Halo: Reach ZP predictions thread.

[ReinofFire]

He'll probably bash on the whole helmet thing.

But one thing is bothering me, how come everyone keeps on saying "oh, because their faces where covered by helmets you had no idea who was talking and you don't know if Noble 6 was mute or if he actually talked". I don't know about you, but the first time I played the game (Not the second or third but the FIRST!) I knew who was talking and I was surprised when they gave Noble 6 (depending on your gender) a voice. Now for those of you who are wondering, Noble 6 sounds like a young caucasian male. At first I thought, hmm maybe you couldn't tell the difference if he was black or white or hispanic or asian, but then as the game progressed it was quite obvious that he was white.

This is not to bash on the people, this is to bash on the idea that it is impossible to hear it. It's not, and not only is it not impossible, it's really easy.

Sorry for the triple negative.

 

[Grey_Focks]

I predict he'll rail against it, but will be hard up for actual reasons for not liking it and result to blowing a few tiny nitpicks completely out of proportion.

So just like his Mass Effect 2 video? (aka, "I hate probing planets!")

OT: I dunno...I just know that the comment section for that video will have more flame than....well than something with lots of flame (tempted to make a holocaust joke, but I thought better of it)

He probably will go on about it being too based on multiplayer, every game should have a single player that can stand by itself, blah-blah, he'll say it's more of the same, and he'll probably use the word "Average" somewhere in the ballpark of 20 times. Atleast.

Honestly the man is a terribly reviewer/critic/whatever, but his videos continue to make me laugh. I'm kinda looking forward to this.

 

[Space Spoons]

He's going to love it, and will proceed to put it up on the same pedestal that Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time rests upon. He'll have nothing bad to say about the game. Not one word. This, combined with the fact that it's a Halo title, will cause a perfect storm of rage that will engulf the Escapist forums. The backlash against MovieBob for his review of The Expendables will pale in comparison. Every thread will involve the words "Yahtzee", "Reach", "ZP Review" or "Sellout". Accusations will fly of Mr. Croshaw being on Bungie's payroll. Die-hard Halo fans will fight tooth-and-nail with gamers who can't stand the series. Zero Punctuation fanatics will declare that the series has jumped the shark, that Yahtzee has lost his edge, that the Escapist at large has sold out. There will be chaos unlike anything we've ever seen.

...

What? I like to play the long odds.

 

[BloodSquirrel]

He'll probably bash on the whole helmet thing.

But one thing is bothering me, how come everyone keeps on saying "oh, because their faces where covered by helmets you had no idea who was talking and you don't know if Noble 6 was mute or if he actually talked". I don't know about you, but the first time I played the game (Not the second or third but the FIRST!) I knew who was talking and I was surprised when they gave Noble 6 (depending on your gender) a voice. Now for those of you who are wondering, Noble 6 sounds like a young caucasian male. At first I thought, hmm maybe you couldn't tell the difference if he was black or white or hispanic or asian, but then as the game progressed it was quite obvious that he was white.

This is not to bash on the people, this is to bash on the idea that it is impossible to hear it. It's not, and not only is it not impossible, it's really easy.

Sorry for the triple negative.

Considering the fact that there is at least one time when Noble Six is the only person who could have possibly been talking, I just chalk it up to being a 3rd-hand complaint from people who either didn't play the game or weren't paying attention.

 

[Donojosh]

I predict it's going to be just the like the Halo 3 review.

 

[Lukeman1884]

He'll bash the campaign and ignore the multiplayer, as he does for every single FPS. Also armor abilities. And I've got $10 on him comparing Reach to another FPS and calling it a clone. And you can't forget about his hate for aliens.

 

[tirone231]

Dislike of space marines, characters have little to no development so there's no emotional attachment when they die, Kat is kind of a *****, Carter's voice is one of the most phoned in performances ever (delivered with no emotion...nothing to indicate why he should be a leader), too multiplayer focused (and we all know how he dislikes Xbox Live), Space combat is nice change but terribly underdeveloped, difficulty curve from heroic to legendary is ridiculously lop-sided, ultimately is too much like every other halo game, except that it now has jetpacks...(insert Dark Void reference)...

that ought to cover several of them. I like the multiplayer madness of the game, but feel that the campaign was largely a waste of time. I still believe that Halo 2 had the best campaign.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

I don't like halo, so im really looking forward to this review.

no predictions but if he gives it a thumbs up i may give the halo series a second shot with me.

I once tried halo odst and after 30 mins i found the game boring and not very different from other generic FPSs.

 

[Donojosh]

I still believe that Halo 2 had the best campaign.

