just what the title says. This is mainly geared towards men dating post-op woman, but obviously it could go other ways as well. Do you think the transsexual individual is obligated to reveal this information? Or are they simply obligated to inform their partner that they can't make babies? Why? For all intents and purposes, let's say this particular transsexual makes a very convincing man/woman and one couldn't determine they used to be a member of the opposite sex without being told so.
edit: Oh good lord, I didn't think this thread would blow up like it did. Okay, well then, I think there is a couple of points that should be made here in the opening post (plus a few I just wanted to personally make)
1.) there is a difference between gender and sex. Transsexual individuals are defined by having mismatched gender and assigned sex at birth or by obtaining a sex change operations/taking hormones to correct this. Normally the two are interchangeable, but in regards to this particular topic the difference is integral to the issue.
2.)The actual condition of being born with or feeling as though you have mismatched gender and sex, as far as I know, is called gender identity disorder. When transsexual chooses to disclose, it is generally through explaining that they had this disorder corrected through a medical procedure (that is, assuming they've already had a sex change and such). They're not going to tell you "they're actually a dude", nor should they say that, as it would be inaccurate.
3.) Transsexuals are generally born the gender they claim to be (recent medical research can, as far as I know, confirm this), meaning when they say they are a man or woman, they are not lying to you nor are the attempting to deceive you by not sharing information regarding their previous sex (at least, generally). Once they receive the necessary medical attention, then they can be legally assigned a new sex and have every right to view themselves as such.
4.)As far as I know, the degree of ignorance and intolerance in regards to this topic is on the high side. This can and does result in a significant amount of violence directed towards transsexuals individuals. That said, I think we can all agree that a person's personal safety should be taken into consideration above most else. I think a bit of empathy in regards to that fact would be great (not that I'm accusing anyone in particular of anything).
5.) if you didn't already know, they aren't legally obligated to tell you about their past or private medical history (though the question is more in relation to morals anyway).
All that said, I personally do not feel that a transsexual person should conceal the information regarding their sex change from their partner, and I feel it would be morally wrong to do so in a serious trust based relationships. I think the moment a person starts to conceal information or intentionally omits information from their partner for fear of how they will react, they are being deceitful or "lying by omission". In terms of short term relationships or one night stands, I can't comment on them because I've never had one and never intend to. However, I also think a transsexual person would merely be feigning ignorance if they claimed they were not aware that the majority of people would be concerned with their past sex or that it would seriously affect their perceptions of the relationships itself. I also don't feel the argument that that the inevitable trans-phobia or misplaced sense of homophobia somehow relegates a potentially concerned partner's opinions to being negligible or petty due to their irrational origin, thus not worth addressing. Going right along with that, while it is unfair that the transsexual must be constantly reminded that they're a "freak" by feeling that they should have to tell others that they are a transsexual, I don't think that negates the reality of people's concerns.
To me, a somewhat apt analogy that kind of favors the non-transsexual person (though not perfectly apt, as hardly any analogy seems to be) is if you had a pet mouse that you can't get rid of no matter what. Now, let's say this particular mouse is fairly undetectable and entirely harmless. Now, let's say the vast majority of people, in this particular world, have a bad case of musophobia. We all know that phobias are irrational, yet I think we can all recognize that they are legitimate psychological conditions that are often ingrained into a person's psyche for one reason or another and can have serious emotional repercussions worth noting. Now, let's also say that the VAST minority of people actually own mice and the majority are ignorant of mice (only knowing that they have an aversion to them), thus it's not a concern that weighs heavily on most people's minds, nor do they think to inquire about it when meeting a person. Now, you could invite a person to your home or they could ask to come over. You could say it's that person's responsibility to ask if you own a mouse, though I would consider it polite to tell them, given the state of this world. However, I don't think you would be wrong to not tell them right away (maybe it even just slipped your mind). However, let's say this person starts coming over more often or even moves in with you, at this point you'd most likely have to start doing things to occasionally conceal the mouse (despite it being fairly undetectable), you'd probably have considered that this person most likely or at least may have a case of musophobia and would care to know if you own a mouse. At that point, I think it would no longer be a matter it slipping your mind, you'd probably have to make a conscious effort to hide this mouse, even if it was easy for you. Now let's say you two bought this house together, now the person doesn't even know there's a mouse living in the house that they have poured their life into and you're still hiding it from them.
The house here, to me, mostly represents the relationships and aspects of the transsexual person themselves. The mouse more so represents the knowledge that you used to be another sex and the potential real life factors of being a transsexual (hormones, inability to reproduce, medical records, etc.). You might say that you could twist the truth about the mouse to inform the partner only what they need to know, but never actually reveal that you have a mouse. That said, obviously it's not a perfect analogy (you buying the house more represents marriage than buying someone else, plus various other things that don't correlate well), but I think you get the idea.
As for more real life elements, I think a person's development and psyche would almost invariably be affected by their history as a member of the opposite sex, meaning if you don't tell your partner then entire aspects of who you are would never be known to your partner, which seems like a poor foundation for any relationship.
I also think (and correct me if I'm wrong here) that a transsexual has to take hormones for the rest of their lives and potentially deal with other medical issues that crop up as a result of their past sex. This is another important factor to consider. Also, if anyone is wondering, a post-op woman CAN get prostate cancer, but the prostate is very shrunken and it's extremely rare (only happening a few times in older woman).
Going off of my very point about violence, a transsexual person concealing their previous sex may actually increase the likelihood of them being a victim of violence in a long term relationship (if their partner found out).
