How do I convince her games have merit?

[TerribleAssassin]

Make her play Deus Ex 1, or tell her you enjoy them dearly.


Either shall work my freind.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Grow a pair and make a decision you wither go along with what she tells you or you have an argument, ask whats going to cause more damage to your relationship in the long run? Your mom sounds dead set and guessing your not exactly old enough to make any major changes ot your living circumstances, you wont convince her through civil conversation.

You're a human being and allowed fun lifes really fucking short and the only place studying, working and worrying is going to get you is an earlier grave, man up and tell her how you want to live and to get the fuck out of the way.

 

[rokkolpo]

you won't ever convince her, she's just being a stubborn parent.

 

[TPiddy]

Try using other people as an example.... there are plenty of successful, well adjusted normal people who play video games. I'm one of them. I've got a good job, a fiancee, a house and a car. I'm sure several other escapists are in similar situations. I'm sure some gamers out there may even be doctors and lawyers or whomever it is your mom wants you to be. Her problem is not video games themselves, her perception is that it's all you seem to want to do and it's preventing you from doing other things.

So your solution, then, would be to show her that you want to do other things or show her other people who game just as much as you do and are examples of what she wants you to become.

Being a gamer doesn't prevent you from accomplishing anything and in some situations helps with math, logic and hand-eye coordination.

 

[Lordmarkus]

My mom is dead set in scapegoating video-games for all my 'inadequacies' (no innuendo intended). She feels that all video games are useless and mind killing, even more so than television. She believe I have an 'addiction' which she has to cure, and my modest 10-hours-a-week playtime has been reduced to zero. I usually play Halo and I'm ecstatic about Reach. All my friends love it and we play together every night. Since they live far away it's a great way to spend time together and socialize. On the contrary, she sees it as antisocial and useless, so now my four-player Legendary runthrough is a three-man game and I'm stuck hearing stories of 'epic kills' the next day. How do I convince her it isn't killing my soul?

Buy any of the Total War games and say that they are for learning the bloody history of Europe. She'll leave you alone after that.

 

[Furious Styles]

That's bordering on an oxymoron.

No it isn't, haven't you ever found a film riveting and really enjoyed it despite the fact that it doesn't really hold together? The story isn't that amazing, the way its told is.

 

[countkillalot]

Ok... I suspect your mother is a reasonable person that can use logic and reason to shape her opinions. With that in mind, you need to do two things:

1. Make her read these 3 books (also read them yourself, they are quite good)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Everything-Bad-Good-You-Popular/dp/0141018682/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619497&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Knowing-psychology-information-Information/dp/0851424546/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619549&sr=8-3

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ludoliteracy-Defining-Understanding-Supporting-Education/dp/0557277914/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285619549&sr=8-5

Ask her te rethink her position on this question.

Unlike Dr. Phil and Oprah these writers are respected academics with relative credentials.

2. Set an example and show that you are a productive member of society. If your (school)work doesn't suffer that she can't blame videogames.

3. Make sure you have a quiet talk with her and present your case in the most retoric way possible.


If this does not work... well... stubborn people are just stubborn and you can always choose another hobby like boxing or skating and see how fast she'll put you back behind that 360 after you come home with a black-eye and a broken rib ( Just kidding don't do that, thats just silly)

 

[Talon Julius]

Ask her if she remembers the people who wanted to ban rock & roll. Then ask her how stupid she thought that was. If the answer is something like "That was silly", tell her she is the same type of ignorant person who is scared of anything new, or of anything changing. If she says the opposite of the previous statement, show her Extra Credits. If all else fails, go to a friends house to play Halo: Reach, or whatever else is hip at the time, she'll either miss you, or you get to be social and play video games. It's a win-win scenario.

Exactly. You can also bring up comic books too. Comic books went through the same exact thing that video games are going through now. A bunch of ignorant people took some extreme examples as the norm. Some crazy kids happened to read comics books. Some crazy kids happen to play video games. Does that mean that every child who plays video games or read comic books is crazy? No.

 

[Macgyvercas]

Show her Extra Credits?

......I'll second this idea.

Third.

If that doesn't work, nothing will.

 

[Tithe-to-Hell]

Unfortunately, your parents will be making decisions for you until you move out, no matter how much it bothers you.

However, maybe you should try reaching a compromise. Tell her that you appreciate her opinion, but at the same time it's clear she doesn't respect yours. Tell her that gaming is, in many ways, encouraging social behaviour these days for various reasons and this is the only frequent communication you get with your friends, so is it not fair to play it within reason?

See if you can agree on a half way point, like a few hours a week. In time, that might well increase when she sees how unharmful it really it.

