Ya know, friends aren't that great. They can be pretty annoying. This is not a joke, it's a real observation.
Yeah...I can't help you. Go talk to a real therapist.
Yeah...I can't help you. Go talk to a real therapist.
Here we go again! Don't even bother reading this..
- Thread starter TriSarahTops
- Start date
You say you are nice to everyone?
You say you hate everyone?
Isnt that a bit contradictory?
If you genuinely hate everyone, why try to be nice?
If you have a boyfriend than you cant hate EVERYONE, or do you actually hate him to?
If you hate everyone, then it will show in your body language, and everything you do when you try to interact with people.
You said something about not wanting to smalltalk? You dont wanna talk about what colour Britney Spear´s hair is for this week? Well than talk about what you wanna talk with people, but dont expect them to be all-ears about what you wanna talk about, not everything that you say is interesting for everyone else. Especially if you dont wanna hear what they wanna talk about. Everyone has their own interests and talents, try to find people who has the same interests as you do. Its as easy as that.
Small talk is something people do to relax, people dont wanna talk about "heavy" topics all day long, you seem like you should pick up on this to.
You will see that as you grow older small talk is what gets people through the day, even though most people, when you get to know them, dont mind talking about almost anything. And I should know, Im 13 years older than you, if your profile is accurate that is?
We cant get along with everyone on this planet, but if you have your nose as high up in the air as you seem to have, than you wont get along with many at all.
You come across as a bit stuck-up to be honest, though perhaps its unintentional?
If you really are as smart as you say you are, than why haven´t you figured this out for yourself?
To me you come across as a "kid" trying to be an adult among other kids.
I have a tip for you. You should try to just relax a bit, and try to have some more fun. School is nothing, it´s when you get out of school that your REAL life starts, and its not always easy. Although its easier to be accepted by people, since most have matured, and arent as small minded as kids in school are.
It would be interesting to meet you in person, just to see how you really act one-on-one so to say
I´ve always enjoyed interacting with other people, I may not be the most talkative (spelling?) person you´ve met, but Im the type of person who likes to chat about almost anything, as long as it ain´t Let´s Dance or Idol... hate those kind of things.
I find it a bit strange that you have problems interacting with other people, you actually seem like a person who shouldn´t have much problem talking to others. Especially guys, since you seem like a bit of a tomboy. With that I mean because you play games and whatnot.
To be honest, Im not the brightest tool in the shed (Im what you would call "normal" in that apartment), and I have extremely bad self esteem, but even I can see that your not happy with the way things are, and you dont seem to have good self asteem either, no matter what you say.
You say you hate everyone?
Isnt that a bit contradictory?
If you genuinely hate everyone, why try to be nice?
If you have a boyfriend than you cant hate EVERYONE, or do you actually hate him to?
If you hate everyone, then it will show in your body language, and everything you do when you try to interact with people.
You said something about not wanting to smalltalk? You dont wanna talk about what colour Britney Spear´s hair is for this week? Well than talk about what you wanna talk with people, but dont expect them to be all-ears about what you wanna talk about, not everything that you say is interesting for everyone else. Especially if you dont wanna hear what they wanna talk about. Everyone has their own interests and talents, try to find people who has the same interests as you do. Its as easy as that.
Small talk is something people do to relax, people dont wanna talk about "heavy" topics all day long, you seem like you should pick up on this to.
You will see that as you grow older small talk is what gets people through the day, even though most people, when you get to know them, dont mind talking about almost anything. And I should know, Im 13 years older than you, if your profile is accurate that is?
We cant get along with everyone on this planet, but if you have your nose as high up in the air as you seem to have, than you wont get along with many at all.
You come across as a bit stuck-up to be honest, though perhaps its unintentional?
If you really are as smart as you say you are, than why haven´t you figured this out for yourself?
To me you come across as a "kid" trying to be an adult among other kids.
I have a tip for you. You should try to just relax a bit, and try to have some more fun. School is nothing, it´s when you get out of school that your REAL life starts, and its not always easy. Although its easier to be accepted by people, since most have matured, and arent as small minded as kids in school are.
It would be interesting to meet you in person, just to see how you really act one-on-one so to say
I´ve always enjoyed interacting with other people, I may not be the most talkative (spelling?) person you´ve met, but Im the type of person who likes to chat about almost anything, as long as it ain´t Let´s Dance or Idol... hate those kind of things.
I find it a bit strange that you have problems interacting with other people, you actually seem like a person who shouldn´t have much problem talking to others. Especially guys, since you seem like a bit of a tomboy. With that I mean because you play games and whatnot.
To be honest, Im not the brightest tool in the shed (Im what you would call "normal" in that apartment), and I have extremely bad self esteem, but even I can see that your not happy with the way things are, and you dont seem to have good self asteem either, no matter what you say.
"Tip: Stop trying to please others. It only ends badly."
"Simple: Stop giving two shits about other people. Seriously, most of them are complete idiots. Don't bother, it's not worth it. The real friends will enjoy you for how you naturally are."
These two are good advice. Seriously, I'm not saying life will be lovey-dovey after you follow these words. -BUT- if you don't, you will be extremely miserable man.
