I keep alienating everyone

[chozo_hybrid]

I feel like we're just getting one side of the story here so I withhold my judgment as to who's in the wrong here.

However some advice is that people usually doesn't like being corrected if they are astonished at learning something new.
How you correct them matters.

Considering it seems like a running theme that people think you're acting superior I'd analyze how I interact with people if I were you.

I'd agree with this, after all, if quite a few people end up with this opinion of someone, then it's usually a reflection of their behavior toward people in general.

If a whole bunch of people say there's a problem with something, and one person doesn't think so, odds are, there's a problem.

How often do you end up correcting your friends, if it's a fair amount, then I'd say you have to learn not to do it unless it's something really important.

It's their fault that they reacted this way, and frankly, they seem over-sensitive, and very stubborn.

You can find better friends, and it's not your fault.

Is it their fault? We don't know how often he does this to them. Nobody likes being corrected, not really. And if someone is doing it to you a lot, you would get annoyed/frustrated. Odds are it's partly his fault, because it has to do with him, whether he agrees with, or knows it or not.

 

[Valnyan]

Spot1990 is pretty on spot there. If a few friends find you condescending they are probably stupid and jealous, if it keeps happening times and times again. Well ... maybe it's time to look in the mirror.

As for religion ... atheists grate my nerves. And I am atheist myself.
First, atheism, is as much about belief than religion. The reason is simple, in most religion "God" is something the human will never be ever able to see, sense or hear which makes it impossible to disprove and impossible to prove. No matter how much facts you pile up none will ever prove that "God" exists or doesn't.
You can Believe it exist, you can belive it doesn't exist. You can Think it exists or not. But you can't Know, neither can they, and you can't Prove it to them as much as they can't prove it to you.

So, yeah, I don't like how a lot of atheist are condescending to every religious. It's as stupid as mocking peoples who believe in love because there is no scientific evidence of it. "It's all chimical attraction, the "love" you believe in is nothing more than a measly drug induced euphoria. Pstch, you so stupid !"

There is no stupid beliefs, only stupid peoples.

As long as they don't act like jerks because of their beliefs. I'm an atheist, I'm not afraid to share my (absence of) belief to religious peoples, but I don't go out of my way to ridicule their beliefs ... unless they start trying to convert me or tell me I'm going to burn in hell while they get free cocktails in paradise.

Beliefs, opinions, sensibilities ... All in all everyone has different ones. You can disagree without being a prick.
Morale of the story : Don't be a prick.

 

[DrunkOnEstus]

You're bound to meet a lot of people in life who claim to not give a shit about school, or learning "boring" things. What makes them special is that they seem to get quite defensive when they're around someone who seemingly does care about their intellectual acumen. The end goal of your chosen career path is to constantly surround yourself with colleagues and theories that test what you know and expand it, not to lord it over those who don't seem to care about it at all, accidentally or otherwise. Also, especially concerning pseudo-science, people like to circlejerk somewhat about it, using it to verify their innate desires/beliefs or to feel better about something. If you really care about making and keeping friends, it's not worth correcting that stuff. They don't want to know the truth and they don't want you ruining it for them.

 

[lacktheknack]

If EVERYONE thinks you come across as high-and-mighty and smarter-than-thou, it's usually because you do.

It would be easier if you copy-pasted your Facebook exchange.

 

[templar1138a]

My mom's boyfriend once said something that I believe fits your situation: When someone points a finger, three are pointing back at them. It seems to me they feel threatened and inadequate when they compare their intelligence to yours, so they lash out at you because they don't like the idea that they were wrong about something. It's their problem and it isn't your fault.

I've had comparable experiences with people I knew who had lofty philosophical notions, whereas I'm down-to-earth to the point of being cynical. I've been accused of being a pessimist who's only trying to spread negative energy when all I did was present a pragmatic point-of-view.

My advice is to not let these responses deter you and to keep doing what you're doing. It wouldn't hurt to go through this checklist first.
1. Is this something that needs to be said?
2. Is this something that needs to be said by me?
3. Is this something I need to say right now?

And if they continue to insult you, you can decide not to help them if they come to you for answers in your field afterwards or you can calmly ask why they're so offended by your knowledge.

Also, I hope your fiancé stands up for you when his parents get on your case. When you marry a man, you marry his family as well.

 

[JimB]

I don't feel comfortable saying anything here because I don't know you or your friends, but I will say that if two different people have made the same complaint against you and are mad enough to explode about it, then it's worth asking yourself if they have a point. Again, I have no idea if they do or don't, so I'm not implying anything here; I'm just saying, don't dismiss the question out of hand. If your conscience isn't bothering you, then that's probably good enough.

 

[Nickolai77]

I find it very odd that your friends would get so verbally aggressive your described situations just off the bat. I half suspect there's other things you've said and done OP which may have pre-disposed them to thinking you're "stuck up", so i'd suggest you consider you're behaviour in general to check if that may be cause behind these outbursts. Otherwise, maybe they're just over sensitive idiots.

 

[Angie7F]

Maybe you can learn something from the Big Bang Theory.

i think some people just come off as irritating to other people and should pick the right group of friends to hang out with.
However, even those friends can find you annoying too so you just have to try to take a step back and evaluate yourself.

I prefer to just stick with people who like me though...
It is too much trouble trying to pretend to be someone you are not

 

[Froggy Slayer]

Strangely enough, I have a similar, yet very different problem. My friends actually do think that I know everything. I'm smart, sure, but I'm not some sort of hypergenius.

My mum, on the other hand, does get pissed off if I use long words. Apparently there was a discussion on one of these 'Loose Women' type shows where they said that people who correct people are 'just making themselves look stupider', whatever that means.

 

[KungFuJazzHands]

OP, you're associating with the wrong people. It's as simple as that.

 

[DaphneRose]

Yo, my dad does this. And let me just say tone is everything. Sometimes he's not even saying anything particularly intelligent or above anyone's head, but if you're not careful on how you convey yourself people will start calling you a condescending ass.

And people will take that interpretation of you all the way to facebook, where they'll be much more happy to rant at you in full view of everyone with a monitor and a newsfeed.
It starts an ugly ball rolling, so god speed friend I hope you get this figured out. You sound like a nice guy to me.

 

[MopBox]

Make a game out of it! Find new and exciting ways to aleinate people! And get creative, you can try speed rounds, loudest, most chemically induced, or best use of hand pupppets.

 

[Hyper-space]

As someone said earlier, post the facebook exchange, then we'll judge.

People who are smart/think they are smart/smart relative to the people they associate with often times don't get basic social communication, tone, presentation, ect.

BUT really, bias is often times underestimated in people. You might be the biggest douche-popsicle to walk the earth without knowing it, because it doesn't matter how smart someone is, bias will cloud their judgement as thoroughly as anyone else.

So...pics or it didn't happen? or something.

 

[Dangit2019]

>says he doesn't know why he alienates people
>twilight sparkle avatar

I kid of course. Sort of.

OT: Yeah, sometimes it's better to detach yourself from a group in search of a better one. The buffer time can actually help you learn who you are more anyway.