How do you make friends?

[manic_depressive13]

You just go up to someone, introduce yourself and shake their hand. Then you say "Let's be friends. I know many activities that we can do together. If you would kindly accompany me to my humble abode, we can begin bonding." Then you take them home and have super fun happy times.

 

[ultrachicken]

I'm a highschooler, so I don't think my input is very helpful to you, but I'll share to help stave off my own boredom.

Basically, if I spot someone who looks nice and keeps to themselves, I'll try initiating conversation with them. Usually the opening conversation revolves around school, because that's something that I can count on being present in that person's life, and I'll see where it goes. If they're friendly and nerdy, chances are I've made a new friend. If they're not nerdy, then that's a roadblock, but doesn't necessarily mean we don't become friends. If they're a douche, then I say goodbye.

 

[Vault101]

They're the people that get your stuff when you die. =O

.....I'm getting mine buried with me

and I have alot of stuff.. they'll have to build a tomb

 

[OctoH]

Hobbies of all kinds stimulate your social network. I am a dancer, so many of my friends are made in related experiences (shows, training, random people looking for lessons).

 

[Sovereignty]

Look online for community activities. These include (but aren't limited to), Softball, Baseball, other sports, bar hopping (even though it isn't your scene it's far different than just going to a bar for a drink.)

bicycle riding groups, hiking groups, and basically anything with the attached 'group' suffix.

These groups are plentiful in most all big area's. They offer a large sample of people who you already know share a hobby with you. All that's left is to break the ice. I find personally the team oriented groups are best for this (Sports)

It just comes from saying something like, "Nice pitch." To get someone else to go, "We should go to the bar for drinks after the game."

Or you could suggest it. Really there's a world out there of people who want friends just like you, it's honestly just a matter of going out and actually trying to find them.

Good luck!

 

[Gatx]

I'm a highschooler, so I don't think my input is very helpful to you, but I'll share to help stave off my own boredom.

Basically, if I spot someone who looks nice and keeps to themselves, I'll try initiating conversation with them. Usually the opening conversation revolves around school, because that's something that I can count on being present in that person's life, and I'll see where it goes. If they're friendly and nerdy, chances are I've made a new friend. If they're not nerdy, then that's a roadblock, but doesn't necessarily mean we don't become friends. If they're a douche, then I say goodbye.

I don't think it's really a problem of "making friends" itself so much as it is meeting people in a context where socializing isn't weird. Obviously at work you can talk with co-workers, and you can talk to classmates and find clubs at school. Hell its even less weird to talk to a random person in those places than if you were to just chat up a random person on the street.

 

[Guffe]

Saying that though i'm getting older so probably at the bingo.

Bingo? What are you, 88? I'd say mroe like 28
Based on your avatar all you need to do to get friends is put on the red shirt a saturday afternoon and waltz into Anfield

On Topic:

Most my friends are from the childhood and school / the army.
Soon getting into a new school so hoping to meet new people there, otherwise some sort of hobby that gathers people usually gets friends.
Guess I am not helping too much here but I'd say a hobby were people gather a few times a week, not too big groups and get to know them a few weeks then ask if they wana go for a cup of coffee or something after one of those sesions...

 

[omega 616]

I was in the same boat a month or two ago.

The way I kind of changed it was just start speaking to an acquaintance, you know ... somebody your kind of age, into the same stuff you like, you kind of know but have had no real interactions with? I don't care who you are, everybody has these kinds of people.

Whether your like me and used to live in a homeless shelter or a long lost friend from school, just facebook or use some other site to find them. If that fails, volunteer somewhere, you are constantly around people so you're bound to talk to them and just make friends naturally.

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

There are many ways, you just need to find something that works for you.

For me, kicking in a door and screaming "taste the storm of my loyalty" as loudly and as hammy as possible, then seeing who gets the joke and then talking with them. Though that mind not work for others. If you want to try this and it doesn't work, just tell them "Relax people, it's part of a social experiment. For science!" and then walk away calmly.

It probably is just a case of walking up to someone you like the look of, introducing yourself and beginning a conversation and see if you click. If not, then you politely thank them for their time, and head off to try with someone else.