Human beings can't change who they are. The sooner you accept yourself, the better
"Simple: Stop giving two shits about other people. Seriously, most of them are complete idiots. Don't bother, it's not worth it. The real friends will enjoy you for how you naturally are."
These two are good advice. Seriously, I'm not saying life will be lovey-dovey after you follow these words. -BUT- if you don't, you will be extremely miserable man.
Human beings can't change who they are. The sooner you accept yourself, the better
cuddly_tomato said:
I second that. You wrote what I wrote (kinda), only you did it better ^^
Cheers!
TriSarahTops.
If you are as clever as you say you are. You SHOULD take this to your heart and try to adapt how you are to it. Cause these are words of wisdom.
If you think this is just horsecrap, well... then you are screwed when it comes to making friends and will be for a long, long, long time.
Um... why did you have to type what I wanted to say before I could?implodingMan said:
The joke aside (a really bad one but anyway...). It´s true what you say.
Your problem is you have a superiority complex.
You will never befriend others if you constantly look down on them.
It's a simple choice be cheerful, polite and friendly or prepare for a very isolated and lonely existance.
You will never befriend others if you constantly look down on them.
It's a simple choice be cheerful, polite and friendly or prepare for a very isolated and lonely existance.
I agree with Corey Taylor....he claims that people=shit! But I'm not implying that you do...but those people who bully you and make you feel really bad about yourself definitly do!TriSarahTops said:
If you stop caring what people think, I know it's easier said than it is done, but it really works.....I used to care so much about what was "cool" and what people thought about me, and then one day I just saw myself for the conceited little **** I was and changed my outlook on life, and genuinely STOPPED caring...and ever since I've never been so happy....
Way too many people in this thread are saying you shouldn't care what people think. I am really hoping you lot mean "You shouldn't let what people think hurt you" as opposed to "You shouldn't care what people think."
If not this is very bad advice. Firstly, it is impossible. Secondly, it is the road to sociopathy. Not caring what people think can very quickly lead to not caring about people full stop. Thinking that people = shit is a road that can only lead to misery or nihilism. Either way it is self destructive and won't make you happy.
If not this is very bad advice. Firstly, it is impossible. Secondly, it is the road to sociopathy. Not caring what people think can very quickly lead to not caring about people full stop. Thinking that people = shit is a road that can only lead to misery or nihilism. Either way it is self destructive and won't make you happy.
What a great song.cuddly_tomato said:
I feel like a massive douche for saying this, but them's the breaks. No matter what you do, who you look up to, what you say, people are going to think poorly of you. The only thing to do is not let it bother you. You seem like a very deep person, and very deep people tend to make friends in the right places. So for now, just keep on keepin' on.
I think you should learn to talk to stupid people. It helps. Also, learn how to tell jokes (not set up ones, but ones that the situation calls for). A real ice-breaker.
Also also: to all of you writing shit like "ill kill u" or "get a life"
Go fuck your self.
and I mean it literally.
That is all you will get.
Also also: to all of you writing shit like "ill kill u" or "get a life"
Go fuck your self.
and I mean it literally.
That is all you will get.
I used to have the same problem, and I think I still have a small case of the "onlychildasocialsyndrome"...but on the other hand I have gained confidence. Just walk tall and make your eyes gleam with determination. And when people want to small talk, do it. But if they say something fucktarded call them on it. I expect everyone around me to call me on stupid things, so I will call them on it too...
I know how you feel I had the same sort of problem when I was in school, but I just learnt to just try talk to a few people and try to find some common ground and build on it from there really. The common ground I found was my love for gaming and metal/rock music.
Your avatar is amusing in the context of your current post.TriSarahTops said:
Anyway, I would suggest you take a deep breath, imagine that when you're going to meet someone that you'll make a good impression and be calm. Your energy is what makes most of the impression, not just the words.
If you have a pet, they're great. They can tell you a lot about yourself, they're like mirrors, only better.
Always try to appreciate what you can and if you're in hell? Just keep on walking.
cuddly_tomato said:
I agree with him, there may be a lot of shit people out there that may make you miserable but not everyone is like that. Behind the cloud of idiots on everyday life there are a few individuals that really stand out, you just have to look them out. These few people that care are the only reason I haven't completely given up hope in humanity.
Just keep your head up and keep up smiling!
Seriously just be yourself. That's what I do, I've tried many a friendship and eventually you either click or find out that it's not compatible. By doing this after a while you tend to learn who is worth your time and who isn't, and because of this method I have a very close group of friends.TriSarahTops said:
I think I'm sort of in the same situation as you are most people in my school really are immature idiots and my more highly intelligent friends out class socially a in intelligence (to an extent)
I'm having problems and it all started when I moved I lost all the confidence and friends i ever had. Sadly i will say the move ruined my life.
But slowly every day I'm getting through it all. Perseverance, Just take everything one day at a time. Although things can get worse they'll one day get better. I might take as death. But if You need better advice than that. (mines not great i know. Try following the other posters advice some of it might help.
I'm having problems and it all started when I moved I lost all the confidence and friends i ever had. Sadly i will say the move ruined my life.
