I Am Confused Edition: Sexist for calling someone "stunning"?

[Secondhand Revenant]

Look at this rationally, a 57 year old man inappropriately messaged a 27 year old on a professional website in a way that is annoying and frankly creepy.

Is it sexist? Not sure really, id say no, but at the same time is the problem here that the person being creeped on by an older "professional" used the "wrong word" to describe the creepiness? Is that the take away from this? Some guy was an asshole, some girl described his assholishness using the wrong words.

No compliments are not sexist. You think being complimented is what made her annoyed? Cmon try and understand her perspective and apply SOME context. You cant honestly believe compliments are being accused of being sexist here right? I cant possibly imagine how youd take that from this story.

is the only thing that makes it asshole-ish because it's a professional website meant for finding jobs? cause okay, I see that.

I'm also wondering whats wrong with a grown man essentially hitting on a full grown adult woman (in general, context of the website not withstanding). My own parents age difference is 30 yrs.

Do you consider hitting on random people regardless of where you meet them to be behavior that should be considered polite? I'd lean towards crass.

I mean isn't that how it works? I really wouldn't know. I'm a hermit these days.

You meet someone, if youre interested you throw signals out there, they either return those signals or they don't. Bar, work, whatever.

I mean cause if showing interest is a terrible social tresspass, I mean fucking aye, why bother trying for a date? It could all blow back up in your face.

You do get the difference between just hitting on someone and throwing out signals don't you? If so please don't try and conflate them like that. People can also have a brain and try to figure out if said signals are even likely to be welcome with a bit of observation first.

Honestly I really don't. Probably never will.

As in you can't think of a single way to show interest that is not just hitting on people? Really? =/

This is really a red herring. Why are the other ways you and I can think of to express attraction the only right ways? Methinks you're imposing your own personal beliefs on other people here as though they are the only right ways. That's something I'm guilty of in a lot of areas too and am personally trying to work on. But your way is not the universal right way. There isn't really an easy way to reach out to a person online and initiate discourse. It is always going to be awkward to initiate with a stranger. Some people prefer the band-aid approach and others prefer a slow pull. Personally, I don't want to waste my time dating a person I'm not already interested in but my way is not the right way, it is just my way.

He said 'If showing interest is a terrible social trespass'. I am pointing out the thing condemned is not the entirety of showing interest.

So cut the accusations and read more carefully.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

If there's one thing I've learned from this thread it's that most of The Escapist aren't going to be passing on their genetic lineage. Never approach anyone because it's creepy, never compliment them because it's sexist, never make eye contact because it might intimate to someone that you just *might* like them. Oh, and don't talk to anyone, they might think you want sex.

That weird. You don't understand what people actually said, make a ton of it up for them, and that's supposed to reflect on their ability to get a relationship?

 

[Bat Vader]

Looking at the picture again I burst out laughing. How anyone can wear those stupid wigs and not feel awkward is beyond me. I get that they aren't required anymore but If I was a lawyer or judge in the UK I would not be caught dead wearing it ceremony or no.

 

[DementedSheep]

Right, because it totally had nothing to do with gender. Surely he goes around hitting on... sorry, "complimenting" the men on this professorial site about their appearance as well.
She overreacted, although I would wager it's because she gets tons and he was just the lucky winner who sent a message when she was annoyed about it enough to use him as representation of all them which isn't fair.

Not that it matters, she needs to get use to it either way because if she wants to not be a decorated fuck toy first then that's too bad because she was born the wrong gender and it's never going to change. At most you'll get people to be less open about it.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Right, because it totally had nothing to do with gender. Surely he goes around hitting on... sorry, "complimenting" the men on the this professorial site about their appearance as well.
She overreacted, although I would wager it's because she gets tons and he was just lucky winner who sent a message when she annoyed about it enough to use him as representation of all them which isn't fair.

Not that it matters, she needs to get use to it either way because if she wants to not be a decorated fuck toy first then that's too bad because she was born the wrong gender and it's never going to change. At most you'll get people to be less open about it.

Why never? I can understand being pessimistic about the near future, but never?

Also isn't less open at least something? It says it's not acceptable or they recognize it as not socially acceptable.