Getting Furious Over "Girlfriend Mode"

[zerragonoss]

Just like to add another completely agree with this article and, think it applies to a lot more than just videogames in modern culture.
Oh and stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason is not an argument, they are self reinforcing and it leads to a chicken or the egg type problem. We would have no idea of if they are innately true after even only a few generations of being sprouted.

 

[Dennis Scimeca]

Are you saying that people who find the 'girlfriend mode' name irksome should just shut up and say nothing, because I'm not seeing how J Random Player is going to engage with a developer anyway. I don't even care to do that, I want to engage with the industry so they understand that if one of their dudes says something ill advised to PR then the community and media will let them know in no uncertain terms.

The writer should sit down and think hard about why he's telling people to suck it up and say nothing, not even a polite explanation of how it made them feel.

You have missed the point entirely, if you're approaching this discussion with me from that sort of black and white perspective.

To the OP: No, ~explaining~ the situation in soft voices and a demure tone lest we startle that poor, poor innocent man would not have made any difference. Why? Because you, dear OP, and the majority of your male colleagues would STILL have found reasons to tell us that this is not as bad as we are making it out to be. That we should just chill and enjoy the game. That he didn't MEAN it that way. etc.

It's the same every time.

You may want to take a look through my body of work and see all the writing I've done on feminist issues. It's generally not wise to assume that all men are on one side of this debate.

And, like the poster above, if the words "soft voices and demure tone" enter this conversation, or if you suggest that my column could in any way be interpreted as "just chill out and enjoy the game," you've also missed the point, in spectacular fashion.

 

[Furrama]

I must say, just now hearing about this, I am offended. Some might have taken it too far certainly, someone always does, but to call something "girlfriend mode" implies a lot of things, and none of them flattering. He deserves to be called out for saying something like that.

Change this to an issue of race and maybe you'll see the problem, if you don't already. Call the new player mode " black guy mode" and see how offensive this sounds. It implies that they are inherently bad at something as a group of human beings, and those who are in that group know for themselves that it isn't true. Some girls are bad at games, some are really good at them. Don't stereotype. Heck, calling a mode "level Asian" is rather offensive as well, as I've heard many many times from those of Asian decent.

It used to be that no one would bat an eye if someone said something like this. I'm encouraged that there are people willing to say anything at all to try and put a stop to it. Hopefully gaming will grow up and get away from the "girls have cooties" thing eventually.

 

[Monsterfurby]

Usually, I notice a controversy before I am told it exists. This one must either have been a complete non-issue or gone above my head. Regardless, people need to develop a sense of humour.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Getting Furious Over "Girlfriend Mode"

It?s worth pausing to consider what we?re after before we react.

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I think that you are kind of making excuses for inappropriate and sexist behavior here.

We should react like this whenever someone says something this stupid. Otherwise everyone will think it's okay. I'm pretty sure if these men had made casually racist comments you wouldn't rush to their defense and say people are overreacting.

 

[PunkRex]

Wow, people actually got annoyed at that 'Girlfriend' comment? That seems... really petty. He didn't seem to suggest any sort of hate/sterotyping with the term (besides from a character who helped you out automatically implied he/she wanted a relationship), not to mention the term was directed at a female character who would be your girlfriend regardless of what you were if you were indeed dating said character.

The dick sucking thing though... that was abit much, and thats just by profesional standards let alone by the standards of those listening.

 

[BENZOOKA]

Political correctness gone fucking mad.

 

[PunkRex]

What if that girlfriend mode is absolutely spot on the truth - that out of the small percentage of girlfriends who will play Borderlands2 with their boyfriend, will absolutely suck at it - to the point of ruining said boyfriends game. I think it's an awesome idea, and call it Girlfriend Mode, and if any women are offended, well buy them 50 shades and a bottle of wine, and that will shut them up, leaving you to enjoy your game in peace.

Firstly, if my boyfriend bought me 50 Shades of Grey, I would smack him in the head with it and then proceed to break up with him because obviously he doesn't know me well enough if he thinks I would be into that crap.

