I really need help...

[Canadian Briton]

Well if you want to lose weight cut down on snacking (at one point I only had one snack a day and I lost some weight. Even without exercise) Try to stand up to the bullies or just completely ignore them (they may lose interest). If all else fails tell the teachers. It might be the snitch way of doing but it is better then being bullied all day. Can't help you with the girl trouble though because I'am in a similar situation (except its not that she has a boyfriend its because her parents tell her to not have one and so she dosen't want one. And no I do not try to make her be my girlfriend. Although everyone knows I like her.)

 

[XJ-0461]

Okay, I'm going to put it really simply. I need help, badly.

This isn't technically about a girl, but it does include one. And speaking of such...

I have fallen for a girl, who is in a serious relationship with another guy. Before you ask, I am 14, as are they, and the guy is a christian, meaning that they aren't engaging in any sexual activity. Honestly, they haven't even kissed.

Now, normally, you wouldn't think this is such a big deal, but I fall in love, way too easily. This is the 3rd girl so far this year, although I did like one already, at the beginning.

Aaaaanyway... Because of this, I have refused to let it become love. It just gets too awkward, and I'm already really good friends with her. I don't want to lose that. So, I have bottled up my emotions, and it's driving me insane.

That and everything else. I'm practically universally hated at school, I am constantly bullied, and I have so much homework, that I barely have any time for anything else. I am depressed, have chronic fatigue, I'm overweight, and anorexic, I have anxiety, I get panic attacks...

The list goes on. Sometimes, I wonder whether life is really worth living, after all of that.

So all I'm asking of you, my fellow Escapists, is whether I should just give up. I don't mean suicide, but I'm sure there are plenty of different ways. I could leave the school, run away, just ditch the people who I call my friends...

I honestly just need someone to tell me that, somehow, everything will be alright. I know that I sound really pathetic, and as you can guess, most of my friends have ditched me already.

So, here I am. Talking to the internet. Well, it's better than /b/, at any rate.

EDIT: Just so you know, I have recently started jogging, in an attempt to lose some weight.

My friend, we have a lot in common. As for the relationship thing, I can't help you, seeing as I'm, in a similar position with my best friend.

For the other stuff though, maybe a physical fitness class could help. Something like boxing or martial arts might help you gain self confidence and get fit at the same time.

But don't give up. Life seems shit for everyone at 14. Well, everyone who isn't part of the "in crowd" but who wants to be part of that anyway? But yeah, it'll get better. Find some friends with similar interests to yours if your current friends are dicks. Just have faith that things will improve.

 

[Nouw]

Just forget the girl, start up Buddhism, do all the studying and homework at home, stop coming here if you can't manage and change that addicting avatar

 

[Quid Plura]

The advice from a teacher (as if you need it, but anyway)

Highschool may seem like hell for some teenagers. I'm not saying it is alright that way, but it may feel like hell. The situation you describe is pretty extreme though. Most students are just confused about everything. You could try studying at home, like the second poster suggested. There are some pretty decent programs for that, and you may feel better.

However, remember that you, as a person, are worth it to be loved. Telling the teachers may be described as the snitch way, and maybe it is, in the eyes of some of your fellow students. But teachers are humans too, and some of them have had the same problems in high school. If you are not comfortable with talking to a teacher, or if they're complete pricks, you can always try to seek professional help. I know it sounds extreme, but it can really help you define yourself as a person. You are now letting other people define you.

And as for the falling in love, I had the same issue at your age, you'll grow over it, at least I did. It can be awkward at times, but it's nothing unusual.

 

[Kenko]

If you want chicks to be attracted to you well you can start by taking a daily walk. Its not hard to shed some pounds if you just move about more often. And if possible at a later date try jogging. You'll feel better physically if you get into livable shape, and emotionally as well.

Simple and good advice.

If you're in the market for advice, then I would say this - walk the dog, for exercise and the endorphins. Eat well. Go talk to a counsellor or someone you trust about those issues in your life. Ditch the friends who drag you down and make other friends by being kind yourself.

If you just want sympathy, then know that I am sorry for you. Best of luck.

Yeah, I have actually started jogging, once a day.

Also, whatever they say, I am not a sympathy whore. Just so that's clear. I know you weren't calling me one, but still...

