How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?

[Something Amyss]

If you know they're full of shite then responding is only going to lower you to their pathetic level.

Why would you make a strawman out of feces?

 

[Rebel_Raven]

Just gotta go by actions. People will likely know you well enough to back you up.

Can't really defend it otherwise, IMO.

You might be able to turn the tables, though. I mean sure, racism is usually negative, but what does it mean when someone demands special (maybe undue) benefit due to race? Or what ever other ism? I mean if they'r genuinely being mistreated, they have grounds, but if you've done them no wrong, then their claim is baseless and might be turned against them.

 

[babinro]

I've never been in a situation where this was a problem.

There's no way I could possibly prove it. I'd simply tell the person that if they trust me then they'll know that I'm genuine when I say that I'm not racist/homophobic or whatever. If they choose to believe me great. If they don't...they don't.

 

[Mad World]

By let I mean 'pass laws legalizing gay marriage.'

And what the hell is there to agree with?

I'm against gay acts; I think that they're wrong. I love gays (as I love all people). It's just that I don't agree with what they do.

I'm on the fence when it comes to whether or not I think that it should be legal. However, I am leaning toward thinking of gay marriage as something which should be legal. That way, people can make their own choice. I can still be against it.

 

[Something Amyss]

Pardon me? You wanna contextualize that statement?

What context do you need that wasn't provided in the original response?

 

[thehorror2]

You act in a way that demonstrates a lack of homophobia or racism. You can't just SAY you're not, you have to prove it. Does it take a long time? Yes, of course. But given the discrimination and oppression those groups have faced in the past, it's only fair for them to not be terribly trusting. I've gotten a reputation among my female friends on social media as a feminist, because of what I say and do, regularly, the events and charities I attend and support, and the way I come across in-person. It takes a long time to establish the pattern, but generally when people outright accuse someone of being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc, it's because they've done or said something that makes them seem that way. If this happens, explain yourself. The ball is in your court; people are under no obligation to give you the benefit of the doubt in this kind of situation.

 

[DementedSheep]

I say "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic but..." because clearly if I say it I'm not.
Joking obviously

Why were they thinking you're bigoted? There is no single I'm not a bigot answer, it's in your actions. You'll have to argue why whatever it is that is making them think you're bigoted isn't bigoted or isn't true. If they have no reason to think you're bigoted and just assume then they might have problem with bigotry themselves or really misinterpreted something. If a lot of people think you are them you might need to do some introspection.

There is a situation where "My best friends are gay..." is relevant and that's when someone claims you don't like someone because they are gay not because you just don't get a long with them.

 

[Spotteh Chocobo]

I'm a white dude from the Southern U.S. and yes I can say or do racists things sometimes. I'm sorry, I don't think I mean it. I'm gay, with gay friends; but I still say homophobic things sometimes. I'm sorry; I don't think I mean to.

That's how I handle it. Sure people get really worked up about it sometimes, but I apologize all the same. As long as I don't hurt anyone I just apologize and attempt to move on.

But looking at your posts OP, and seeing how easily you are put on the defensive in an argument; I don't think you'd like this approach.

 

[JimB]

So, any ideas? If it's not painfully obvious that you aren't of that ideology, once you're hit with the homophobia/racism card, can you refute the claim on your own?

I've never been in that situation, so I have no practical experience backing this up, but my best suggestion would be to apologize for causing offense (do not, under any circumstances, say, "I'm sorry you feel that way;" apologize for offending the other person) and ask what you can do to make it right, explaining that malice was not your intention and you don't want to repeat the same mistake in the future. Might even work.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I've never had to argue that I'm not homophobic or racist. Mostly this is because the people I deal with are homophobic/racist/etc and I'm arguing against their prejudices.

Case in point, a friend of mine told me he could not enjoy Thor because the shirtless scene totally ruined it for him. I asked him if it really bothered him that much to see a fantastic-looking guy with his shirt off. His response was to make a veiled implication that I was gay for not agreeing with him. It would be kind of hard to argue I was the homophobic one in that situation.

 

[Nieroshai]

I'm a transgendered white soli biblia Christian third-generation American of Finnish descent who believes in fiscal conservatism and social libertarianism, as well as a gamer and a singularity advocate who associates with Furry fandom. There is literally NO way anyone can fail to find something to hate about me.


HOWEVER: ultimately, I find that arguments about what one does or does not think or believe always end poorly. It's pointless to participate. And yet I do anyway, just because I get a masochistic kick out of arguing with people.

