Geeky jokes
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3 statisticians went clay pigeon shooting together. the first statistician took his shot but the shot was 2 feet too far to the left. the second statistician took his shot and was 2 feet too far to the right. the third statistician said 'well done, you hit it'.
And those who don't know how to count. (Really geeky: 0 is a number, thus 0 is actually counted - work with array's some time, position 0 is the 1st position in the array - binary 00000010 is actually the 3rd number 00000000, 00000001, 00000010 etc.).Trumpkin said:There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
I don't get that maths joke at all!
Still, it's funnier if you don't say there are 1 kinds of people in the world, so we won't hold it against anyone.
A group of mathematitions are heading to london to go to a maths conferance and at the train station they meet up with a group of geographers also heading to a conferance. As they board the train the geographers notice that the group of mathematitions only has 1 ticket and they ask how they plan to not get caught when the ticket inspector comes.
'Dont worry we have methods for dealing with this' They reply.
When the ticket inspector comes all of the mathematitions pile into the toilet and as the ticket inspector goes past he knocks on the door, they slide the one ticket under the door. he stams it, and moves on.
Both groups go to there conferance and meet up again on the way back. The geographers decide to try the mathematitions idea and only buy 1 ticket betweent the group, however they notice that the mathematitions havent bought any tickets atall and when asked about how they plan to not get caught they simpley reply.
We have methods to deal with situations like these.
So they all board the train and when the ticket inspector starts to get close the geograhpers all pile into the toilet and slide the ticket under the door when they hear the knock. The mathematition who knocked on the door then takes the ticket and piles into the loos further down the train.
The geographers learnt a valuable lesson that day, dont use methods you dont fully understand.
And that joke was TOTALLY not worth all the typing and reading
'Dont worry we have methods for dealing with this' They reply.
When the ticket inspector comes all of the mathematitions pile into the toilet and as the ticket inspector goes past he knocks on the door, they slide the one ticket under the door. he stams it, and moves on.
Both groups go to there conferance and meet up again on the way back. The geographers decide to try the mathematitions idea and only buy 1 ticket betweent the group, however they notice that the mathematitions havent bought any tickets atall and when asked about how they plan to not get caught they simpley reply.
We have methods to deal with situations like these.
So they all board the train and when the ticket inspector starts to get close the geograhpers all pile into the toilet and slide the ticket under the door when they hear the knock. The mathematition who knocked on the door then takes the ticket and piles into the loos further down the train.
The geographers learnt a valuable lesson that day, dont use methods you dont fully understand.
And that joke was TOTALLY not worth all the typing and reading
A bar of gold walks into a bar.
The abrman shouts " 'Ay You! We don't serve your kind here"
Think about it..
The abrman shouts " 'Ay You! We don't serve your kind here"
Think about it..
some of those are actually alright, like the statician one, i chuckled
hmm
so there's an atom, and the electron's buzzing around, and the proton says to the neutron "wow, he's pretty fast"
and the neutron says "AAH! A TALKING PROTON"
...it was th ebest i could think of on short notice!
hmm
so there's an atom, and the electron's buzzing around, and the proton says to the neutron "wow, he's pretty fast"
and the neutron says "AAH! A TALKING PROTON"
...it was th ebest i could think of on short notice!
A Priest, a Shaman and a Rabbi walk into a bar. But there is no Rabbi and no Shaman and it?s actually my 8th birthday and the priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad and he?s not a priest??.WHY GOD
but for serious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DFTmBrMYPw
but for serious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DFTmBrMYPw
My calculus professor used to tell (rather lame) math jokes after class.
- e^x and a constant function were walking through the woods. All of a sudden the constant function panics and hides behind a tree. e^x asked what was the matter. The constant function said: 'I just saw a derivation ahead, if it derivates me I will be reduced to zero!'.
'Don't worry about it' said e^x, 'I'll go distract him so you can get past him unnoticed. He can derivate me all he wants, I will never change.'
So e^x walked towards the derivation and said 'Hello, I'm e^x.' The derivation replied: 'I'm the derivation to Y, pleased to meet you.'
- e^x and x² were walking through the forest when suddenly they ran into sin x. e^x saw her and said to x²: 'Wow, look at those curves!' But then he noticed that x² was gone and 2x had taken his place. 2x said: 'Sorry, I didn't see her, I was distracted for a second.'
This last one is only 'funny' if you know that derivation and distraction are the same word in Dutch.
- e^x and a constant function were walking through the woods. All of a sudden the constant function panics and hides behind a tree. e^x asked what was the matter. The constant function said: 'I just saw a derivation ahead, if it derivates me I will be reduced to zero!'.
'Don't worry about it' said e^x, 'I'll go distract him so you can get past him unnoticed. He can derivate me all he wants, I will never change.'
So e^x walked towards the derivation and said 'Hello, I'm e^x.' The derivation replied: 'I'm the derivation to Y, pleased to meet you.'
- e^x and x² were walking through the forest when suddenly they ran into sin x. e^x saw her and said to x²: 'Wow, look at those curves!' But then he noticed that x² was gone and 2x had taken his place. 2x said: 'Sorry, I didn't see her, I was distracted for a second.'
This last one is only 'funny' if you know that derivation and distraction are the same word in Dutch.
Watch episode 1 of series 1 of the IT crowd with 'l33t' subtitles on and you'll get plenty of them.
Most of the jokes everyone's come up with thus far are just scientifically accurate statements with forced laughter at the end (the bigger joke is that they are so outlandishly nerdy).
Most of the jokes everyone's come up with thus far are just scientifically accurate statements with forced laughter at the end (the bigger joke is that they are so outlandishly nerdy).
