"Gaymers" Speak Out On Homophobia

[Dustereg]

ok well first off im not a homophobe,i am not gay, but a very close freind of mine is and to be frank from day one after he outed himself id have to say every time we play a game i do slip in the word fag and other derogatory words for gays but its even funnier when he comes back with horrible names and cruel jokes for me and my heterosexuality and it goes back and forth till we both run out of insults

but long post short i call my freind fag and ect all the time is that a bad thing?*he really dosnt mind i asked him)

 

[Jobz]

ok well first off im not a homophobe,i am not gay, but a very close freind of mine is and to be frank from day one after he outed himself id have to say every time we play a game i do slip in the word fag and other derogatory words for gays but its even funnier when he comes back with horrible names and cruel jokes for me and my heterosexuality and it goes back and forth till we both run out of insults

but long post short i call my freind fag and ect all the time is that a bad thing?*he really dosnt mind i asked him)

If it's a joke among friends there really isn't anything wrong with it. My friends and I call each other horrible things all the time in the knowledge that we don't mean any of it. As long as no one is getting offended then it's not a problem.

 

[WILLTHEALMIGHTY]

So homosexual CS players have their feelings hurt when they get called a fag?

Can we focus on getting girls to play games first? THEN we can start with the minorities.

I kid, I kid.

 

[LordCraigus]

I thought this was gonna be a topic about the cider... sorry.

 

[DominantGiraffe]

i know a gay guy who calls people faggots on xbl voice chat.

what

now

 

[rakdosleader]

im comfortable around any sexuality. Hell I have lesbian and gay friends and Im a guy.

 

[Texian]

DON'T BREAK UP QUOTES - mod

Riiiiight. Sure. Did you read my post about the time I was almost gay-bashed? It was only a few posts back.

And it supports my stance more than yours. They nearly bashed you because they thought you were gay, not because you were professing your undying love for a member of the opposite sex. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that once you cleared everything up, then all was forgiven, given that you were "almost" bashed and not actually bashed.
]
......What point is this countering? I never accused these boards or the "horrible heteros" (wtf?) here of bashing.

So as I said earlier, "Shut up and get back in the closet." Check.

So you're saying that people who are homosexual receive equal discrimination and ridicule as those you've listed here. My rebuttal: LOL.

Why should I have to hide it? I get the argument about not being obnoxious about one's sex life and other personal matters and don't disagree, but I, nor anyone else for that matter, shouldn't be forced into hiding to escape persecution and/or harassment.
Also, the idea that the mentally and physically handicapped receive just as much hate; again I say "LOL". To expand upon that: running with the assumption that they do, does that make it right? They, and the oft persecuted long-haired hippies, should just shut up and take it or shut up and hide it? Queen, please.

 

[Psychedeliasmith]

I find a lot of gay-bashing comes from the immature, and to call them out on using offensive terms doesn't really help, simply because they're - at the heated moment of yelling obscenity - worked up and intending to insult (or banter, if you're feeling generous). Dropping a 'you should be nicer' lecture on them at that point is only going to drive you slowly mad as they're hardly going to have an epiphany there and then. Arguably, insisting that people should stop using the word 'gay' as an insult (*especially* during an online fight) harms the acceptance movement more than it helps. If you can defuse it by turning it into humourous (and/or equally filthy) banter, earning their respect and friendship, you can do a lot more to change people's minds. But that does take time, and assumes that you're going to have more than one conversation with them. And also that you'd particularly want the respect of a homophobe. But that's the whole point - if you don't try, then who else will?

 

[Soulfein]

Why do people tease people? To illicit a reaction.

Gay people are an easy target because at least this group goes apeshit over nothing. They get picked on because its really easy.

 

[Caimekaze]

im comfortable around any sexuality. Hell I have lesbian and gay friends and Im a guy.

I'll one up you.
I'm bi, dating a lesbian. And I'm a guy.

Now that my brief bout of machoism is gone (thank goodness), my point:

I'm absurdly PC. The only time I use hate words are when I actually hate someone, and then I carefully think through my insults, and refrain from swearing or using general bigotry. An insult is always more effective when it's based on the person you're insulting.

But to insult someone not because of their behaviour but a personal choice they made is rather pathetic. But then, XBL. Most of the people on their are either 12 and trying to look cool or are just generally bigoted. And often frat boys.

Anyway, I'll write a better post when I get back from school. Toodles.

 

[perfectimo]

You know, for a long time I thought that I was homophobic. This somewhat upset me because I don't like to think of myself as a bigoted person.
Then, one day, I had an epiphany. I hate all people equally who make their sexuality my business for no reason at all, when I have neither asked, nor particularly want to hear about it.

my views exactly. besides people who insult anyone in games or in general must live a pretty sad life because they have to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good.

 

[Jenny Creed]

Fun fact that you're reading on the Internet so it must be true:
Of all the hate crime performed by various intolerant organizations throughout recorded history, violence against homosexuals have always been the most extreme, most vicious and most hateful. The Nazis may have killed a lot of Jews, for example, but they never went out of their way to inflict agony and humiliation on them as much as on homosexuals.

