Homophobisms

[Eamar]

I've never knowingly been hit on by a gay guy. That may have something to do with the fact that I'm a woman...

It is frustrating how a lot of people seem to assume that just because they find out a friend of the same gender as them is gay, he/she must automatically fancy them, but it's not the end of the world. You can imagine how fun it was/how many egos got bruised when I came out as bi back in school. Suddenly I "fancied" just about everyone I ever spent any time with

I don't really get why it has to be such a huge issue for some people though. Just treat it the same way you would if anyone else you weren't attracted to hit on you. Doesn't have to be (much) more awkward than that.

 

[Lethos]

I think one problem is that everyone has different definitions of hitting on. Some people have some pretty loose definitions: "This gay guy is hugging me. Shit he's hitting on me."

 

[MetalMagpie]

I may actually have been on the other end of this situation!

I had a real "ground, please swallow me" moment in my late teens. It was past midnight, I'd had a couple of drinks, and I'd ended up sat next to this absolutely gorgeous girl.

I was doing really well - keeping it casual - when something made me blurt out, "This is going to sound weird, but you have amazing legs."

She didn't bat an eyelid. She just said "Thanks" in a fairly neutral tone, then sat waiting to see what I'd say next.

I chickened out and changed the subject.

Hitting on guys is so much less stressful than hitting on girls because I know the odds are in my favour. And even if I do end up making moves on a gay guy, they tend to be really understanding. (It's only happened to me once, and he was almost apologetic!)

 

[latenightapplepie]

I've never hit on a straight guy. It's too awkward. I just find out what someone's orientation is first, before I make any kind of move.

 

[Yopaz]

Honestly I think I might have freaked out a little if a guy tried to hit on me. Nothing against homosexuals, I just have a a problem with getting hit on in general. I think I might have freaked out more if a girl tried since with a guy I could just say I wasn't gay and that would be the end of it.

 

[Palademon]

The only gay guy I know did quite frequently try to grab my junk and asked mutual friends about whether or not I'd be good at sex.

I was ok with it.

 

[viranimus]

Well I have been hit on by gay men in the past on multiple occasions. Its a fairly disturbing experience if you happen to not be gay, because you have to wonder what "vibe" are you giving off that is kicking on gaydar. But, I try to look at it with the old logic of "Just because you do not wish to go to the party does not mean its not nice to be invited" and civily decline.

But its not always about the assumption of the hetero. Some gay men are aggressive about their sexuality. I used to work with one gay individual who once stated "Any guy is only a 6 pack away from a gay encounter" and was aggressive in pursuing that ideology. He gleefully admitted on how many straight guys he nailed. Some gay men like the challenge. I have also been informed by gay friends that this is not an uncommon theme amongst part of the gay community, though it is frowned upon. But still it is No different than any other sexual predilection. The people like what they like and will go to any ends they feel needed to satisfy their personal niche.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I was hit on by a Bi guy at one point...didn't really go anywhere from there though. I've never really experimented before honestly and was somewhat open in the before time. Not that I'm anti but because I'm taken. Yay monogamy!

 

[Ando85]

A straight guy gives his 2 cents when they are soon to be about a gay person.

What.

This sentence makes no sense at all matey.

Anyway, as for your post - I am a straight guy and in university a gay guy who was in my circle of friends used to constantly hit on me when he was drunk. Really uncomfortable, but nothing worth getting upset over.

Meant to say "A straight guy gives his 2 cents when he is soon to be around a gay person."

 

[Fiad]

Bi guy here, only time I hit on a straight guy is when I am messing with them and they know I am messing with them. Guy I do it the most to has a girlfriend and she just laughs and says we would make a good couple.

 

[Something Amyss]

A straight guy gives his 2 cents when they are soon to be around a gay person. These guys must have extremely inflated egos. They think just because he is gay he is automatically going to hit on him. It is always fun to tell the homophobe not to flatter himself. I have never been hit on by a gay guy. In fact I've never seen a gay guy hit on a straight guy period. Why would they? Have you ever encountered someone like this?