Secondly, I actually really enjoy shooters like Halo, Saints Row, and Resident Evil even if I am kind of sucky at them. I would really like this new mode so I can play. However, I believe that most girlfriends of gamers also enjoy games and many of them would be good at this so calling it girlfriend mode is a bit silly. I don't think he meant anything by it though. I think he was just looking at it from his point of view and wasn't looking at the larger picture.

That's offensive. Why is it okay to talk about smacking a boyfriend but calling a tree girlfriend mode is silly? Maybe you're not looking at the big picture.

To suggest all women would read 50 shades of Grey and enjoy it... thats a paddling and thats coming from a dude.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Political correctness gone fucking mad.

Well as long as everything is catered to you I guess it's all okay.

They were basically saying all women who play games are idiots and only play because their boyfriend is playing.

That's bloody stupid.

 

[sneakypenguin]

His comments seemingly are "meh" you'd have to be looking to be offended really. Even BFF mode could be considered offensive if you looked hard enough(obviously implies a certain personality/group of ppl in a likely negative manner). I personally would follow what OPsaid and really give the dev the benefit of the doubt, all that needed to be said was really just someone to mention that the terminology used could be construed as sexist and I'm sure he wouldn't mention it again.


This is really much ado about nothing and only annoys those that arent on the feminist bandwagon. If the chorus section chimes with all their fury and rage for every little mistake eventually you just want them to shut up, so to speak. regardless of the truth in their claims.

 

[Kargathia]

I read this like three times to try find what to say, but all I can say is- I see your point, but I don't agree.

I would love to hear how we can approach conversations about sensitivity with developers without rustling their jimmies and invoking PC-panic, but I don't really think it's do-able.
First of all, I don't know any developers, so it's not like I can sit with them over coffee and explain that saying if you let a woman win your game she will reward you with oral sex is probably a stupid thing to say and why.
Second, I agree that anger is not exactly the right response, but a lot of us are angry. And for good reason. What happens with and to women in our community is not a secret, and it is not new. If I'm at a party where everyone keeps stepping on my foot, I'm not pissed off at why they're doing it, I just want them to get off my feet.
Third, I think, when you're in a boys-club such as gaming development, any critisism is likely to be brushed off as PC. Going too harsh will invoke screams of censorship, but a softly-softly approach risks being ignored altogether.

I wasn't particularly mad about this `Girlfriend mode` thing, just.... a bit fed up. A roll of the eyes moment and little more.
Personally, I think that not a lot will change until more developers actually start listening to female gamers, and perhaps that is why a lot of them are screaming. Because nobody is listening.

Disclaimer- I'm just sending my thoughts out. I don't mind if you disagree.

While you certainly have some very valid criticism, I'd like to point out that you seem to be thinking about changing public behaviour, while the article offers a strategy for changing private opinion.

As he also mentions would merely changing public behaviour by throwing a tantrum every time they act like a sexist douche possibly change their wording when giving interviews, but not their related actions (ie. inherent discrimination).

We don't really need developers to stop making sexist comments in interviews, we want them to change their thinking, and not develop games involving sexist stereotypes.

 

[Zydrate]

Secondly, I actually really enjoy shooters like Halo, Saints Row, and Resident Evil even if I am kind of sucky at them. I would really like this new mode so I can play. However, I believe that most girlfriends of gamers also enjoy games and many of them would be good at this so calling it girlfriend mode is a bit silly. I don't think he meant anything by it though. I think he was just looking at it from his point of view and wasn't looking at the larger picture.

For high schoolers, I would say that no, most gaming guys that have girlfriends do not have gaming girlfriends (let alone gaming girlfriends that play shooters). I have personal experience, at least, to lend support to this, as I had at least six girlfriends in high school and only one played games (but not shooters). After high school, I've had another 3 girlfriends, and again only one was a gamer (and liked shooters). Most of these girls were also the type that hung out with gamers and whose male friends were mostly gamers, as well.

