Girlfriend and her close Guy Friend.

[ShipofFools]

Look, this is just me, but I have a close friend, who happens to be a woman, and in a relationship, and yet we cuddle, hold hands, all that stuff.
And until I read this thread I had no idea so many people see something wrong with that.

It's not like I plan on stealing her or anything, we're just good mates.

I have never had a guy cuddle with me without him getting an erection.
So you are saying you have never had sexual thoughts about her? What if she were single and not in a relationship?

Well, I'm going to be completely honest here.
Sometimes, yes, I do get an erection or at least some movement when we cuddle. I try to avoid thinking sexually about her, and avoid looking at her fun parts, instead focussing on her face. Much better for my mind, much better for her, too.

If she were single things would be different, we have talked about this and it would have been different for the both of us.
But that's okay, really. She's just... such good company, and a good friend. I would never hurt or cheat her in such a way.

EDIT: actually I'm glad you asked, Lil' Devils, this has been weighing on my mind for quite some time and it feels good to talk with other people about it.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Look, this is just me, but I have a close friend, who happens to be a woman, and in a relationship, and yet we cuddle, hold hands, all that stuff.
And until I read this thread I had no idea so many people see something wrong with that.

It's not like I plan on stealing her or anything, we're just good mates.

I have never had a guy cuddle with me without him getting an erection.
So you are saying you have never had sexual thoughts about her? What if she were single and not in a relationship?

Well, I'm going to be completely honest here.
Sometimes, yes, I do get an erection or at least some movement when we cuddle. I try to avoid thinking sexually about her, and avoid looking at her fun parts, instead focussing on her face. Much better for my mind, much better for her, too.

If she were single things would be different, we have talked about this and it would have been different for the both of us.
But that's okay, really. She's just... such good company, and a good friend. I would never hurt or cheat her in such a way.

EDIT: actually I'm glad you asked, Lil' Devils, this has been weighing on my mind for quite some time and it feels good to talk with other people about it.

Well that is the truth of it. Cuddling isn't really helping the situation. It appears you guys have feelings for each other, and it is wronging your friend/ her boyfriend for you to be cuddling with her when these feelings exist if you value his friendship, and respect him as a person. It is " between a rock and a hard place". You don't want to cut off seeing her, because you value her. However, it is a situation that requires distance for it to truly be resolved. Situations like that really are not fair to everyone involved.

 

[ShipofFools]

Look, this is just me, but I have a close friend, who happens to be a woman, and in a relationship, and yet we cuddle, hold hands, all that stuff.
And until I read this thread I had no idea so many people see something wrong with that.

It's not like I plan on stealing her or anything, we're just good mates.

I have never had a guy cuddle with me without him getting an erection.
So you are saying you have never had sexual thoughts about her? What if she were single and not in a relationship?

Well, I'm going to be completely honest here.
Sometimes, yes, I do get an erection or at least some movement when we cuddle. I try to avoid thinking sexually about her, and avoid looking at her fun parts, instead focussing on her face. Much better for my mind, much better for her, too.

If she were single things would be different, we have talked about this and it would have been different for the both of us.
But that's okay, really. She's just... such good company, and a good friend. I would never hurt or cheat her in such a way.

EDIT: actually I'm glad you asked, Lil' Devils, this has been weighing on my mind for quite some time and it feels good to talk with other people about it.

Well that is the truth of it. Cuddling isn't really helping the situation. It appears you guys have feelings for each other, and it is wronging your friend/ her boyfriend for you to be cuddling with her when these feelings exist if you value his friendship, and respect him as a person. It is " between a rock and a hard place". You don't want to cut off seeing her, because you value her. However, it is a situation that requires distance for it to truly be resolved.

Him? Oh I don't care about him. He's not that good for her, in my opinion.
But she is my friend, and I do not want to wrong any of my friends.
I don't want to cut off seeing her. I don't want to stop the cuddling, either.
Clearly, this problem is more difficult then I previously have thought.
I really don't know what to do, man. I've got a lot of conflicting feelings, and this needs to be resolved.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Look, this is just me, but I have a close friend, who happens to be a woman, and in a relationship, and yet we cuddle, hold hands, all that stuff.
And until I read this thread I had no idea so many people see something wrong with that.

It's not like I plan on stealing her or anything, we're just good mates.

I have never had a guy cuddle with me without him getting an erection.
So you are saying you have never had sexual thoughts about her? What if she were single and not in a relationship?

Well, I'm going to be completely honest here.
Sometimes, yes, I do get an erection or at least some movement when we cuddle. I try to avoid thinking sexually about her, and avoid looking at her fun parts, instead focussing on her face. Much better for my mind, much better for her, too.

If she were single things would be different, we have talked about this and it would have been different for the both of us.
But that's okay, really. She's just... such good company, and a good friend. I would never hurt or cheat her in such a way.

EDIT: actually I'm glad you asked, Lil' Devils, this has been weighing on my mind for quite some time and it feels good to talk with other people about it.

Well that is the truth of it. Cuddling isn't really helping the situation. It appears you guys have feelings for each other, and it is wronging your friend/ her boyfriend for you to be cuddling with her when these feelings exist if you value his friendship, and respect him as a person. It is " between a rock and a hard place". You don't want to cut off seeing her, because you value her. However, it is a situation that requires distance for it to truly be resolved.

