Secondhand Revenant said:
Lightknight said:
Secondhand Revenant said:
Lightknight said:
Sexist? Not really. Finding someone attractive and stating it isn't sexist. Sexism is discrimination against women or attitudes that foster stereotypes/gender roles based on sex.
Sexual Harasser? Only if the individual continues after being told to stop or if the act was particularly egregious which this one wasn't (slapping the ass, for example, is automatically sexual harassment even if the individual stops when warned)
Men and women are going to find one another attractive. We are evolutionarily predisposed to it and are rewarded for acting on that predisposition. It would be foolish to condemn an individual for behaving in line with basic human nature.
That being said: Creepy? Sure. Who the hell uses linkedin for that? I guess the guy was just bummed that he can't use Ashley Madison anymore.
What's with this basic human nature nonsense. Finding someone attractive is a far cry from hitting on them. Basic human nature does not demand hitting on someone regardless of context. Stop trying to abuse the notion and pretend creeps lack any responsibility. If they can't control themselves put them down like rabid dogs (I don't belive they can't control themselves I find it to be a petty excuse that it is merely in their nature, as if they were animals).
What? How do you think we propagate as a species? We hit on people. Acting on attraction is vital to the survival of any species.
I despair at how it seems people can't seem to understand the separation between feeling something and acting on it.
The step you skip over is self control and responsibility for ones actions, regardless of feeling some petty urge.
He stated that he thought her picture was stunning. He didn't kill a puppy. He even did it somewhat tactfully by apologizing beforehand for the potential problem it could be. His problem was that he did it on a site intended for the workplace and then we as standard internet mobs go decided that he'd cupped her breasts while she was walking by in the workplace. Or that's the severity with which we're responding to this.
Ah did you mean to quote the guy who said it was evil? I'm not seeing that in my post. Or, well anywhere...
You said people should be put down if they can't control themselves. Is putting someone down a punishment you reserve for those that are not evil? Though I see you address this in the next comment so I'll move along.
Please do read what I actually said. Like how I don't believe people are that pathetic and I just think it's a terrible excuse. And I didn't say 'individuals that hit on people in ways I don't approve'. But not surprised you're using strawmen.
You said that people who can't suppress impulses you personally think they should suppress should be put down like dogs. You then went on to say that you don't think people can't control those things though. In any event, this kind of death penalty is some extreme hyperbole on your part. Maybe guys that are attracted to girls should just be castrated by your logic? Get the problem solved and it's far less deadly than just murdering them like animals.
If it were a hot guy in a club we wouldn't be having this discussion.
Prove it.
*sigh* you don't have to disagree with everything as though that would discard your actual argument. This is unrelated because we're talking about a person who is hypothetically desirable in a location that is commonly associated with getting hit on and seeking said attention.
For example, it isn't unlike saying that had this conversation been on e-harmony then no one would give a fuck. Surely you agree on that point. The problem therefore isn't that he said this but rather where he said this. A slap on a girl's ass? Inappropriate anywhere unless there's a well established relationship there. But a very feeble attempt to call someone pretty? This is only a problem because LinkedIn is starting to blur the line between social network and work network.
What people really mean is that they only want people they are also attracted to to ever hit on them.
Prove it.
Make me *puts fists up in preparation for fisticuffs*. This guy just offhandedly made a comment about a pretty picture. You're crucifying the dude and for what? Because he hit on her on linked in. That's creepy but my God man, don't we have a ton of examples of extremely crude people saying the worst thing to women? Why don't you pick your battles better? How about an actual boss of an employee doing that?
Look, he said in an unoffensive way that he found her attractive.
She said, "I don't appreciate that..."
He said, and this one is a direct quote of his response: "I sincerely regret my remarks have offended you and I offer you my apologies"
And then she's like, "That isn't good enough".
Not sure what she wanted. Did she want him to come by and lay down in a mud puddle while she walked over it on top of his back? His apology was short. Exactly what you say to someone who clearly does not want your advanced. That she decided she wanted to punish him socially over it because she didn't feel like his apology was enough is on her and is an entirely different sort of evil worth discussing.
Baring some significant advances in technology that let us know if we have a shot with the other person this will never be possible.
You do understand that your first interaction doesn't need to be hitting on them, right? I mean that seems to be your assumption when responding.
My first interaction doesn't mean anything here. I was a proper gentleman in my dating days. I dated existing friends with an established relationship until I found my wife. You and I probably personally agree on appropriate ways to initiate contact with someone you're interested in.
But yours and my way, if we are similar here, aren't then somehow any kind of cosmic law or rule about how it must be done by everyone else. This guy fumbled through a pickup line. I mean, come on, it was basically, "Um... excuse me... uh... I know it may be politically incorrect to say this but I find your appearance attractive..." he might as well be a middle schooler talking to Tammy after her breasts came in over the summer and trying unsuccessfully to divert his eyes away when she talks. Creepy? Sure. A terrible human being that needs to be shamed out of a job or whatever? Um, no.
Lol yeah try that on someone who buys your story that it's only a difference in attractiveness.
Bear in mind that I'm not necessarily saying that this story in particular is that case. I think the problem here was that it was on LinkedIn. In general, I'm commenting on the responders who have decided to ream the poor bastard for saying he thought the girl was pretty as though that were auto-evil.
Unprofessional, yes. In as much as many of us view LinkedIn as a purely professional networking site. I think we're projecting how we'd take this from other people and other situations onto this one.
People demonizing the act of expressing attraction at all are the ones I'm talking out against. So perhaps you and I could be talking past each other a bit. But even though this guy did this on LinkedIn, please remember that he apologized when she expressed her anger at him. This wouldn't even be considered a case of sexual harassment in the workplace. Imagine a guy walking buy someone's desk and saying that "This picture is absolutely stunning". If the girl says she doesn't appreciate that attention and he backs off then all is well. If she likes it then maybe they'd be one of the millions of people who marry within their own company (In fact, relationships in the workforce are more likely to result in marriage than most other meeting locations. [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2437181/Relationships-begin-workplace-likely-result-marriage-new-study-reveals.html])
LOL
Yeah now sucking at social interaction is the same as cerebral palsy and can't be unlearned. I mean that is the implication. That social awkwardness isn't a matter of learning social rules in this case. Which, btw, he knew given his comment about political correctness.
He probably thought that commenting on how it was politically incorrect would make the comment unoffensive. Like when a bigot says, "This may come across as racist but..." They honestly think that this preface exonerates the suffix. Not that I mean to associate this guy with bigotry but I think this would be a common enough example to use here. Another example would be a sheriff that wrote me a ticket for going five miles over the speed limit on the way from our wedding to our honeymoon while our car said just married and we were still wearing our wedding clothes. He said, "You guys are going to think I'm a dick but...".
And you know maybe these people arent going to learn a thing with you and others making excuses for them citing pseudoscience about human nature and how they shouldn't be blamed.
Look, another person isn't going to learn anything from what happens to this person. People who are public opinion-savy are going to learn from this and some honest people may even be scared off from pursuing a relationship with someone who would otherwise appreciate it. But these people? I don't think they'll learn from this.
What's more is I don't think crucifying a man who did it in the mild way this guy did is any good. What we need is some grease ball jackass who says, "Have your people call my people, let's find a way to get me, in you." Then that's a good story to have the discourse one. Not some bumbling mild mannered attorney who thinks he's being charming when he's dead wrong.
