Help please (with a girl)

[gbemery]

ahh the dreaded friend zone...many a men have been lost to this terrible place. I think it should be clearly marked somehow

Haha I imagine for males the friend zone would be horrible and confusing.

For me, I like it, because it always works in my favor you see.

evil, evil mind games. You women meddle in the dark arts...

We have our revenge after marrage the insideous trap of the kitchen zone rarely fails.

that's just because some of us, if left alone for too long, could probably burn water.

 

[x0ny]

Dude, I was in the more or less the same situation as you during my first year at university. I found this girl I really liked in the first few weeks of university, barely knew her. Became good friends, but then she started dating this older guy in the 3rd year, who I had only met a week or two beforehand (this is where my story differs from yours).

So.. I just gave up on her and just tried to continue being friends, but because she was always with her bf, I knew I had to stay out of their way. I did what I did, cuz that's my character, giving up easily.

Fortunately for me though they broke up after a month, but I didn't start dating her until towards the end of the academic year (May), and by then, we were best friends.

My word of advice is give it time. See how things unfold. You can learn alot just by observing.

 

[Alphavillain]

Dude, it doesn't matter who you are, or where you live, one rule still stands.

[HEADING=1]Bro's before hoes, man[/HEADING]

Talk to your friend.

Exactly. Friends will stay with you longer than girlfriends (or boyfriends).

 

[Trivun]

Your friend already called it.

Sorry to put it like that but asking her out right after he tells you he likes her is a pretty shitty thing to do.

I'm sorry, but how? 'Bros before hoes' is the stupidest rule ever and whoever came up with it is an idiot. All's fair in love and war, remember, OP. Go for it. If you like her, then the worst that can happen is that she rejects you, in which case no harm done and you'll be able to move on. Whereas if you don't ask her out, you'll always regret it (take it from someone who knows, believe me...). Go for it. If your friend also likes her, then he'll just have to try and get in there first, won't he?

 

[curty129]

My suggestion, but a Ghillie suit and stalk her.

This is the internet. Expect a mix of people taunting you for asking for help on the internet. (Correction)

Then throw peanuts at her when lots of people are around Once she goes insane, you can be the one to comfort her.

 

[Nepeccel]

Looks like you've been beaten to her by your friend. If you still want to pursue her, then you won't have that friend anymore. Think which one you want more, a friend or a girlfriend.

 

[D-Cypher]

Your mate called her cus you were too much of a ***** to do anything first. If you made a move on her now your buddy would be well within bro before ho laws to punch you in the face... hard.

 

[El Poncho]

This happend to me and a friend once except I was in your friends position but not talking to her as often as he is, my friend told me he liked her so it became let the best man win, although she did tell me she didn't like my friend and I didn't have the balls to ask so in the end it was pointless

 

[Jou]

Finger cuffs? Only joking.

I guess it depends on your goal for the girl and your age bracket. If you are out of school a girl will usually know if she wants you within the first couple of minutes if you are just looking to get some action. If you are looking for a relationship, well then just let it run its course.

As for your friend, well I guess that depends on what kind of friend he is. Close? Just let it be known that you like her too. Don't get all creepy and say "I love her soooo much, you just don't know." Just do what he is. Maybe he already knows you like her or are interested or whatever. That could be the reason he is so out loud about his intentions. To try and get you to back off. In any case, people here can only speculate because of so little real information about the parties involved and the dynamics of your relationships with each. You could be the ugly friend and hampering or even harpooning your friend would be a dick thing to do.

 

[MGlBlaze]

Well, if your friend likes her as well, you should talk to him first and see if he's alright with you asking her or not. Think about it, how would you feel if you liked a girl and your friend swooped in and took her instead, even though you knew he knew how you felt, and didn't even ask?

Talk it over first.

 

[Life_Is_A_Mess]

Okay, you should approach her, slowly, but DON'T try anything stupid. Start talking to her, start showing interest for what she does. Imagine her as a squeme.

1) Go through the "aquainted (correct me if I spelled wrong :S) zone", avoid the "friend zone", attach yourself to the "feelings express", which will get you to "intimity lane". Don't forget to stay in the "social house" for a bit. There you should safe.

2) When you think you have gained her confidence, make your move. But ffs don't ruin it or you will be imediately out of her social circle and live the rest of our live in despair.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

ahh the dreaded friend zone...many a men have been lost to this terrible place. I think it should be clearly marked somehow

It is quite clearly marked... with the dreaded phrase "I just want to be/see you as more of a friend(s)"

@ OP: You need to talk to your friend about this, find out if he's actually got the stones to make a move on this girl, or if he's just faffing around. If he does really like her, or intends making a move on her, you need to back off. Plenty more fish in the sea, and all that jazz.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Just do what I did in this situation: Screw 'em both, become asexual, and find a new best friend.

With sarcasm out of the way: it sounds like your friend has known this girl longer, so he seems to have more right to ask her out. So, let him go ahead with that, and if they don't work out, by all means make a move.

 

[orangebandguy]

He called Shotgun before you did, so I'm afraid he's won. Unless she chooses you of course.

 

[Above]

I am agreeing with many people here

[HEADING=1] Bro's before hoes! [/HEADING]

dont destroy a friendship over a girl

 

[sauerkraus]

Dude, make your move before he does.

 

[Alotak]

So, to start off, I've known this girl for a good 10 weeks, but just in the past week have I started talking to her. She is pretty and smart, and I like her. Just in the past 3 days I've had a conversation with her for the first time (over facebook.... yeah i know :\) and we don't really know each other real well. I have thought about asking her out on a whim, but here is where I need some advice.

My friend of 2 years recently started taking interest in this girl, and has been pretty open about it and talks to her a lot. If I'm not mistaken she considers him more as a friend than anything serious. He has no idea I like her, and he even told me yesterday that he was thinking of asking her out this week or next week.

I like this girl quite a bit but don't know her so well, and I'm not sure if she would be interested in me or not. I want to ask her out, but don't really want to rush things - or do I? I just don't want to give up the chance to ask her out because if my friend does then my chance is lost (granted she says yes). What should I do? Should I let this opportunity slip away and give my friend a chance? or do I go for it? (I don't think he'd be too mad if I went out with her).

In all seriousness dude you cant be that old, there will be other girls and other friends.
So think about it for a while then choose, as someone who has seen a similar situation form then result in a fist fight where i had to kick both there asses to make them stop.

Ask her on the quite if you must, dont tell your friend if she shoots you down, no biggy encouage your friend, the be her friend too. Being a god friend is better than nothing.

If you choose not to do anything you, will get hurt emotionaly anyway. So frankly just go for it!

 

[Woodsey]

Your friend already called it.

Sorry to put it like that but asking her out right after he tells you he likes her is a pretty shitty thing to do.

Normally I'd say just go for it - if you and your friend both like her then neither can blame the other for trying to get in there.

But in this case, it makes you look like a total arse-hole if your friend has made it clear he likes and you've not said a word.

 

[DND Judgement]

sorry i think bros before hos applies...

 

[aaronmcc]

Well I have experienced a similar situation. I discussed with a friend how we both liked the same girl but neither of us was brave enough to ask her out. Next thing I know he is dating her and now, a few yra later, they are married. I'm really happy for them but they are the most unlikely couple I have ever seen.
Tell your friend to make his move or you will.