Gentlemen, Is chivalry dead?

[The Salty Vulcan]

To quote Dave Chapelle:

"Chivalry is dead and Women killed it"

For the most part, I agree. When it comes to the ladies I am nothing but the proper gentleman. I open doors, I rise when they leave, I take my hat off when I'm in their presence, I say my please and thank yous and do I get any respect? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Doesn't deter me but it would be nice to have just a little appreciation.

 

[Painful illusion]

I dont believe Chivalry is dead per se..but more on the verge of extinction. There are less people willing to behave like gentleman and less parents are passing these values on to their son to keep the cycle going. Some women or even men may find it odd when one displays an ac of chivalry. For example, I used to have an girlfriend who wasn't used to chivalry at all so she was uncomfortable with me opening car doors, holding her books to class and many other acts of kindness. But I couldn't let that stop me and no one else should stop being chivalrous just because the worlds morals are slipping. Be the one that slows or even reverses the affect.

 

[Joshimodo]

It isn't in my presence.

 

[Hairetos]

I hope it's dead. I don't like treating any group better than anyone else, so...yeah.

The concept never went well with me.

 

[Serenegoose]

To quote Dave Chapelle:

"Chivalry is dead and Women killed it"

For the most part, I agree. When it comes to the ladies I am nothing but the proper gentleman. I open doors, I rise when they leave, I take my hat off when I'm in their presence, I say my please and thank yous and do I get any respect? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Doesn't deter me but it would be nice to have just a little appreciation.

If I met you, and always stood on one leg around you, would you show me appreciation or respect for my actions in your presence? To be completely honest, I think many women would find your actions around them just a little 'odd'. If someone always stood up when I went anywhere I'd wonder why they were doing it.

I mean, I'm not trying to be insulting here, just trying to illustrate how you might be perceived by others.

 

[Gutkrusha]

I have no idea, really. I've been insulted by women for opening the doors for them, as well as not opening the doors for them. Women also seem to get angry with me if I call them Ma'am. I don't know when that became an insult. I'm sorry ladies, but if you're a good 10 years older than me, I was brought up to call you Ma'am.

 

[bsga22]

I once had a lady stop and say "oh so just because i'm a woman you need to hold the door for me." she got me on a bad day because I turned and said "no I just didn't want people to think I would treat a ugly women poorly." But on a kick ass note a old lady gave me a dime (10 cents) for holding the door for her.

 

[neoontime]

I support feminism but I also consider myself a very chivalrized person. Yes, very civalrized indeed.

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

To quote Dave Chapelle:

"Chivalry is dead and Women killed it"

For the most part, I agree. When it comes to the ladies I am nothing but the proper gentleman. I open doors, I rise when they leave, I take my hat off when I'm in their presence, I say my please and thank yous and do I get any respect? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Doesn't deter me but it would be nice to have just a little appreciation.

If I met you, and always stood on one leg around you, would you show me appreciation or respect for my actions in your presence? To be completely honest, I think many women would find your actions around them just a little 'odd'. If someone always stood up when I went anywhere I'd wonder why they were doing it.

I mean, I'm not trying to be insulting here, just trying to illustrate how you might be perceived by others.

touche. Though I admit, that one is basically at dinner functions or dining. Still a thankyou when I hold the door open would be nice. And yes I would show respect if you stood on one leg, that shits hard for prolonged periods.

 

[Serenegoose]

touche. Though I admit, that one is basically at dinner functions or dining. Still a thankyou when I hold the door open would be nice. And yes I would show respect if you stood on one leg, that shits hard for prolonged periods.

Yeah, it was a bad example. If I even had the balance to stand on one leg for any time that'd be an achievement. I mean really, it'd pop up in the bottom right of my vision and everything. Course you would show respect then. WHO WOULDN'T?!

And I always thank people who hold doors for me. I dunno, maybe the circumstances differ? Like people who hold the door for me, they've just used it themselves, and instead of letting it slam shut on me, they just hold it open for a bit. It's a courtesy, it's nice of them, I thank them for it and return the favour should the situation be reversed. I think if some white knight was to charge up out of nowhere just to open the door my reaction would be more like....



...wat.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

It exists in proper tf2 servers these days, if you ask me.

Wearing 3 hats stacked on top of each other doesn't make you a gentleman. Nor is wearing a medal.

OT: Chivalry died forever ago indeed.

 

[IkeGreil29]

See, women sometimes act in irrational ways. You think that because you are treated differently, you are suddenly inferior? Holy shit.

And also, do you REALLY want to be treated like a man? Nipple twists, indian burns, insults, talking through your ass, and all that? Because several times that ens up in "men are disgusting idiots".

And to answer the "if it were a man", well, personally, I would consider his status first. If he was an old man, then hell, I'd offer him my seat if all others were occupied, I'd treat him with respect and help him in any other way. If he were crippled, then I would also be chivalrous. It doesn't mean they're inferior; they're just under different circumstances.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying a woman is comparable to an old man/woman or a cripple, but it's just being polite and I'm not going to push that woman into accepting it. 80% or more of the time that I offer my seat to a female of around my age, my offer gets turned down, and I just sit back down. I dun care if they melt for me afterwards or if they think I'm an ass, I'm just not built up to treat women as social equals. They don't even have to thank me, I know that when God or whatever high power judges us or even if there isn't an afterlife I will have done something good with my existence I can be proud of.

