Funniest Zero Punctuation One Liners

[Grotch Willis]

I'm just curious what the communities take on this is,
my favorites are
"Perturb the Angry Sloth with the frighteningly large dildo"
"Never Stick Your Dick in a Pudding, It might still be good pudding and you can spend the whole afternoon explaining that, but no one is going to eat it, Because YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!"

 

[BAM824]

"We are quickly reminded that the military is shit, and so is everyone in it, while mercenaries are unstoppable immortal bad asses who make tons more money and like it rough from men with hairy bums... NO! Bad Yahtzee!"

"Let's talk about all the sexy VIOLENCE."

"Hopefully you bought the dashing stab attack that is to the combat system what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles."

"F@#$ing hell, did anyone see that? I'm squirting machismo out of my nipples here! I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

There is just to much to list, and always will be, there's a reason why he's the most viewed and beloved member of the Escapist.

 

[unicron44]

Go Team Retard! I don't know I like that one and I use it when describing the stupidity of a group of people.

"It's all your fault, yes YOU Adrian, well your name probably isn't Adrian, but it helped to mess with all the Adrians of the world."

 

[Sarpedon]

"As the frustrated chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, FUCK THAT!"

EDIT: I also remembered another favorite from the Shadow of the Colossus review. "It's just Damn good. Damn damn good good damn good damn damn! GOOD!"

 

[Charlie Emerson]

"Clive Barker's, Clive Barker's: Jericho by Clive Barker."

"He has a dark secret and a troubled past, the Silent Hill equivilent of a season ticket."

WAY to many more to list

 

[Instant K4rma]

"It leaves you emotionally drained and satisfied, like fucking a burning dolphin."

"Then there's this hilarious 4th wall breaking sequence where Duke breaks into the office of the lead designer and punches him in the stomach for being so fucking stupid."

"Wii Swordplay!"

 

[Omechron]

"I could go on listing the game's faults... so I WILL!"

"And for those of you who have not been paying attention *clap clap* OIIII!!!"

 

[TheIronRuler]

"I'm NOT gay!"

That one takes the prize.

 

[ExileNZ]

Honestly, of all the ZPs I've seen (and that's all of them), the only one that comes to mind right now is:

"A shit game for twats."

 

[Nickolai77]

A possible source here: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ben_Croshaw

But i don't think they relate to the stuff he's said on the reviews. Still, it's an interesting read.

 

[Alfador_VII]

"I'm NOT gay!"

That one takes the prize.

Yes it's great, but on it's own it means little. You needed to hear it in the context of the review

"As the frustrated chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, FUCK THAT!"

This is my favourite too!

 

[Zonack]

''So if like me you are COMPLETELY psychotic and after every level you have to run around collecting them all again so everything can be NEAT UND TIDY!''

 

[OldKingClancy]

'I don't know why your still here, piss off. Go on close the browser and fuck off back to Gears of war.
Is he gone?
Good I hate that guy.'
Probably got it wrong but you get the gist.

Also; 'Wii Bowling.
Oh fuck off.'

 

[C117]

''So if like me you are COMPLETELY psychotic and after every level you have to run around collecting them all again so everything can be NEAT UND TIDY!''

This.

Fable 3 review: "Appearently noone wanted to be the guy to bring up the fact that three quarters of the population were dead."

Valkyria Chronicles: "... you have to navigate a menu system appearently designed by a man with his head stuck in a filing cabinet!"

 

[SweetNess_666]

"I'm NOT gay!"

That one takes the prize.

You missed the "just not as fun as tonging another man's balls....as it used to be...I'm Not Gay! Love it

 

[Zonack]

''Farcry's protagonist has been replaced by his great great grand completely unrelated person who didn't inherited his predecessor MASSIVE BALLS''

''For 3 : What happened to Clive Winston? He was one of my favorite characters!
For 4 : What THE FUCK happened to Clive Winston you pricks?!''

''No, stop. Do not reach your e-mail client, I do not want to hear about how you 5-stared Blood Rain on Expert because if you did you are a fucking freak!''

Man, so many really.

 

[SonofaJohannes]

"Prototype still wins though because a sandbox is only as good as the method by which you get around in and Cole has a tendency to get get bogged down with climbing while Alex can shoot blood out of his wrists at jet engine velocity and fly like emo Peter Pan. I'd say it was "made of win" but if I did I'd have to strangle myself."

 

[Henkie36]

The story is paced like an ant pushing a brick across a desert.

Then finally die content with the orange that you didn't spend 12 years waiting for an utterly pedestrian sequel to a game which everyone stopped caring about round 1997 to be realeased by developers who make John Ramira look on the ball!

While you couldn't find a slower boil, besides holding a cigarette lighter under a swimming pool.

Once you've beaten up a debatably bad guy enough, you can press a button which teleports both him and Jack into a little pocket dimension where pain is God and Jack Slate is pope!