How best to ruin Mass Effect 3

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Formica Archonis

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Nov 13, 2009
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STEP 1: Write MaleShep's lines like Duke Nukem.
STEP 2: Write FemShep's lines like June Cleaver.
STEP 3: Swap the scripts.
 

Ir0n Squid

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May 17, 2010
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Simple: The Illusive Man...is your father. Or at least a distant cousin...by marriage...twice removed...recognized only on Volus occupied worlds.

And this:
Tim Mazzola said:
Garrus dies as part of the story.
 

johnstamos

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May 17, 2011
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they could make you pick up 50 million guns and attachments like the first game,
bring back the mako, keep the planet anal probe, thermal clips.
but i guess the biggest thing would be for there to be a piss easy final boss fight like Mass effect 2 seriously the entire impossible through the collector ship was 50 thorns in your side hard and awesome, then u fight a big metal skeleton with glowing shoot these here points.
do you know how many times i died fighting saren in the first game, neither do i but it was a lot.

but as far as the epic story of the game best way to bumfudge the whole thing i think would be to alter the concept of the reapers, there massive power and seemingly endless numbers being made to seem any less monolithic as they have been previously portrayed, when you destroyed sovereign in the first game after scampering all over the citadel exterior up to that final cinematic of it being obliterated, it was awesome. i might cry a bit if i end up flying the collector ship blasting reapers space invaders style.
 
May 5, 2010
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-The game opens with Shepard about to take a group photo of the Mass Effect 2 crew. As all your surviving members group together, a massive Reaper arm smashes through the ceiling, killing them all instantly.
-Gathering resources is now done by filling out the proper acquisition paperwork. They are each 15 pages of spreadsheets.
-Saren miraculously returns, with no indication of his...injuries...other then an eye-patch.
-Enact the "Replacable Gun" system. Rather then just replacing heat sinks, the player will simply replace the entire gun once it overheats.
-Switch to the "Fable" method of NPC interaction. (see: "farting at them")
 

thenamelessloser

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Jan 15, 2010
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Also referring back to my idea that the Mass Effect games could be really an in universe MMORPG. The Illusive Man is a hacker player . He doesn't want humans to loose because unlike the majority of players in Mass Effect he finds the hard working humans and how they are destroying the game balance and preventing the Reapers from destroying civilizations and creating a restart as refreshing. This also explains why he cares so little about the suffering caused by the Cerebus experiments since he still sees all the sapient characters in the game as AI.
 

thenamelessloser

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Jan 15, 2010
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itchcrotch said:
Dirty Hipsters said:
Kahunaburger said:
Doing everything people in this sub-forum [http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/category/325/index] want you to do. Warning: click on threads at own risk.
Why the hell does the english option have a CANADIAN flag next to it?!
i know! i'm seeing it a lot, what's with that?

Because Bioware is a Canadian company I guess.
 
Sep 14, 2009
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everytime you start as a female shepard it shuts off the game and your console/pc


when you do roll male, and you start the game, your ship is attacked AGAIN although this time tali's facemask gets ripped off by grunt being a double agent for the reapers and her face gets super puffy and explodes everywhere and the camera gets a super close up of her face before that happens, and then garrus beats you in the back of the head and drags you off to the reapers with grunt and you get "liquified" into the next human reaper.


and scene.....
 

thenamelessloser

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Jan 15, 2010
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whiteblood said:
I would have Conrad Verner come (from the grave if necissary) back to kill Shepard's romance option and turn everything into a morbid, emo quest of vengance, with the Reapers eating popcorn and playing rock paper scissors with planets.

And you better believe that the cute little space hampster from ME2 is PLOTTING THE WHOLE THING!
That sounds awesome to me actually.
 

Romblen

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Oct 10, 2009
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At one point, have Shepard be faced with an impossible situation, only to be solved by everyone, everywhere caring. By using a synchronized care bear stare at the Reapers. That would be the ending to the series. The game would only be two hours long.

That, or make the game more "light heart-ed"
 

Yeager942

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Oct 31, 2008
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this isnt my name said:
Ok before I post how the fuck do I type this ?
Flip your keyboard upside down and press t.

OT: Turn the entire game based around vehicular mayhem ala Twisted Metal.....but inside the Mako.
 

