How do you react to being hit on/checked out?
- Thread starter Miyenne
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I'm too old and rubbish to get 'hit on' anymore but in my teen years I was so nervous with girls and I had such low self esteem I would fail to pick up on it and the poor girl showing an interest would walk away being unintentionally friend zoned. When I got older and gained some confidence I realised that by having no confidence in myself and by constantly thinking 'ahh I'm not good enough for her' I had shot myself in the foot many times.
If only I could go back and tell my younger self to stop putting yourself down!
If only I could go back and tell my younger self to stop putting yourself down!
If it ever happens, I'll let you know. Really though, I'm terrible at reading signals so they'd kind of need to beat me over the head to get the message across and even then I'm too paranoid and chicken shit to actually act on anything, so most often I'll just keep my mouth shut or pretend to be oblivious and save myself any further embarrassment. In other words, badly, I handle it rather badly. >.>
I only ever get hit on by women too drunk to notice how ugly I am, so it's usually play along, flirt a bit, but keep very strong boundaries. "Yes you can snuggle up to me. No we're not going to make-out. Yes, we can hold hands. No, we are not going to screw." That sort of thing.
As for being checked out... by someone sober? Given that I've had a chick walk up and ask me if I'm pregnant before (I'm a guy), I kinda can't see it happening. If it did/does happen, I don't think I'd notice. I mean, what the hell does someone who's checking someone else out even look like, unless they're staring like a hungry predator or a psychopath who just found their next victim? In those cases, retreat, maybe puff up a bit to try and make myself look bigger and less prey like.
As for being checked out... by someone sober? Given that I've had a chick walk up and ask me if I'm pregnant before (I'm a guy), I kinda can't see it happening. If it did/does happen, I don't think I'd notice. I mean, what the hell does someone who's checking someone else out even look like, unless they're staring like a hungry predator or a psychopath who just found their next victim? In those cases, retreat, maybe puff up a bit to try and make myself look bigger and less prey like.
I'm normally clueless as to whether people find me attractive. Except once, when I'd just come off a long shift at about midnight and was getting a takeaway. Whilst I was waiting, two very inebriated women in their thirties expressed their admiration of my looks. More specifically, one of them put their hand on my shoulder and said I was the 'prettiest boy in the world' and asked me if I was aware of this (they continued to make overtures of this nature until my order arrived, when I hastily bid them thankyou and goodnight).
So I politely thanked them for their kind words, turned crimson and looked at my shoes, whilst trying to edge away. I have no idea whether they where genuinely hitting on me, or just decided it would be hilarious to wind up the young man in the waiter outfit, but it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I have ever endured and has caused me to endeavour to never make a girl feel the same way.
I did not appreciate the lack of help provided by my Dad, who had picked me up from work, who had remained in the car for the entire incident, pissing himself laughing.
So I politely thanked them for their kind words, turned crimson and looked at my shoes, whilst trying to edge away. I have no idea whether they where genuinely hitting on me, or just decided it would be hilarious to wind up the young man in the waiter outfit, but it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I have ever endured and has caused me to endeavour to never make a girl feel the same way.
I did not appreciate the lack of help provided by my Dad, who had picked me up from work, who had remained in the car for the entire incident, pissing himself laughing.
I usually take it as a compliment, sometimes as an invitation to flirt back if the guy is interesting.
But unwanted touching? Creepy cat calls? Activate sexual harassment/drunk dude shields, acquire friends and get the hell out of there.
But unwanted touching? Creepy cat calls? Activate sexual harassment/drunk dude shields, acquire friends and get the hell out of there.
When a honey looks me in the eye, her soft, scarlet lips gently caressed by the sublime sexiness of her tongue, I flash her one of those irrestible "come get me" stares, and I say "babe, we gon' get on down".
Then I take her in my 1968 Chevrolet Corvette back to the steamy luxury of my crib, pour her out a glass of wine, put on one of my Barry White vinyls, and sink down onto the couch with her.
And she says, "honey, you are SUCH a hunk", and I reply "you know it". And the atmosphere gets more and more electric, my hand grabs her thigh, she softly moans cos' she knows it's what she's been dreaming of all night when I give her the look. Yeah, it's the look that says it's time to be getting on down.
So I take her by the hand and lead her to the warm, gentle embrace of my boudois, we collapse into each other's arms and make sweet, sweet love all night.
That's one of the two possible results of someone checking me out. The other is that I blush and say something stupid.
Then I take her in my 1968 Chevrolet Corvette back to the steamy luxury of my crib, pour her out a glass of wine, put on one of my Barry White vinyls, and sink down onto the couch with her.
And she says, "honey, you are SUCH a hunk", and I reply "you know it". And the atmosphere gets more and more electric, my hand grabs her thigh, she softly moans cos' she knows it's what she's been dreaming of all night when I give her the look. Yeah, it's the look that says it's time to be getting on down.
So I take her by the hand and lead her to the warm, gentle embrace of my boudois, we collapse into each other's arms and make sweet, sweet love all night.
That's one of the two possible results of someone checking me out. The other is that I blush and say something stupid.
Think positively you arent unattractive. Like myself you are an aquired taste. You could call it fish eggs but its called caviar, you could call it a fungus but its a truffle. I could call you ugly but no you are an aquired tastetorno said:
Its all about putting a positive spin on things
I'm part of that group that wouldn't know, since it's never happened to me before, haha. I'm not the kind to doll myself up, so I haven't had to deal to unwanted stares.
