Fun with Omegle

[SturmDolch]

Oh man I have so many. In fact, I saved two of them in a word doc:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey im gonna right to the point, 1m 19 male n wanna get naughty on webcam with a female, u in?
You: DEFINITELY
Stranger: how old r u?
You: Old enough!
Stranger: temme
Stranger: im gonna see u neway
You: 41
You: brb have to shave beard
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: im a horny male 15 wanting to flirt
You: Well that's just fucking disgusting
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Also, I'll sometimes go on and post this:

Spoiler

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Not sure if it shows up on the Escapist, but it's a dinosaur in a top hat with a monocle. So someone will ask "asl" and I'll say "21/d/ca". They'll ask "d?" and I'll respond with that saying DINOSAUR!!!

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Everyone leaves when I say "all of them!" to the m/f question.

I guess people on there are just too mature for me.

And one fun (I say 'fun') game is going on with a friend on a nother computer and trying to find eachother.

 

[vrbtny]

Spoiler: Omegle at 3 am

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: TEXAS
You: STAR
Stranger: GOOD JOB, RAMIREZ.
Stranger: LET'S SHOW THESE ROOKIES HOW TO FIRE.
You: i think i talked to you like 30 minutes ago
Stranger: NO TIME TO TALK, RAMIREZ! USE YOUR SHOTGUN TO SNIPE THE ENEMY
You: SIR YES SIR
Stranger: GOOD MAN!
Stranger: LOOK OUT, RAMIREZ! IT'S RAINING CHOPPERS!
You: OH FUCK
You: PASS ME A GREEN ONE!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, WATCH YOUR FIRE! WE GOT FRIENDLIES IN RUSSIA!
You: I KNOW, SIR! I WAS GONNA THROW IT AT THAT MACHINE GUN NEST!
Stranger: GODDAMN RUSKIES! RAMIREZ, THROW YOUR SHOTGUN AT THAT ENEMY APC!
You: THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO SHOOT THEM WITH?!
You: MY DICK?!
Stranger: USE YOUR BODY TO ATTACK THE ENEMY'S FLANK!
Stranger: BLOCK THEIR BULLETS WITH YOUR TEAMMATES!
You: THAT MEANS THEY DIE, SIR!
You: WE'D BE LOSING MEN!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, GET BEHIND FRIENDLY COVER! SHIELD YOURSELF WITH THEIR PRIVATES!
You: WITH THEIR WHAT?
Stranger: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, PRIVATE! USE YOUR BICEPS TO INTERCEPT THEIR TRANSMISSIONS!
You: SIR! THEIR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TRICEP-ENCODED!
Stranger: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, PRIVATE! CLIMB THAT ENEMY TURRET EMPLACEMENT AND TRY AGAIN!
You: I THINK I GOT IT, SIR!
You: BUT I CAN'T READ IT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUSSIAN, YOU DAMN REDS!
Stranger: GODDAMN WOLVERINES! RAMIREZ, CHARGE THEIR FRONT LINES! USE YOUR RIOT SHIELD TO DEFLECT BULLETS INTO TEAMMATES!
You: SIR, YES SIR!
Stranger: YOU JUST SAVED WHISKY HOTEL, PRIVATE! NOW, LIGHT THAT FLARE WITH YOUR ANUS!
You: YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR!
Stranger: I'M DAMNED PROUD OF YOU,
You: THANK YOU, SIR!
You: so yea i gotta go. got anatomy in the morning. can i ask where that came from?
Stranger: TAKE A GUESS, PRIVATE.
You: I honestly don't know
You: my mind is blank
Stranger: MUDKIPS, SON. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
Stranger: 4CHAN, PRIVATE.
You: a /b/rother?
Stranger: GODDAMNED RIGHT, PRIVATE!
Stranger: I'M OSCAR MIKE! GODSPEED, RAMIREZ!
You: GODSPEED!
Stranger: <3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That. Was. So. Fuckin'. Epic.

 

[Regular Guy]

Another one from just now:

Stranger: dzie&#324; dobry.
You: Polack.
Stranger: *o* YES
You: Same here, bro.
Stranger: o boze hahaha
You: Not gonna write in it, just because my keyboard is an english one.
You: So, remember that time our entire government got into a small plane?
Stranger: you are crazy ;<
You: And crashed into a fucking forest?
Stranger: okkk, i have to go, NARAAAAAAAA

 

[rockera]

I don't live in Alabama. That was just a random place I picked.

I always pick Tracy, California >.>

I always pick Steve
teh dum tish

 

[Jack and Calumon]

Am I going to get cocks shown at me, AGAIN?

Calumon: They show chickens? Chickens are cool! Let me see!

