How do you argue that you're not homophobic/racist/etc?

[William Ossiss]

I have a... Very curious disposition. What most people would see as "eww" or "god, don't talk about that", I'm that guy who wonders things. So when my wife's brother is in town, I end asking things that should never be asked in "polite conversation". I ask things like: What is the etiquette on enemas before intercourse?

I have, essentially, learned that the sex life of heterosexuals and homosexuals is pretty much the same. There are some distinct differences, like that of the individual's personal experiences.

So how do you get around the homophobic label? Ask them questions that they think will make you barf. Simple.
Or you can give them a great big hug.

Getting called racist, on the other hand... Hard to say. If a person is so intent on labeling you as something, it's pretty hard to get around that with that individual. Other people may be more open to hearing your side, but sometimes that's impossible. The process usually begins with treating everyone around you as you, yourself, want to be treated.

Though when you get that one person that is just horrible to everyone around them... You face the impossible. Give up and simply don't talk to them.

 

[Lovely Mixture]

Basically, fuck what other people think. If they decide you're a bigot based on a small thing you did, then that's their stupidity.

I was always worried that I was racist or homophobic, then I stopped when I realized that I was having perfectly fine conversations with gays, lesbians, and minorities.

Sure, maybe deep down at the core of my thoughts I view them "differently", but as long as I don't treat them differently I think I'm ok.

 

[Headsprouter]

On social issues at least I'm a rabid liberal. Out of all the "SJW meanies want to ruin our fun" bitchthreads I've seen here in the last few months I can only think of one person on the 'justice' side of the argument who struck me as clearly just a belligerent whiner trying to prove that they were better than everyone else. From what I've seen a lot of people would call me a backwards-bending apologist, exactly the type of person who would be outraged by some innocent, inoffensive remark.
That said; I see nothing wrong with your spoilered 'offensive' comment. Not the funniest thing I've read today but clearly said in jest and without malice (as long as the subject of your comment was out of earshot). Does anyone really think that the action you mocked actually means a person is gay? If such people exist I'd better start being careful who finds out that I pee sitting down!

Your big words were intimidating and your talk of a "certain folk" had me worried I was going to receive a right arse-beating, but no, you have been very reassuring, thank you.

Can you, even?

Yes, by not using racist or homophobic slurs or arguments to cast such people in the negative. If you make the mistake of doing so you pretty much leave yourself open to be criticized for it.

No arguments, there. I have no issue with criticism.

 

[Silver]

Easy. I kiss a black guy. Does the trick every time.

WOOOOOOOWWWW, WOOOWWWW, snarky comments, WOWWWWWWWW

srsly tho das gay

Well, if you don't want to be called homophobic, you could start out by not proving the accuser correct by doing what you just did.

 

[Headsprouter]

Allow me to direct you to a quote from a wise man names Stephen Fry.

?It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.'
As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine.
'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase.
'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."


If I say something that offends someone, I don't care. If I offend a black person, big deal. If I offend a white person, big deal. I don't care what color your skin is or how you like your sexual fantasies to play out, if you're retarded then I'm calling you out on it. My idea of equality means that everyone gets zero respect until they prove that they deserve it.

But you used the word "retarded"! Shocking!

Spoiler: It might not sit here for long, so open the box while you can.

"That guy's wearing two layers of pink? He must be double gay!"

That's not double gay, that's double not-giving-a-fuck-what-anyone-thinks-of-my-fashion-choice!

WOOOOOWWWW NICE AND MAKING IT SO I CAN'T DELETE THAT POST IF THE EMBARASSMENT GETS TOO MUCH FOR ME, WOOOOOWWWW.

Well, if you don't want to be called homophobic, you could start out by not proving the accuser correct by doing what you just did.

OR, you can learn how to spot an obvious joke. It's called satire, look it up.

EDIT: FuzzySeduction already grumped at me about my clumsy usage of satire, no need to grump at me some more, I get it, ok?

 

[Piorn]

I just don't care.
I don't care what you do in private or where you come from, as long as you're reliable. I hate people who don't do their part of the assignment more than I could ever hate someone for his heritage or tastes.
I judge people for what they do, not what they are.

