How do you make friends?

[marrrk]

Enroll in some sort of class? Especially now that you're comparatively free. I'm sure there are plenty of places to join something like that, and with the internet it's even easier to find groups of like-minded individuals. Might even discover a new passion while you're at it.

I find that the best places to make friends are places where you've got some sort of shared interest. See if the comic book or video game stores you frequent are holding any events, those usually work pretty well if you're looking to meet new people. But once you're through it's really up to you to build the connection. You don't have to be the life of the party, you don't have to draw undue attention to yourself, nothing drastic. Just ask questions (even general questions about the books or games, etc), lend someone a listening ear if they have something to say, show interest and you've pretty much got a foot in the door.

I don't know if you're the kind of person who is alright with drawing attention to yourself and I don't know what sized groups you function best in. If you're on the shyer end of the social spectrum I'd suggest you just keep turning up. Even if it's a closely-knitt group someone's bound to invite you out for a meal with the gang eventually, and in the meantime you're free to get to learn the group dynamic and how you'd fit into it better. Just don't force yourself into a situation you loathe and you'll be just fine.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Go to the Grocery store, Starbucks, or just ride public transportation. While doing these things have a hand held game or a book, someone will ask you what you're doing and you can kick up a conversation. at the end of said conversation, minimum 10 minutes see if they want to exchange numbers.

Last time I did something like that, I was on a bus and reading a Spike (from Buffy the vampire slayer series) comic book and the one guy who talked to me about it was an old man, kick ass old man that he likes that kind of stuff but I wouldn't be exchanging numbers with him anytime soon.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

I imagine that the problem is less about actually making friends, and more about finding a situation where talking to people you don't know isn't horribly awkward. At school you can talk to people in your class, at work you can talk to people there because you have a shared social experience to talk about, regardless of anything else.

A good way I've found is meetup groups, via the website meetup.com. There's all kinds of interest groups that meet up and have a good time. I haven't made any incredible friendships by doing so, but I have had a lot of fun. That or find a place that shares your interests, comic book store maybe? and see if they do events. Hell, you could even use this forum. Create a topic saying "CITYNAME escapists, let's meet up for a drink!" and see if you get any responses (note, if you do this, make sure its a public venue that people can find, and has numerous exits in case you need to flee the dreaded forum lurking serial killer. Just kidding... OR AM I?!)

I'm gonna take your advice on that group thing and see how many I get

 

[Jedoro]

Piss on their leg, so everyone knows you've claimed the person as your friend. Some people may contest this, so you have to be ready to fight in order to establish your dominance. The magic number of fights is usually two. After that, no one questions it when you claim a friend.

 

[Launcelot111]

I imagine that the problem is less about actually making friends, and more about finding a situation where talking to people you don't know isn't horribly awkward. At school you can talk to people in your class, at work you can talk to people there because you have a shared social experience to talk about, regardless of anything else.

A good way I've found is meetup groups, via the website meetup.com. There's all kinds of interest groups that meet up and have a good time. I haven't made any incredible friendships by doing so, but I have had a lot of fun. That or find a place that shares your interests, comic book store maybe? and see if they do events. Hell, you could even use this forum. Create a topic saying "CITYNAME escapists, let's meet up for a drink!" and see if you get any responses (note, if you do this, make sure its a public venue that people can find, and has numerous exits in case you need to flee the dreaded forum lurking serial killer. Just kidding... OR AM I?!)

I'm gonna take your advice on that group thing and see how many I get

I second the merits of meetup.com. I moved halfway across the country recently, and the site's been a solid way of at least having an occasion to meet people who have something ever so vague in common.

See if there are any groups that meet your interests and have activities along those lines. I usually have a better time meeting new people if there is some shared activity that people can focus on and have some general fun with, but one that allows for some getting to know people/friend making on the side. My avenue is board games, but you can find your thing- cooking classes, sports leagues, D&D clubs, whatever. I find just meeting people over drinks to be incredibly stressful even if I already have some background on them (not unenjoyable necessarily, just stressful, and that's just me), so a middleman activity is a big help.

 

[Andy Shandy]

I hit them over the head with my "friendship shovel", drag them back to my "friendship cave", tie them up with "friendship rope" and then give them a choice. Be my friend or be turned into a helicopter after I kill you. That cat was the first to be asked. He declined my offer of friendship.

Actually I have no idea. I sort of just stumbled into the group I'm with now.

 

[Bleidd Whitefalcon]

Friends? I must research this new concept.
*researches*
Oh. Those. The things that everyone else has.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

I don't know. It's always been something that just happens, and there generally never really is a set in stone way to do it. Most of my friends I've made from school, and my best friend was when we both joined Boy Scouts together (ended up being the guy who I first drank with, and than first smoked a cigar with, and then smoked weed with). I notice that we all kinda had a good sense of humor with one another.

Though I think you might be a bit old for that now. So join a sports team and invite them out for a few beers afterwards? I know a few people who became really good buddies by being in the same guild together in WoW, so maybe start a gaming team on your favorite game?

 

[Shaved Apple]

Don't be mean.