I think Scott Thompson (as Buddy Cole) said it best: "I mean, why is it always the big smelly guys who think all [gays] want them?"

 

[darron13]

Homophobia in straight males: The fear that a gay man will treat them the way they treat women.

I'm gay and it's stupid. I've encountered it, and I did indeed enjoy telling him not to flatter himself.
It's depressing, really...

 

[thedoclc]

-Snipped as not relevant-

But its not always about the assumption of the hetero. Some gay men are aggressive about their sexuality. I used to work with one gay individual who once stated "Any guy is only a 6 pack away from a gay encounter" and was aggressive in pursuing that ideology. He gleefully admitted on how many straight guys he nailed. Some gay men like the challenge. I have also been informed by gay friends that this is not an uncommon theme amongst part of the gay community, though it is frowned upon. But still it is No different than any other sexual predilection. The people like what they like and will go to any ends they feel needed to satisfy their personal niche.

This behavior is identical to the behavior of a great deal of straight men with regard to women. If this behavior is unacceptable toward one group, it should be considered just as unacceptable toward the other. However, most men will laugh off their buddy who brags about all the women he has had sex with and who goes after every woman he can, but will then turn around and consider the behavior of a gay man doing the same to be deviant.

As a heterosexual male, I just politely inform a gay man that I'm straight. This doesn't change my future behavior toward the other man. I likewise react to finding out that a woman is a lesbian by backing off and acting as would a platonic friend. I've found that the "overly aggressive gay male" is pretty goddamn rare.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

You used the word "homophobia", but I think you mean people that hate gay people, not people that are afraid of them?

I have been hit on by a lot of gay guys, and one lanky skeletor looking gay guy even slipped me G at a party once. Luckily my friends took care of me, cause I couldn't even walk by myself after I drank the stuff.

 

[launchpadmcqwak]

that would be sweet

 

[Zen Toombs]

A really good friend of mine is bi, and he often jokes that he 'would'.

I can't tell if he's joking, so it's kinda awkward.

If you said that to a girl, would you be joking?

There's your answer.

 

[Zen Toombs]

Homophobia in straight males: The fear that a gay man will treat them the way they treat women.

Very well put Darron, especially seeing as most of the guys who would would say "homophobisms" would likely treat women like garbage.

In defense of the straight male, I will say that most many at least some of my straight male friends wouldn't ever treat a girl like that.

The only gay guy I know did quite frequently try to grab my junk and asked mutual friends about whether or not I'd be good at sex.

I was ok with it.

Impressive.

 

[darron13]

Homophobia in straight males: The fear that a gay man will treat them the way they treat women.

Very well put Darron, especially seeing as most of the guys who would would say "homophobisms" would likely treat women like garbage.

In defense of the straight male, I will say that most many at least some of my straight male friends wouldn't ever treat a girl like that.

The only gay guy I know did quite frequently try to grab my junk and asked mutual friends about whether or not I'd be good at sex.

I was ok with it.

Impressive.

Indeed, obviously not *all* straight men are like that, I did not mean to imply it. But from my experience most homophobes tend to treat women like crap, I don't know how widespread that is, but it's a trend I notice.

This is why I consider someone's reaction to gay people important before considering becoming friends with them. A person's outlook on the topic can say alot about their personality...

 

[alandavidson]

I've been hit on by gay guys. It's not a big deal to me. I let them know that I'm straight, and usually wind up having pretty good conversations with them.

A guy getting violent because another man hits on him needs to re-evaluate his security in his sexuality.

 

[inquisitorJL]

I am gay. However the only time I've actually hit on someone I knew was straight was before I realised that (or even felt attracted to anyone, I was a late bloomer in that sense). I did it with the distinct intention of freaking someone out because they were a massive homophobe. Anybody who could seriously say that they think all gays should be killed because they are are frightened, and i quote, of being 'raped by a 6ft bisexual black man in a dress" deserves everything they get.

As for getting hit on by ... anyone. It has happened, I've been told it's happened, I'm just too socially awkward to tell. */le shrug*