of baking soda with sugar and vanilla is most appropriate.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

Well, I'd say beef jerky, like most things, has variable quality. At the low end, it is little more than dog food. Hell, when I was a kid, my school sold pieces that I'd swear came from the pet store (And, for the record, I did in fact personally test several varities of pet food as a child. And as an adult. In the case of the former, it was because I was curious and the latter because of a dare (and it is technically edible)). But, there are caveats: if you do not like the base meat, you will not like the jerky version.

At it's most basic, jerky is nothing more than dried meat. It will taste like meat minus the various metalic flavors you'll find in a plain steak. You'd be hard pressed to find one that does not include salt as a key flavor (and preservative). Some are smoked dry (with predictable flavor results) and others are not. Beyond that, flavor is highly variable. Salt and/or pepper are common. Teriyaki is common as well. I've seen variations on sweet and spicy and even sour from time to time.

I guess the bottom line is that if you like beef, there is probably a jerky version you'd like. Probably lots of them. Assuming beef jerky is bad based on one experience that came in a can (I have never seen jerky in a can. Paper bags, plastic bags, and individual plastic wrappers sure but never a freakin' can) is like assuming hamburgers as a food item are terrible because you tried a Big Mac.

 

[Ljs1121]

I personally like beef jerky, but I rarely eat it due to the fact that one bite gets it stuck in my teeth for all eternity.

I'm not a big fan of Nutella. I realize that I just inspired 90% of the Internet to viciously murder me and set all my possessions on fire by uttering that sentence, but it's the truth.

 

[martyrdrebel27]

snip

beef jerky is amazing, though there are some less than good iterations of it. i do not recommend Slim Jims. that's not beef jerky, and if that is your experience, i apologize. however, buy yourself a bag of Jack Links. if it doesn't blow your mind with awesome, you simply have broken tastebuds and/or are from another planet.[/

 

[bluepilot]

OP, I see from your profile you are Norweigan. A country in which I was exposed to what I thought were a Haribo Tangfastics equivalent, only to discover they were not coated in sugar, but salt.

Bullshit. Salty candy is best candy.

Spoiler: Awesome:

This one also has licorice and ammonium chloride flavouring.

OP buys a can of food with foreign writing on it, blames America for jerky tasting bad.

The writing is not foreign, it's Norwegian.
It's canned reindeer meatballs with sauce, and it's pretty crappy. It's still better than beef jerky though. And beef jerky is sold as a bloody snack. I wouldn't snack on beef jerky if I was ever so peckish.

Canned reindeer? You just broke my childhood...

OT I have never eaten beef jerky but I have wondered about it.

Also, salty sweets rock! Dark chocolate with salt crystals *devours*

 

[That_Sneaky_Camper]

Fine more beef jerky and root beer for me.

Captcha code: Market Forces. Is The Escapist trying to tell me something?

 

[Jonluw]

What was the brand of Root Beer you bought?

In the case of root beer, I'm not blaming the drink itself, only the particular brand.
I'm sure it can be done well, but that stuff tasted like baking soda and vanilla.

 

[Jonluw]

beef jerky is amazing, though there are some less than good iterations of it. i do not recommend Slim Jims. that's not beef jerky, and if that is your experience, i apologize. however, buy yourself a bag of Jack Links. if it doesn't blow your mind with awesome, you simply have broken tastebuds and/or are from another planet.[/

Jack Link's was what I bought, actually.
It was shitty.

 

[Dimitriov]

Hiya escapists.

Being from outside North America, beef jerky isn't something I've had a chance to taste before. Very few stores carry the product, you see. It has to be imported, and it isn't an established food in the culture, so it's just not worth trying to sell it for most.

However, since I am active on the internet reading webcomics and what not, I am bombarded with references to American culture. Which means I've heard a lot about beef jerky, and it's practically always praise. Everything on the net that has to do with beef jerky, it seems, is about how good beef jerky is.

Today I happened to find myself in a store that imports lots of strange groceries (I saw a Pop tart for the first time), and what do you know, there was beef jerky there.
So I thought to myself "let's try this shit". I also bought some American root beer.

Well, turns out it doesn't live up to the hype at all. In fact, it tastes like crap.


Fuck beef jerky. Beef jerky is poo.

And fuck the root beer I bought. Tasted like baking soda with sugar and vanilla. I left it in the parking lot after one sip. It was shit.

So, escapists: Have you ever tried something that's been stupidly hyped up only to realize it was shit?

I'd be curious what brand of rootbeer you got. Personally I love some root beer but other brands are just shitty. Though of course it's not going to be for everyone.

I also like beef jerky, but Jack Links is, as has been mentioned, a pretty shitty brand. That being said, unlike some other posters I would agree with your assessment that it is still indicative of the product's taste: ergo if you don't like Jack Links you probably won't care for other jerky either.

