Halo: Reach ZP predictions thread.

[Candidus]

Assuming that Halo Reach is the review this week, herein predict the criticisms you expect and, if you'd like, your own take on the "problem".

Normal mode - You predict 'anything' that ZP brings up in criticism. (10 Cr)
Heroic mode - You predict not just a criticism, but the joke used to make it funny. (50 Cr)
Legendary - You get a joke almost (or actually) verbatim. (100 Cr)

Note: If you're actually Yahtzee and you get a joke verbatim, we reset your credits and impose a one day credit earning ban.

The Criticism/Joke:
That he can't tell who's talking because everyone's wearing a helmet. Will probably suggest that all voices besides Kat's are similar. Helmets full of gravel, and all that. (I score zero points, as this was alluded to in an Extra Punctuation; the same-voice part is the true prediction here)

My Views:
That voices of the main cast and important supporting characters are quite distinct. When all faces are obscured by trendy buckets, the speaker is usually pretty well telegraphed via body language- particularly in the earlier scenes before you're expected to be familiar with the team.

Your turn, Escapists.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

I predict that he won't even do one because everyone knows his opinion on it already.

EDIT: But he will mention the existence of it in the video he decides to do instead of it.

 

[MrGalactus]

Something about Fanboys, short campaign, doesn't care about multiplayer, etc
I hope he says something about not knowing who the hell is talking in a cutscene. There's like 6 dudes wearing full face masks, and I'm suppost to know who's telling me his dramatic and important character back story bit. Kinda skewed the story for me a bit.
I still dont know is Noble 6 is a mute or not.

 

[Thr Long Man]

I predict the unpredictable

 

[Candidus]

I predict that he won't even do one because everyone knows his opinion on it already.

EDIT: But he will mention the existence of it in the video he decides to do instead of it.

Awh now, I hope that's not true. Who listens to his videos without some inkling of how he feels ahead of time? All you need is a knowledge of his apparent tastes- watch a lot of videos- and the name of this week's victim, and you'll know what to expect most of the time.

We listen because it's funny as hell, even if we see it coming and *even* if we vehemently disagree.

I think Valve is a staggeringly average developer whose flagship FPS is a dull, uninspiring and- most damningly- unentertaining disaster. Nevertheless, I enjoy hearing him *talk* about Valve.

I'll disagree with what he has to say regarding Reach, I'm almost certain, but it's bound to be a good listen.

 

[Dango]

No way he's reviewing it, and his next review will probably mention how stupid reviewing it would be (not that I think think it would be stupid).

 

[RUINER ACTUAL]

I think he'll generally like it, but consider it generic.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

I think Valve is a staggeringly average developer whose flagship FPS is a dull, uninspiring and- most damningly- unentertaining disaster. Nevertheless, I enjoy hearing him *talk* about Valve.

Get. Out.

I rarely watch his shows to make a decision on games. If he gives a game a good review, I'll consider it, but he's definitely more for entertainment than a legitimate opinion.

 

[Terminate421]

I think he'll like it in the sense of Modern Warfare 2's campaign.

He'll like it but think its too short.

 

[Blueruler182]

Meh, I doubt he'll like it, but I can't think of any criticisms. Maybe the jet pack not being too effective. Oh, and the ending. Not the post-credit thing, he'll probably adore the post-credit thing, but the pre-credit ending... Yeah, that wasn't that great.

 

[inkblood]

In his last video he showed the possibility of reviewing either Reach or Spiderman so i'm guessing he'll just mess around with the fanboys some more and go with Spiderman

 

[lacktheknack]

I predict that he won't even do one because everyone knows his opinion on it already.

EDIT: But he will mention the existence of it in the video he decides to do instead of it.

He did mention that he likes "baiting fanboys", but also mentioned that he's playing Halo Reach now that he's done Amnesia.

There WILL be a review, I'd stake my life on it.

 

[Thk13421]

He'll complain that:

A. To a Halo Newbie, nothing makes any sense, which is true, but unfair, because Bungie has never claimed anything otherwise.

B. That the campaign, while full of variety and interesting bits, should have been longer so that the characters can get more development, which is a gripe I have about the game.

C. That the game is too focused on multi player. However, he may concede that firefight, while not original, is very well implemented, and a ton of fun.

I think that he may not completely tear it to shreds, but he definitely won't sing it any praises.

I liked the game, and I intend to watch his review: Weather he liked it or not, I know that I liked it, and he's not going to convince me retroactively that I wasn't having fun while I was playing it.

 

[Mandal0re]

Ever since the Halo 3 review were Yahtzee states he has never played combat evolved i have considered his opinion on Halo pretty much null and void. Especially considering the fact that he uses Halo:CE as a negative example in a few videos-despite having never played it. I suppose he just assumes its the same as Halo 3 but yu know-its really not. Being from a time when the campaign in a shooter actually mattered. And with the exception of one level Halo:CE has a fucking awesome campaign.

But as for his opinion on Reach i reckon it will actually be fairly positive. I mean sure there will be the stock complaints about generic space marines and such but he said Halo 3's campaign was averagely good and Reach's campaign easily out strips 3's(the weakest of all the Halo campaigns imo). Also i know Yahtzee's stated policy is to play through games on the normal difficulty setting but i really think you need to play on atleast Heroic to get the proper Reach experience. Normal is just too easy.

 

[inkblood]

In his last video he showed the possibility of reviewing either Reach or Spiderman so i'm guessing he'll just mess around with the fanboys some more and go with Spiderman

 

[BloodSquirrel]

I predict he'll rail against it, but will be hard up for actual reasons for not liking it and result to blowing a few tiny nitpicks completely out of proportion.

(Like, for example, complaining about not knowing who is talking, even though the characters regularly take their helmets off in cutscenes).

 

[Robert632]

In his last video he showed the possibility of reviewing either Reach or Spiderman so i'm guessing he'll just mess around with the fanboys some more and go with Spiderman

Or he could screw around with us even further by reveiwing something completely different from those two.

 

[Hisshiss]

Yeah, and heroic is too annoying. Playing heroic mode alone isn't hard, but your gonna spent 2 hours on every mission if your not a halo veteran getting bitched to death by everything. Just because you can beat a game on a given difficulty doesn't mean its the most enjoyable way to do it.