I really need help...

[Glamorgan]

Okay, I'm going to put it really simply. I need help, badly.

This isn't technically about a girl, but it does include one. And speaking of such...

I have fallen for a girl, who is in a serious relationship with another guy. Before you ask, I am 14, as are they, and the guy is a christian, meaning that they aren't engaging in any sexual activity. Honestly, they haven't even kissed.

Now, normally, you wouldn't think this is such a big deal, but I fall in love, way too easily. This is the 3rd girl so far this year, although I did like one already, at the beginning.

Aaaaanyway... Because of this, I have refused to let it become love. It just gets too awkward, and I'm already really good friends with her. I don't want to lose that. So, I have bottled up my emotions, and it's driving me insane.

That and everything else. I'm practically universally hated at school, I am constantly bullied, and I have so much homework, that I barely have any time for anything else. I am depressed, have chronic fatigue, I'm overweight, and anorexic, I have anxiety, I get panic attacks...

The list goes on. Sometimes, I wonder whether life is really worth living, after all of that.

So all I'm asking of you, my fellow Escapists, is whether I should just give up. I don't mean suicide, but I'm sure there are plenty of different ways. I could leave the school, run away, just ditch the people who I call my friends...

I honestly just need someone to tell me that, somehow, everything will be alright. I know that I sound really pathetic, and as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

So, here I am. Talking to the internet. Well, it's better than /b/, at any rate.

EDIT: Just so you know, I have recently started jogging, in an attempt to lose some weight.

EDIT2: Just so it is clear, I do have a small number of friends. More specifically, 4, who I care about more than anything, and a few others who aren't as close.

 

[delet]

Well of course you don't go to /b/ for advice, that's just stupid. That's what /adv/ is for.

OT: Look for another girl to obsess over. You'll completely forget about the current one and everything will work out.

 

[Kenko]

There's plenty of more girls down the road, you're hormones are just ballistic due to your age. She'll get out of your system soon enough.

If you want chicks to be attracted to you well you can start by taking a daily walk. Its not hard to shed some pounds if you just move about more often. And if possible at a later date try jogging. You'll feel better physically if you get into livable shape, and emotionally as well.

Simple and good advice.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

What can I say?

It's tough being a teenager. I'm still young enough to remember that. Even without your friends turning on you.

If you're in the market for advice, then I would say this - walk the dog, for exercise and the endorphins. Eat well. Go talk to a counsellor or someone you trust about those issues in your life. Ditch the friends who drag you down and make other friends by being kind yourself.

If you just want sympathy, then know that I am sorry for you. Best of luck.

 

[Glamorgan]

If you want chicks to be attracted to you well you can start by taking a daily walk. Its not hard to shed some pounds if you just move about more often. And if possible at a later date try jogging. You'll feel better physically if you get into livable shape, and emotionally as well.

Simple and good advice.

If you're in the market for advice, then I would say this - walk the dog, for exercise and the endorphins. Eat well. Go talk to a counsellor or someone you trust about those issues in your life. Ditch the friends who drag you down and make other friends by being kind yourself.

If you just want sympathy, then know that I am sorry for you. Best of luck.

Yeah, I have actually started jogging, once a day.

Also, whatever they say, I am not a sympathy whore. Just so that's clear. I know you weren't calling me one, but still...

 

[Palademon]

as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

I don't have any advice, but how would we have guessed that?

 

[Agent_Nahmen_Jayden]

*man-hug* Don't worry man, you'll be fine. Just focus on your school work, stay friends with your true ones, and come here if you ever feel down. Working hard in school means you get to be the boss of those ass hats and make 5 times their salary.

And really just keep 4-5 vids. laying around on youtube that you can watch to cheer yourself up and make you forget about stupid crap in life.

Here's a freebie:

Spoiler

You don't love those girls though, I believe that would be the hormones, that'll stop as you get older, as for now just do your best to ignore them.

 

[JLML]

You should talk to [user]Aylaine[/user]. She will get you happy again!