 

[FuzzyRaccoon]

OR, you can learn how to spot an obvious joke. It's called satire, look it up.

I'm not even exactly in agreement with that person... but you're using satire incorrectly. Please learn to use it appropriately before attempting to protect yourself with it.

Satire is a narrative device. You never explicitly say anything and you use it to point out social, political, or other such issues through an entirely straight-faced entirely SERIOUS telling.

 

[Scars Unseen]

How would I do it? Well being accused of such things generally makes me not care about the person making the accusation, so it would probably go along the lines of "I'm not, but my happiness isn't contingent on your approval, so please continue to think whatever supports your worldview."

 

[Headsprouter]

OR, you can learn how to spot an obvious joke. It's called satire, look it up.

I'm not even exactly in agreement with that person... but you're using satire incorrectly. Please learn to use it appropriately before attempting to protect yourself with it.

Satire is a narrative device. You never explicitly say anything and you use it to point out social, political, or other such issues through an entirely straight-faced entirely SERIOUS telling.

Sorry, it's the internet, and I knew somebody was going to take me seriously if I left my sentence punctuated and not entirely in lower case.

I did look up a quick definition before posting though, and I thought "Yup, that'll do."

 

[Little Woodsman]

When someone accuses you of being racist or homophobic you should simply reply "That's not true! I hate everybody the same!"

(works for all of my friends.....)

I don't have to worry about it myself because due to where my mom is from I'm technically black, and I'm a brony, my favorite movie is Frozen, I have long hair, I hate football, I moved to Boulder of my own free will, I don't use the 'not gay' seat when I go to the movies with other guys... so no matter how much I like having sex with girls and even though I'm not attracted sexually to other guys in the slightest I'm still 'totally gay'!

 

[Belaam]

As has been stated, I think that if you're out to prove someone's judgement that you're homophobic/racist/etc. based on a single incident is wrong, you're kind of out of luck. If they're someone you interact with regularly, and you never say things that can be construed that way, they will eventually realize they were wrong. Otherwise, there isn't really anything that you can do in the short run that won't look like you're just trying to cover. You're up against a whole host of confirmation biases and snap judgements and you'll probably just make things worse.

Your initial joke was, frankly, more dumb that homophobic, but I can see if I'd just met you, I'd pause and wonder if you were sounding the rest of the group out for fellow homophobic people. In which case, I would probably have a somewhat more extreme reaction to signal to the rest of the group that I didn't think even mildly homophobic jokes were funny. So your negative reaction may have been played up to distance them from that joke.

Really, it just boils down to perception and not giving anyone any evidence to support that position. I'm a public teacher and make damn sure I never make even the most tame joke regarding race, sex, orientation, religion, etc. because when we start talking grades, the last thing I want is having to prove that the left-handed Irish kid with dual Australian/Russian citizenship is getting an F because he doesn't do his work and not because I'm a right-hand-normative, Anglophobic Putin-hater who thinks all Australians are felons.

tl;dr You don't; you let time prove them wrong (or, I guess right, if you are).

 

[Headsprouter]

I'm under no delusion that I harbor absolutely no racist or homophobic views. Everyone has prejudices against people who are not like them (yes, that includes black and homosexual people), but not everyone expresses them. I try not to express them either. Not out there to prove something that just isn't true.

People who say they truly aren't racist have never taken a proper look in the mirror.

Very good point.

I would be of the opinion that if an argument devolves to the point that the people are labeling the other person "racist" or "homophobic" the argument is basically dead at that point. There's no really way to convince them otherwise and if they end up resorting to ad hominem retorts they obviously couldn't find a more sound complaint. Don't bother to continue the argument.

It's posts like these that make me wonder if I've really got the point across that there's not an actualy ongoing argument, and there never was. This is just a situation that's always frustrated me, and I'm trying to confirm that there was no way that I could have handled it after I slipped up.

Sorry to use you as an example if you're replying to what you'd do if you were in the hypothetical argument, I just thought I'd make sure we were all on the same page.