But slowly every day I'm getting through it all. Perseverance, Just take everything one day at a time. Although things can get worse they'll one day get better. I might take as death. But if You need better advice than that. (mines not great i know. Try following the other posters advice some of it might help.
Here's my advice.
1) Don't assume everyone is a dumb retard and don't start hating everyone in advance (I'm exaggerating obviously but stay with me). It'll show in some form or another and people will interpret that distance/ mistrust as arrogance because they don't know what caused you to think like that. On that note, DON'T start distinguishing people by intelligence because that gives a strong impression (even to me now) that someone who judges people by their grades and marks is not worth talking to because they're probably looking down on me the whole time.
2) Don't forget that at school age ( even the first few years of high school), peer pressure (stay with me even though I'm using the cliche) is a considerable force. People might convince themselves they they aren't influenced by it but it is ALWAYS there. This means that people who happen to already have a peer group will give lonlier people **** for that. Don't be so quick to put them down as hateful people, that's just how school works. If you talk with them one on one chances are the peer pressure will be replaced by the common decency people have. People act totally different one on one compared with when they're in their 'group' talking to an 'outsider'. Cut humanity some slack.
3) Don't look down at small- talk / its topics. Even if you don't find interest in the specific topic, just enjoy the fact that you're having a friendly conversation rather than focussing on the stupidity of Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend. You might not have much knowledge about the topic in question but you would be surprised how much you can get away with by saying the typical responses: 'He is soo hot, I love her dress! That's the kind of house I'd love to live in!'
4) Don't be self- conscious, as a person who overanalyses their own potentially embarassing/ bad impression creating events way too much just accept that the sort of things that you do and think "Oh **** they think I'm crazy!" are things they'll have forgotten about and moved on from while you're still dwelling on it.
Hope that was kind of helpful. (Don't be too harsh on some of us escapists either, we may come across sometimes as this or that, but don't forget around 70% of what is said on the internet is misintrepreted.)
1) Don't assume everyone is a dumb retard and don't start hating everyone in advance (I'm exaggerating obviously but stay with me). It'll show in some form or another and people will interpret that distance/ mistrust as arrogance because they don't know what caused you to think like that. On that note, DON'T start distinguishing people by intelligence because that gives a strong impression (even to me now) that someone who judges people by their grades and marks is not worth talking to because they're probably looking down on me the whole time.
2) Don't forget that at school age ( even the first few years of high school), peer pressure (stay with me even though I'm using the cliche) is a considerable force. People might convince themselves they they aren't influenced by it but it is ALWAYS there. This means that people who happen to already have a peer group will give lonlier people **** for that. Don't be so quick to put them down as hateful people, that's just how school works. If you talk with them one on one chances are the peer pressure will be replaced by the common decency people have. People act totally different one on one compared with when they're in their 'group' talking to an 'outsider'. Cut humanity some slack.
3) Don't look down at small- talk / its topics. Even if you don't find interest in the specific topic, just enjoy the fact that you're having a friendly conversation rather than focussing on the stupidity of Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend. You might not have much knowledge about the topic in question but you would be surprised how much you can get away with by saying the typical responses: 'He is soo hot, I love her dress! That's the kind of house I'd love to live in!'
4) Don't be self- conscious, as a person who overanalyses their own potentially embarassing/ bad impression creating events way too much just accept that the sort of things that you do and think "Oh **** they think I'm crazy!" are things they'll have forgotten about and moved on from while you're still dwelling on it.
Hope that was kind of helpful. (Don't be too harsh on some of us escapists either, we may come across sometimes as this or that, but don't forget around 70% of what is said on the internet is misintrepreted.)
This guys has it right on the money. I spent so long despising the airheaded, pop-people around me, that I started blaming everyone around me for my own loneliness. My class was full of superficial jerks, that were beneath me in terms of intelligence and culture. Then I started senior High-School(or, the danish equivalent, Gymnasium) and slowly, but surely, I warmed to the people I studied with. Well, slow... It didn't take more thatn a few weeks for me to realize that, hey, we can't all be as smart as eachother, but the real snob here... is me. I was so wrapped up in my wearing bandshirt and eyeliner, while listening to complex music and reading books in a foreing language, that I couldn't see that it wasn't other people that was the problem, it was me. So I started keeping an open mind, and boy was I surprised. People in my class cared about me, and they actually often tried to strike conversation. So I started responding. And I had three great years with people that, even if not all of them friends, then at least people I respected, which was returned, and could have fun with. I changed... The eyeliner went, I started going to a few disco's every once in a while, and in the end, I was a better, more whole person. I never became "like them" - I'm still a long haired freak that get's stupidly drunk at concerts, and who reads comics, plays viodegames and listen to music that would make my grandmother shit her pants. But I've learned that people aren't really that bad.Akas said:
I would like to summarize, and compress all this into a single piece of advice, but I can't really get my head around it. But I think you get the gist of it from my little story here.
I hope you do take matters into your hand, and truly {i]want[/i] to fit in. It's not easy. But it pays of. Don't buy into the "fuck 'em" crap, because it will only make you a little happier, giving you something other than yourself to project you misery onto, namely the unfair world and all the idiots in it.