Gift idea: Worst PC Game ever

[blackrave]

Bonus points for offensiveness.

Not quite Reverse-Castle Wolfenstein.

OMG, that music, that loading screens- obvious choice here :/

P.S. On the side note- if average hebrew soldier can withstand 2-3 grenades to the face, then they deserve to run the world
P.P.S. On the side note of the side note- anyone who can survive multiple grenade explosions deserves to run the world

 

[perkl]

Worst recent-ish PC game? Warfighter, Diablo 3 or one of those Ubi games you can't start because of the DRM. Can't go wrong with those.

 

[octafish]

I am shocked...shocked I say, that no-one has said Saints Row 2 yet! It should be a good game, it should be fun, instead it is a rancid piece of elephant seal dung dripping with failure...plus the cars are un-drivable.

 

[captaincabbage]

This thread can only be settled by one game, and that game is Country Justice: Revenge of the Rednecks.

I just love this review of it. The reviewer plays it so straight with such a deadpan delivery, it's just brilliant.

 

[Genocidicles]

Big Rigs, all I can say is Congratulations:

"You're Winner!"

I have to second this. It's laughably bad in every conceivable way. Aside from the ground (and even that is sketchy at best), there is no collision detection, resulting in the player being able to drive straight through buildings and trees, and sink straight through bridges.

The driving physics are the best part though. If you turn and reverse your speed builds up infinitely, resulting in FTL speeds:

 

[captaincabbage]

maybe you havent been online for a while or you would just go for farming simulator 2013
trust me, it is boring.

but it has co-op so you can dick around with your buddy

Not even kidding, my friends and I all got this out of a bargain bin as a joke and played it at a recent LAN party. It was the most fun we had all night, partially because we were screwing about, and partially because one of our friends went full-bore and made a massive farm.

It sure did piss him off when he came back from the bathroom to find a 1.2 kilometre long dick shape harvested into his wheat fields though.

Also my friend stole all his cows.

 

[Triangulon]

If a game's quality is defined by how enjoyable it is; the least fun I have had gaming was CoDBlOps.

 

[Wintermoot]

although I doubt anybody would be cruel enough to inflict this.

 

[Doom972]

People here seem to think that a game that's overhyped or has a zealous cult following is a bad game. That's as if he'll ask for the worst game for the Wii and he'll be offered the latest Zelda.
A really bad game from the last six years? I played some average ones and some interesting but buggy ones, but nothing truely bad, let alone the worst. Good luck.

 

[Jason Rayes]

Everyone knows my feelings on Ultima IX. You could try and trick him into thinking it was acclaimed, but that ruse wouldn't hold up long. Can't really be enjoyed even on an ironic level, so it might be a good candidate for punishing your friend.

I think you would actually have to be an Ultima fan to realise just how badly Ultima IX sucked. To the uninitiated it would just appear to be a rather dull action game. You need to know your Ultima for IX to really rip your heart out.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Big Rigs is a good choice, although it's kind of spot on in that it's notoriously awful, and it's awfulness is apparent straight from the onset, and it might be enjoyed in a "so awful it's hilarious" way.

I'd say this seems to be the OP's point. It's a case of "Happy additional year on this little blue planet, you fellow human being I have some respect for! Here's a deliberately horrendous piece of digital entertainment for you to pretend like you're a That Guy With The Glasses alumni while you're ironically playing it!"

Instead of, you know:

"HAHAHAHAHA, one more year 'till you DIE, you asswipe! Here's a piece of shit to make you feel miserable and further emphasize how likely you are to hate my guts! Because I hate YOU! Also, trololololol!"

However...

Oh my sweet baby Spaghetti Monster Chtulhu, that is the busiest and most horribly designed box art I've ever seen. This makes Cradle of Filth album covers look like exercises in minimalism. Seriously.

Feast your eyes on this shit:

Spoiler

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Go get him Deus Ex and see his reaction.

I would have said Half Life but ok.

OT: I'd say get him one of those simulators of a job like driving a bus or something like that but I don't really see the point of it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I think you would actually have to be an Ultima fan to realise just how badly Ultima IX sucked. To the uninitiated it would just appear to be a rather dull action game. You need to know your Ultima for IX to really rip your heart out.

You have to be an Ultima fan for it to cause spiritual pain, but the unbearable voice acting, terrible story telling, and almost unprecedented number of play stopping and plot breaking bugs qualifies it as a worst game of all time contender even without the betrayal of a 20 year legacy thrown in for good measure.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

I heard Revelations 2012 was bad (but something tells me that 75% of the people that say it is bad just base it off some Yahtzee-wannabe with a youtube channel and never have touched the game themselves).

I find anything by BioWare to be the most bland and boring thing ever, but apparently some people like it. FEAR 3 was horrible, too.

 

[kasperbbs]

I hear farming simulator 2013 is out. And if thats not his thing then get street cleaning simulator or something.

 

[Atmos Duality]

I hear farmville is a riveting game

Indeed. Indeed...though you can't "own" Farmville.
By its nature, Farmville owns YOU.

 

[Gabanuka]

Revelations 2012


A low quality Left 4 Dead clone.

Captcha: dead air (no, not weird at all...)

Low quality? More like no quality. It is so bad I couldn't even stand watching Jesse play it.

I know exactly how you feel. I love that man yet even he couldn't make that game bearable.


OT:Me and my friends used to gift each other Bad Rats when Steam games where unavoidable but to you I recommend either Revelations 2012 or Secret of the Magic Crystals.

If you feel like splashing out buy him The Sims 3 with ALL its expansions.