Gentlemen, Is chivalry dead?

[gamerguyal]

I've been called a gentlemen several times when I was just doing something because I felt it was the right thing to do. Apparently all it takes to be a gentleman this day is to be a good guy. I've been told that I'm just "being someone's *****" when I'm simply doing someone a favor or helping them out because guess what, that's what a decent person does. The only time I will go out of my way to treat a girl differently than a guy is if I'm into her/we're dating. It might still happen with a girl that's just a friend, but the difference is, in that case I'm not thinking about it, I just do it almost automatically, and it's usually something small.

 

[Hman121]

I believe that chivalry is not dead, but if it is considered dead by society, then I have no trouble living in the past. Anyways, it's basic manners.

 

[crazypsyko666]

No, no. Honor is dead. That's the real shame.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

SNIP

Good sir I couldn't agree more, I have a great deal of friends of the female nature and i've noticed none of them seem to accept any gentleman like behaviour I show without at least a verbal sparring match. For example if it is raining and I offer my coat to a friend she will inevitibly argue she does not need it, even though it is common knowlegde I like the rain and cold weather. Also when I attempt to purchase a hungry lady any food I am met with resistance, as if my generosity will leave them indebted to me, any attempt to explain this is simply a gift seems to pass right over them. I am baffled as to why all my lady friends seem to find my generosity strange and unfounded as if I do it only to recieve praise or leave them in some sort of debt to me. Indeed I have had to learn ways to make any lady friend accept my gifts, for example refusing to wear the coat myself if they do not. Although they begrudgingly accept it they seem thankfull afterwards, indeed they seem to appreciate the gentleman conduct until the situation arises again where inevitibly they will object to any kind of favors I may attempt to do for them. This reaction is most confusing, I enjoy looking out for my female friends. This harmless ettiquete does not leave me down by any large amount, I am surprised people are so reluctant to recieve gifts or any attempt to make their lives easier. It is only out of the fact I enjoy the company of my lady friends do I help them like this.

 

[Emperor Platypus]

I just brought a lady home because she was to drunk to do it herself.

Did I know her? Not really
Did I try anything with her? No
Will I be trying something with in the foreseeable future? and did I simply try to harvest some 'nice guy points' by doing this selfless deed? No

Does that make me a gentlemen? I dunno, I rather see myself as a nice guy.

 

[Tenlaius]

it isn't dead. it lives on barely..usually because it seems as of late, for me anyway, followings the gentlemen's code is a 99.9% chance way to 'Friends Only Lane'
but it is just manners, and despite what i'm told..i'z keep 'dem

 

[Madara XIII]

Hell to the Mudafuckin NO!!!!!!!

That stuff flows through my veins

 

[jboking]

Spoiler: It's not just dead, it's UNDEAD

were bringing it back from the grave​

Seriously though, Chivalry these days is just courteous behavior with no preference towards gender. It's not dead, it's just changed.

 

[haddaway234]

To quote Dave Chapelle "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it". IMO that is very true. Because first of all, women don't really care. Guys are dating and marrying women just fine and often women want to be with like "bad boys". Secondly, honestly if you tried to be chivalrous people would think you were really corny and lame.

Seriously, next time your with a girl and walking somewhere after it rained, throw your jacket on to a puddle in front of her and we'll see if she thinks your a gentlemen or just stupid.

 

[imnot]

Yes, yes it is, just sit on the bus and listen for a few minuites.

 

[Your once and future Fanboy]

yes it it, women killed it!

 

[zombiesinc]

My point is this: Can chivalry exist in a society where everyone is to be treated equally? I, for one, have more than once come across a situation where a lady has critisized my behaviour, saying that I think that "women cant take care of themselves." That's just not true! Also, just offering your coat to a freezing woman is more often than not considered weird, and the gentleman offering his jacket has been stared at, like he was doing something wrong.

Pfft, I have never understood that. If I were to open the same door for my girlfriend, she wouldn't criticize me, what... simply because I'm also a female? Honestly, if someone is going to criticize you for being considerate, or using your manners, instead of appreciating the gesture, their loss. They're not worth the effort anyways.