At least it works for me... She's the nicest person on the escapist! =P

 

[Glamorgan]

You should talk to [user]Aylaine[/user]. She will get you happy again!

At least it works for me... She's the nicest person on the escapist! =P

That she is. I will talk to her later, when I have some time.

as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

I don't have any advice, but how would we have guessed that?

Well, if anyone has seen me around, I can be a bit of a jerk. I was also being really down during that post, and if you want to be around that for any longer than you have to, you're a better friend than them.

 

[Rylot]

Quit life at 14? You know how ridiculous that sounds right? You're probably sick of people telling you there are more fish in the sea, but it's true. There's no one of the fairer sex worth getting down about. Honestly, high school probably sucked for most of us. Maybe find a hobby club at school? As shameful as it is to admit I played Magic back in the day.
As bad as high school is it's only four years. Your hormones will chill out and life will improve.

 

[Jfswift]

The only advice I can offer is to tough it out. Life does get better once you leave High School.

 

[Palademon]

as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

I don't have any advice, but how would we have guessed that?

Well, if anyone has seen me around, I can be a bit of a jerk. I was also being really down during that post, and if you want to be around that for any longer than you have to, you're a better friend than them.

Yh, people think I'm a downer, obviously cant be a fun guy. They think if I said an innuendo or a joke it must've been by accident, so someone feels they have to point it out.
And I'm pretty sure quite alot of people already hate more for how down I felt in the last thread I made. But it's the type of people you described which explain why even kind people disappoint me. I can be your friend if that is want you want, aslong as you're not messaging me every second you see me online.

 

[Crowser]

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

 

[Glamorgan]

as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

I don't have any advice, but how would we have guessed that?

Well, if anyone has seen me around, I can be a bit of a jerk. I was also being really down during that post, and if you want to be around that for any longer than you have to, you're a better friend than them.

Yh, people think I'm a downer, obviously cant be a fun guy. They think if I said an innuendo or a joke it must've been by accident, so someone feels they have to point it out.
And I'm pretty sure quite alot of people already hate more for how down I felt in the last thread I made. But it's the type of people you described which explain why even kind people disappoint me. I can be your friend if that is want you want, aslong as you're not messaging me every second you see me online.

Aha, thanks. And no, I'm not that kind of guy.

You have had 3 girlfriends but never kissed one of them? (I assume)I dont care if you are Hardcore Christian there is nothing wrong with Kissing.

You shouldnt go kill yourself because you are sad things will get better.

Okay, you really didn't read this properly, did you?
I said, this is the 3rd girl I have fallen for this year. I am the kind of guy who hangs out on an internet forum. I am single, and have always been so. I was actually referring to the girls boyfriend. He is christian, and hasn't kissed her. I am not religious.
And I said I wasn't going to kill myself. Just so that's clear.

 

[Kermi]

You're 14. Nothing you experience at your age will seem important in five years, even end-of-the-world stuff. Figuring out how to handle relationships is part of growing up. This is your opportunity to learn a little more about life and stop being such a pussy.

 

[Jonluw]

Yeah, I'm going to say that if you already know that you fall in love something like three times a year, you can just ignore your feelings towards this girl and wait for them to pass.

Alternately, you could tell the girl. Tell her that you are in love with her, but that you won't pursue her because she is already in a relationship, and you know it will pass very soon in any case. Be sure to explain that you are telling her this because keeping your feelings to yourself was driving you insane.

But there's something I really want to know: They're in a platonic relationship at age 14? What makes them different from any other pair of friends then? What defines them as girlfriend and boyfriend if they can not express their love for each other? Do they have this crazy idea that they'll wait until they get married to do anything a pair of sweethearts would normally do? What are they trying to accomplish?

