Hitting... Women

Nathaniel Grey

New member
Dec 18, 2013
Recently I went to see The Wolf of Wall Street. Easily one of the most hilarious movies I've seen in a long time. I was completely engrossed in the movie until one specific point. It was the scene where Nyomi tells Jordan that she is divorcing him and plans to take the kids. Jordan then reacts as we expect him to and the couple begins to argue. But then Nyomi slaps Jordan. Jordan in turn slaps her and entire audience did a deep *inhale. Immediately, in my mind, I understood what people were bothered by, but I could not comprehend the why. I've been raised from two schools of thought. The first, from my grandmother who gave me explicit directions that if anyone ever messed with me I was allowed to knock them out. The second is from my step-mother who told me I'm allowed to do the same thing, as in the first school, but not with women. I asked her, "why?" She responded "Because I said so". Back then I simply had to accept that answer, but I'm older now.

Now before you go posting this is NOT a debate about whether it is right or wrong to hit women. I don't care about your opinions in that regard since I already know how I feel about the issue. What I'm looking for, explicity might I add, is a reason not to do it. Those of you who deem it wrong please tell me why. I want to know the logic behind this train of thought. Don't simply tell me "Because." Don't tell me about how you personally don't do it. Or how it irks you the wrong way. I'm looking for a logical argument. (And no, just because I wish to hear the reasons behind the second school of thought doesn't mean there is something inherently wrong with the first school.) One thing though, whatever your reason may be, if it does not follow the above requirements or is in any way demeaning to women I will not accept it.


Oct 28, 2013
If someone escalates an argument by slapping you, you can either exercise restraint or slap them back, it's your choice. If they put their full force behind the slap, you should feel free to do the same. Other than that, I can't think of a situation in which I'd hit someone. Words are usually more fun.

That's about as logical as I can make it, given that hitting someone is not a logical course of action to decide upon in a disagreement.


and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Goat 🐐
Mar 31, 2010
Well, one reason not to hit back might be that if the authorities get involved, chances are they'll assume the man was the aggressor, especially in domestic situations, and you could find yourself in legal hotwater if you don't have any good witnesses to back up your side of the story. Some would say hitting back isn't worth the risk of an assault charge, especially as on average women are physically weaker than men so restraining the assailant wouldn't be too hard in most cases.


Jan 4, 2010
United States
No one should be hitting anyone, anyway. An intelligent, socially advanced species should not need to resort to slapping each other around when words aren't getting them what they want. If someone slaps you because of an argument, you should be the bigger person and refuse to retaliate. It makes no difference what their gender is. Now, if you're going to slap them no matter what in this hypothetical situation, the only reason I'd see it more troubling to slap a woman as a man is simply because, generally, men are physically stronger. However, if you don't slap them any harder than they slapped you, then I don't see an issue beyond the fact that you just slapped someone for a (probably) stupid reason.

Amethyst Wind

New member
Apr 1, 2009
If I get slapped, it'll sting but won't cause lasting harm.

I won't retaliate after the first slap, but I will warn whoever it was that that is the only free shot they get. If they do it again, I will move to ensure that they do not attempt it a third time.

That's the thing about violence. It should be used to end a physical confrontation, not for superiority or the like. Make it so the attacker can no longer attack/is no longer willing to attack, then stop.

This is all conjecture, as I haven't been in this situation since high school, and make an effort not to associate with those who believe violence to be the correct course of action, but that's probably how I'll handle it.


New member
Mar 30, 2011
Is physical escalation of verbal arguments really still a thing in some parts of civilized society? I don't really see it done where I live, except by the thugs in the crime-ridden parts of the city. I mean, I suppose it happens in domestic situations because the two parties are behind closed doors, but I can't imagine it happening in public.

If someone delivered a single slap to me in the course of an argument, I'd probably just be confused. It's like...if someone aggressively sneezed on me as part of an argument. I'd just be like wtf?? I'd say the best reason not to retaliate against a single slap is because you're a civilized human being who presumably wants to avoid escalating an argument into physical violence if possible.


A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
A reason not to do it? Well if word gets out chances are you'll be branded as a misogynist and a wifebeater. And it also has all the historical burden behind it, when slapping a woman was a sign of oppression and control as well as a spontaneous act of anger.

But I'm in the school of thought that there's little reason to hit anyone. If, however, you do have a reason (like self defense for instance), feel free to use as much force as necessary to repel your attacker, be it a man or a woman. During times of growing equality between sexes, hitting a woman shouldn't be viewed as its own act, but as just hitting a person in general. Which is a dick move to do.


New member
Jul 17, 2011
Slapping isn't something worth fighting back over. (Slaps are really slow and telegraphed, they're pretty easy to block, if they try it a second time, block it)

I view the "Don't Hit Women" as more of a call to restraint then an absolute. And honestly, a whole lot of guys in the world do need
to exercise a lot more restraint.

Now if it's a case of self-defense as in your life is threatened, it's alright to hit back guy or girl.


Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
Why are you hitting people? You shouldn't do that. Hitting people is bad. D:

So I disagree with you from the start when you mention that you were allowed to knock kids out that mess with you in school, girl or not.


Reprogrammed Spambot
Nov 24, 2012
Equality has repercussions. Many of the women I'm around regularly are in fact bigger than me. I'm 5'11, 200lbs, in the American midwest. So one could imagine that meeting women 6ft or taller, that can throw a punch and are physically imposing would be difficult. But not me. A slap, while shocking, is not in and of itself a threat, just a reaction. As mentioned, it's a telegraphed move, so if you don't wanna be slapped, duck. But if one such woman was to ball up her fist and take a swing, I would respond in kind, but more to incapacitate, not to injure.


New member
Feb 13, 2011
This thread should be called "Hitting women back who hit you first"

First off, I've never been in an argument with women I was in a relationship with where it got physical.

In the case where it did happen, and a woman slaps me first, I think it's perfectly reasonable to slap her back. Of course I wouldn't come anywhere close to using my full strength.

It's mainly just to show her that she can't expect to hit me with no repercussions.

And that's what it all comes down to. A woman should never believe that it's OK to hit a man, especially if she believes that he can't hit her back because she's a "lady."


New member
Aug 22, 2009
We can all say what we intend to do in the situation, but we wouldn't know for sure. You're already angry and upset, and then you get hit. In the thirty seconds afterwards, to say you aren't in your right mind is an understatement.

However, I've always been of the position that women don't get some sort of untouchable status in a fight. So whilst I would say that you weren't to be violent if you could help it, after the event, it shouldn't be viewed that it was somehow more wrong for the man to hit the woman than for the woman to hit the man. Both are equally regrettable.


Sep 9, 2010
Personally I think the whole idea of hitting someone back cause they hit you is retarded regardless of gender.

Just my personal point of view. Don't ever put your hands on someone unless you plan to kill them.

Suffice to say though, if anyone is ever violent they're shit heels.


Beloved Tyrant
Mar 15, 2008
I'm going with what some others have already stated:

Unless I fear for my life (or the lives of others), I will not hit period. Man, woman, transgender, no gender; I don't care, I won't fight.

This is half because I don't want to hurt anyone but also because I don't want to hurt myself. Your hands are awfully brittle and using them to punch one of the hardest bones in the human body (my opponents head) is a good way to break my hand. I'm not a trained fighter; I don't know what I'm doing out there so why risk it?

If it comes down to it and I have to fight, I'll hit anyone anywhere. I will kick a dude in the ding-dong or poke a lady in the eye for if I've gotten to the point where I have to fight, I am afraid for my life and I will end it as quickly as humanly possible with no regards for the damage I do to my opponent.


Elite Member
Feb 22, 2012
It's a hangover from when women were considered the weaker, more delicate sex who needed to be protected.

In terms of domestic violence I would imagine it also has to do with disliking the idea of a (stereotypically) much larger, much physically stronger man taking out his anger on a smaller target who couldn't realistically fight back, plus there are connotations of a husband "owning" his wife and being allowed to do whatever he wants to her (bear in mind that until relatively recently it was largely believed that it wasn't possibly for a man to rape his partner, for example).

That said, as a woman I have always found the "never hit girls under any circumstances" rule insulting. If a woman starts a fight she shouldn't be able to waltz off without any consequences solely because of her gender. Not that it's something to be proud of, but I've been in fights with people of both genders. The man I fought with was perfectly justified in hitting me back, even if he was in the wrong overall (from my point of view, anyway :p ).

*standard disclaimer about how ideally no one should be hitting anyone in the first place*


Dec 24, 2011
Slapping people, just in general, is stupid. If you aren't willing to at least land a punch, you shouldn't be doing anything physical at all.

Here, let Nicolas Cage demonstrate:


The Wykydtron

"Emotions are very important!"
Sep 23, 2010
I haven't been in that sort of situation since school years ago and i've only ever been slapped once. I was shocked that the chick would slap me over something so petty (she was trying to take my seat!) so I never really thought to hit back. I would never hit anyone at all if I could help it, even in retaliation. I'm not even the type to flip out in anger either. In fact if someone told me they had done something terrible like, I dunno slept with my girlfriend or what have you, I am sure I would take it in stride and barely react even if I was upset over it.

Not that I would do much damage anyway, i'm scrawny as fuck since I don't really exercise and I miss entirely too many meals for no reason. What can I say? I hate leaving the house. You people with proper social lives have no idea what you're missing, I just went 9/0 with Lina lvl 16 with an Aghanim's and Bloodstone by 25 minutes. The fucking Laguna Blade oneshots were hilarious. Try doing that when you're off in town doing whatever it is people do in the evenings outside.


New member
Dec 28, 2008
Hitting someone who is weaker than you out of anger is disgusting. It isn't self defense and it isn't justifiable. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If someone is weaker than you, and you have the potential to cause greater harm by hitting them than they you, to hit them is pathetic and wrong. They were wrong to hit you in the first place, and it makes them a bad person. But by retaliating you are automatically worse.