Funny/Odd Private Messages you have recieved.

[Major_Sam]

I'm a young sexy crazed woman who will stalk you for the low low price of cake. Order today and recieve in the free "How to train your stalker" hand book.

No one sends me weird messages. I don't even get spam. *sigh*

Hmm this intrigues me, what kind of cake do you require madam?

Any cake, except carrot cake, will do as long at is full of sugar and butter. Muffins, cupcakes, pancakes and waffles will also do. And cookies. Send them now to start your life being watched, monitored and recorded by the creepiest chick you'll ever meet. Roses, teddy bears and cards personally delivered to your door by your stalker are included in the package.

Oooooh, I have cake, lots of it, can you stalk me?

Yes we can organise that. The split personallities that we possess cater for these types of cases.

 

[aperpheldy]

I reciebed a text message once that read : "hey vannesa, have got the bubble wrap from paul's. Tacos?"
My name is not vannessa

 

[manicfoot]

I keep getting spam from my own email address. One of the subjects was "I'm in hospital" - why the fuck would I email myself to let myself know I'm in hospital? The next one was pretty damn clever though: "Open it, you Jew!" - its like they're in my head!

 

[Anoos]

I got a call on my mobile with some guy saying I had his drugs and that he was going to come to my house and stab me in the face. That was fun, I presume he had the wrong number unless somebody has been buying drugs with my identity...

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

I'm a young sexy crazed woman who will stalk you for the low low price of cake. Order today and recieve in the free "How to train your stalker" hand book.

No one sends me weird messages. I don't even get spam. *sigh*

Hmm this intrigues me, what kind of cake do you require madam?

Any cake, except carrot cake, will do as long at is full of sugar and butter. Muffins, cupcakes, pancakes and waffles will also do. And cookies. Send them now to start your life being watched, monitored and recorded by the creepiest chick you'll ever meet. Roses, teddy bears and cards personally delivered to your door by your stalker are included in the package.

Oooooh, I have cake, lots of it, can you stalk me?

Yes we can organise that. The split personallities that we possess cater for these types of cases.

I can offer Shortbread as well as various cakes...

 

[TaborMallory]

Me and my friend were playing Halo 3 on XBL, when we saw someone on our team named Dragonforce Lad. Neither me nor my friend like Dragonforce, so we sent him this message:
"Dragonforce sucks, lad."

He shortly replied with:
"I'm playing on my brother's account right now. I don't like Dragonforce either; I listen to stuff like Alice in Chains and Megadeth."

To which we replied:
"Rock on, lad."

 

[Major_Sam]

I can offer Shortbread as well as various cakes...

Shortbread is acceptable. Shortbread with jam and cream is even better. We have quite a number of personallities to suit each and every victim and they all provide equal creepy love so no one is left out.

I recieved a text message once that read : "hey vannesa, have got the bubble wrap from paul's. Tacos?"
My name is not vannessa

This is still my favourite. XD

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

I can offer Shortbread as well as various cakes...

Shortbread is acceptable. Shortbread with jam and cream is even better. We have quite a number of personallities to suit each and every victim and they all provide equal creepy love so no one is left out.

How creepy we talking here?

(also these quotes now make odd messages to add to this thread. YAY!)

 

[Mackinator]

No one has ever sent me a PM on this *sniffle*.
I once got a message on XBL saying "The Jammy dodger has given out and it probably will eat the ice cream and jump over the Christmas tree and take the next right on the left."
Or was that the Rowntrees Randoms advertisement that was just on TV as I typed this post...

 

[Major_Sam]

I can offer Shortbread as well as various cakes...

Shortbread is acceptable. Shortbread with jam and cream is even better. We have quite a number of personallities to suit each and every victim and they all provide equal creepy love so no one is left out.

How creepy we talking here?

(also these quotes now make odd messages to add to this thread. YAY!)