You asked for advice, and I gave you some. Doesnt mean you're a sympathy-whore. And im in no position to judge you either, everyone has a few downs as well as ups throughout their life. You're in a down and needed some help, everyones been there. Some dicks just dont want to admit it.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

SNIP

Ok man sit down, if yout sitting down already sit down again. Its motivational speech time. I was just like you. Im 16 now and in your position i was EXACTLY like you. Heres what your can do. Your going to look at yourself in a mirror and look beyond the surface, your going to say "what about me do i think i can improve on". Dont say hate, or dislike. When you feel like you need a fresh start, a character overhaul got me on a good path, i got a girlfriend and had way more friends than i did before. I didnt become cooler or try and imitate anyone else. The main thing to take away from this is be more like yourself, if you are not happy with an aspect of you, you can make yourself happy with it by changing it or accepting it you never have to put up with being unhappy with yourself. Ever. You are the thing YOU have the most inlufence over. You can be WHOEVER you want to be! Never accept your not going to be happy with you EVER. Not while you can take steps to make you more happy with you. Thats step one and its VERY VERY important!

Next go to school. Look at your friends and honestly evaluate them. Why do you like them? Why should you like them? Pick your closer ones and talk to them, ask yourself from their position what would they want a friend to be like. Friendship is a little about compromise, before you want them to be good friends to you, be a good friend to them and let it happen. Find like minded people, i met my best friend at some computing club when i was 12, it was nerdy as hell but he has good character. People who are like you will feel a much better bond. Like sports? Or games? Or music? Someone or in fact many people WILL feel the same. Find common ground with some people casually in class and get talking. Your friends dont need to be exactly like you, they just need to see you as someone they can relate to, even if its onyl a small thing like a band you can build a friendship from there.

This year ive decided to get more social with the rest of my year, my plan is to gather a few of my like minded friends and kinda move a little but away from my social group who tend not to like talking to everyone else and put myself out there.

My main point is. DO SOMETHING. You can ALWAYS do something. Never accept your going to be unhappy always try and see what you can do to improve your situation.

The jogging, pure gold. ive started that too and im lifting some wieghts for an hour every night to try and build up my lanky frame. Im going to music festivals and concerts and have met LOADS of people just IN THE STREET who come up to me because of my shirt and wrist band and have a chat to me about it. I also went to a club with a mate on the spurr of the moment. I met some great new people there. Be more impulsive, if you think" hey yeah i could do this itd be awesome!" DO IT. Unless its life threatening... in which case dont.

I can also promise like half of your phycological problems WILL be stress related or made worse by stress. Hopefully the idea your taking an active step in your life will be enough to take a little off you.

I feel your pain dude. Except the fat bit, i was aways skinny to the nth degree and a lanky little twat.

EDIT: My girlfriend also left me recently and im now in love with my mates girlfriend whos not that good to her but you know, dont let that kind of shit get you down. I have a plan and as long as i feel i can control what happens in my life im happy.

 

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Well you say you need help, but it looks like your already starting to improve yourself. Your taking steps in the right direction. Your making progress. Things WILL be alright. Because you've got to remember, things are always darkest before dawn. May be cliche, but certain things are cliche for a reason, right?

I'm here to lend an ear, or a shoulder if ya need. It seems like the Escapist is a pretty nice place to be able to get at least some help. So, we'll be here for you. I know I will at least.

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

There's plenty of more girls down the road, you're hormones are just ballistic due to your age. She'll get out of your system soon enough.

If you want chicks to be attracted to you well you can start by taking a daily walk. Its not hard to shed some pounds if you just move about more often. And if possible at a later date try jogging. You'll feel better physically if you get into livable shape, and emotionally as well.

Simple and good advice.

You, gentleman, speak the truth.

In the summer vacation I started talking every day for about 3 hours, going out with friends etc. I lost a stone and a half. I feel so much better now.

 

[Aesir23]

Ugh, I've been there. Minus the girl trouble of course.

Anyway, ditch the friends who turn on you (obviously) and go in for therapy. Especially the therapy. It'll really help in the long run, trust me on that. (I was in therapy from Grade six until.... A couple of years ago, so seven years.) It'll definitely help with the depression. As for Anxiety... there are different types of anxiety disorders. If it's Social Anxiety, the thing that really helps is to find a situation with a group of people where you don't feel judged. Perhaps a support group with other kids who are bullied?

Also, if you do want to lose weight, cut down on snacking if you tend to do that a lot. Of course you also mentioned jogging, so keep that up as well.

 

[NotSoNimble]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

14 year olds think they know what love is?!?!?

LOL!!!!

You are experiencing 'LUST' if you have felt this 3 times this year alone.

Don't get carried away, everyone your age starts to feel this when puberty hits. It is normal, and not a big deal..... just make sure you don't get carried away with your thoughts of impure actions based on a girl smiling at you or 'giving you the time of day'.