 

[Oh That Dude]

Spoiler: Omegle at 3 am

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: TEXAS
You: STAR
Stranger: GOOD JOB, RAMIREZ.
Stranger: LET'S SHOW THESE ROOKIES HOW TO FIRE.
You: i think i talked to you like 30 minutes ago
Stranger: NO TIME TO TALK, RAMIREZ! USE YOUR SHOTGUN TO SNIPE THE ENEMY
You: SIR YES SIR
Stranger: GOOD MAN!
Stranger: LOOK OUT, RAMIREZ! IT'S RAINING CHOPPERS!
You: OH FUCK
You: PASS ME A GREEN ONE!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, WATCH YOUR FIRE! WE GOT FRIENDLIES IN RUSSIA!
You: I KNOW, SIR! I WAS GONNA THROW IT AT THAT MACHINE GUN NEST!
Stranger: GODDAMN RUSKIES! RAMIREZ, THROW YOUR SHOTGUN AT THAT ENEMY APC!
You: THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO SHOOT THEM WITH?!
You: MY DICK?!
Stranger: USE YOUR BODY TO ATTACK THE ENEMY'S FLANK!
Stranger: BLOCK THEIR BULLETS WITH YOUR TEAMMATES!
You: THAT MEANS THEY DIE, SIR!
You: WE'D BE LOSING MEN!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, GET BEHIND FRIENDLY COVER! SHIELD YOURSELF WITH THEIR PRIVATES!
You: WITH THEIR WHAT?
Stranger: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, PRIVATE! USE YOUR BICEPS TO INTERCEPT THEIR TRANSMISSIONS!
You: SIR! THEIR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TRICEP-ENCODED!
Stranger: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, PRIVATE! CLIMB THAT ENEMY TURRET EMPLACEMENT AND TRY AGAIN!
You: I THINK I GOT IT, SIR!
You: BUT I CAN'T READ IT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUSSIAN, YOU DAMN REDS!
Stranger: GODDAMN WOLVERINES! RAMIREZ, CHARGE THEIR FRONT LINES! USE YOUR RIOT SHIELD TO DEFLECT BULLETS INTO TEAMMATES!
You: SIR, YES SIR!
Stranger: YOU JUST SAVED WHISKY HOTEL, PRIVATE! NOW, LIGHT THAT FLARE WITH YOUR ANUS!
You: YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR!
Stranger: I'M DAMNED PROUD OF YOU,
You: THANK YOU, SIR!
You: so yea i gotta go. got anatomy in the morning. can i ask where that came from?
Stranger: TAKE A GUESS, PRIVATE.
You: I honestly don't know
You: my mind is blank
Stranger: MUDKIPS, SON. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
Stranger: 4CHAN, PRIVATE.
You: a /b/rother?
Stranger: GODDAMNED RIGHT, PRIVATE!
Stranger: I'M OSCAR MIKE! GODSPEED, RAMIREZ!
You: GODSPEED!
Stranger: <3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BEST. SHIT. EVER.

 

[superbatranger]

Spoiler: Omegle at 3 am

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: TEXAS
You: STAR
Stranger: GOOD JOB, RAMIREZ.
Stranger: LET'S SHOW THESE ROOKIES HOW TO FIRE.
You: i think i talked to you like 30 minutes ago
Stranger: NO TIME TO TALK, RAMIREZ! USE YOUR SHOTGUN TO SNIPE THE ENEMY
You: SIR YES SIR
Stranger: GOOD MAN!
Stranger: LOOK OUT, RAMIREZ! IT'S RAINING CHOPPERS!
You: OH FUCK
You: PASS ME A GREEN ONE!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, WATCH YOUR FIRE! WE GOT FRIENDLIES IN RUSSIA!
You: I KNOW, SIR! I WAS GONNA THROW IT AT THAT MACHINE GUN NEST!
Stranger: GODDAMN RUSKIES! RAMIREZ, THROW YOUR SHOTGUN AT THAT ENEMY APC!
You: THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO SHOOT THEM WITH?!
You: MY DICK?!
Stranger: USE YOUR BODY TO ATTACK THE ENEMY'S FLANK!
Stranger: BLOCK THEIR BULLETS WITH YOUR TEAMMATES!
You: THAT MEANS THEY DIE, SIR!
You: WE'D BE LOSING MEN!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, GET BEHIND FRIENDLY COVER! SHIELD YOURSELF WITH THEIR PRIVATES!
You: WITH THEIR WHAT?
Stranger: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, PRIVATE! USE YOUR BICEPS TO INTERCEPT THEIR TRANSMISSIONS!
You: SIR! THEIR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TRICEP-ENCODED!
Stranger: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, PRIVATE! CLIMB THAT ENEMY TURRET EMPLACEMENT AND TRY AGAIN!
You: I THINK I GOT IT, SIR!
You: BUT I CAN'T READ IT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUSSIAN, YOU DAMN REDS!
Stranger: GODDAMN WOLVERINES! RAMIREZ, CHARGE THEIR FRONT LINES! USE YOUR RIOT SHIELD TO DEFLECT BULLETS INTO TEAMMATES!
You: SIR, YES SIR!
Stranger: YOU JUST SAVED WHISKY HOTEL, PRIVATE! NOW, LIGHT THAT FLARE WITH YOUR ANUS!
You: YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR!
Stranger: I'M DAMNED PROUD OF YOU,
You: THANK YOU, SIR!
You: so yea i gotta go. got anatomy in the morning. can i ask where that came from?
Stranger: TAKE A GUESS, PRIVATE.
You: I honestly don't know
You: my mind is blank
Stranger: MUDKIPS, SON. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
Stranger: 4CHAN, PRIVATE.
You: a /b/rother?
Stranger: GODDAMNED RIGHT, PRIVATE!
Stranger: I'M OSCAR MIKE! GODSPEED, RAMIREZ!
You: GODSPEED!
Stranger: <3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That. Was. So. Fuckin'. Epic.