Manners are manners, and if someone doesn't appreciate them, they don't deserve them, simple as that.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

i say political correctness be damned, if i see a lady walking towards a door i am near i will open it, i will also share my umbrella's coverage with any unfortunate gal who happens to be without in the rain. chivalry is not dead within me, as I believe that it's not about equality, but about the quality of character in the man in question.

after all equality works differently than most would like, women have stronger traits in some areas generally than men and men have stronger traits in different areas... by exerting our physical size/strength advantage that we are genetically granted as a show of appreciation and or endearment or just plain kindness should not be put into a questionable light.

/end rant

 

[AwesomeExpress]

There was this one time when I was taking the bus, and this girl was at the stop as well, when the bus came she gestured for myself to enter the bus before her, but of course, I being a gentleman, gestured for her to get on before myself. She rolled her eyes at me and then got on, thankfully. And this is not the first time this girl has done this to me, even though every time (so far) my gentlemanly ways get the better of her every time. God help me but women can be a little off the rocker sometimes.

 

[rockera]

Its the whole question of is it sexist or is it just good manners.

Its good manners, you should be polite to everyone you meet not just women. Remeber Chivalry was between men aswell and I dont mean holding doors for them it ranged from combat to social interactions.

it's a bromance sir

OP: No it's not dead I try to be chivalrous and I'm 14 but I guess it's not sexism if the woman likes it, that came out as a sex joke my bad.

 

[rockera]

Spoiler: It's not just dead, it's UNDEAD

were bringing it back from the grave​

Seriously though, Chivalry these days is just courteous behavior with no preference towards gender. It's not dead, it's just changed.

dude you almost made me wet myself with laughter, I've even seen that cyanide and happiness before. I'm off to change my underwear thanks a lot!

 

[DonMartin]

I suppose chivalry is about politeness. Not only towards women, but among men, too. That's why I hate to see it become something sexist.

Also, women are quite possibly the most beautiful beings on this planet. Of course Im going to be as polite as I can towards something of such wondrous beauty.

And if someone for one or another reason does not like me opening doors and the like, I will either have to remind them that I do this for everyone. And if they think Im being sexist, I'll just have to respect that and give them no special treatment whatsoever. In the good spirit of chivalry, of course.

 

[Maze1125]

There's a simple rule to chivalry. When you're doing something that would stereotypically be called "Gentlemanly" ask yourself this: "Would I be doing the same if the person in question was a man?"

If the answer is yes, you're fine.
If the answer is no, you're being sexist.

I love and respect woman, however I believe them to be above us lowely men,

In other words, you're a complete and total sexist.

Generally chivalry is between a man (AKA the Gentleman) and a lady.
Chivalry between men is...something else.
I don't quite know the right word for it.

That's precisely the point feminists make.

The issue here is that idea that men should be chivalrous towards women. There's no reason for that distinction.

Rather than just opening doors for women, open them for everyone.

If you do a courteous action only because the person in question is female, and wouldn't do it if they were male, then you're being sexist.

 

[Maze1125]

There was this one time when I was taking the bus, and this girl was at the stop as well, when the bus came she gestured for myself to enter the bus before her, but of course, I being a gentleman, gestured for her to get on before myself. She rolled her eyes at me and then got on, thankfully. And this is not the first time this girl has done this to me, even though every time (so far) my gentlemanly ways get the better of her every time. God help me but women can be a little off the rocker sometimes.

So, a woman made a courteous gesture to you and you turned it down just because she was female and you wanted to be a "gentleman"?
Sounds pretty sexist to me.

 

[WolfThomas]

To quote torchwood:
?You expect chivalry and equality??
?I don?t see why they should be mutually exclusive.?

I personally don't think chivalry is dead, however I think many people have a different concept of chivalry, a lot of people think just because they act nicely and "gentlemanly" they deserve the reward a.k.a. the woman. This I disagree with, chivalry should be about being polite, helpful and "gentlemanly" for it's sake alone, if you are rewarded that's fine, but one shouldn't give up if it's thankless/rewardless.

For example tonight I left a nightclub early to walk a female friend back home (I live in the same building). It's a pretty decent walk through some dark streets so I escorted her not out of any ulterior motive or expectation simply because I didn't want her to get accosted by ruffians. She has a boyfriend, but even if she didn't the reason I did it remained the same.