Here we go again! Don't even bother reading this..

[zen5887]

There has been a lot of good advice in this thread, but also a lot of bad advice.

Here is the vibe I am getting from the OP

"Hey I'm Sarah, lets be friends.. Did you know your hair looks really stupid?"

Not a good way to be. I'm not going to write a massive paragraph because it will most likely get ignored but what I will say.

Treat other people how you want people to treat you. Simple enough yeah?

 

[Jaythulhu]

Sounds to me like you have a mild form of asperger's syndrome. Have ya ever been tested? Might be worth checking out. A good therapist can help ya to be more at ease in a social situation, too. A mate of mine went to one cos he was having similar troubles as you, and after a couple of months, he feels right at home talking to groups of people (albeit small groups, that's a vast improvement for him).

That said, don't feel that you need to change yourself to fit in with other people. It's hard when you're pre-25ish, but as you age, you'll eventually realise that the opinions of those who don't accept you for you don't actually matter, as they're the more insecure. Only someone with no sense of self worth feels the need to deride others'.

 

[RagnorakTres]

I don't know if I am the one to say this as it sounds like you're older than me, but I have found that if you ignore enough people for long enough, they wind up thinking you're pretty cool. There's this whole clique that I'm friends with, despite them all being in band or otherwise players of instruments and I'm in choir (are band and choir diametrically opposed anywhere else?). But because I just never spazzed out when one of them ragged on me, I got this rep as a pretty cool guy, and now, as a Junior in high school, I think I can honestly say that I have the most influence in the school because I've got friends EVERYWHERE. that was never my goal, but it sure is a cool side-effect. At the risk of sounding cliched, just be yourself. It worked for me and I was the most hated person in my elementary school.

I apologize. I am not communicating well, and I hope that you get what I'm trying to say.

 

[balu_san]

You sound quite similar to my girlfriend. Although she hasnt expressed to me the same worries as you are posting, I guess because she is more shy than you are, and I have a question for you.
Why do u want to change? I mean cant you find people that like you the way u are? Personally i wouldnt change myself cause then I wouldnt feel good with myself anymore. I would feel like a clown with many tricks and no real me. You said it " i dont want to talk about what colour britney spears dyed her hair this week". So dont socialize with everyone just to have someone. Better few and worth it than a lot and boring.
(Sorry for my terrible English. I am from Greece).

 

[742]

i struggled with similar problems, and i figured a couple things out
either lies or stupidity seem to be the foundation of 99% of human interaction. pretend to be interested in inane crap. say "oh, no sorry, i got food poisoning that night, SO sorry i didnt call but my phone was out of batteries" rather than "i hate you, you have crappy taste in music, you and all your friends are boring, and i dont drink."

essentially, learn to lie, without any tells if you can. alternatively, if your funny you can turn that to your advantage. BE mean, just make sure its funny, then all things are shiny.

 

[TriSarahTops]

maybe you need a hobby, something social you can meet friends and get to know other people with the same interrests, it will be easier to talk to them, and talk to them face-to-face, that's always better than from behind a monitor.

I do communtity theatre so i meet lots of people and make plenty of awesome friends but they are all adults, some of them are even teachers that i get drunk with after performances aww good times)

 

[TriSarahTops]

You sound quite similar to my girlfriend. Although she hasnt expressed to me the same worries as you are posting, I guess because she is more shy than you are, and I have a question for you.
Why do u want to change? I mean cant you find people that like you the way u are? Personally i wouldnt change myself cause then I wouldnt feel good with myself anymore. I would feel like a clown with many tricks and no real me. You said it " i dont want to talk about what colour britney spears dyed her hair this week". So dont socialize with everyone just to have someone. Better few and worth it than a lot and boring.
(Sorry for my terrible English. I am from Greece).

i dont want to change... i want everyone else to so they can accpet who I am... i was really ranting last night and fucked up my post.. ireally dont want to i love the person i am... im just really confused and when i put things into words they come out completley to what i inteneded them to say

 

[TriSarahTops]

If you hate everyone, and give the impression that you do. How the fuck are they going to form a positive impression of you? Duh?

i dont give that imprseeion... i said i was pleasant to everyone but they still think im a loser

 

[cuddly_tomato]

There is a Jewish proverb:- "If twelve people tell you that you are sick, lie down."

i dont want to change... i want everyone else to so they can accpet who I am...