Also, famous quote that may be applicable here:

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you" Dale Carnegie

 

[Vault101]

They're the people that get your stuff when you die. =O

.....I'm getting mine buried with me

and I have alot of stuff.. they'll have to build a tomb

A whole mausoleum that you can decorate yourself before you go. =D

Just be sure to prepare traps greetings for robbers 'friends' who come looking for collectibles D=<

yeah I'll have some elaborate puzzle to fend off intruders..and some "nathan drake" like person will come and mess up my tomb, and wont even bother to shut my casket (I was playing uncharted 3 today and this really annoyed me, if your going to mess up all that old stuff at least have the decency to shut the poor bastards coffin, since you did steal from him)

 

[Scarim Coral]

Just being natrual?
I mean when I was first started University and during the first few weeks I talked and hang around with the people who I'm going to see in class with. Sure we didn't have everything in common with them but when I did find one guy who I share alot in common with (he's in comicbook while I was new at it so he can tell me more about it, play games and prefer to be indoor than going out). I started to hang out more with him and sooner or later we just became friends and a few others more.

Granted my way of being natural doesn't always work as in instant friends wise. I attended college and I was only friendly with the other student at best as in saying hello, making a few chats and saying byes.

 

[manic_depressive13]

You just go up to someone, introduce yourself and shake their hand. Then you say "Let's be friends. I know many activities that we can do together. If you would kindly accompany me to my humble abode, we can begin bonding." Then you take them home and have super fun happy times.

If someone came up to me and said that I'm not sure if I would go with them or decline and try to avoid them in the future o__O

The trick is not to stop "shaking their hand" until you have them safely subdued in your house.

 

[Sexy Devil]

University taverns are a godsend for meeting people. Pretty much everyone who's there is there to procrastinate so you know you have at least one thing in common!

 

[Mariakko]

Same boat as you OP (and apparently lots more Escapists). I tried just being friends with people in the flats next to me and they just bored me to death no matter how hard I tried. I'd recommend joining a club or group mainly because it's what I'm thinking of doing. I really want to find some nice people to play D&D with.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

I really don't know how to make friends. I have one really good friend I have had since I was 13 and that's pretty much it, besides some acquaintances I really don't consider friends. Also, I am about to move to go to graduate school and I am worried about not being able to make any new friends. This will sound really angsty, but I don't think most people understand me.

 

[EeveeElectro]

I'm in the same situation.
I want friends but all mine just eventually leave me and stop giving a fuck.
The last friend I hung out with tried to ask me out which made me feel uncomfortable so now I feel awkward if I spend some time alone with her.
Although I am having a mate round on Sunday, hoping that won't happen again xD

The only sort of friends I have right now are from work but I don't see them outside of it.
At least my internet friends don't leave me ;_;

I agree with others, find an activity or a club you're interested in. Or spend lots of time in comic book shops like me xD they usually want to befriend me then.

 

[Nerexor]

I imagine that the problem is less about actually making friends, and more about finding a situation where talking to people you don't know isn't horribly awkward. At school you can talk to people in your class, at work you can talk to people there because you have a shared social experience to talk about, regardless of anything else.

A good way I've found is meetup groups, via the website meetup.com. There's all kinds of interest groups that meet up and have a good time. I haven't made any incredible friendships by doing so, but I have had a lot of fun. That or find a place that shares your interests, comic book store maybe? and see if they do events. Hell, you could even use this forum. Create a topic saying "CITYNAME escapists, let's meet up for a drink!" and see if you get any responses (note, if you do this, make sure its a public venue that people can find, and has numerous exits in case you need to flee the dreaded forum lurking serial killer. Just kidding... OR AM I?!)

 

[Matthew Kjonaas]

Be yourself that is how I made all my friends and being someone else is to hard to do for long.

 

[Palademon]

If meeting a new group of people, I join in on other people's conversations if they are discussing something I am interested in, and I try to join in on other people's fun.

If they don't want to be friends I probably look like an intruding asshole.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

Walk up to someone.

Grab them by the ears, lick their cheek, shout "FRIEND" in their face then jump up and down and clap.

I did that once to my eldest daughter when I saw her in town with all her friends .... results were hilarious.

That is the single most disturbing thing I have read in this forum for quite some time XD

There are many ways, you just need to find something that works for you.

For me, kicking in a door and screaming "taste the storm of my loyalty" as loudly and as hammy as possible, then seeing who gets the joke and then talking with them. Though that mind not work for others. If you want to try this and it doesn't work, just tell them "Relax people, it's part of a social experiment. For science!" and then walk away calmly.

It probably is just a case of walking up to someone you like the look of, introducing yourself and beginning a conversation and see if you click. If not, then you politely thank them for their time, and head off to try with someone else.

Also, famous quote that may be applicable here:

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you" Dale Carnegie

That is a pretty damn cool quote, I gotta say.