 

[Vault101]

Case in point, a friend of mine told me he could not enjoy Thor because the shirtless scene totally ruined it for him. I asked him if it really bothered him that much to see a fantastic-looking guy with his shirt off. His response was to make a veiled implication that I was gay for not agreeing with him. It would be kind of hard to argue I was the homophobic one in that situation.

the fuck?

its one thing to be homophobic...its another to be so friggin pedantic/insecure that he can't handle a shirtless guy

 

[Johnny Impact]

Case in point, a friend of mine told me he could not enjoy Thor because the shirtless scene totally ruined it for him. I asked him if it really bothered him that much to see a fantastic-looking guy with his shirt off. His response was to make a veiled implication that I was gay for not agreeing with him. It would be kind of hard to argue I was the homophobic one in that situation.

the fuck?

its one thing to be homophobic...its another to be so friggin pedantic/insecure that he can't handle a shirtless guy

Well, the story is a little longer than that. This friend of mine is a powerlifter with body image issues. He's fairly strong but doesn't look like a lifter. He was a fat kid and has carried some of it into adulthood, had problems with ***** tits, etc. He says "man candy" like Chris Hemsworth is demeaning and offensive. Really I think he's jealous that he'll never look that way no matter how hard he works.

 

[Robot Number V]

I state that I am against the actions (homosexual marriage, for example), but not the people. And, it's true. I love all people - including gays. However, that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate their actions.

Yeah, that probably isn't going to work. I have a few questions, if you don't mind:

1. What exactly do you mean by "tolerate"? How are you personally effected by the "actions" of homosexual people?

2. As a follow up, why do you care if gay people get married?

 

[Robot Number V]

By let I mean 'pass laws legalizing gay marriage.'

And what the hell is there to agree with?

I'm against gay acts; I think that they're wrong. I love gays (as I love all people). It's just that I don't agree with what they do.

I'm on the fence when it comes to whether or not I think that it should be legal. However, I am leaning toward thinking of gay marriage as something which should be legal. That way, people can make their own choice. I can still be against it.

Wait wait, you can ignore my first message. I hadn't seen the third page, sorry. Let's just jump right to this:

Why do you think "gay acts" are wrong? What makes them wrong?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

As long as you don't use the phrase "I'm not racist/homophobic/etc., but..." you shouldn't have too much of a problem.

 

[DirgeNovak]

I've never had to because I never say homophobic/racist/sexist/etcist -sounding things.

By let I mean 'pass laws legalizing gay marriage.'

And what the hell is there to agree with?

I'm against gay acts; I think that they're wrong. I love gays (as I love all people). It's just that I don't agree with what they do.

I'm on the fence when it comes to whether or not I think that it should be legal. However, I am leaning toward thinking of gay marriage as something which should be legal. That way, people can make their own choice. I can still be against it.

But it's got nothing to do with you. There's nothing there for you to be for or against. So fucking what if two people who love each other get married and do butt stuff in the privacy of their homes? No skin off your back.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Can you, even? This might be really simple to do, but I can't find any way to guard against being accused of being either of these things unless you're an ethnic minority or gay.

We've all heard that argument "My best friends are gay...", and we've all laughed at it, I've even tried using it after admitting it was cliche to a person who decided I was homophobic, but they obviously laughed it off, as they'd already made their mind up. Even though it was true, back then and still today, of the people I spend most of my time around that are not related by blood, friends, that is, literally people in my closest (only) friendship group, two of which are gay. That was a few years ago, now.

Needless to say, I was really hurt, and every so often I remember that time and get really angry/upset. But I've always wondered if there's anything better I could have said.

So, any ideas? If it's not painfully obvious that you aren't of that ideology, once you're hit with the homophobia/racism card, can you refute the claim on your own?

God, this thread is dumb.

EDIT: Just making sure you all know, no need to help me with this situation as if it was "current". This happened a while ago, and it annoyed me at the time and still annoys me, today. My only connection to this person is a facebook friendship, and we know how much those mean...

And this isn't a consistent issue for me, either! Tch...I should've made a topic about bunnies or cats or Timesplitters (however, that would receive next to no replies) or our main age-range for our greatest times as gamers.

I tend to say I've been out of Plato's cave too long to be stuck inside it. And then point out certain social issues relevant to said topic to at least show my position isn't from ignorance.

I tend to find this has two effects:
1. People take the hint.
2. They don't know who/what Plato's cave is. At which case I stop talking to them.