In the end, the only way you'll really get through to her is by being respectful and reasonable. If she doesn't respond well then it's her problem, as you've given her no real reason to be angry or upset. Just try talking to her and reach a compromise, that way everyone' happy.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

It isn't a big deal if your mother blames games on all that. As long as you aren't neglecting your life to play games, then you know for a fact that games aren't to blame, and she should too, at least over time.

 

[Metropocalypse]

Sing "Still Alive" to her! Gets them every time!

 

[Mr. Mortiss]

At least video games are interactive, TV not so much.

Truth, and according to some psychological studies using CT scans, while watching television, an idividual's level of brain activity is about the same amount as being unconscious. I have no idea about video gams, but considering you have to stay aware of surroundings and listen to what's going on in the game and sometimes read, then that should actually have heightened brain activity.

 

[Madara XIII]

LOL My mom loves the old pacman so she's ok with the whole me playing a game, unless it's GOd of war 3 XD

BUt yeah, try playing a few older games with her.

My dad loves playing madden
My mom loves playing old atari games
and I love playing masterpieces of gaming

Just try to find some common ground in the genre in games with her

 

[electric discordian]

You could always state that your inadequacies are the result of a stifling and over protective mother who removes your independent thought and emasculates you. That because your peer group is distant that this is the only form of social interaction you are gaining with people you genuinely care about.

tell her you have met a girl on line, or just start buying her Freudian analysis for every birthday and Christmas up until she realises that to (misquote) Philip Larkin "They fuck you up your mum and dad!"

 

[justnotcricket]

Try to see it from your mum's perspective. If she never played videogames or was exposed to them when she was younger (like, her siblings played them or something), then she probably just doesn't understand that this is just one of your hobbies and a way for you to interact with your friends.

It would probably help (as others have mentioned) if she saw you playing something that looks more 'intellectual' sometimes. My mum never really liked the games where you 'just shoot things all the time...so violent...', but she actually joined in with LittleBigPlanet and she never minded my sister and I playing SimCity or Lemmings or anything puzzle-related back in the day. She appreciates beautiful graphics (like Assassin's creed) and good dialogue in games. Halo probably reinforces the worst stereotypes that she's heard falling off the back of the news media wagon. You don't have to stop playing Halo, but showing her that you enjoy less 'violent' games might reassure her a bit.

Try asking her (politely and non-confrontationally) exactly what it is that worries her about the games you play, and see if you can allay some of her fears. One thing that perennially worries mothers of sons (especially teenage/early20s ones) is that they have 'lost touch' with them and that their sons 'don't talk to them' any more. She may just be reacting to games as something that has taken you away from her. There are plenty of ways to reassure her that this is not the case, and talking to her about games (your hobbies) is a good way to start.

 

[cairocat]

Either stop living with your parents or suck it up if you can't create a good argument, they're your parents and if you're still young enough that they control every modicum of your life then they have every right to stop you from doing something they see as a harm to you.

I'm 13. I can't exactly just stop living with my parents.

 

[cairocat]

Either stop living with your parents or suck it up if you can't create a good argument, they're your parents and if you're still young enough that they control every modicum of your life then they have every right to stop you from doing something they see as a harm to you.

I'm 13. I can't exactly just stop living with my parents.

Way to ignore the rest of my post. But it seems you're just going to have to suck it up then.

Hey, just because I quote selectively to clarify what I'm responding to doesn't mean I ignored your post in it's entirety. If that were true, all the replies I didn't quote at all would be totally unread. I hear all your feedback and appreciate it greatly.

 

[Saltyk]

Either stop living with your parents or suck it up if you can't create a good argument, they're your parents and if you're still young enough that they control every modicum of your life then they have every right to stop you from doing something they see as a harm to you.

I'm 13. I can't exactly just stop living with my parents.

Way to ignore the rest of my post. But it seems you're just going to have to suck it up then.

Hey, just because I quote selectively to clarify what I'm responding to doesn't mean I ignored your post in it's entirety. If that were true, all the replies I didn't quote at all would be totally unread. I hear all your feedback and appreciate it greatly.

Have you tried any of the advice? If so, how'd you fair? I know I posted at least one comment on this subject.

I'm asking out of curiosity. Also, would like to hear that it went well to affirm that my faith in humanity as being generally reasonable is not misplaced. Ok, so it is, but I'd hope that at least your mom is.

 

[Ironman126]

Hit her. If that doesn't work, there are many research studies done about gaming, as previously mentioned. The University of Rochester has done a lot of that, start looking there.

Maybe reverse these two?