Exile714

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Feb 11, 2009
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After a satisfying and thought provoking first 3/4ths of the game, rush to finish and end up totally dropping the last 1/4th. Storylines that once showed promise are dropped, ignored and in one case turned into an incomprehensible section where you play as a tiny flying robot (which controls like a human character) trying to save a planet by deactivating some device, only to be zapped by another, bigger flying robot (who happens to be the Shadow Broker) never to be heard from again.

Then, after the final boss fight, instead of a satisfying ending you get a chance to ask the boss questions about the future. After she is done answering your questions, she falls into a pit or something.

There are two endings to the game, one of which involves the Normandy 3 falling into a chasm, the other involves you flying off to fight some new enemy. The rest of the cast, each with their respective story arcs unresolved, are never heard from again. Also, record dialogue which should have been used in a proper ending, leave it on the game discs, but make sure not to include it in the game.

Then, 6 years later, make an MMO set a few hundred years in the future and pretend the game never happened.

Oh, wait, they already did that with KOTOR 2? OK, so just take Bioware out of the equation and let a third party develop the game, then release it too early and botch the ending another way.
 

Nickompoop

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Jan 23, 2011
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Easton Dark said:
The game opens with Tali and Garrus being killed by Hanar Volus.
I dunno...that sounds fairly plausible. Have you seen those Volus? Machines of death, I kid you not.

OT:
1. Garrus is a same-sex romance option. I've got nothing against gay people, but Garrus? Yeah, he ain't gay.
2. Not showing us the females of any species besides Quarians and Humans. Seriously, we have yet to see a female Turian , Krogan (though, with the whole genophage thing, that's understandable), Volus, Elcor, Salarian, Batarian, Vorcha, or Drell in either game. Asari and Hanar (I believe) are mono-gendered, so they don't count. Bioware better show us a female alien of at least one other race in ME3, or I'll be pissed.
3. The Reapers are, in fact, a myth. Harbinger and Sovereign were the last of their kind.
4. They work a nyancat into the plot somehow.
 

Zeriu

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Jun 9, 2011
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TheDarkEricDraven said:
Zeriu said:
TheDarkEricDraven said:
What does everyone have against the Volus? I think their awesome...and so would boy!Tali! Anyway...It would be wierd if Blue Oyster Cult leant a few songs to the-Damn it, that would be awesome. I guess I can't think of a way to ruin it.
I can tell you why i hate the idea of Volus in two words: space jews. It's an incredibly racist... well,race. Every goddamn space opera has to have a race of weak, money-grubbing aliens.
It is however just a theory. But if I see just one Volus comedian I just want everyone to know i called it.
Jews? They seem more like semi-rabbid jackles. How are they money-grubbing?
They're very good with money, only care about money and are cowardly. Sounds like space jews to me.
 

Azdron

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Nov 21, 2010
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cthulhumythos said:
just kidding.

i'd really make it so you have to probe each reaper to death and you have to do it 200 reapers in a specific time frame. and you only do damage on high deposits.
Oh man, you are so evil.. seriously man, do you eat kittens for breakfast or something?
 

MortalForNow

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Jan 10, 2010
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The game opens and Shepard commits suicide. Unavoidable despite how you played him. Once the title screen comes up and the opening cutscene is over your protagonist for the rest of the game is not anyone on your regular crew from the last two games... it's an elcor. Imagine the dialogue options...

Or, they could annoy every fan who's building up anticipation for seeing Tali's face by killing her in the final section of the game and sending her off into deep space or disintegrating her body with fire without a single glimpse. Though the initial idea proposed in this thread poses a more interesting way for mass alienation of Tali supporters.
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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Nickompoop said:
2. Not showing us the females of any species besides Quarians and Humans. Seriously, we have yet to see a female Turian , Krogan (though, with the whole genophage thing, that's understandable), Volus, Elcor, Salarian, Batarian, Vorcha, or Drell in either game. Asari and Hanar (I believe) are mono-gendered, so they don't count. Bioware better show us a female alien of at least one other race in ME3, or I'll be pissed.
There's at least one female Krogan in ME3. She was in one of the gameplay previews.

Bioware were being rather coy about it though. She was mostly concealed.
 

TeeBs

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Oct 9, 2010
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Renegade/Paragon/Fart-Uncontrollably triangle.

Actually, that would make the game.