Girl Magnets

[staika]

Who needs girls anyway right, Dammit if they can't see the charm we have then who needs them.
<== Sitting alone right now.

OT: Some guys get a lot of girls because.......... wait why do they? I guess girls just gravitate to those people for some reason I don't know of. I have learned one trick though if you look like you have no confidence then girls won't want to date you but if you look confident they still don't want to date you..... I mean you have a better chance of getting a date. Take it from me I've sat alone so many times in my life that I couldn't count the number.

 

[Cowabungaa]

You seem desperate. I think women can see that. Or smell it.

I figured as much for myself. I usually have a sunny enough disposition, I take care of my phyiscal looks and usually am self-confident enough I think. Yet I seem to have some kind of girl repellent, even before they can find out what kind of hobbies and interests I am.

But honestly, I don't know how to be not desperate. I really try not to be, but I just can't suppress that yearning for love, companionship and warmth that having a good relationship brings.

 

[valkeminator]

Do not be desperate, be charismatic, use your wits and impress.

Although I have to say from my experience, the world you believe in is the one you will live in, and what will you build towards...

Just take it easy

 

[Dastardly]

snip

Realistic possible answers?

1. He probably already knew them, and this was not some random fly-by.
2. He might be gay. Seriously, gay guys are big stuff with girls in college.
3. Shallow girls love guys with money, or the appearance of money. Sad, but hard fact.

Now, that concludes the list about them.

4. Even from your post, you're demonstrating a fairly aggressive desperation.
5. Also, you're too sensitive to what others think about you (or don't).
6. Part of your problem is you were sitting there watching this all happen, apparently to the degree that you even know this other guy is a sophomore. You're watching life happen, and using that data to find excuses for why it's not happening to you. It's not happening because you're watching someone else's life.

Please don't think I'm trying to insult you, or that I think anything ill of you. I completely sympathize, having gone through it myself in college. That's why I'm telling you the things I wish someone had told me then.

Some of it, I discovered on my own sophomore year -- I found what worked for me, and I started using it to my advantage. I was the smart, entertaining, understanding guy. I wasn't the "alpha male" of the group, but I was a strong "supporting character" you could say. So I patrolled the fringes, played to my strengths, and broke out of my self-imposed isolation.

You know what? After awhile, I didn't like who I'd become. I was doing my thing, but for his reasons--"him" being that guy I wanted to be like, y'know, the one with all the girls. I ended up hurting some people, because I wanted to win the game. I'd forgotten that the "NPCs" in this game I'd been beating were other people. And that's what the problem was all along.

It's not a game to win or lose. They're people. And you're a person, too. Focus on finding out what kind of person you are, and then be that person. They're out there right now, doing the exact same. Some are further along than you, and others just seem like it. Find out what makes you work, instead of just watching other people find what works for them.

 

[HardkorSB]

So perhaps today was just out to get me, but damn I hate days like today. When everything seems to just exist to remind me what a sad lonely loser I am.

So after being mildly insulted in class by a female I had liked, watching everyone and their girlfriend/boyfriend out enjoying the nice day, and having to sit behind a group of women in another class discussing whats "wrong with those guys who play games" and "watch those weird Asian cartoons", I had the pleasure of having to watch some random sophomore (I'm in college) get to sit and eat dinner with no less than 6 different fairly attractive women who came up to him to sit with him. While I sat by myself for the 4 year in a row. And then watch as no less than three of them were almost sitting on him within 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I was just a bit irked. I mean, really, how the fuck can people be so lucky? I mean, did I just get shafted in that department? Here I am, can barely get the time of day from women and people like him have women basically throwing themselves at them.

I mean, I could accept that, yes, fine, some guys through no fault of their just will never have any luck finding women. But does life really need to remind them that they suck and that they've failed at something like that at almost every opportunity?

1. Lose the "I'm worthless" attitude, it won't help you
2. Instead of "sitting alone 4th year in a row", try to actually socialize with other people. Sure, they may laugh at you and tell you to fuck off but there are 7 billion people in the world so who gives a fuck if 5-6 of them won't like you?
3. Talk to girls - you won't know what is it that they're looking for if you won't talk to them (plus, you'll get more experienced at talking to them with each next try, you'll learn patterns in their behaviour, after a while you'll know what to say before the conversation starts)
4. Be confident in yourself - how can girls like you if you don't even like yourself?

That's all I can think of at the moment.

 

[Paragon Fury]

I think I should probably clear a few things up here.

1: I liked the women before I found out that they were anime/game hating asses. I no longer like them, even if I find them physically attractive.

2: Up here at college, the ratio of men to women is 7:1.