Spoiler: Omegle at 3 am

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: TEXAS
You: STAR
Stranger: GOOD JOB, RAMIREZ.
Stranger: LET'S SHOW THESE ROOKIES HOW TO FIRE.
You: i think i talked to you like 30 minutes ago
Stranger: NO TIME TO TALK, RAMIREZ! USE YOUR SHOTGUN TO SNIPE THE ENEMY
You: SIR YES SIR
Stranger: GOOD MAN!
Stranger: LOOK OUT, RAMIREZ! IT'S RAINING CHOPPERS!
You: OH FUCK
You: PASS ME A GREEN ONE!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, WATCH YOUR FIRE! WE GOT FRIENDLIES IN RUSSIA!
You: I KNOW, SIR! I WAS GONNA THROW IT AT THAT MACHINE GUN NEST!
Stranger: GODDAMN RUSKIES! RAMIREZ, THROW YOUR SHOTGUN AT THAT ENEMY APC!
You: THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO SHOOT THEM WITH?!
You: MY DICK?!
Stranger: USE YOUR BODY TO ATTACK THE ENEMY'S FLANK!
Stranger: BLOCK THEIR BULLETS WITH YOUR TEAMMATES!
You: THAT MEANS THEY DIE, SIR!
You: WE'D BE LOSING MEN!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, GET BEHIND FRIENDLY COVER! SHIELD YOURSELF WITH THEIR PRIVATES!
You: WITH THEIR WHAT?
Stranger: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, PRIVATE! USE YOUR BICEPS TO INTERCEPT THEIR TRANSMISSIONS!
You: SIR! THEIR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TRICEP-ENCODED!
Stranger: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, PRIVATE! CLIMB THAT ENEMY TURRET EMPLACEMENT AND TRY AGAIN!
You: I THINK I GOT IT, SIR!
You: BUT I CAN'T READ IT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUSSIAN, YOU DAMN REDS!
Stranger: GODDAMN WOLVERINES! RAMIREZ, CHARGE THEIR FRONT LINES! USE YOUR RIOT SHIELD TO DEFLECT BULLETS INTO TEAMMATES!
You: SIR, YES SIR!
Stranger: YOU JUST SAVED WHISKY HOTEL, PRIVATE! NOW, LIGHT THAT FLARE WITH YOUR ANUS!
You: YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR!
Stranger: I'M DAMNED PROUD OF YOU,
You: THANK YOU, SIR!
You: so yea i gotta go. got anatomy in the morning. can i ask where that came from?
Stranger: TAKE A GUESS, PRIVATE.
You: I honestly don't know
You: my mind is blank
Stranger: MUDKIPS, SON. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
Stranger: 4CHAN, PRIVATE.
You: a /b/rother?
Stranger: GODDAMNED RIGHT, PRIVATE!
Stranger: I'M OSCAR MIKE! GODSPEED, RAMIREZ!
You: GODSPEED!
Stranger: <3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

BEST. SHIT. EVER.

Glad to see you two enjoyed it.

 

[JLML]

I've used the site to and from. I've actually met several persons there that I maintained contact with. Although it's only 2 of them I still stay in touch with. It was almost a year since last I used the site after all.

Out of those 2, 1 is from Sweden as well, and we have a lot in common. We used to spend hours complaining about political stuff and ideologies... Yea, we really are that boring. The other one is someone I've mentioned a lot (and by that I mean a LOT) both here and at other places. If you've ever heard me talking about a certain "that person" it's that person. It's funny you can meet such awesome beings as that person at a site most famous for being a breeding ground for trolls and perverts.

I also once had a 6 hour long chat with some random person in the states, until the connection imploded. It was a bit... Half-serious, but very funny and entertaining. More so than enough to justify staying up the entire night without doing anything really.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Oh, such fun.

Spoiler

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
Stranger: fuck
Stranger: you
You: gladly
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or send us feedback
Was this conversation great? Download the log!