 

[Adeptus Aspartem]

"I'm not an asshole to people because of a certain trait they possess. I'm an asshole to people who're cunts".

Worked so far for me.

 

[Mad World]

I'm sure you're a decent human being, but I'm so glad we live in a place (well, I'm assuming you also live in such a place) where in fact you do have to 'tolerate their actions'. Certainly you have no legal recourse to stop them (once again assuming you live in a more sensible part of the world). That makes me happy. Am I right in assuming your displeasure stems from some sort of religious thing?

By, "... that doesn't mean that I have to tolerate..." I am saying that I don't have to agree with what they do. I do not wish to forcefully stop them. Perhaps "tolerate" wasn't the optimal word.

And, yes - it's because of my beliefs as a Christian.

 

[FuzzyRaccoon]

Sorry, it's the internet, and I knew somebody was going to take me seriously if I left my sentence punctuated and not entirely in lower case.

I did look up a quick definition before posting though, and I thought "Yup, that'll do."

Thats fine, satire is actually rarely used correctly anyway, like "stoic" or other popularized terms.

I kind of expected that you were going to get attacked for that but it didn't bother me because it's kind of like an internet-ism. Like people on tumblr might get pissed about it but they should at least recognize that it's part of the current vocabulary of the internet to use phrases like that.

 

[FuzzyRaccoon]

When someone accuses you of being racist or homophobic you should simply reply "That's not true! I hate everybody the same!"

(works for all of my friends.....)

I don't have to worry about it myself because due to where my mom is from I'm technically black, and I'm a brony, my favorite movie is Frozen, I have long hair, I hate football, I moved to Boulder of my own free will, I don't use the 'not gay' seat when I go to the movies with other guys... so no matter how much I like having sex with girls and even though I'm not attracted sexually to other guys in the slightest I'm still 'totally gay'!

You actually get to employ a magical space where you can point out how biased a person is being when they accuse you of gendered stereotypes. That's kind of nice at least.

 

[Headsprouter]

Thats fine, satire is actually rarely used correctly anyway, like "stoic" or other popularized terms.

I kind of expected that you were going to get attacked for that but it didn't bother me because it's kind of like an internet-ism. Like people on tumblr might get pissed about it but they should at least recognize that it's part of the current vocabulary of the internet to use phrases like that.

Well, not enough people have seen it, yet...actually...I'm gonna edit that post so people are discouraged from barraging me with angry quotations...I can't handle dat shit. :O

And even so, I made the joke in the same format again, but with maple-leaves! Because Canada! That's funny, right?

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Easy. I kiss a black guy. Does the trick every time.

Do you just keep a blackguy offhand to kiss every time you get accused of being racist? sounds like something someone who supports slave culture would do, RACIST.

I dunno I don't give a fuck honestly. Full disclosure, my sense of humor involves making people uncomfortable and being fucked up, so I'm totally comfortable making racist/sexist/homophobic remarks, completely in jest of course, since the core of the joke is that I'm mocking the prejudice itself by saying blatantly ignorant shit that sounds ridiculous. Some could argue that could make racist/sexist/whatever to some extent, and though my opinion varies I guess that's the cost of doing it and I'm not really bothered or surprised by that.

The only time I would feel like it would legitimately bother me or was cause to reevaluate my morals is if one of my normally good humored friends who are any one of those things told me it made them uncomfortable.

 

[Frankster]

Dunno about homophobic, never been called that one (also the reason you were called homophobic in first place is kinda pathetic coming from the guy who hassled ya xD).

But I know how to deal with rascism accusations!

As my dad always said: I hate the blacks, the whites, the yellows, the jews, the indians and I ESPECIALLY hate those fucking dirty stupid mexicans! (he is mexican).

So if accused of rascism I take it in my stride and proclaim myself to indeed be rascist..against pretty much every possible race there is, especially my own. It takes a real arse to not get the hint and keep hassling you after such a statement, one I've yet to meet fortunately.

After all it's hard to prove you're not a rascist...But easy to prove you're rascist Therefore by proving yourself the most rasciest, you actually go full circle and become a perfect equalist due to hating all races equally!