Hi, I'm a long time lurker, and only now decided to post.
This topic strikes close to home, because, you guessed it, I'm a gamer and I'm a girl too. I'm a huge gamer, in more sense than one (my Roleplaying games Collection STILL beats my computer games Collection).
And when I read the original post -- I felt ashamed. For being a girl. For being a gamer. And for being vocal, open and straightforward about it.
Suddenly, I had this urge to beg for forgiveness because, a few hours ago, I made a post on my Facebook ... about gaming.
I can see where the OP came from, but at the same time, I can see how, we, girls, are often our own worst enemies. We want to be equal to the boys, but we will sabotage each other, and cast the first stone.
Now, I don't want to accuse the OP of hating other girls or being "holier than though" -- I read some of her answers to other people's posts, and she seemed ready to listen and embrace other points of view. However, I will have to talk of my own experience -- and, at least in MY OWN experience? I'm yet to meet a male gamer who's bothered by a girl publicly proclaiming herself as a female gamer. Every time I heard complains about this "Girl Gamer Syndrome" it came from other female players, the infamous "Who do she thinks she is?"
Most guy gamers, I learned, usually fall into two categories upon learning you're a girl: either the "ZOMG SO COOL WANNA BE MY FRIEND NAO?! HERE HAVE A BAJILLION GOLD!" group, and the "Huh, good for you? As long as you can do your job in this team, you could be an alien and I wouldn't care?" Neither of them really cares that the girl mentions it - the first is too happy about the possibility that there is someone out there they might be able to game with AND smooch; and the others just simply don't care. It makes no difference to them as long as they can play the game or talk about the topic in an informed and intelligent way.
And curiously enough (and this keeps my faith in mankind) the first group is SO much rarer than the second. Sure, as a confessed girl gamer for several years now, I had a handful of guys who immediately wanted to team with me in game (and I suspect it was because they realized I was female). But the vast majority is simply absolutely neutral about it. Some of them were interested on how a girl starts to game, but most of the times, I was just "another gamer."
I have heard, nonetheless, the complaints that "girls who speak up about their gender are just craving attention" -- and more often than not (and quite surprisingly), come from other girls. Of course, not to say there aren't attention whores - sure there are, tons of them. But then again, so are MALE attention whores, showing off their expensive computer, or their stats in game, or how he pwned you 32456 times in a row.
I read the original post a mere hours after posting in my Facebook a game-related comment. Why? Because I'm a gamer and that's my Facebook. But, for the first time in my life, I felt the need to apologize for proudly proclaiming that I'm a gamer. I paused and wondered "Am I an attention-whore and never noticed it"? And I didn't like it one bit. I know, I know "if the shoe fits..."
But ultimately, I don't think that's it -- I surely do not do it to be showered with gifts or attention. I declare myself to be a girl, because I am one and I'm a gamer. Sure, it's not important for other people to know I'm one, but I will mention it in passage if the topic arises (the same way I'll mention, oh, that some times I have trouble with the English language because I'm not a native speaker). More, I think that revealing myself as a girl shows that we're finally getting rid of the stigma that games are just for boys and if you're a girl and rather spend your allowance on games instead of clothes, you're a weirdo (yeah, I heard that one growing up a lot, even from my own family). I finally have the courage to say "Yeah, I'm a gamer--what of it?"
So girls are coming out of the "gaming" closet, slowly. Some want attention, some want to show they're not afraid of who they are, some don't want anything and just say it naturally. I'm sure there are some bad apples, true among the gamers, but it's a condition connected to being human, rather than being "female". And sure, if they go immediately "I'm a girl, gimme loot", you should dutifully laugh in her face. But I find this point of view of claiming "If this girl posts on her Facebook "I AM GAMER, HEAR ME ROAR", she's just doing it for the attention". Or "anyone that goes "Hey, I really like this game, and that's saying a lot since I'm female" is just trying to feel a speshul snowflake" is not a very positive attitude. Admittedly, I don't like feeling ashamed of being who I am (ie girl AND gamer), so maybe I am a tad grumpy, and firing in all directions. And again, I'm not accusing the OP of this -- this shame came solely and exclusively from my little dark heart who still (secretly) hears those faded echoes of "girls don't play computer\P&P games".
I could continue to rant on length here, but I don't want to overstay my welcome.
I just would like to say the following: no girl (gamer or otherwise) I know would immediately write off the majority of male gamers as assholes and sociopaths because a couple of them were jerks to her.
Likewise, I don't think we should immediately label any girl gamer as "attention whore" because they are revealing their gender. Judge them by their following attitudes ("WHY AREN'T YOU WORSHIPPING ME?" or "I need 100 gold to get a new dress for my night elf." *hint hint nudge nudge*) not seemingly neutral information.
Thank you for reading!
*steps down from soap box*