 

[Coppo]

I spend WAY too much time on Omegle.

Spoiler: Why people look for women on Omegle

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hiii!
Stranger: asl
You: Hold it!
Stranger: k
You: Hmm... yes... I see...
You: I take one look at you and I see you're not completely fulfilled in life.
Stranger: true
You: You're seeking that special someone to make you feel whole inside.
Stranger: true
You: Someone to shower you with attention and share your future experiences with.
You: Am I right or am I right?
Stranger: YES
You: Of course I'm right.
You: And you want to know where to start looking, right?
Stranger: yes
You: Well look no further! You've come to the right place!
You: Welcome to Stan's Previously Owned Cabaret Dancers!
Stranger: alright
Stranger: hah
You: We've got all sorts of women looking for romance and family life, all going for a low low price!
You: We've got personalities and appearances ranging as far as the eye can see.
You: Sensitive? Bold? Funny? Courage?
Stranger: what do you have arround the $300 range
You: You want it, it's yours my friend.
You: Is there any lady in particular you're interested in?
Stranger: white
Stranger: never bitches or complains
Stranger: always cooks
Stranger: always cleans
Stranger: does whatever i want without question
Stranger: will bar as many kids as i want with no complaining
Stranger: do you have any of those or are those impossible to come by
You: Hmm. I can see that you're only interested in the best and finest deals.
Stranger: yes
You: I like a man who knows what he wants!
Stranger: always
You: Let's start out with our top range of lovely ladies!
Stranger: alright
You: Here we have Nicole.
You: She comes with everything you want and more!
You: This lady's filled with extras!
Stranger: extra what
You: Double Ds, bushy long hair, built in phone, mouth that doubles as a safe, can be reassembled into a pool...
You: It's like your very own swiss army knife in a carbon based lifeform!
Stranger: awesome,
Stranger: whats the catch
You: Now now. You know ol' Stan only wants the best for his customers.
You: And I assume money is no issue?
Stranger: corect
You: After all, a man with such demanding taste should be determined to get what he wants.
You: Now, where shall we start the bidding?
You: What is your offer on our Nicole?
Stranger: 25 cents
You: Well I guess we could start out at the bottom.
Stranger: is there a reserve
You: Perhaps you should reconsider what this lovely lady can really do for you.
Stranger: 10,000
You: I only want the best for you, but I'm sure you only want the best for ol' Stan too. Right?
Stranger: 10001
You: And what currency would that 10001 be in?
Stranger: american
You: 10001 Americans?
Stranger: Cash too
You: Son, that's slave labour you're talking about.
You: I don't accept people as currency. That is just wrong in Stan's books.
You: Is there anything else you could use for payment?
Stranger: 10,001 dollars american dollars
You: Well, that's a little better, but not much.
You: Remember, this lovely lady's going to spend her entire lifetime with you.
Stranger: yes, but shes going to cost me way more than that
You: You could live the rest of your life in comfort and harmony.
Stranger: yes true
You: Now, how about that offer of yours?
Stranger: My final is $39,000 and a rubix cube
You: Well, that is a little better, but not much.
You: If that is your final offer, then I'm sorry but there is no deal.
Stranger: okay
You: I must've gotten a wrong impression of you.
Stranger: i guess so
You: And here I was thinking that you're a passionate man who wants the very finest in life.
You: Hey, it's an easy mistake to make.
You: Is there anything else you might be interested in?
Stranger: i do but no woman is worth that much
You: I think you may have underestimated our very own Nicole.
Stranger: no im all set sir
You: Is there anything else you might be interested in?
Stranger: im sorry we couldnt come to a common ground
Stranger: no that you
Stranger: have a wonderful night
You: I'm only sorry that I could'nt fulfill your inner most desires.
You: But do stop by again. I'm sure we'll have someone perfect for you soon.
Stranger: it is okay
Stranger: yes, good day
You: Remember, Stan's Previously Owned Cabaret Dancers.
You: Tell all your friends.
Stranger: I will
You: See you again soon.
You: Ooh! Before I forget!
You: Take my card.
Stranger: okay
You: And this as well.
Stranger: what is it
You: It's a highly magnetic compass.
Stranger: oo
You: It always points to Stan's, so whenever you want a deal, you know where to find me!
Stranger: Alright, have a great night
Stranger: Good Bye
You: You too my friend, you too.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spoiler: Three Bears Alternate Ending 1