3: Its kind of hard to hide the fact that I'm a nerd. I mean, hell, I have a Kiskae Urahara hat and my room has a poster of Major Kusanagi and my new Gears of War 3 poster as its only decorations. (Soon to be joined by the GoW3 Epic Edition swag though)

4: I guess I might seem desperate, but I spend most of my time by myself, so I'm not sure where they'd get that impression from.

 

[Wait...What]

Do you look like an anime nerd? Alternatively, are you an uninteresting person or appear uninviting to strangers? Women are people with their own opinions, not pieces of metal. If you're not an interesting person or aren't outgoing enough to make friends, you are unlikely to get attention from other people.

Change yourself, it's more productive than complaining about why other people aren't doing what you want.

This. The type of girls you're talking about generally don't like the same things you do (from how you described it) so you have 2 choices. 1) Change yourself to become more attractive to these sorts of girls. Gym is usually a good place to start. I bulked up when i started playing Lacrosse and sure enough after a few months at the gym the sorts of girls you talk about started talking to me and showing interest....its awesome .

2) Try and find girls who share your interests. No point trying to be with a girl who doesn't like the same things you do.

Stop bitching and do something about it.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Hmm, I've been single all of my life and most people who aren't familiar with me tend to try and avoid me.

Of course it's mostly intentional, I tend to keep a neutral expression that's usually makes me seem like an unhappy bastard who doesn't know how to have fun. I guess I have confidence, I do know my limits, I just get by on "oh well, I don't really care enough to try"

>.<" Though I will admit I probably do need to get laid. o well, it's on the to do list?

 

[archvile93]

Just do what I do, remind yourself that relationships are a complete waste of time and resources that provide you with no worthwhile benifit of any kind. Granted I realized that before I even started considering talking to girls so I've never been crushed by getting shot down, but I still think it'll work for you.

 

[Samurai Silhouette]

If you're scared to talk to a girl, that's what happens. Develop some charisma because they're not going to come to you. But don't stalk. So what if you embarrass yourself? So what if one, or two, or five don't care to talk to you? If you aren't getting any, what have you got to lose?

 

[Zenn3k]

So perhaps today was just out to get me, but damn I hate days like today. When everything seems to just exist to remind me what a sad lonely loser I am.

So after being mildly insulted in class by a female I had liked, watching everyone and their girlfriend/boyfriend out enjoying the nice day, and having to sit behind a group of women in another class discussing whats "wrong with those guys who play games" and "watch those weird Asian cartoons", I had the pleasure of having to watch some random sophomore (I'm in college) get to sit and eat dinner with no less than 6 different fairly attractive women who came up to him to sit with him. While I sat by myself for the 4 year in a row. And then watch as no less than three of them were almost sitting on him within 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I was just a bit irked. I mean, really, how the fuck can people be so lucky? I mean, did I just get shafted in that department? Here I am, can barely get the time of day from women and people like him have women basically throwing themselves at them.

I mean, I could accept that, yes, fine, some guys through no fault of their just will never have any luck finding women. But does life really need to remind them that they suck and that they've failed at something like that at almost every opportunity?

Betcha one of those girls is a close personal friend.

The one thing that attracts women to a guy is competition, women are INCREDIBLY competitive with one another, especially in the college years age group.

All you'd need to do is get 1 girl, who you're friends with to sit with you, this will draw the attention of the other females to think "hmm, why is she sitting with him? he must have something to offer! My vagina is wet...again"

Although it may be a bit late for you do pull this off, being a senior, works best if you're a freshman, and the lady friend you have is attractive (and by attractive, I mean other girls look at her and hate her because of how nice she looks).

So, as I said at the start, one of those ladies is probably his cousin or close personal friend...and its HER that brings the other girls to him, just by being there.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

So perhaps today was just out to get me, but damn I hate days like today. When everything seems to just exist to remind me what a sad lonely loser I am.

So after being mildly insulted in class by a female I had liked, watching everyone and their girlfriend/boyfriend out enjoying the nice day, and having to sit behind a group of women in another class discussing whats "wrong with those guys who play games" and "watch those weird Asian cartoons", I had the pleasure of having to watch some random sophomore (I'm in college) get to sit and eat dinner with no less than 6 different fairly attractive women who came up to him to sit with him. While I sat by myself for the 4 year in a row. And then watch as no less than three of them were almost sitting on him within 5 minutes.

Needless to say, I was just a bit irked. I mean, really, how the fuck can people be so lucky? I mean, did I just get shafted in that department? Here I am, can barely get the time of day from women and people like him have women basically throwing themselves at them.