But I do get flustered when I get complimented on my clothes, so if it ever does happen I'd probably get embarrassed and brush it off.
But I do get flustered when I get complimented on my clothes, so if it ever does happen I'd probably get embarrassed and brush it off.
I sense sarcasm but do you actually have a 1968 'vette if so is it a stingray?San Martin said:
As a straight man if you hit on me and you had a 1968 corvette stingray id drop my pants
What specifically makes you think that a guy laughing a bit can only mean that he is trying his best to personally attack you, as opposed to maybe being annoyed if he felt you were staring too much, or thinking of something entirely unrelated?
Anyway. I react pretty naturally to being hit on/flirted with, it doesn't make me nervous or anything (generally, I only get nervous about social situations if I have to think about them in advance, if they're sprung on me out of nowhere, it goes just fine). Being checked out...I assume anyone who seems to be doing so is probably weirded out by me or something (specifically, my facial hair; 5 hours or so is all it takes for me to look like I haven't shaved in a day or two, and I constantly feel like I look hideous and that everyone who looks at me assumes I'm a creepy, disgusting pig who can't take care of himself because of it, because...they probably are if I didn't shave super recently and they're actually taking a prolonged look)
Anyway. I react pretty naturally to being hit on/flirted with, it doesn't make me nervous or anything (generally, I only get nervous about social situations if I have to think about them in advance, if they're sprung on me out of nowhere, it goes just fine). Being checked out...I assume anyone who seems to be doing so is probably weirded out by me or something (specifically, my facial hair; 5 hours or so is all it takes for me to look like I haven't shaved in a day or two, and I constantly feel like I look hideous and that everyone who looks at me assumes I'm a creepy, disgusting pig who can't take care of himself because of it, because...they probably are if I didn't shave super recently and they're actually taking a prolonged look)
Do people in this thread just have no self-confidence, or?
It depends on the situation.
If I'm chatting and/or flirting with someone, I'm flattered and usually just continue being chatty/flirty, particularly if I'm interested. If it think someone is interested when I'm not, I usually subtly back off a little bit. I'm still friendly though.
I don't notice people checking me out on the street so I'm not going to assume that they do.
I've been asked out by a total stranger in a public day setting once and, while it was flattering, it was pretty awkward as I turned him down because I have a boyfriend. He seemed lovely though and it takes serious balls to approach someone like that.
If someone were to just stare at me in the street, I'd find that pretty unsettling.
Also, he just laughed? He didn't say you anything to you?
I think you might projecting the fact that you're conscious of your weight onto him.
It could have been for any number of reasons.
It depends on the situation.
If I'm chatting and/or flirting with someone, I'm flattered and usually just continue being chatty/flirty, particularly if I'm interested. If it think someone is interested when I'm not, I usually subtly back off a little bit. I'm still friendly though.
I don't notice people checking me out on the street so I'm not going to assume that they do.
I've been asked out by a total stranger in a public day setting once and, while it was flattering, it was pretty awkward as I turned him down because I have a boyfriend. He seemed lovely though and it takes serious balls to approach someone like that.
If someone were to just stare at me in the street, I'd find that pretty unsettling.
Also, he just laughed? He didn't say you anything to you?
I think you might projecting the fact that you're conscious of your weight onto him.
It could have been for any number of reasons.
Could be that, but it really was more of a snort than a laugh. And a bit of a hostile look, but at that I just let my gaze slide past him and went to the registers as I was done.Colour-Scientist said:
I know I'm overweight, but I've also been hit on randomly enough to know that enough men and women find me attractive that I have a comfortable level of self confidence.
I wasn't staring at him with my mouth hanging open or anything either, just the cocked head and silly smile I get when I let my imagination wander for a second. I suppose someone could possibly find it offensive, but I seriously doubt I'm creepy. I'm too cute for that.
And the other guy didn't react like that. I've never had anyone react like that. If I get caught looking most men have the grace to just smile and maybe nod.
Well, it's never happened to me. Like, ever.
So, in theory, I'd be flattered, but in reality I'd be wary.
So, in theory, I'd be flattered, but in reality I'd be wary.
I used to get hit on a decent amount back in school before the only time I left the house was to go to work. Back then I used to respond to it by being completely and totally oblivious until I figured it out or put it together farther along down the line. Really one time I swear to you two girls were together. Cute Asian girl and her friend. The friend asked me if I was seeing anyone(Obviously in retrospect being the middle man for her friend). I respond by simply saying "No" and then going back to talking with my friend completely oblivious. Of course this was when I was in like 7th grade but my god, that's really the story of my life though. I mean only like less than two years ago I had a female co worker I barely knew at the time who's cute come up and give me a hug. I thought literally nothing of it and walked away. Later I found out she was looking for a boyfriend. I could really just keep giving you stories all day. I'm finally getting less completely horrible at noticing when people are hitting on me though.
It's never happened to me. If it did I would probably be pretty flustered, but until it happens I can't really say.
I don't really have a problem with self-confidence, but I do have a birth defect that doesn't do me a whole lot of favors in the looks department, so yeah.
I don't really have a problem with self-confidence, but I do have a birth defect that doesn't do me a whole lot of favors in the looks department, so yeah.