You: You find yourself in the middle of a forest when you're suddenly approached by a bear. What do you do?
Stranger: " Hi there bear .. wtf is up !! "
You: "I'll tell you wtf is up, buddy" says the bear."
You: "I think someone's broken into my house."
You: "I'd go check it out myself, but it might be a hunter. Would you mind looking for me?"
Stranger: " fa sho.. lead the way "
You: The bear leads you to his house, where his wife and child are hiding behind a nearby bush.
Stranger: ok ok i quit
Stranger: lol
Stranger: where are you from
You: "Now you go in there, and look around for any signs of trouble. Let me know if you find someone."
You: (Come on, asl's aren't interesting.)
Stranger: lol could be
You: You enter the house, and you can go into the kitchen, living room, or upstairs.
Stranger: upstairs
You: You go upstairs, and see a vase of flowers, and three beds in order of size. In the smallest bed, you see a lump shaped duvet cover.
Stranger: hm..
Stranger: im no rly into this.. just sayin lol
Stranger: not*
You: You tell yourself you're not really into this. Too bad you already told the bear you'd do him a favour, no backing out now.
Stranger: LMAO
Stranger: * kills everythng bad * " coast is clear bear !! "
You: In your merciless slaughter, you end up killing a leprechaun who could've granted you one wish.
Stranger: nope...
You: The bears come into the house. "Good work, but we already found our culprit outside."
Stranger: i killed the bad stuff
You: "It was this golden haired brat. Don't worry, we'll deal with her. In the meantime, my wife will make you some porridge."
You: "Would you like it hot, cold, or just right?"
Stranger: i quit !!
You: You yell at the top of your lungs, "I quit!!" The bears look at you funny.
You: Hours pass...
You: You wake up from a nap in the bedroom of the three bears.
You: You hear a faint banging and screaming coming from downstairs.
You: As you get out of bed, you see that your clothes are drenched in blood.
You: And you're wearing a white and blue frilly dress, but that's hard to notice amongst all the blood.
You: You attempt to not involve yourself in this story any more by not sending your brain any more commands.
Stranger: nope.. im readin
Stranger: can you just tell me one thing !!
You: You beseech the Almighty Narrator to tell you one more thing.
You: "What?"
Stranger: what color is this dern bear !!
You: "Brown, with a slight hint of light brown around the neck and stomach."
Stranger: lol proceed
You: As you start to move away from the bed and closer to the staircase, the banging and screaming grow ever louder.
Stranger: ew
You: Before you can decide on what to do next, a young bear comes upstairs and asks "Hello, would you like to play Break the Pinata with me?"
Stranger: no, sounds scary
You: The bear starts to cry. If this goes on, his parents will be alerted and will see you standing next to him. Not the best place to be.
Stranger: * pushes the bear down * " shut up.. lets go "
You: You push the bear down the stairs, and run down. By tripping over a chair, you move it out of the way of the broom closet door, allowing a badly wounded blonde girl wearing a potato sack to fall out.
Stranger: ew gross
You: "Eek! Who are you? Why are you wearing my clothes? Is that my blood? Nevermind, let's get out of here!"
Stranger: * confused * * throws my hand out * " Lets go !! "
You: You and the blonde headed girl head towards the front door. The front door is blocked by Mama Bear.
Stranger: * ninja kicks mamma bear outta the way *
You: "Making off with Baby Bear's toy I see? Maybe you're not the noble patriot we thought you were."
You: You ninja kick Mama Bear out of the way, but Papa bear gives chase through the forest.
Stranger: * we find a boat.. with a mator lol * me n miss blondie hope in it n tak off * " WOO "
Stranger: motor*
You: You find a boat, with a motor, and operate it and drive off. However, the bear has alerted the Woodland Brigade, who are on full alert to arrest and prosecute you to the full extent to the Grand Oak Tree Pontius and his Law.
Stranger: * we dive in the water only to find an undiscoverd world of friendly faires who take us in *
You: You and the golden haired girl dive into the water, and find an underground civilization of mole people.
Stranger: mole ppl ?!
Stranger: no sir lol
Stranger: wait.. nvr.. yes.. just like thumbalena !!
You: These mole human hybrids are exempt from the law of the forest, and are happy to take you into hiding for now.
Stranger: DUDE.. this story just got great.. i feel like thumbalena
You: You are taken to the Mole People Queen, Queen Amadeus.
You: Queen Amadeus agrees to let you and the golden haired girl to stay, under two conditions.
Stranger: ..
You: That the golden haired girl become her love slave, and that you marry her son, Prince Seuss-Cecil-Vanderbuilt.
Stranger: http://i.neoseeker.com/p/Movies/Animation/thumbelina_profilelarge.jpg <- me !!
Stranger: where the heck did you get tht name
You: The golden haired girl begs you not accept Queen Amadeus' offer, she couldn't bear to submit herself to the complete control of another.
You: And who could blame her, she got mauled by bears and locked in a cupboard for two hours.
Stranger: * i tell the queen to let me sleep on it.. me n blondie over there go to our room.. decided to to sneak away.. we swim to the top.. make our way to a tree house n find a jet.. we take it to europe..
You: You manage to sneak out of the mole people underground civilization, but not without a stowaway hiding in your pocket. His name is Steve, and he is a talking rock.
Stranger: HOLY SHIOT !!
Stranger: woot
You: After uncounted hours of traveling and hiding from the woodland law, you find an airport!
You: And to keep you up to date on all the happenings between the uncounted hours, Steve is reluctant to talk because he has a crush on the golden haired girl which has made him nervous.
Stranger: wow..
Stranger: we need to wrap this up.. i gosta go !!
You: You fly away, Steve gets the courage to ask the golden haired girl out, she says no, he gets heartbroken, everyone else lives happily ever after.
Stranger: LMAO
You: END OF CHAPTER 1
Stranger: great job !!
Stranger: wow.. theres more ?!
Stranger: how we gna finish it
You: We're not.
You: I'm cancelling the series.
You: Bad ratings.
You: Only two viewers.
Stranger: LMAO

