Honesty is the Best Poly-cy (Except When It Isn?t)
Love advice for the confused and clueless.
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Love advice for the confused and clueless.
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Honesty is the Best Poly-cy (Except When It Isn?t)
- Thread starter Lara Crigger
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Hmmm, seriously? I think I could give better relationship advice than that. Plus it is a pretty big leap to assume all his hobbies are D&D from that question. And it doesn't take into consideration where he lives, if he lives in a small town, it could be that all the ladies are taken.
No offence meant here, as I only scanned the article. But it concerns me that the article is credited to Susan Arendt when a disclaimer at the bottom reveals it's written by Lara Crigger. Shouldn't she be given the byline credit then? Forgive me if I don't understand the Escapist's editorial policies, but that seems like it could be at least misleading.
Well this is an odd addition to the escapist content.
But I'll admit that second guy is hilarious, I want to see more freaky stories
But I'll admit that second guy is hilarious, I want to see more freaky stories
This is a bit of an odd addition - and I completely agree with Sabrestar that the byline should be altered. In terms of the content itself, I can really only see this working if there is a) a firm policy of concentrating on relationship questions that intersect with the main focuses of the site (gaming/tech - i.e., find a niche); and b) enough letters of sufficient quality meeting that first requirement.
Failing that, I don't think the venture makes any sense in an internet that already has things like Dan Savage and Nerve.com.
That said, I did think the answers were fine (especially in reply to the second letter).
Failing that, I don't think the venture makes any sense in an internet that already has things like Dan Savage and Nerve.com.
That said, I did think the answers were fine (especially in reply to the second letter).
As a now married guy I was just like the first guy. Had no idea where to look and my time was full of things I was doing to either stay out of the house or save money and game.bdcjacko said:
I wish someone had told me three years ago that the woman I would marry was a girl I had been playing WoW with for years.
I like this article. I am sure there are people here that would like the convenience and advice.
As to BDC, really man? You seem angry bro?
I don't think the first question was answered very carefully. For example, my University had an 8:1 male to female ratio. It didn't matter how many classes outside my major I took. It didn't make a difference how many extra curricular courses I enrolled in. It didn't matter how many salsa dances I went to; I went to suit and tie formal parties in hotel ball rooms (seriously) to dive bars that didn't even have a compelete ceiling - any girl I met and got along with had a boyfriend.
At a point you just give up.
At a point you just give up.
I'm really not vibing this relationship advice, it seems shallow and artificial.
I'd advise the first guy to try online dating, might turn out that some of the girls in his area are just as shy as he is, and furthermore will allow him to meet women he knows have the same things in mind as he does, leaving none of the awkward moments when you try and work out whether or not she's actually really busy, or just avoiding you. Online dating has lost a lot of it's stigma over the recent years, and advances in technology and psychology have made it even easier to find good matches.
The second guy to work out which of the girls he wants to keep, his wife isn't happy seeing him with his girlfriend, he isn't happy seeing his wife with other men, it looks like polymony isn't working. Either he loses the wife, or he loses the girlfriend. If he chooses his wife, he could use the girlfriend as leverage to get her to become exclusive. Truth be told, if he wasn't comfortable with multiple partners, he should never have agreed to it, and his wife should never have pushed for it.
Relationships aren't about boundaries they are about mutual feelings of looking out for one another. If it comes to the point where you have to pick between letting the one you love go, or letting the one you love hurt you, the first is always the better option. Don't try to hold on to something that's already gone.
But I won't start raging until she starts telling people to "Just be themselves"... That one really annoys me.
I'd advise the first guy to try online dating, might turn out that some of the girls in his area are just as shy as he is, and furthermore will allow him to meet women he knows have the same things in mind as he does, leaving none of the awkward moments when you try and work out whether or not she's actually really busy, or just avoiding you. Online dating has lost a lot of it's stigma over the recent years, and advances in technology and psychology have made it even easier to find good matches.
The second guy to work out which of the girls he wants to keep, his wife isn't happy seeing him with his girlfriend, he isn't happy seeing his wife with other men, it looks like polymony isn't working. Either he loses the wife, or he loses the girlfriend. If he chooses his wife, he could use the girlfriend as leverage to get her to become exclusive. Truth be told, if he wasn't comfortable with multiple partners, he should never have agreed to it, and his wife should never have pushed for it.