So they win the "Most persecuted minority" in that category, at least.

And yeah, from what I've seen it's completely out of hands in the gaming communities. I did an experiment in Starcraft where I remarked on any homophobic chatter, which typically went something like this:

Player X: lol valks r gay
Me: is there something wrong with being gay?
Player X: wtf ur gay

Followed two times out of five by players X, Y and occasionally Z teaming up to give me a good curb stomping. Which is really the most disturbing part. All considerations about playing the game became second to punish a complete stranger in any fashion at their disposal for being possibly homosexual.

 

[Orekoya]

An example? Easy, during an online voice chat, I could have my same-sex partner come into the room and talk over me calling me honey-bear or some such during a raid-boss fight. How many more you want?

Good point, I suppose that could happen, never personally seen it though and I'm pretty sure that's not a frequent occurrence for most people.

It can happen lots of ways really, even from ways of what the poster just beneath you said.

ok well first off im not a homophobe,i am not gay, but a very close freind of mine is and to be frank from day one after he outed himself id have to say every time we play a game i do slip in the word fag and other derogatory words for gays but its even funnier when he comes back with horrible names and cruel jokes for me and my heterosexuality and it goes back and forth till we both run out of insults

but long post short i call my freind fag and ect all the time is that a bad thing?*he really dosnt mind i asked him)

This was how I was outted to my guild, by a rl friend doing such during a raid. And that's what I how I usually respond in turn, saying stuff like 'Hope that stripper gives you nasal gonorrhea' and such.

I have a question though: I gave an example on how that information can get on the internet against someone's will, could I have a reason why this is acceptable behavior?

 

[Geoffrey42]

Thank you Jobz.
Thank you for actually reading the post, thinking about it, and understanding its meaning. Now can we all line up and follow his example, and not just fly off the handle at any comment that doesn't fully endorse people gobbing off about their sexual preference in public, be it gay, straight, or otherwise?

For the most part, I've interpreted none-to-few of the above posts as fully endorsing people gobbing off about their sexual preference in public. There's a general feeling from the opposition that you and others are spending too much time blaming the issue on a bogeyman (the public broadcast of personal preferences, which makes up very little of my personal experience with the issue) and ignoring the aspect of hate speech.

Sure, there's no effective way to deal with indirect hate speech on XBL short of more active moderation (are any of us really disappointed by any of the bans that have happened so far in this thread? I think the one may have been going for irony, but at least that was a temporary ban.). This does NOT mean that the problem lies with the people who take offense when their way of life is denigrated by others in a public forum. Was gaygamer.net "asking for it" by putting themselves on the internet?

Here's part of the problem: in public, in mixed company, we tend to keep our mouths shut. If you step into a crowded elevator with your buddy, you're probably going to keep your conversation PG. When we get into a game lobby, we're suddenly playing WITH those people, having a social experience with them. We probably just need to train ourselves to treat strangers on a game server just like strangers on a subway. Avoid eye contact, get where we're going, and keep our opinions to ourselves, even if we overhear something distasteful in their conversation. Sure, any kind of cooperative experience where you don't have enough friends to populate a team is ruined, but really, how much success have you ever had joining Big Team Battle all by yourself?

P.S. Maybe you shouldn't express your opinion about this sort of thing in a public forum if you don't want to get jumped all over for it by the PC police. Nobody asked for your opinion, so don't get yourself in such a fit over it.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

[unquote=Texian]I just registered to express my outrage and say LOL to any naysayers.[/quote]

Then you're just as bad as those who say "GAY!" to you.

 

[Texian]

I have a question though: I gave an example on how that information can get on the internet against someone's will, could I have a reason why this is acceptable behavior?

According to some folks in this thread, because they were "asking for it".

 

[Texian]

Then you're just as bad as those who say "GAY!" to you.

No. All I've done is dismantle (and lightly ridicule) flimsy arguments that seek to lay blame at those who are being hurt instead of those doing the hurting. And it's actually rather depressing how you and some others will stand steadfastly by the "they were asking for it" standpoint when you've got several people chiming in that the scenario of "the gay guy who talks about his sex life to strangers" is virtually nonexistent, and what's worse is that if it were existent, then he deserves to be treated with hate, vitriol and hostility.

 

[Texian]

...because god knows we can't go anywhere or do anything without hearing how the pantywaists are being 'oppressed'...

Thank you, sir, for proving my (and others') point more eloquently than I ever could.

 

[Imperator_2]

Enough already. I find myself agreeing with GnomeKing; You don't errantly proclaim in conversation about who you want to screw. It's like swearing in the middle of a polite conversation. Plus, chum-brained droolers will be chum-brained droolers. Don't expect everyone to be understanding. It's not realistic. Besides, whatever, happened to disdain or better yet, "Oh, did you learn that in school? I guess I'll have to shoot you for it!" BLAM! C'mon, surely you don't have a thin skin by now.
By the way Texian, why don't you have your boyfriend tone down the affection a bit, if only to blend in? Come on, in the middle of a ferocious online battle, is that really the place for sweetness?
Well, sorry if us breeders got your goat enough for you to register a bloody account.
Good day.