Personally, best one of the seris has to be the orginal Halo. Just didn't like the dual wield mechanic

 

[SelectivelyEvil13]

Just some of my guesses:

#1: Schizophrenic and criminally short - One minute you're fighting on the ground, the next you're sneaking about with a sniper rifle in the shadows, the next you're in space, then you're on the ground again, then you're flying about in a helicopter, you're on the ground again, you save the day but not really, then you get called ethnic slurs by twelve year-olds. All of that in the span of 7 hours.

My view: Generally I enjoyed the varied gameplay as it kept the game moving without feeling too repetitive. However, I do have to say that Reach felt very short considering how much you would think would be going on. Certain points like the space mission transitioned so quickly without explaining the gaps too well. To me, the Helicopter mission in particular dragged on while not really contributing to a sense of "time" or progress during the events of Reach. I don't really like vehicle sections, either, and would have liked to have seen more fights like defending Dr. Hasley's lab.

#2: Unlikable/Throw-Away Characters and Plot - I know that I am supposed to have some emotional response other than "Boom! Headshot!", but remind me again why I'm supposed to be drowning in remorse over some trite space marine's bathetic demise?

My view: Compared to the Halo trilogy games, I much preferred Reach's characters and plot. Everything tied in well with the setting, and there was an overarching consistency. My only complaint for plot would tie in more with its lack of length and involvement with the characters.

#3: Gimmicks - An ode to Star Wars randomly jostled into the fray to add another bullet point to the back of the box, while never rearing its head in any other application for the game every again. Jetpacks are impractical contrivances shoehorned in to appease the simple-minded. The jetpack's thrust is as impotent as the collective efforts in a nursery home, propelling you feeble distances that are mitigated only by the fact that you cannot otherwise jump across forced sections in the game. Strategically, it is otherwise a fine way to perch yourself within firing distance of every enemy within 200 yards as there is no cover on the top of a mountain of crates.

My view: I did like the space combat, but would have liked to have seen it used more or even introduced in its own game mode like firefight. The jetpack, well, for single player, yeah... it was not very useful.

#4: While too afraid to abandon the "mend your bleeding ass by hiding behind a rock" health system, Reach also features a nominal health bar system that also regenerates anyway, relegating health packs to the usefulness of jetpacks attached to the undercarriage of a tank.

My view: Going back to the Halo trilogy, Reach and CE are the best in my opinion, as the health bar adds to the experience and gameplay. I still don't understand why the health bar would also sometimes recharge, though.

 

[REPTILE 0009]

I really don't give a shit about his opinions because I flat out hate that bastard's guts!

 

[tirone231]

I still believe that Halo 2 had the best campaign.

Personally, best one of the seris has to be the orginal Halo. Just didn't like the dual wield mechanic

sorry, i meant in terms of the story. I'm not a big fan of the dual wielding either

 

[smeghead25]

I predict that he will like the jetpacks but call it the only real fun thing in the game. And then say something along the lines of "but at least it's better than Dark Void."

He will say it's better than the rest though, and make some joke about that not being much.

 

[MONSTERheart]

The text gets in the way of the crosshair during multiplayer. For fucks sake, I was having a hard time in SWAT because the damn text covered up my reticle half the time.

Shallow, dull characters. Not enough time to get attached to any of them. Not as if we would have anyways. Kat is a crazy *****, Carter is average joe, Emile is vaguely racist stereotype, Jun is boring and Jorge, the only mildly likable one, doesn't stick around long enough for anyone to remember.

Regenerating Health

Short Campaign with no coherent structure.

 

[cheese_wizington]

It's popular?

IMMEDIATELY SUCKS

That's Yahtzee 95 percent of the time for you.

 

[clockout]

He will mention how he was in awestuck at the pure brilliance of the game, and say "If Reach had a penis I would be sucking on it like a staved baby calf sucking its mothers udders till they bleed, then keep going until the cow is tapped out of all bodily fluids" totally! then go on about the gentleman like manners of one talking to the queen that is found on its onlie community.

Or he could not do because we have already predicted what he would say about, so not much point to him doing it now is there? I could be wrong tho.

 

[Vicarious Vangaurd]

I once tried halo odst and after 30 mins i found the game boring and not very different from other generic FPSs.

Annnnnnd there's your problem. You need to play Halo: CE, Halo 2 and Reach. Also remember it was Halo that started the whole terrible regenerating health thing so they weren't exactly generic back in the day.

Now Halo 3 sucked (expletive deleted) but the first two and the last one are all relatively good games.

OT: Yahtzee will speak with a British accent.

 

[Canid117]

He is going to call it generic shit. It's Halo after all.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

He will present the game. make fun of fanboys. give it one ounce of praise, tear it down to it's core. Make a snippy comment. Insist it could of been better or something like that and fan boys are already blinded to cheify might and bought the game wither he liked it or not.

roll credits

 

[Misterian]

I'd say it'd be alot like his Halo 3 review.

Either that, or he doesn't review it at all.

I'd rather see him retrospec Hitman, no offense.