I mean, I could accept that, yes, fine, some guys through no fault of their just will never have any luck finding women. But does life really need to remind them that they suck and that they've failed at something like that at almost every opportunity?

It is less a question of how attractive you are (although it helps), or how fit you are (although it helps), or how wealthy you are (although it helps) when it comes to attracting women...or anyone, for that matter. Yes, being a handsome, wealthy douchebag might attract a certain type of woman...one that is probably perfectly aware of what a douchebag you are and considers it an acceptable loss. But chalking it all up to genetics or "those crazy girls and their crazy preferences" is defeatist and ridiculous. You need to make yourself someone who is fun and/or interesting to spend time with. You might think you are, already, because you enjoy your own company. But if you're sad and lonely and bereft of friends and romantic companionship, odds are there is work to do.

People...women included...like to spend time around people who make them feel good about themselves. Whether that's because you share their interests, or treat them well, or just radiate positive energy. And note that "treating them well" doesn't necessarily mean courting them, which can seem like kindness but often comes off like pressure.

Consider your sad sack OP.

"Today was out to get me"
"Damn I hate today"
"What a sad, lonely loser I am"
"Insulted by a female I HAD liked"
"How can people be so lucky"
"How can I be so shafted"
"Sucked, failed, etc"

Look, Eyeore. I know this sort of thing can be depressing, but you need to step up and stop wallowing in this loathsome miasma of self pity. It is not becoming. It is not attractive. It makes you bitter, obnoxious, and self-obsessed. It makes you a miserable, draining person to spend time with, not the tragic romantic figure you likely imagine yourself as. While you're working on ditching the "woe is me" crap, also consider ditching the low level misogyny. It's not as subtle as you think it is, women will pick up on it, and it won't shame them into liking you more.

There are girls that enjoy anime and gaming. I should know, I'm dating one. They're not that rare, especially in your generation. They probably won't want to spend any time with you either, though, with you acting like this.

So...really...do you want a girlfriend? More friends? Less lonely? Clean up your act. Be the kind of person you'd want to spend time with. Don't make your hobbies the entirety of who you are. Take an interest in the rest of the world. If you don't want to excel at sports or business, excel at intellectual pursuits. Be well spoken. Be INTERESTING. Talk about things that other people like as well as the things you like, and let them talk, too. Learn to listen. Take a genuine interest in who other people are...their hobbies, their personality. Compliment them...not because you want to wheedle them into a relationship, but because you want them to feel good about themselves. Be funny. Be positive. Be confident, but be humble. Be generous. And you know what? You could be the ugliest nerd in school, and you'd have plenty of people more than willing to date/spend time with you.

 

[Popadoo]

Magnets are metal, metal is mined from the earth, sometimes there's still some gravity from the earth in the metal and that's how a magnet works

I'm blown away by your intelligence. It might be a more complex than that, and hell, there might be an explanation for magnetism that makes sense, but you sir are amazing.

OT: Think about it this way, the girls zorg-rushing that guy are probably the stereotypical idiot girl who spend more time on Facebook or BBM than actually contributing to society. Do you really want to go out with an idiot like that? Or do you want to wait for the perfect girl who you can talk about Warhammer with?



...you probably don't play Starcraft OR Warhammer, but you catch my drift.

 

[Phasmal]

snip

Lose the self-pity, look for girls with the same interests, dont get bitter when rejected.
And for god's sake dont call women `females`. I cant be the only woman squicked out by that.

 

[EeveeElectro]

They aren't your type then, are they?
I know in school (from what it seemed at my school anyway) guys want the best looking girlfriends. I don't want to seem mean, but I wouldn't punch above your weight. Heck, I didn't get into my first serious relationship until I left school.
"Geeks" just aren't popular with those sort of girls, although apparently geek chic is in, they wouldn't touch real nerds with a bargepole.
There will be girls who appreciate you the way you are and I honestly wouldn't worry about being a "chick magnet."

I don't have a 'friendly aura' so I was quite lonely in school too. Some people are just like that. I hope you have a few friends though; if not, I'd find some buddies and go from there.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Dude, I feel your pain. Esp. when it seems like all the guys who have women falling all over them are real dicks too.

 

[Bloedhoest]

Ever tried to sit next to the silent nerdie looking girl that always eats alone?

 

[Dusty Fred]

My theory: pheromone deficiency. That's one of the more scientific reasons I've come up with to explain my own 100% non-success rate. You're more than welcome to make use of it.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Lucky? Getting dumb asses is not luck.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Ever tried to sit next to the silent nerdie looking girl that always eats alone?

They don't exist here. If they do, they get devoured because of the 7:1 guy/girl ratio here.