Spoiler: Three Bears Alternate Ending 2

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi, hey, and hello are overrated. Please be original.
You: You find yourself in the middle of a forest when you're approached by a bear. What do you do?
Stranger: I hug the bear.
You: You hug the bear. The bear thinks you're nice and friendly, and starts talking to you.
You: "Finally, someone who can help me with my problem."
Stranger: "What problem?"
You: "My wife and kid came home to see the door wide open, and they think it's a burglar.
You: "I'd go check it out, but I'm afraid it might be a hunter that could shoot me on sight."
You: "Will you help an old bear out and go see who's in our house?"
Stranger: "Of course! Anything for a cuddly bear like you. Just one question though."
You: "Certainly. What is it?"
Stranger: "Ever heard of Goldy Locks?"
You: "Nope."
Stranger: "Ah. It's settled then."
Stranger: "Where's your house?"
You: "I'll show you." The bear takes you to his house, and you begin your search for the intruder.
You: Where will you begin looking?
The kitchen? The living room? Upstairs?
Stranger: The kitchen.I'm looking in the fridge too, just in case.
You: You go into the kitchen. You see a vase of flowers and three bowls of porridge on the dining table.
You: You look in the fridge, and you see four boxes of ant poison.
Stranger: I put one box of ant poison in my pocket, another in the "just right" bowl of porridge, and stuff the other two down my shirt.
Stranger: I think my boobs are squarish now.
You: After further investigation, you notice the kitchen is all clear. Where will you look next? Living room? Upstairs?
Stranger: Quick glance at the living room, searching for weapons.
You: Inventory: Three boxes of ant poison
You: You look in the living room, and see two chairs, one broken chair, and a vase of flowers.
Stranger: Grab vase of flowers and smash one chair against another.
You: After some destructive efforts, you see the room is all clear. Where will you look next? Upstairs?
Stranger: Yes.
You: You look upstairs, and you see a vase of flowers and three beds.
Stranger: I feel like I need to pee.
You: Two of the beds are untidy, and there's an unnatural looking lump under the third bed.
Stranger: I pee in the vase and splash the urine in the lumpy bed.
You: You splash the urine in the lumpy bed. The covers are taken off, and you see a leprechaun underneath.
You: The leprecaun speaks:
You: "Don't douse me in urine! I'm a magical leprechaun! I can grant you one wish!"
You: "And I'll do it if you promise not to hand me to the bears!"
Stranger: "Any wish?"
You: "The more uncommon and original your wish, the more likely you'll get it without any unusual twists."
Stranger: "I like that."
Stranger: "Hm...I wish I had the strongest most fast growing armpit hairs in the universe. Strong than the armpit hairs of gods. Controllable, silky smooth with the strength of steel. Manipulable in every way possible."
Stranger: *stronger
You: "Your wish is granted. Enjoy!"
Stranger: "Hurray!"
You: The leprechaun jumps out the window, and your armpit hair grows at an exceedingly noticeable rate.
You: The bears come upstairs and ask "Did you find him?"
Stranger: I use my armpit hairs as legs.
Stranger: I drop kick all the bears with my hairs until the y pass out.
Stranger: I teach my arpit hairs to turn invisible in the meantime, as I wait for the bears to awake.
Stranger: *armpit
You: Your armpit hairs develop the ability to speak.
You: "Where shall we go next, master?"
Stranger: To the Circus Freak Show!
You: You go to the Circus Freak Show, to find that it seems to be abandoned.
You: You go inside and hear footsteps, but see no-one around.
Stranger: Stretch out armpit hairs to scavange the whole area.
You: You scavenge the whole area with your armpit hairs, and discover an invisible person.
You: The invisible person reveals himself.
You: "It is I, Armpit-hair Bill! The Hero of the Armpit-hair Gods!"
Stranger: "Were you destined to find me, honorable one?"
You: "Ah, I see we have a challenger! A cowardly one, who thinks he can copy my own skills to beat me in a battle! Very well challenger, en garde!"
You: Bill readies his armpit hair for battle.
Stranger: Sadly, I combat my secret crush and hero. I am an armpit hair whisperer, so I miraculously fortify my armpit hairs. They're invincible.
You: "Haa haa haa! Your armpit hairs might be invincible, but due to your foolish and destructive antics, so are mine!"
You: "Eons and eons ago, my arch nemesis Princess Shaven Legs imprisoned my armpit hair's invulnerability in the form of two chairs, to which she sold to the three bears of the wood!"
You: "Now that those chairs have been broken, the full power of my armpit hair have been restored!"
Stranger: "I only have admiration and respect for you mighty Bill, even though you think I look like a man. But if you believe that mere mistake of mine has granted your victory, man...you've never been so wrong."
Stranger: I grin, revealing my ultimate weapon.
You: "OH NO! Such an ultimate weapon could not exist! It is a miracle to simply witness it myself! I cannot possibly comprehend such ultimacy and weaponry!"
You: "... what is it?"
Stranger: "Pubes."
You: "No... this can't be happening! You're wrong! You must be!"
Stranger: "Did I mention I'm Princess Shaven Legs and King Nair Hair's great grandchild?"
You: "NOOOOOOOO!"
Stranger: "I'm crazy wrong. I am the new law."
You: "Father... Lord Hairington Harrison the Thirdley... I, failed... you..."
Stranger: I close Bill's eyelids with the extended pubes, wishing him a sorrowful farewell.
You: With the hero of the armpit hair gods defeated, the world could be yours to command! What will you do, O supreme one who has gotten the narrator to submit to thy will?
Stranger: Finally get that brazillian bikini wax I've been dying to try!
Stranger: And fry some frog legs.
You: ...And there the new reigning leader of the armpit hair goes, walking off into the sunset. Where thy heads next, none shall ever know...
You have disconnected.