As for me? There aren't too many things I don't like. Some people rave about gin, but I think it tastes like Pine-Sol (for anyone who doesn't know it's a cleaning liquid, and I haven't actually tasted it).

data:image/jpeg;base64,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

Something that was hyped that I enjoyed: Irn Bru. That stuff is awesome.

I am glad that there are grocery stores that stock it here in Victoria, Canada

Edit: Ah. I just saw above: A&W rootbeer.

I kinda like A&W but I would say that it's actually quite different tasting from most brands. It's sweeter, and in a weird way.

Personal favourite widespread brand would be Barq's (as it happens I am drinking some right now.).

 

[Bvenged]

Bacon - the only meat I don't eat is Bacon. Why? Because it tastes like shit.

Steak, pork chops, BBQ Ribs, Chicken of all kinds, actually any paltry and EVEN FISH - but not bacon.

Everyone on this entire fucking planet think "OMG BACON MWUAHAHAH IT'S TEH BEST". I say you're all delusional.
I have suspicion to believe it is in-fact a parasitic life form stealing your minds, because if you take one step back for a second and really ask yourself "What DOES it taste of?" The answer would be

Spoiler: Horribly bitter and chewy strands of fat,

I mean, look at it - LOOK AT IT. What part of that doesn't taste like I'm chewing a chair leg; what part of that fried fat is even edible?

or

Spoiler: The same, minus the chewiness and cooked properly.

I think I'll pass on this and go straight on to taking bites out of the wooden table-top.

Oh, and Beef Jerky, because that's not real beef and tastes just as much like shit, but on teh opposite side of the spectrum.
[hr]
I do like pop-tarts though.

 

[Rottweiler]

Here's how I think:

'Beef Jerky' is strips of beef, usually marinated and spiced, then salted and dried.

However, 'Jerky' is basically any kind of meat which is spiced, salted, and dried. Chicken, Fish, Mutton, you name it- there's a Jerky made from it.


There are so many variations, and I might add the versions *outside* the US or Canada, that there almost has to be a kind you'll like (vegetarians and Vegans, of course, excepted.)

As I live in Alaska, I have access to a lot of different kinds: beef, caribou, bear, salmon, musk ox (surprisingly good)...

I'd suggest you try a few varieties before you make a decision on all beef jerky. As a good friend reminded me, "look, mate- don't try to judge Aussie beer on Fosters. That's just bollocks."

 

[spectrenihlus]

OP, I see from your profile you are Norweigan. A country in which I was exposed to what I thought were a Haribo Tangfastics equivalent, only to discover they were not coated in sugar, but salt.

Any nation which would do such a thing to haribo, loses its right to comment on food.



All joking aside, I have a few favourites hailing from American stores (we used to have a PX when I lived in Germany, for the American troops), Beef Jerky and Mountain Dew being the main ones.

Things that they don't do well, are chocolate (The Hershey company can go fuck itself, it's never seen chocolate in it's life), Beer*, and Milk (American milk tastes weird. I honestly don't know how given I'm assuming it's produced more or less the same way ours is (i.e. from a cow), but it just tastes weird.).

Of course, we've got a few crazy fucked up foods here in Britain too... Marmite is the devil, and Cheese and Onion pasties are sweaty, oniony abortions of an idea, not worthy of the glorious name of Pasty.


*Sierra Nevada makes a fucking cracking range of beers, everything else they drink is pisswater.


Tlr:

Fuck you, Beef Jerky is second only to Biltong in meaty goodness.

You are correct on the milk thing. I'm from America and and European milk tastes a little weird for my taste.

 

[Phisi]

I agree that beef jerky doesn't taste that nice... Billtong on the other hand is orgasmic. Given that I have eaten it since I was a baby, I was teethed on pieces of it, I think it may be an acquired taste.

 

[MercurySteam]

Yeah, it tastes like absolute shit. Doesn't matter if they try to 'flavour' it with teriyaki, BBQ or just original, it tastes awful.

 

[spectrenihlus]

What was the brand of Root Beer you bought?

In the case of root beer, I'm not blaming the drink itself, only the particular brand.
I'm sure it can be done well, but that stuff tasted like baking soda and vanilla.

Yea don't get A&W, if you can get Barq's or Dad's or other small soda brewerys. Much better than A&W.

 

[capper42]

Curry I suppose.
Heard good things, tasted like Beh and dried... Something.
Might have been becasue it was instant or something, I'unno.

Wait, you're basing your opinion on curry, an umbrella name for literally hundreds of different dishes, on some instant variety? I didn't even know you could get instant curry!

At least visit a good Indian restaurant, or follow a good recipe to make your own before writing off such diverse food.