(I keep thinking to myself, "Sam, you are about to almost derail another persons thread for the third time in two days and are going to get in trouble" and you know what I say to that? "Stiff")

We can suit our creepiness to fit any victim. If you want just a few letters, written in blood, a couple of times a week with a standed camera set up. We can do that. If you want daily presents, which can include puppies, pianos and farms, as well as letters, written in blood, and the "epic" camera set up which includes a shower and bedroom HD cameras running 24/7. Your choice of creepiness can be changed if you feel you aren't paranoid enough or you just can't handle it anymore. We are here to please.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

I can offer Shortbread as well as various cakes...

Shortbread is acceptable. Shortbread with jam and cream is even better. We have quite a number of personallities to suit each and every victim and they all provide equal creepy love so no one is left out.

How creepy we talking here?

(also these quotes now make odd messages to add to this thread. YAY!)

(I keep thinking to myself, "Sam, you are about to almost derail another persons thread for the third time in two days and are going to get in trouble" and you know what I say to that? "Stiff")

We can suit our creepiness to fit any victim. If you want just a few letters, written in blood, a couple of times a week with a standed camera set up. We can do that. If you want daily presents, which can include puppies, pianos and farms, as well as letters, written in blood, and the "epic" camera set up which includes a shower and bedroom HD cameras running 24/7. Your choice of creepiness can be changed if you feel you aren't paranoid enough or you just can't handle it anymore. We are here to please.

Take it to PM if you feel like it's derailing. Just saying.

Another odd mesage I got was a row of swearwords... I just laughed...

 

[Knight Templar]

Once on Xbox Live....

I for about three days got messages from a person I had never met before, the first one was asking: "Did you fed lich yet?"
I figured he had been trying to send it to somebody else, but they continued, I can no longer remember verbatium what they said. Suffice to say I think Litch is a fish, because the messages were quite mundane. Anyway it was weird, like hearing a person talk on the phone, only getting one side of a conversation. I replyed a few times but gave up asking him to stop, I got about four messages a day.

Then they stoped, for a week, then started again for about two days, again, just like he was sending these messages to a friend and getting replys, then I decided to block his Gamertag. It has not happend since but it was strange as all hell.

I've gotten messages that were more random, but nothing this strange, it must have been a pain for him too because unless he droped $30 for a Xbox Keypad it would have been a pain to type all that he did.

I asked a mod, whos name begins with "n"

Spoiler

and ends in "ilcypher"

why all versus threads were banned and he said "they are the antithesis of discussion" and that was the only response he gave on the matter.

thanks for answering my question...

He said they are the opposite of discussion, more or less. You could ask him to explain his answer in case I'm wrong.

 

[Beartrucci]

Funny you mention spam mail.......

For the last couple months, I keep receiving spam mail asking whether i want to get a "FR33 TR1AL 0f 0ur P3N1S En1argement". It used to be one every couple of weeks, but now it's 3+ a week.

I'm also getting mail about weight loss pills now, spelt in the same 1337 manner as the penis enhancement ones.......

 

[Beowulf DW]

I once got a voicemail from a man with a Texan accent who said that he had been arrested for D.U.I. and needed a lawyer.

I briefly considered posing as a lawyer to make some cash, but I decided it would be better to just ignore it.

Hope that man figured out he called the wrong guy.

 

[Daveman]

I asked a mod, whos name begins with "n"

Spoiler

and ends in "ilcypher"

why all versus threads were banned and he said "they are the antithesis of discussion" and that was the only response he gave on the matter.

thanks for answering my question...

He said they are the opposite of discussion, more or less. You could ask him to explain his answer in case I'm wrong.

I know what antithesis means. I did ask him to elaborate but he didn't reply and when I sent a message having a go at him for not at all elaborating he said he would've answered if I hadn't been so confrontational which I hadn't been up until that one previous message! He might as well be a troll!

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Random ones that pop up and go "hello", nothing more.

Bewilders me every time.

 

[SomeGuyNamedKy]

I got a message on Xbox Live that read...

DAMN YOU, I haven't lost the game in four weeks.

My bad?