 

[CrazyDave DC]

I think I have an inkling of what you are currently going through. It is coming on nearly two years for me being completely and utterly obsessed with this one enchantingly beautiful, extraordinarily brilliant girl. I had the chance, once, to ask her out, but I didn't because I was afraid. Now, I have to live with the consequences of my decision not to act. Every day I find myself hating this guy who took up my mantle when I was too weak to accept the responsibility. I thought that dating someone else in the meantime ought to let me forget about my intense feelings for this other girl, but when the cracks of my hollow relationship began to show, I knew that I was only deluding myself. Moreover, once I realized that a dispassionate and emotionless relationship cannot endure for long, I noticed how completely and utterly screwed I am because of the fact that this girl I've been pining over for nearly two years now, the girl whose very glance in my direction is enough to make my heart melt, just also happens to be my best friend. I suppose the saddest part of all is that, unless I choose to jeopardize the friendship, I will never be able to tell her I love her; she will never know the extent of my feelings, and that, my friend, is a level of grief beyond anything I have ever known.

The point of me telling you all of this is not to highlight my current depression, but to explain to you that the only way to make it through such crises relatively unscathed is to appreciate the little things. Now I know that that piece of wisdom is a little too tried and true for most people, but for me, it is my comfort and my inner joy. If there's anything that depression can teach a person, it's that one has to focus on what he does have as opposed to what he doesn't. After a year of wallowing in my own self-pity, I caught on to this notion and began to realize all of the amazing things in my life, i.e. friends, family, health. From what I can tell from your message, it seems as though nothing is going too well for you at the moment, however, if you begin to shift your focus to things like your friends and your health, then I'd be willing to bet you'll see some improvement. In my last year of high school, I basically joined all the clubs I could, (athletic and non-athletic), so that I could improve myself both physically and mentally. You might find yourself a friend in the process, you never know.

In two days time, I leave for my first year of university in a place halfway across the globe, and though I'm dreadfully afraid of messing things up, I'm also extremely excited about all the friends I'm going to make and the good times I'm going to share with them. Though I continue to be filled with sadness over this love I have for this one particular girl, I continue with my policy of appreciating the little things, for despite the fact that this girl isn't my girlfriend, she is still my best friend of whom I am eternally grateful to have.

 

[lambsheep]

I got bullied by one guy at my school, I normally just dismiss it but one day it got to me so I told him to fuck off. The next day i was walking home with my freinds and the dick at school got his brother to threaten me. Plus of all the homework and stupid people at my school made me angrier. I ended up punching a wall, breaking my hand and having to go have surgery. So my advise is take you depression out on people you hate. And about your girl problem, ask yourself if she s really worth it, if so talk to her and see if things change, If not leave it alone and find someone else.
Dont get sad, get angry.

 

[SeriousSquirrel]

First off, I feel ya on the girl thing. I tend to fall really easily for girls. My solution? Just find something to distract yourself. Videogames, art, movies, etc. Find something and focus on it. Your more likely to just fall into IT, than your are to find IT.

Also, you are not universaly hated here. And you can't be truely universaly hated.

And I've felt the same way. You're smarter than me though, as you said suicide is out of the question. While things are tough, and will be tough, I can gauruntee you that somewhere down the line you'll get your "pot of gold"

To quote Rocky Balboa "You'll never hit as hard as life, it's about being able to take the hits and keep getting back up"


[quote="Glamorgan" posI honestly just need someone to tell me that, somehow, everything will be alright. I know that I sound really pathetic, and as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.
[/quote]


Also, everyone, at some point in their life has needed someone to tell them that. It doesn't sound pathetic.

I started losing weight recently aswell. First, make sure to keep healthy while doing it. Second, try dressing up a notch if you want a boost in confidence. Not like suits, but not real baggy stuff either. I've found that that helps me with confidence.

I don't mean to sound preachy, these are just things that helped me out while I was in a somewhat similar position.

 

[Lust]

-snip-

I have been there.

I know that feeling of overwhelming sadness. You feel like complete garbage. But, remember that it will pass. You'll meet new friends and move on to do other things. Just try to take things one day at a time. Enjoy life as much as you can.

Don't be afraid of not being accepted...........................so.............yeah.



Be happy, friend.