Full Official TMNT Trailer Is A Triumph Of Incomprehensibility

[Foolery]

I'm sensing a lot of people here have never read the original Mirage comics, when the turtles all had red bandannas, actually used their weapons to kill, and blew up the Shredder with a thermal grenade in the first issue. The newer IDW series is also pretty decent. But this is nothing like either of those by the looks of it. Seems like Shrek Ninjas in the Bayformer universe, which isn't a surprise.

Oh well, at least we still have the 1990 movie which respects the source material and draws from the story-lines there.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

I don't mind how they look. They're turtles. What did you expect them to look like? I'll remind everyone involved that real turtles have beaks. This does look like they're trying to make the cartoon/comic look of the turtles into something that is as realistic as possible. They're not going to look "attractive" no matter how you swing it.

So I'm 100% fine with how they look. Big, strong and imposing, but also there's that light-heartedness, and thank Flying Spaghetti Monster for that. Turning them into grim and gritty "Nolanesque" heroes would have killed this movie right out of the park. Yes, the original Eastman and Laird comics had a more harsh edge at times, but no one grew up on those. The majority grew up on the whacky cartoon, with a bit of the original live-action movies thrown in for the fun of it (and they were fun). Embracing the fun will make this movie work.

 

[Flatfrog]

I mean... I just... Why?

Why is Hollywood on a mission to Dark Knightify everything about my childhood? FUCK!

OK, I've only read the first page of this thread but - I don't know, I feel like everyone else was watching a different trailer.

Surely this is one of those 'make it seem dark and gritty then stop with a sudden change of tone to make it clear you were only kidding' kinds of trailers, isn't it? I'm thinking, for example, of the South Park Movie trailer which showed loads of hi-tech FX going into creating a complex digital character who turned out to be Cartman doing a silly dance.

I was never a Turtles fan but as far as I can see, this looks like they're promising a movie with lots of action but tongue-in-cheek humour too. Whether they will *achieve* this is a different question, obviously (trailers lie, after all) but it certainly didn't seem to be 'Dark Knight-ifying' it to me.

 

[Atmos Duality]

It all comes down to whether Michael Bay (and his director) gives a fuck.

Will it be the Michael Bay that did Transformers?
Who openly despised the task, and addressed complaints about shitty humor by letting the same hack writer work on the 3rd movie?

Or is it the Michael Bay that gave us Pain & Gain?

Given that Megan Fox is inexplicably working for him again, I'm heavily leaning towards the "Gives no fucks." Michael Bay myself.

 

[Ldude893]

The original TMNT comics were pretty dark and brooding, so I guess in theory a dark and brooding cinematic version of the TMNT wouldn't be bad. But then, it was the brighter, more colorful version of the turtles that made TMNT popular in the first place.

Either way, I'm betting a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes at the very least.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Our city is under constant attack by crime, we have billions upon billions of dollars we can throw away, what do we do?

A. Donate it to the police department.

B. Lobby for a crack down.

C. Set up self defense courses.

D. Market defensive weapons

E. Sniff tons of coke, steal some animals from the pet store, spend years and years making ugly mutant creatures who only use melee weapon and their shells to fight against modern weapons.

If you answered E, your as high/insane/moronically stupid as the people who wrote this movie.

OP: Why is Megan Fox in this? I thought she absolutely hated working with Michel Bay, even if he is just a producer.

 

[SilverStuddedSquirre]

I do like Michelangelo's updated weapon - the Sansetsukon, though you'd think it would be better adapted to Donatello, since it is a staff that breaks into 3 parts. That part I did like about the trailer.

Time the fuck out! Mikey now has 3-section-staff? /faceesk, facedesk, facedesk, facedesk, facepalm, facewall, facedesk.

Just why? What is the purpose? It's damned ridiculous even before you consider that SHaolen is 100% correct; way more Donny's thing to have a collapsible 3 section than Mikey.

I understand that each new Iteration of a franchise brings a new vision to the project; but We are talking about the most basic, Iconic thing about Mikey besides his personality. (which they seem to get [although he IS the dimwit of the group, easiest therefore to write]) But seriously, what is the point of fucking with their weapons? Are nunchucku some how not cool enough for you? You know who they WERE cool enough for? Bruce Fucking Lee. You're going to Take away Mikey's connection to Bruce? Hey maybe in the Next THOR movie, he can Use a 12oz finishing hammer on a rope like it's a Kusari-gama? It's still Kind of the same right?

