I give you a printer that makes a working copy of whatever you print. What do you do?

[GrimHeaper]

Fairy world is very angry about all of their magic being used up.

 

[monkey_man]

diamonds. So I can sell them, and buy the best computer evar
and the nanosuit from crysis.
and the gravity gun.
and antimatter (futurama) for energy.
and.... sandviches. lots of sandviches

 

[monkey_man]

a cheeseburger...

So it begins...

 

[orc1231515]

i'd print a printer that would print working copies of living things, then i could live like a god with the power of resurection.

 

[Brandon237]

Normandy SR2, Portal gun, lightsaber is the obvious.
Slightly less obvious is a mansion, money, and an invulnerability... watch thing, that can manipulate time.
Lastly, some nice things for my friends, and by nice I mean set for life nice...

 

[Amphoteric]

Money. Lotsa money. That I would then spend on lots of awesome things.

I presume prostitutes.

Thats the only living awesome thing I can think of.

 

[Amphoteric]

I'd print out enough food to end world hunger.

Also, what would happen if you printed out Earth or the Sun?

Everyone would die...

 

[lastwanderer]

the Cyberan ACU from supreme commander, sell the secrets of near infinte energy and resources plus FTL travel from its data banks then use its wormhole base transport system to start exploring the universe

 

[loc978]

gold bars, diamonds... by the time I completely devalue all precious metals and gems, I'd be a billionaire.

Also, a Star Wars-style personal shield generator.

 

[Blitzwarp]

Money. Lotsa money. That I would then spend on lots of awesome things.

I presume prostitutes.

Thats the only living awesome thing I can think of.

Well in my case it would be gigolos, but why the hell not? That would make for a few interesting nights on the razz at least.

 

[Dfskelleton]

The most obvious answer:

Spoiler: So obvious

[HEADING=1]A FREAKING JETPACK.[/HEADING]

How has noone said this yet?
Also, is a pet Shoggoth alive? I could definitely make use of a pet Shoggoth...

 

[0986875533423]

I'd take a photograph of the printer, go into Photoshop (or, in my case, GIMP) and draw a crude red arrow pointing to it with the words "Can, on top of base functionality, print copies of living things" then print that.

Then I'd print the Heart of Lorkhan, Wraithguard, Sunder and Keening, and make myself a God.

 

[8bitmaster]

a genies's lamp. Then wish that the printer can print living things. then porn.

 

[Sn1P3r M98]

A cure for all the world's diseases, then a giant house, a few Lamborghinis, and a smartphone, because my EnV touch really isn't cutting it.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and guns. A hell of a lot of guns.

 

[Video Gone]

I print the lamp from Aladdin. Yay loopholes

Yeah I guess...You'd get a very nice lamp... But you wouldn't get the Genie you realize? Nothing alive. Nice try

A lamp isn't alive, though.
WHOOSH
Master of logic.
Oh, by the way, there's another logical fallacy in the OP. If my second wish is "I wish I didn't say that out loud", wouldn't I still have all three wishes because I would never have said those two things?

Anyway, to be fair to your intended rules, the first thing I'd print would be an object which would grant me, and only me, omnipotence and omniscience at a mere touch, then destroy itself forever.

Oh yeah.
I said it.

To not make myself all-powerful and all-knowing, I'd print Travis Touchdown's beam katana, The Complete Beginner's One-Step Guide To Being Travis Touchdown, the best book that could ever be written, the greatest musical piece that could ever be composed... Indeed, the greatest piece possible for every medium.

Scratch that, actually.
I'd print schematics and infinite materials for an indefinitely sustainable and indestructible virtual reality that would grant untold joys to all, forever.

I'd turn the real world into a paradise, but everyone's doing that, and it'd get cluttered anyway. And I'd feel a right bastard if I didn't fulfil the eternally delayed promise of virtual reality.
Lazy scientists. Those biochemists should be in computer labs programming shit, damn it. Just like the marketing department of Blizzard should apparently have been balancing units in Starcraft II.

 

[Gibboniser]

Probably the SR2 Normandy, since I can't have a pokémon or a dragon

 

[WeOwnTheSky]

Not being able to print anything alive makes it less fun : (

 

[Wintermoot]

the genie and use it for more wishes
a working PIPboy3000
a working MS-06J Zaku II (Zaku,s rule!)

 

[vxicepickxv]

Not being able to print anything alive makes it less fun : (

I'd print out an instruction manual for it, so I could see the difference between alive, and was alive.

 

[Dieter Meyer]

Lots of money, and then sell my money for more money!! aaaaaargh!!!