 

[Kortney]

My boyfriend has always opened car doors for me and held my hand as I walk up steps. Lots of it isn't needed, I mean I can walk up stairs without support just fine, but it's sweet and it makes me feel good. It shows he cares. I like chivalry.

I do think there's a tangible difference between doing it to make someone feel special, and doing it simply because of their gender. It might not be easy to codify, but it's definitely there.

I know you're right but even when it has happened to me just because of my gender I think it is nice. Last week a 90 year old man opened the door of a shop open for me and his arms were struggling. He wasn't even going into that shop, he saw I was and walked over. It was really touching I thought.

I don't see what's wrong with it.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

Im alive and kicking so fuck no its not dead. Im a firm believer in treating women with respect and holding them in high regard, and being kind to them but not letting them walk all over you. So yeah I do open doors and pull out chairs and if they're irritated and ask me to I'll stop

 

[Serenegoose]

My boyfriend has always opened car doors for me and held my hand as I walk up steps. Lots of it isn't needed, I mean I can walk up stairs without support just fine, but it's sweet and it makes me feel good. It shows he cares. I like chivalry.

I do think there's a tangible difference between doing it to make someone feel special, and doing it simply because of their gender. It might not be easy to codify, but it's definitely there.

I know you're right but even when it has happened to me just because of my gender I think it is nice. Last week a 90 year old man opened the door of a shop open for me and his arms were struggling. He wasn't even going into that shop, he saw I was and walked over. It was really touching I thought.

I don't see what's wrong with it.

Obviously, your perception of it is entirely up to you. How you go about your dealings with other people is entirely your concern, and I'd never presume to judge for it. I've had people make downright lewd comments at me, and I know that I -ought- to feel that it was utterly sexist (and I do feel that) but there's still a part of me that feels complimented by it. I'm not against 'chivalrous' behaviour, I think that considerate action is sweet. I just think that gender shouldn't be a factor in it. There's no good reason to me to withhold that kind of action to someone just because.

 

[smeghead25]

Chivalry isn't dead, just the number of guys being chivalrous has declined in equal proportion tothe number of girls becoming sluttier. Chivalry has also been beaten around a bit by 'equality'. You know, where women want us to treat them as equals and also do all that gentlemanly stuff for them. Because opening doors and standing for women and all that 'after you' nonsense really shows that neither gender must do anything that the other would not be likely to do for them.

In saying that, I still do it. Because as much as they like to say it, we are not and never will be equal. Women are always going to be more emotional and they're always going to respond better to chivalry, and men are always going to be stubborn tough guys who complain when they have the flu but grunt and shrug it off when they lose an arm. Heh. Shrug it off...

Erm, rant over? What I'm saying is chivalry isn't dead, just the need for it is decreasing. Sure it's nice to open a door for a woman. But mainly it's a subconscious thing that helps for people to bon and become better friends.

 

[Jacklin]

Dave Chappell explains it best

 

[Double A]

Women's equality can't exist with chivalry. Chivalry is basically the idea that women are weaker and need man's help to not die of stupidity.

 

[darkman80723]

yes its dead...women killed it

 

[00slash00]

After a frivolous joyride on the interweb, I came across this spiffing website, dedicated to the old-fashioned chaps, the gentlemen: http://thechap.net/ (please note that this website does nay have anything to do what Im asking here, its just a jumping off point.)

This very site got me thinking. Is chivalry dead? Are the values of the stereotypical gentleman unwanted in a society that demands complete equality between the sexes?

Now please, dont get me wrong. I have very liberal values, of course i support feminism, everyone's equal. But the thing is, I have noticed that the progression of women's rights, however righteous and good for our society it is, has "endangered" the gentleman.

My point is this: Can chivalry exist in a society where everyone is to be treated equally? I, for one, have more than once come across a situation where a lady has critisized my behaviour, saying that I think that "women cant take care of themselves." That's just not true! Also, just offering your coat to a freezing woman is more often than not considered weird, and the gentleman offering his jacket has been stared at, like he was doing something wrong.

So, calling all gentleman escapists, all you chaps, and also, or especially, all female escapists! Your view on this? (feel free to comment on the website here too, after checking it out.)

EDIT: The Poll seems to have failed. How quaint.

the thing with chivalry is, in modern society, it emerged from the idea that womyn are weaker than men and thus, need to be protected and are incapable of doing anything for themselves. theres no reason you cant hold open doors for men and womyn. if you saw a womin struggling to carry something and would help her with it, but wouldnt do the same if it was a man struggling to carry something, then thats sexist. get what i mean? equality does not mean chivalry has to die, but it means you cant be polite to JUST womyn.

I do propose this question, however. as a man, how would you feel if someone insisted on pulling out your chair and pushing it in for you, or tried to avoid profanity or offensive topics when you were nearby? im a guy and i would feel really awkward if someone was always trying to do stuff for me. personally, i would be fine with letting chivalry die. it doesnt really have much place in modern society. however, if one were to insist on keeping it alive, i think that chivalry such as holding open doors and things of that nature, that should be done regularly, for both sexes. something like that is just common courtesy. i dont think one person should pay for everything, and i dont think you should watch your language just because your around a womin (it should depend on the situation, not the persons gender). if people really want to pull out/push in chairs then i feel it should be a practice for special occasions only, and i think it should depend entirely on who gets there first. if you get there first you are no more obligated to pull out her chair, than she would be to pull out yours, if she had gotten there first.

this is my opinion, anyway