Relationships aren't about boundaries they are about mutual feelings of looking out for one another. If it comes to the point where you have to pick between letting the one you love go, or letting the one you love hurt you, the first is always the better option. Don't try to hold on to something that's already gone.
But I won't start raging until she starts telling people to "Just be themselves"... That one really annoys me.
One day after the two totally forgettable new videos by Firefilm (Drinking Games and No Right Answer), we wind up with this. Has June gotten an April Fools week that we weren't informed of?? Because frankly, none of the new series I've seen this week will be worth a second look.
QFT...itf cho said:
That said, a lot of new content seems to go nowhere, as the steady stream of one-season shows that have been on recently proves. (doraleous, game dogs, CMM, show about games show, a good knights quest)
Being friends with a woman is like being friends with a really lame guy. He whines about his fuckbuddies all the time, he doesn't like the movies you like because they have tits and blood in them, he won't help you fix your car because it will get his hands greasy and he won't help you move furniture because he is too wimpy.
There is no advantage to having women as friends but tons of disadvantage. However there are several advantages to faking a friendship. A. you might get lucky if she gets desperate or feeling bad or gets drunk enough to overlook your flaws, and B. She is likely to have female friends into whose pants you could potentially get.
The correct course of action is to pretend to care as long as it doesn't require you to make an effort.
Translation from woman language to English: Our culture requires men to do 100% of the work, accept 100% of the social/rejection risk, and commit 100% of the action responsibility. Accept that in order to "play the game" you need to stick your neck out for women to chop off. Because if you are asking advice you probably aren't attractive enough for any woman to even consider making the slightest bit of effort to create a relationship with you.
We have to edit these questions for space, but in the original submission, the poster had said he'd tried online dating, and hadn't had any success with it. Now I wish I'd kept that line in.Flying Dagger said:
Now this is just cruel. Starting out with an email from someone who epitomizes almost all the users of this forum, & following it with someone in a situation that every user of this forum wishes they were in.
I'm now going to eat a massive bucket of lard to get over my feelings of :foreveralone: this whatever it is has brought up.
edit: have now also learnt that Laura Crigger is an anagram of Larger Cigar, among other amusing potential combinations that further hit home the cruel joke I now feel I am, by association, the butt of.
I'm now going to eat a massive bucket of lard to get over my feelings of :foreveralone: this whatever it is has brought up.
edit: have now also learnt that Laura Crigger is an anagram of Larger Cigar, among other amusing potential combinations that further hit home the cruel joke I now feel I am, by association, the butt of.
Fair enough on the first one then, I guess without full information it's hard to give judgement. Without personal experience of having an 8-1 ratio university, or living in a small town, I guess it's a bit harder to comment on someone who is struggling to find love. Though other suggestions such as taking some time out to go travelling, or perhaps even find somewhere new to live: if you really are affected by the lack of female companionship then this is always an alternative. I struggled for a long time to meet women, having most of my romantic encounters on holidays, and the only time I managed to get over this was 1. getting a job in a female dominated workplace, (though I can understand this isn't always an option) and 2. going off to uni.Lara Crigger said:
Can I ask if you are incredibly masculinist or incredibly bitter? An outlook like that shows how little you understand women. I'd also like to apologise on behalf of my gender to anyone reading your rant.rembrandtqeinstein said:
Seriously, it sounds like he got that rant from a trite stand up comic. Absolutely ridiculous.Flying Dagger said:
That said, the part of his post that you didn't quote (about it seeming like guys have to take all the initiative) isn't ENTIRELY wrong. I mean, it isn't close to right either, but I can definitely see where he's coming from.
Well that's a simple case of supply and demand: if a woman is looking for a partner, and there are five that have made the effort, and one she really has to work at, she's not going to give the one that's a lot of effort a look in, as long as guys demand more than women can supply some guys are going to make this extra effort to reap the benefits.Avatar Roku said:
HOWEVER I was not going to start arguing the entire idea of economics to someone who thinks friendship is having someone to watch "tit's n blood 5" with.