You are driving yourself insane, don't try to blame an outside source, you have only yourself to blame for how you react to your initial feelings.

When you are 10 years older you will 'LOL and HAHAHA' more than I have for how silly this sounds.

Regardless, keep on fighting the good fight, and relax........ it is natural to be overwhelmed by simple attraction. Take it slow, and don't let yourself get carried away.

 

[DRSH1989]

If you feel unattractive to females, maybe you should try take up some gym classes as well. Or home exercises, I dunno... try push ups.

 

[Radelaide]

I don't mean to sound harsh or anything but it doesn't sound like you're falling in love. Or you're mistaking your feelings for love.

And if you want to better yourself, you should do it for you and not for some girl. Girls are great for motivation but when it comes down to it, you might not end up with her. Start jogging, eat better and do all that for you.

When it comes to bullying, talk to your principle. Don't go to teachers, they won't do anything. Take a parent to your principle and tell them that student x is bulling you and you want the school to do something or you'll leave. Leaving might even be an option. Going to a new school or doing home school.

 

[Grey_Focks]

Stay in school, talk to your friends about the issues your having with them, try to find new women (seriously, looks matter LITTLE. Confidence in yourself is the greatest way to get a girl), and accept that puberty sucks. Once you've done all of the above, you will come out of it a better person.

Also- develop a sense of humor. Overweight funny kids are probably one of the most popular "types" of kids in high school. I know, I was one.

 

[TailstheHedgehog]

Life is ALWAYS worth living. Don't for a moment think otherwise! My heart goes out to you - but don't pine over a girl if you're chances are unrealistic. Teenagers are stupid - teenage love is stupid. Boys make no sense.
ANYWAY - you know, if things are really bad, perhaps you might like to see a psychiatrist? My friend went through problems nothing near the scale of what you're going through and still went to see a psychiatrist - aparently it helped.

EDIT: Just so you know, I have recently started jogging, in an attempt to lose some weight.

That's good! It means you have the motivation and the capacity to believe you can change! Another bit of advice is always eat in small portions. It's not what you eat, it's how much. Anything's for possible for an Escapist member!

 

[Glamorgan]

Thank you, everyone. You have made me feel infinitely better.

is it a little sad, that some random people I have never met, are nicer to me than almost anyone else I know?

 

[V TheSystem V]

15 was the age where I got obsessed over a girl. We're really close friends now, but now she has her last boyfriend back in her life I feel as if I have been cast aside. Haven't seen her in nearly a month.

Anyways, not seeing them for a while can really help get your feelings in check. Assures you that it's just obsession, not love.

 

[interspark]

ooh seems like youve got alot on your plate there, i reglarly had bullying problems at achool but eventually it just sunk in that they were brainless pricks whom, one day, would be serving me at McDonalds (not litterally, i hate McDonalds) so theyre not really worth getting upset over. Unless theyre violent bullies, in which case i cant help ya, sorry

 

[Goldeneye103X2]

Well, if you want to forget about the world's demise, then I suggest fosusing on distracting things such as music and films. In particular I suggest Pendulum and snatch respectively. They make me feel so happy when I experience them.

However, this does not mean running away. I can't say something here which hasn't already been said, and I have gone through fairly bad things as well,(e.g. I keep on thinking that I'll die alone, and on a scholl trip to normandy this one guy suddenly decided to hate on me and got nearly everyone on the trip to bully me and be racist towards me, with little to no people helping me out.) It'll pass. I have an idea. It's something that i'll be using when I start school. Completely reboot your life. Jogging is a very good start already, but what would also work is changing your personality to become wittier and less agressive than it is now (but if you aren't agressive already, then you're kinda all set) and to finally engagae in a wider list of activities.

Y'know, I'm confident that this is going to be a good year.....

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

Le snip 2: snip strikes again

I can understand EXACTLY where you're coming from i recently became totally fixated on a girl for a few weeks. i googled her name a few days ago, discovered she had a boyfreind and she was Uber emo. There was also ANOTHER girl i had liked for a long time but i realized she only liked me because i look like a guy she likes. so i forgot about them and me and my indestructibley huge ego moved on with life.

As for the bullying, The Posts above me pretty much sum it up. just ignore them and they will hopefully die of a drug overdose or choking on their own vomit or something (im not sure what bullies are like in australia though). Having an ego a large as mine helps a lot.

and also courage wolf pictures work wonders for me.

 

[Les Awesome]

if you feel that unattractive just join a gym or eat less or do more
remember a healthy body is an attractive body