Google Vs. The English

[RhombusHatesYou]

See, the thing is it doesn't piss us off the way most people think it does. Trying to use it as an insult just gets your written off as an ignorant, boring dickhead... Saying it over and over all night gets you classified as an irritating fuckstick who possibly needs help shutting their mouth.

I've found the best way to shut that sort of person up is to say to them "Convict? That's the best you've got? What are you, a fucking seppo?"

Doesn't matter which way it pisses you off, you only have to react and that is enough for us cunts to be amused.

It doesn't piss us off, it just bores us. What gets irritating is having the same thing said over and over again all night, doesn't matter what you're actually saying.

You go to the boozer and every time you pass a certain group that night, point and shout something like 'FLANGE GASKETS!'... eventually they're going to get sick of you.

Especially as we can add kicking your convict arses at cricket now your national team is slightly crappier than ours.

Cricket is even more tedious than tourists who think shouting 'convict!' all night is the height of comedy... which makes certain sections of the Barmy Army some of the most boring people I've ever met.

It's too late as I've already find your reaction very amusing in it's po-facedness.

Good for you. Let me know when you do your 'the cake is a lie' routine and I can come and be bored at that to amuse you.

 

[-|-]

Good for you. Let me know when you do your 'the cake is a lie' routine and I can come and be bored at that to amuse you.

Your ancestors couldn't be trusted with cakes. They'd be too busy putting files in them to help them escape.

 

[FamoFunk]

As a Welsh Sheep Shagger, so I have permission to laugh at thy neighbour?

 

[Ramare]

google has many secrets. it used to translate russian word "urod" to beauty, which is exactly opposite. it can roll over.

and there also are such crazyness in its search algorythms (caused by users no less):

Spoiler

I can't tell which one is more hilarious...Please, do tell where you found them if there's more to be had. That should be a few hours of laughing.

OT: That's kind of funny. The picture also pretty much phones in the hilarity.

 

[Kinguendo]

Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century.

Oi! We were doing it first!

- Signed, British Person.

 

[Liham]

Not that bad in australia.
my 9 year old sister uses the word ****.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century.

Oi! We were doing it first!

- Signed, British Person.

Meh... 'British' doesn't cound because the Welsh and Scots have been calling the English variations of that for a millenia or so.

 

[Kinguendo]

Australians have used that as the standard definition for the English for over a century.

Oi! We were doing it first!

- Signed, British Person.

Meh... 'British' doesn't cound because the Welsh and Scots have been calling the English variations of that for a millenia or so.

Oh I see, a xenophobe.

Well, I dont grace bigots with my presence. Good day!

 

[BehattedWanderer]

It makes me wish I lived elsewhere, just to hear the word used more. Here in the states, it's a word of high vulgarity. Gods help you if you use it on a perturbed woman. That's a road straight to Fuckedville, population you. And I mean that in every worst possible way.

 

[Brawndo]

I honestly don't understand why calling someone a **** is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?

It's because most women tend to get offended far easier than men

 

[Buizel91]

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

Is he still around? I'd assumed we'd driven the aggravating shit into the sea by now.

Not only that, but he was given his own quiz show not long back! To be fair to him, he's at least aware of his own reputation - I read an interview where he said he didn't care about being a nasty Anne Robinson style quiz host, because "I'm already the most hated person in the country, so what have I got to lose?"

However I might feel about him personally, I can't deny that his show sometimes brings joy to my heart. It's like they found a way to make Jerry Springer scummier and funnier. Some of my favourites include "Is my step-brother my dad?" and "Our relationship just hasn't been the same since my boyfriend was hit in the head with a hammer". My all-time favourite was a little gem buried in a rant Jeremy was having at some scumbag kid with behaviour problems. Having only tuned in halfway through, I have absolutely no sense of context for the statement, which makes it all the more hilarious;

"You threatened your nan! You smoke drugs! You attacked your sister! You chased a dog!"

I saw one a few months ago

"What happened on the horse with the Egyptian"

Safe to say i was pissing myself for a few days...

 

[AgentLampshade]

If you type "define a Scottish person" the second result is the wiki page for assault.

Hurrah?

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

What do we get for american?
"Fat Ass"

Fucking lucky english, I'd rather be called something I am not with words people seldom use, rather than words I am not that people use all the time.

 

[ckam]

Ah, Zero Punctuation. That's fun.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

haha ****? really? i use that word all the time as jokingly as possible. use it in every sense to "cunterrific, cuntly, cuntlike, cuntocious" just soo many ways to use it in such a satisfying way...

i mean really, this is quite hilarious.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

I honestly don't understand why calling someone a **** is worse than calling someone a dick... what's the difference?

It's because most women tend to get offended far easier than men

erm here...

take my flame shield, it's quite effective against feminazi tanks that are bound to crush you

 

[Dascylus]

Love the Mitchell and Webb image.
I'm not sure if it was insulting the English, or they were saying the word **** defines us because of how frequently it's said. **** has lost it's sting here just as much as all of the other swears. In fact, we don't really 'rank' our swears all that much apart from on national television.

I think we shoud take back the word ****.
As a british person I can use the word ****... You non-english can't, it's our word.
As in "My cunts and I, drinking our cuppas. We aren't concerned with the filth because we have batons too and we will bust up a **** in our overly-small and poorly insulated house"

And personally I think Mitchelland Webb are great examples of british people.

This fine **** knows where it's at.

Though I would like to remove 3 words from the common vocabulary...
Basically, blatantly and Init.
As in: Basically it's blatantly out of order, init.

 

[lee1287]

Lol.. Well, if you cant laugh at yourself.