Spoiler: Pokemon:OmegleOrange

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Wild GEODUDE appeared!
Stranger: Oh.
Stranger: Hm
Stranger: To catch or not to catch.
Stranger: Fine, just because all i've got are Abras lately.
Stranger: Go Charmander!
Stranger: Use some stuff to weaken it!
Stranger: Now go, GREAT BALL.
You: ...
You: ...
You: ...
You: Wild GEODUDE was caught!
You: GEODUDE's entry was added to the Pokedex.
You: Would you like to give a nickname to GEODUDE?
Stranger: RAYMAN
You: RAYMAN was sent to Box 1 at Bill's PC.
Stranger: Nice!
Stranger: Oh I have to trade him don't I
Stranger: to evolve him.
Stranger: It seems RAYMAN can't speak because he's in Box 1.
Stranger: /Go to pokemon Center
/Access Bill's pc.
/Swap RAYMAN for uh...WEEDLE.
Stranger: COME RAYMAN!
Stranger: Let us fight pokemon.
You: "Geo dude!"
Stranger: HAHA RAYMAN! You're hilarious.
You: Wild ZUBAT appeared!
Stranger: Hm
Stranger: To catch or not to catch.
Stranger: Golbat's are pretty bangin'.
Stranger: Ah sigh, I don't what to focus my pokemon types on.
You: "Dude, Geo dude!"
Stranger: Maybe I'll do fighting and ...grass stuff.
Stranger: I'm so gonna box you later RAYMAN.
Stranger: Let's exchange you for this zubat.
Stranger: Wait how far is this gonna go
Stranger: i'm not gonna play pokemon on omegle
Stranger: I have emulators for that
Stranger: 3 hours later i'm fighting the elite four
Stranger: with a level 50 party.
You: Professor Oak: Well done! You beat the Elite Four!
Stranger: ...You know that's right.
You: And you beat my Grandson as well! What was his name again?
Stranger: Daniel/.
Stranger: Daniel.*
Stranger: That guy is my eternal rival.
You: Oh right. Daniel/. Now, let's put your name and Pokemon in our Hall of Fame!
Stranger: OH COME ON
Stranger: Ash ( Really people call me this, no ketchum though, that's why I like pokemon so much perhaps)
Stranger: Golberg
Stranger: RAYMAN
Stranger: Rathalos ( Charizard)
Stranger: Jackie ( Hitmonlee )
Stranger: Bruce ( HItmonchan )
Stranger: George ( Dragonite )
Stranger: I should have exchanged that golem for my primeape long ago, but y'know he was alittle special in some way.
Stranger: Especially since all I got was Abras, how I got any other pokemon, including that weedle I do not know.
You: OK, that just about does it. Now let me tell how about how I knew you would succeed all along, even though I actually wanted you to complete my Pokedex instead of beat the Gym Leaders and Elite Four, before going into an incredibly long credit sequence and your save data to malfunction because you're playing it on an Emulator.
Stranger: Oh...snap.
You have disconnected.

 

[Funkiest Monkey]

I go there occasionally. I troll people for the fun of it.