I'm interested, now that a large number of adults play games, in how these stats would compare to the average adult gaming relationship. I admittedly have little experience in this field. I'd imagine, at the very least, that you'd be right in that far more adult gaming girlfriends are into shooters than teen gaming girlfriends.

But anyway, I'd agree that the developer seemed to only be saying it in respect to his personal life, in the way that a female marketer might make an off-hand reference to some new 'boyfriend mode' to some stereotypically-female activity or device.

Uh, personal experience doesn't really relate to millions of people for statistics. Especially when you consider the handful of girlfriends you've had.

I know you're not claiming that your experience equals LAW, but it does come across that way.

That's really the ingrained sexism at play. The whole, "How is it offensive if it's true?" argument. Hrrng.

All the same, for some reason this didn't really offend me. I'm not sure why, I guess it should have? Mostly because it's not actually called "Girlfriend Mode" in-game. Best Friends Forever? Fair enough.

 

[Vault101]

What if that girlfriend mode is absolutely spot on the truth - that out of the small percentage of girlfriends who will play Borderlands2 with their boyfriend, will absolutely suck at it - to the point of ruining said boyfriends game.

they arent calling it "girlfreind mode" theres no need to call it that..while its not "rage inducing" offensive..its still stupid enough to get eye's rolling

[quote/]I think it's an awesome idea, and call it Girlfriend Mode,[/quote]
no one is disputing the Idea behind the mode itself...just the naming and the implication of said naming..again, no need to call it "girlfrend mode"

[quote/]and if any women are offended, well buy them 50 shades and a bottle of wine, and that will shut them up, leaving you to enjoy your game in peace.[/quote]
are you fucking serious? that statement right there is actually more offensive than this whole "girlfreind mode" fiasco

I'd wager any girl who is going to get offended by this is not the kind of person to buy into horrible crap like 50 shades of grey....in fact I'd even go as far to say ALOT of women don't actually buy into 50 shades of grey and think its [i/]good[/i]..much like people in this demographic will talk about the "so bad its good" cheesy movies they love to watch...51% of people are not that fucking stupid

why is "liking stupid shit" implied to be a mostly female thing? ok sure alot of stuff targeted towards us is absolute shit, but men like their fair share of stupid shit too.

[quote/]Political correctness can drag all the fun out of just about anything - it's bad enough on YouTube, but Twitter is just an endless parade of bitter blow-hards... that's why I won't join twitter, too much competition [/quote]

Political correctness these days is just a card people pull to justify them saying stupid/bias things

seriously..if you feel the need to pull "political correctes" as some kind of point in your favour it does nothing good for you credibility or how much I'll buy into your argument

 

[Vault101]

That's not a sexist, tired stereotype, that is a fact. All gamer-girls I know don't play shooters. Those who do, may be good at them, I don't know because I have never seen one. But it is known that males have a better spacial sense than females on average.

special sense? what the fuck is that supposed to be?

if you play games regularly then shooters are not so "hard" as to need something like the "best friend mode" (which is what I think they are actually calling it) you may not be overly good at them but at least competent enough to get through

this "mode" was made for non-gamers

 

[Vault101]

I miss the days when people didnt whine over everything.

Political correctness gone fucking mad.

I hate to be "that person" but its all to easy to sit there and say "whats the problem bro?" when its not YOU who's the target of the latest controversy/PR blunder

[small/](target may not be the right word but I'm sure you get what I mean)[/small]

now granted I'm not all that fussed over "grilfreind" mode since that was never what they were calling it "in-game" and its just a dumb statement by some guy...and it is true that people can take certain facts and run with them

much like the Lara croft incident where it sounded like we were subjected to some brutal rape scene "Boys Don't Cry" style...which simply wasn't the case

 

[piinyouri]

People are actually freaking about this?
Really?
REALLY???

Spoiler: Brb

 

[seditary]

There is one thing in all this I am absolutely sure of.

No one is going to listen to 100+ people yelling at them.