Him? Oh I don't care about him. He's not that good for her, in my opinion.
But she is my friend, and I do not want to wrong any of my friends.
I don't want to cut off seeing her. I don't want to stop the cuddling, either.
Clearly, this problem is more difficult then I previously have thought.
I really don't know what to do, man. I've got a lot of conflicting feelings, and this needs to be resolved.

Well yea, it needs to be resolved. It isn't fair to you to be tied up in knots waiting for her to make up her mind, and if you put yourself in her boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if dude was cuddling up on your girl, and having feelings towards her? That isn't a good situation for anyone.

 

[ShipofFools]

Well yea, it needs to be resolved. It isn't fair to you to be tied up in knots waiting for her to make up her mind, and if you put yourself in her boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if dude was cuddling up on your girl, and having feelings towards her? That isn't a good situation for anyone.

Hm, You are right. I know you're right, with my mind.
But I can't stop. We give each other so much, you know? Something we both need, yeah?
I don't understand myself. This is not typical behaviour for me at all.

I don't know.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Well yea, it needs to be resolved. It isn't fair to you to be tied up in knots waiting for her to make up her mind, and if you put yourself in her boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if dude was cuddling up on your girl, and having feelings towards her? That isn't a good situation for anyone.

Hm, You are right. I know you're right, with my mind.
But I can't stop. We give each other so much, you know? Something we both need, yeah?
I don't understand myself. This is not typical behaviour for me at all.

I don't know.

That is what love does to people. Truth is it sounds like you have it bad for her and so bad you are willing to torture yourself knowing she is giving him all the parts you wish she would give to you. You are basically " supplemental affection" in addition to the affection she receives from him. Don't you think you are worth more than that?
EDIT: Do you really want to be singing this tune forever?:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4NeJeiYyjg

 

[ShipofFools]

Well yea, it needs to be resolved. It isn't fair to you to be tied up in knots waiting for her to make up her mind, and if you put yourself in her boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if dude was cuddling up on your girl, and having feelings towards her? That isn't a good situation for anyone.

Hm, You are right. I know you're right, with my mind.
But I can't stop. We give each other so much, you know? Something we both need, yeah?
I don't understand myself. This is not typical behaviour for me at all.

I don't know.

That is what love does to people. Truth is it sounds like you have it bad for her and so bad you are willing to torture yourself knowing she is giving him all the parts you wish she would give to you. You are basically " supplemental affection" in addition to the affection she receives from him. Don't you think you are worth more than that?

You're a good person, Devils. In my book, anyway.

I know that what you say is true, and I also know that I am not going to use that knowledge at all.
This is not how I am, normally. It's very hard to think about this.
I guess I am worth more then that, yeah.

Thank you.

EDIT: heh, look at me, talking publicly about these things on the Escapist forum. It must look weird to some of you readers, but trust me, it's all right.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Well yea, it needs to be resolved. It isn't fair to you to be tied up in knots waiting for her to make up her mind, and if you put yourself in her boyfriends shoes, how would you feel if dude was cuddling up on your girl, and having feelings towards her? That isn't a good situation for anyone.

Hm, You are right. I know you're right, with my mind.
But I can't stop. We give each other so much, you know? Something we both need, yeah?
I don't understand myself. This is not typical behaviour for me at all.

I don't know.

That is what love does to people. Truth is it sounds like you have it bad for her and so bad you are willing to torture yourself knowing she is giving him all the parts you wish she would give to you. You are basically " supplemental affection" in addition to the affection she receives from him. Don't you think you are worth more than that?

You're a good person, Devils. In my book, anyway.

I know that what you say is true, and I also know that I am not going to use that knowledge at all.
This is not how I am, normally. It's very hard to think about this.
I guess I am worth more then that, yeah.

Thank you.

EDIT: heh, look at me, talking publicly about these things on the Escapist forum. It must look weird to some of you readers, but trust me, it's all right.

Honestly, I hope you meet someone that makes you forget all about her and move on. For your own good. Good Luck!

 

[Estranged180]

Right, what we need is a lot of rope and torture equipment, I can supply the van! We pick them up and make them spill the beans on what is really going on between them...

I'll bring the marshmallows!!

OT: I may be one of the dissenting voices in this one. You don't need to confront him at all, all he's going to do is lie to you. After all, he's already been lying to you the whole time. It's her you might need to have a talk with. And don't beat around the bush on this one, be as direct as possible. I'll explain why. There's no reason ANYONE should be there to 'cuddle' her except you. Unfortunately, this is one of the main dangers of a 'long distance relationship'. Oh, by the way, if she hasn't told you about all this physical contact, amongst other things, she's also been lying to you the whole time.

Be prepared for the worst has already been said, and truer words have never been typed. But remember, if these two are doing all of this behind your back, and trying to hide it from you, they're liars, and you don't need them in your life. Go out, get new friends, find a new girlfriend (the fact that you have one says you shouldn't have much issue finding another) and get on with YOUR life. DO NOT LIVE FOR THESE LIARS!

Captcha: For the birds
I do think even the captcha is trying to tell you something.