Funniest Zero Punctuation One Liners

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

"I'm not a fanboy-yes you are."

I loved it when he called those SSBB whiners out.

 

[Sarpedon]

"As the frustrated chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda on earth, FUCK THAT!"

This is my favourite too!

:]

 

[Terminate421]

GO TEAM RETARD!

Best one ever.

 

[deserteagleeye]

"Wii Bowling! oh fuck off! Wii canoeing!"

 

[webby]

Then finally die content with the orange that you didn't spend 12 years waiting for an utterly pedestrian sequel to a game which everyone stopped caring about round 1997 to be realeased by developers who make John Ramira look on the ball!

You really butchered this quote which made this somewhat hilarious. I believe you meant "content with the knowledge" and "John Romero" there.

Although when I eventually breath my last surrounded by loved ones whilst clutching my favourite piece of citrus based fruit I too will die "content with the orange".

To stay vaguely on topic I will throw my hat into the ring foooooor:
"One-click combat? Endless drudging from place to place? Quests involving killing X amount of monster Y for lazy stationary cockhead Z? This is a mumorpuger! A single-player mumorpuger with no Alliance dipshits teabagging your corpse, but a mumopurger nonetheless!"

 

[imnot]

Not sure if this counts but, something along the lines of
'And when your an adult you can put yor dick in things sometimes I like to go to orphanages and just rub it in'
Sometimes no punctuation has its problems

 

[Thespian42]

"F@#$ing hell, did anyone see that? I'm squirting machismo out of my nipples here! I am a monster truck that walks like a man!"

There is just to much to list, and always will be, there's a reason why he's the most viewed and beloved member of the Escapist.

This. Very, very, this.

Oh, and perhaps, "Well that's an awfully long and convoluted chant you've got there, schoolchildren.", but only in context.

 

[Drall]

My favourite is when he goes on a rant about that timed mission in Halo Wars.

Oh god...

"What, did their battle royale collars explode? Did they lose honor and DISEMBOWEL THEMSELVES!?"

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

"What happens when the stupid arbitrary timer runs out?! Do their Battle Royale collars explode?!"

and (previously mentioned, but the only one I actually use in everyday life)

"As the exasperated Chinese zookeeper said to the last male panda in the world, FUCK THAT!"

 

[D_West]

"Kane and Lynch 2 sucks so many dicks that it breathes spunk instead of air"

 

[Palademon]

"People. Are. Shit. I'm shit. You're shit. The whole world is shit. When I stand in a crowd I ask myself "Who left their shit everywhere?". And if you're one of those people out there thinking "Yes, it's true. Everyone is shit except me." then you're a double bacon shit with large fries, Mr. Shitface. Sorry, this reflects badly on me, doesn't it? I mean Mr. or Mrs. Shitface."

 

[Sable Gear]

"There were bits of it what were so boring I almost had a NIER-death experience-- BOOSH!"

 

[Scrubiii]

"The swinging mechanic feels as smooth and pleasant as a clockwork bumfuck."

 

[GameGoddess101]

"Unless of course you're some recently thawed out neanderthal with no experience with technology; in which case- "GRRR SUBMIT YOUR SOUL TO THE ONE EYED DEMON!!!""

I'm probably misquoting that... But I love it so.

 

[Racecarlock]

"If disliking this shit makes me stupid than call me retard mcspackypants but i'd rather be stupid and having fun than bored out of my huge genius mind."

 

[Hylke Langhout]

"OH PISSING BLIMEY THERE'S JAM COMING OUT OF THE WALLS!"
and
"A genre which the more annoying of my correspondents have made me VERY much aware, I have been ignoring until now"

 

[tokae]

Ohh, I've watched all episodes so many times, but I can only think of two awesome ones right now:

"I don't think America is populated entirely by assholes and cowboys; I know that some Canadians live there, too." (From Super Paper Mario review I think.)

"Why would you steal a passenger jet and fly it directly up the bum hole of a sunbathing prostitute? Just cause!" (Just Cause 2 review.)

 

[Rooster893]

[HEADING=1]PHYSICS![/HEADING]

Short answer: No. Long answer: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

 

[6_Qubed]

Two older lines SHUT UP I KNOW I'M CHEATING:

GTA IV: "blah blah blah ina manner as wincingly painful as it was fucking awesome (FACKEEN ORESUM)"

Condemned 2 Bloodshot: "Right? WRONG. (And shut up.)"

Though to be fair, if you haven't seen the Condemned review yet, get off your ass. You owe it to yourself. And to Baby Jesus.