But this one time, me and my friends got this girl to get her boobs out. It was awesome.

 

[Griphphin]

Stranger: asl
You: Wanna LARP?
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Story of my life.

 

[grimsprice]

Spoiler: Omegle at 3 am

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: TEXAS
You: STAR
Stranger: GOOD JOB, RAMIREZ.
Stranger: LET'S SHOW THESE ROOKIES HOW TO FIRE.
You: i think i talked to you like 30 minutes ago
Stranger: NO TIME TO TALK, RAMIREZ! USE YOUR SHOTGUN TO SNIPE THE ENEMY
You: SIR YES SIR
Stranger: GOOD MAN!
Stranger: LOOK OUT, RAMIREZ! IT'S RAINING CHOPPERS!
You: OH FUCK
You: PASS ME A GREEN ONE!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, WATCH YOUR FIRE! WE GOT FRIENDLIES IN RUSSIA!
You: I KNOW, SIR! I WAS GONNA THROW IT AT THAT MACHINE GUN NEST!
Stranger: GODDAMN RUSKIES! RAMIREZ, THROW YOUR SHOTGUN AT THAT ENEMY APC!
You: THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO SHOOT THEM WITH?!
You: MY DICK?!
Stranger: USE YOUR BODY TO ATTACK THE ENEMY'S FLANK!
Stranger: BLOCK THEIR BULLETS WITH YOUR TEAMMATES!
You: THAT MEANS THEY DIE, SIR!
You: WE'D BE LOSING MEN!
Stranger: RAMIREZ, GET BEHIND FRIENDLY COVER! SHIELD YOURSELF WITH THEIR PRIVATES!
You: WITH THEIR WHAT?
Stranger: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, PRIVATE! USE YOUR BICEPS TO INTERCEPT THEIR TRANSMISSIONS!
You: SIR! THEIR TRANSMISSIONS ARE TRICEP-ENCODED!
Stranger: DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES, PRIVATE! CLIMB THAT ENEMY TURRET EMPLACEMENT AND TRY AGAIN!
You: I THINK I GOT IT, SIR!
You: BUT I CAN'T READ IT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR RUSSIAN, YOU DAMN REDS!
Stranger: GODDAMN WOLVERINES! RAMIREZ, CHARGE THEIR FRONT LINES! USE YOUR RIOT SHIELD TO DEFLECT BULLETS INTO TEAMMATES!
You: SIR, YES SIR!
Stranger: YOU JUST SAVED WHISKY HOTEL, PRIVATE! NOW, LIGHT THAT FLARE WITH YOUR ANUS!
You: YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY SIR!
Stranger: I'M DAMNED PROUD OF YOU,
You: THANK YOU, SIR!
You: so yea i gotta go. got anatomy in the morning. can i ask where that came from?
Stranger: TAKE A GUESS, PRIVATE.
You: I honestly don't know
You: my mind is blank
Stranger: MUDKIPS, SON. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?
Stranger: 4CHAN, PRIVATE.
You: a /b/rother?
Stranger: GODDAMNED RIGHT, PRIVATE!
Stranger: I'M OSCAR MIKE! GODSPEED, RAMIREZ!
You: GODSPEED!
Stranger: <3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That.... was....... AWESOME.

 

[Guttural Engagement]

Cleverbot is much more fun

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

The first time I went on, it was with my friend Sarah since we were both really bored. Two convos in, we ended up talking to each other without knowing it until we copy/pasted snippets of the conversation into our MSN convo.
It was strange.

Also chatted with someone else for three hours, which was a boring conversation. But I had nothing else to do.

 

[Death God]

Stranger: DUDE!!!! I JUST EAT A HANDFUL OF SOME RANDOM MUSHROOMS IN MY BACK YARD AND I'M TRIPPING MAN!! I'M AMAZED I CAN STILL TYPE STRAIGHT!!
You: .... were they good?
Stranger: DUDE, YOU LOOK REALLY WEIRD MAN!!!
You: You do realize we're not using the webcam right man?
Stranger: REALLY? CAUSE YOU LOOK HOT RIGHT NOW! I MEAN REALLY, REALLY HOT RIGHT NOW MAN.
You: Dude, I'm not a girl.
Stranger: I KNOW THAT. WHO SAYS I'M A DUDE.
You: That is a good point. By the way, what's behind you? (just wondering what her reaction is)
Stranger: AHHHH! THAT HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE UGLY WOMAN!!
You: Who is it?
Stranger: MY FATHER AND SHE'S DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH THE DOG AGAIN!!!! THOSE DON'T GO IN THERE DADDY!!
You: .... awkward!
Stranger: My mistake, that's just my sister and her boyfriend. Got to go get some more of those trippy mushrooms man!!
You: Just watch out for those gnomes who eat your nuts.
(long pause)
Stranger: THEY HAVE THOSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(long pause)
Connection imploded.