Poor, poor Michael Bay and associated Garbage studio. All you want is to make a good movie.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqDH5RDSvm0

 

[Neonsilver]

The whole premise seems completely retarded and it doesn't make any sense. Didn't anyone dare to ask Bay how stupid this sounds?
Seriously, when I want to create some kind of supersoldiers/supervigilantes, why should I base them one turtles? I wouldn't use just one animal either (assuming they have an explanation for that, I'm sure there are enough animals that would be better suited than turtles).
I'm not even sure how ninja training and weapons fit into that origin story, I think it would make sense in that context if they were using guns or tasers and similar means to fight. But that is more my personal opinion.

It sounds like a generic action movie where the turtles are shoehorned in to get some extra money through the nostalgia factor.

small edit: I made this post under the assumption that the turtles weren't created in an accident, but I have to admit that the trailer never states that. So it would still be possible that they came to be due to exposure to the waste of whatever experiments they were doing.

 

[Veylon]

The trailer looks like something 80's Turtles might have made some snarky cracks about. One of the features of the show was how cynical and fourth wall-breaking the main characters were. TMNT started out as a parody and abandoning that spirit strikes me as a major misstep. This is a franchise remembered for it's silliness and camp, after all. I was half-expecting Mike or Raph to break in and wrest control from the overly-serious narrator or to see the Turtles roll their eyes or throw up their hands in exasperation at it's conclusion. That's the kind of stuff that TMNT offers that most franchises don't.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Having looked over IMDB, I can say with certainty that this film is going to be terrible.

For TMNT, Bay chose:
-A director whose only credits are other awful movies
-3 TV Writers for the screenplay
-Megan Fox as the top-billed lead. Yes, Megan Fox is billed above the guys playing the Ninja Turtles, in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The film is billed as a "Comedy", but the trailer is played completely straight. (the only "comedic" bit is the very last bit)

What I think is going to happen: Transformers lite.

The turtles will not be in the film for most of it because, like Transformers, the main characters aren't being done in practical effects and CGI is really fucking expensive to do that well.

So, instead of focusing on, y'know, the titular characters of the franchise, they're going to force the next most important character (April O'Neil) onto us as much as possible...which wouldn't be AS bad if the character wasn't being played by Megan Fox; who has consistently provided some of the worst, blandest, "I'm pretty so I don't have to act" performances I've ever seen.

The only good thing I can say is that Ehren Kruger isn't writing the screenplay. But that just means it will be dull, cliche and boring instead of racist, annoying and insulting.

 

[wolfyrik]

Is it just me, or to the turtles' abdomens look like grills? With those freaksihly long legs, it looks to me like they've just taken transformer cgi models and overlayed them with a "turtle" skin. The character design is pretty awful. And is it just me or is April now dark-haired?

It looks like Michael Bay was say there thinking
"hey, preople liked transformers, what else is like transformers and from the 80's? Hey I know, turtles, we can make those look giant robots right?"

 

[Aaron Sylvester]

...what the actual fuck. It's like all the shittiest aspects of every modern sci-fi movie trailer (the Transformers and Battleship kind) were mashed into one. Everything from sheer cheesyness of it all to the "BWOAAAAM BWOOOOOSH" slow-motion sound effects every 5 fucking seconds.

Based on simply this trailer and Bay's previous work, here are my predictions for this movie:
> Non-existent acting talent, mediocre attempts made at acting at best
> Shallow characterization, where you simply don't care about anyone
> Nonsensical plot, possibly full of plot holes or simply idiotic (we already have hints of this)
> Embarrassingly bad humor, the kind that makes you want to duck down with your face covered
> Hot babes, cool cars, cool tech, whatever makes teenagers go "omg so rad!"
> Fuck-tons of lens flare
> Unintentionally hilarious moments
> Volume jacked-up by 300% during action scenes, 500% during explosions i.e. "the Bay experience"

Anyone want to place bets?

 

[chocolate pickles]

The faces of the turtles remind me of Sloth (the deformed guy) from the Goonies... that's not a good thing, is it?

I was never interested in TMNT, but that might be a good thing considering how bad this looks.

 

[FPLOON]

Based on simply this trailer and Bay's previous work, here are my predictions for this movie:
> Non-existent acting talent, mediocre attempts made at acting at best
> Shallow characterization, where you simply don't care about anyone
> Nonsensical plot, possibly full of plot holes or simply idiotic (we already have hints of this)
> Embarrassingly bad humor, the kind that makes you want to duck down with your face covered
> Hot babes, cool cars, cool tech, whatever makes teenagers go "omg so rad!"
> Fuck-tons of lens flare
> Unintentionally hilarious moments
> Volume jacked-up by 300% during action scenes, 500% during explosions i.e. "the Bay experience"

Anyone want to place bets?

How about:
>Despite any "positive" reviews this movie gets, everyone will still say that the 2012 TMNT series is WAY better
>Movie's ending alludes to [potential] sequel
>A song by Linking Park? (Or, at least, a song that would remind you of that band somehow)

I could only take the first two of mine serious enough to see it happening...