Hypothetical: If you died, and (Let's Assume Christian) God is waiting for you...

[Prometherion]

"Holy shit!!! It WAS Morgan Freeman all along!!!"

 

[Varanfan9]

I would ask what he is really like. I mean is he the gay hater catholic extremist people make him out to be or just an average person that has awesome powers.
Then I would take a tour of Hell and laugh the entire time.

 

[Abengoshis]

I'd have a really long rant at him about how terrible he is, then slap him, then march off in the opposite direction to wherever he is...wait he's supposed to be everywhere....crap...

 

[the idiot computer]

"well off to purgatory"- Famous last words.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

"Go talk to someone more important than me."

 

[Wardnath]

I'd confront him about all the evil in the world, and if he did not give a 'benevolent' answer that satisfied me completely I would seek to destroy him by any means possible. Unite the forces of hell against him again if need be, but injustice - in life or in death will be fought with all the strength I can muster.

If evil exists because he is not 'all powerful' then I will tell him to do more with the power he has. I'll even offer to do it myself if he'll provide a little 'divine aid'. Regardless, he will answer the reasons for all the suffering in the world. And 'it is a test' or 'they deserve it' will not be good enough.

He's not our personal army.

OT: Just hope he doesn't take black metal all that seriously. Otherwise, I'm screwed.

 

[anNIALLator]

I'd be like, "Hey, what the fuck?"

 

[anNIALLator]

Say nothing.

If he's the God then he's omniscient, so he already knows all the things I might otherwise say or tell.

I know, right? At least Dr. Manhattan plays along.

Like total silence.
Nothing useful I could say, since God would already know everything I know and nothing God would say, because if people aren't worth talking at while alive, they certainly aren't worth talking at when they're making themselves useless in heaven.

Very good

 

[JanatUrlich]

I think I'd pretty much be fucked since I've broken a lot of rules in the bible.

Then I'd be like "Why don't you just help people the fuck out and be a nice guy?"

And then I'd beg for a place in heaven because I can't be arsed with hell or wherever the else he'd send me

 

[Mozared]

I've always thought that in the unlikely event that I'm completely wrong in what seems most likely to me, I'll be forgiven anyway. After all I'm only human and have always followed what seemed logical above what seemed illogical. If 'god' really is the proper almighty and algood being we make him out to be, then he will forgive me for not believing in him.

 

[reg42]

"So... Hurricane Katrina then?"

 

[Broady Brio]

Ask him if I'm going to hell, and if so what can I do to NOT go to hell.

I'd prefer if he sounded and looked like Morgan Freeman too.

 

[Simriel]

Can haz cheezburger?

 

[Shadeovblack]

I'd probably try to kill him, despite the odds not being in my favor.

 

[Gigano]

I'd do my very best to drag it before the International Criminal Court in the Hague for the innumerable crimes against humanity it and its followers (apparently on its order if it was real) have committed.

Then I would probably be tortured by it for eternity, as that seems to be the brutish standard action for at least displeased abrahamic gods to take...

Thank god I'm an atheist.

 

[Tolerant Fanboy]

Oh, there would be a long, in depth discussion. Unless, of course, the Holiest of Holys pulls the classic telepathic interruption schtick.

"So you?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"Yes."
"But?"
"Because Optimus Prime is red."
"I see..."

And then I'd ask for the universe's documentation. Or sourcebook. Depends on whether one sees God as programmer or DM.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Ask Him why He lets people think every tiny problem is his fault and finish by saying "So... giving humanity free will? Was it really worth it?"

 

[Seven Bottles Of Gin On The Wall]

I would politely question him/her/it about why they thought it was a great idea to allow more than one religion thus causing many years of confusion, war and hatred. I'd then proceed to the buffet.

 

[Cliff_m85]

What would you say when you met him?

Would you fall on your knees and beg for forgiveness? Would you try to ignore him? Would you sing a jaunty tune? I've always been curious as to what the skeptics would do if it turned out they were wrong. This topic appeases that curiosity of mine.

Sir, if you wanted me to believe in you then you would've presented some actual evidence. Rather you inspired a book with a multitude of scientific and history errors. There was no reason to believe in you whatsoever. Also, as a being that sees all and knows all yet still allow the death, molestation, and rape of children as well as the Holocaust and other wars fought in your name I find absolutely no reason to think of you as moral. I cannot enter your "Heaven" because I find you to be absolutely disgusting and absolutely evil.

Good day.


(That's me to the Christian God and Jewish God, want me to write others for other deities?)

 

[Shawshanker]

First I would say, "What the fuck did I do? Why did you kill me?" Then maybe we'd have lunch sometime so I can ask him what it's like to be GOD.