If you don't want to change, and yet want to be accepted, but nobody is accepting you, you are obviously going to have to make a choice about which of these things is most important. OK, there are some idiots out there who just act like twats towards other people regardless of anything. But those are a tiny minority. If nobody seems to accept you then you probably could do with re-examining your attitude to life and try to modify it somewhat so you can be a more sociable and happy person.

 

[Phat_Frank]

Laugh more.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists

 

[Booze Zombie]

If you're in a boring (subjective) situation and you want to find the "smart" (subjective, really) people, try seeing who else looks bored. If you both find a situation dull as fu-udge, all the more likely you'll have things in common and hit it off (as acquaintances).

 

[Lullabye]

You know what, im never giving advice again. Too many idiots in this thread saying "don't care". It's possible to stop caring but well, here, look up every experiment people have ever done with people socializing? not being able to socialize with other people. For most of us its a need to give us good stable mental health. I care what people think. Of me, of each other, of everything.
Hehehehee, if these people on this thread REALLY didn't care, then why the fuck are they offering their opinions? In hopes you can join them in eternal bliss and happiness? Or revolt in non conformist fashions which is really just a way to show non conformist conformity amongst societies rejects.( i.e they want to find other people to help them because they can't stand being alone.) teh paradox? We will not conform!.....wait, we?
Oh, and if you don't give a crap about other people then fuck off, we don't give a damn about you either, so leave us to our materialistic, pathetic useless lives and do something useful with yours.(cutting yourself doesn't count.)

 

[DragunovHUN]

How can i stop freaking people out?

I'm saying this in all seriousness, with no bad intentions. It's genuinely my honest answer to your question so don't take it as an insult PLEASE. Maybe you should drop this overdone "nobody likes me boo hoo hoo" attitude. Here take a look at this:
First sentence:

Ok ok i get it... I dont fit in, i do understand these things. but i try so hard to make people like me and all i get is a face full of shit.

Last sentence:

sorry again for being a waste of space

See what i mean?

 

[Straitjacketeering]

Shoot yourself, No I'm kidding. I was exactly the same way, one do not talk about video games to people who don't bring them up first and don't HARP on it when they try and talk about other things, most of the time I stay quiet and reply only when it deems necessary making my own topics relate to theirs to make it seem like I am genuinely listing to their comments and taking their opinions into count.

 

[Lullabye]

whoops, I forgot that this thread is for trisarahbitch....tops, i meant tops.
You are really arrogant. Maybe thats why people don't love you.
Lets get some facts straight.
1) people do not = shit. You're a person to. If you say, " well then i'm shit too!" then yes you are. If you think you're shit people will get that vibe from you and avoid you like you are a steaming pile of poo.
2) Please, please try, when you look at a crowd, not to see it, not them but her and him and her. When you see you're friends hanging out do you think them? No, you see the individuals, not the group. at least not in the same way as the mob in the cafeteria when lunch is on.
3) I can't talk to crowds but to individuals I'm fine. So don't say sheep, say sheep.(this probably would work better if sheep wasn't both plural and singular.) You say you're smart, but your friends are better then you. That's a good thing. I would'nt want too hang out with people below me (figuratively speaking of course.) Unless your a leader type in which case go find some stupid people to look up to you, you're in high school so I know you can find at least 1.
4) Don't be thankful for what you got. I hate that, makes me wanna fucking burn down churches or synagogues or something religious. Be happy. If a fuck like me can find happiness by simply cloud gazing then you can find happiness too.

 

[bmf185]

Laugh more.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists

It could be zebra cum you don't know!

 

[Keewa]

Firstly, step back and re-examine yourself. You miht not want to change, but you're going to have to, why do you want to stay miserable anyhow?

 

[chronobreak]

.
Tip 2: 90% of people are idiots. 5% will make you feel stupid without even trying.

I would say do the opposite of this. If you want to fit in, it doesn't help to just label people right off as stupid, especially 90 percent of them. An elitist mentality won't get you very far with anybody.