Finally, I've seen the point made that if a transsexual can somehow find out that their partner "wouldn't care" without actually telling them, then why even bring it up? At that point, I think there is a bit more moral leeway, but they would still be potentially hiding it and aspects of their past for no good reason (evincing potential internal doubt in their partner's claim, doubt which I imagine wouldn't be healthy for the relationship). It also likely doesn't definitively determine that their partner doesn't care (though shame on them for possibly lying to seem polite). It is also an issue of trust and transparency, two things which I feel are integral to a stable relationship (again, he might no so much care about the actual fact that you were a transsexual, but the fact that you hid it from him). Just a few thoughts.
This is mostly just my opinion (obviously) and my perceptions on the issue have come a long way since the time I first inquired about it. In my mind, it's the culturally pervasive ignorance that seem to cause the most problems for both transsexual people and those who date them. Of course, if my own post is doing nothing but revealing my own unfortunate ignorance on the matter, then I apologize, but I suppose that's a risk I'm going to take.
p.s. I probably won't be replying to any comments directed at me, as I don't have a crap ton of time or energy to blow on this general topic anymore and my internet is acting very wacky right now.
edit: Oh good lord, I didn't think this thread would blow up like it did. Okay, well then, I think there is a couple of points that should be made here in the opening post (plus a few I just wanted to personally make)
1.) there is a difference between gender and sex. Transsexual individuals are defined by having mismatched gender and assigned sex at birth or by obtaining a sex change operations/taking hormones to correct this. Normally the two are interchangeable, but in regards to this particular topic the difference is integral to the issue.
2.)The actual condition of being born with or feeling as though you have mismatched gender and sex, as far as I know, is called gender identity disorder. When transsexual chooses to disclose, it is generally through explaining that they had this disorder corrected through a medical procedure (that is, assuming they've already had a sex change and such). They're not going to tell you "they're actually a dude", nor should they say that, as it would be inaccurate.
3.) Transsexuals are generally born the gender they claim to be (recent medical research can, as far as I know, confirm this), meaning when they say they are a man or woman, they are not lying to you nor are the attempting to deceive you by not sharing information regarding their previous sex (at least, generally). Once they receive the necessary medical attention, then they can be legally assigned a new sex and have every right to view themselves as such.
4.)As far as I know, the degree of ignorance and intolerance in regards to this topic is on the high side. This can and does result in a significant amount of violence directed towards transsexuals individuals. That said, I think we can all agree that a person's personal safety should be taken into consideration above most else. I think a bit of empathy in regards to that fact would be great (not that I'm accusing anyone in particular of anything).
5.) if you didn't already know, they aren't legally obligated to tell you about their past or private medical history (though the question is more in relation to morals anyway).
All that said, I personally do not feel that a transsexual person should conceal the information regarding their sex change from their partner, and I feel it would be morally wrong to do so in a serious trust based relationships. I think the moment a person starts to conceal information or intentionally omits information from their partner for fear of how they will react, they are being deceitful or "lying by omission". In terms of short term relationships or one night stands, I can't comment on them because I've never had one and never intend to. However, I also think a transsexual person would merely be feigning ignorance if they claimed they were not aware that the majority of people would be concerned with their past sex or that it would seriously affect their perceptions of the relationships itself. I also don't feel the argument that that the inevitable trans-phobia or misplaced sense of homophobia somehow relegates a potentially concerned partner's opinions to being negligible or petty due to their irrational origin, thus not worth addressing. Going right along with that, while it is unfair that the transsexual must be constantly reminded that they're a "freak" by feeling that they should have to tell others that they are a transsexual, I don't think that negates the reality of people's concerns.
To me, a somewhat apt analogy that kind of favors the non-transsexual person (though not perfectly apt, as hardly any analogy seems to be) is if you had a pet mouse that you can't get rid of no matter what. Now, let's say this particular mouse is fairly undetectable and entirely harmless. Now, let's say the vast majority of people, in this particular world, have a bad case of musophobia. We all know that phobias are irrational, yet I think we can all recognize that they are legitimate psychological conditions that are often ingrained into a person's psyche for one reason or another and can have serious emotional repercussions worth noting. Now, let's also say that the VAST minority of people actually own mice and the majority are ignorant of mice (only knowing that they have an aversion to them), thus it's not a concern that weighs heavily on most people's minds, nor do they think to inquire about it when meeting a person. Now, you could invite a person to your home or they could ask to come over. You could say it's that person's responsibility to ask if you own a mouse, though I would consider it polite to tell them, given the state of this world. However, I don't think you would be wrong to not tell them right away (maybe it even just slipped your mind). However, let's say this person starts coming over more often or even moves in with you, at this point you'd most likely have to start doing things to occasionally conceal the mouse (despite it being fairly undetectable), you'd probably have considered that this person most likely or at least may have a case of musophobia and would care to know if you own a mouse. At that point, I think it would no longer be a matter it slipping your mind, you'd probably have to make a conscious effort to hide this mouse, even if it was easy for you. Now let's say you two bought this house together, now the person doesn't even know there's a mouse living in the house that they have poured their life into and you're still hiding it from them.
The house here, to me, mostly represents the relationships and aspects of the transsexual person themselves. The mouse more so represents the knowledge that you used to be another sex and the potential real life factors of being a transsexual (hormones, inability to reproduce, medical records, etc.). You might say that you could twist the truth about the mouse to inform the partner only what they need to know, but never actually reveal that you have a mouse. That said, obviously it's not a perfect analogy (you buying the house more represents marriage than buying someone else, plus various other things that don't correlate well), but I think you get the idea.
As for more real life elements, I think a person's development and psyche would almost invariably be affected by their history as a member of the opposite sex, meaning if you don't tell your partner then entire aspects of who you are would never be known to your partner, which seems like a poor foundation for any relationship.
I also think (and correct me if I'm wrong here) that a transsexual has to take hormones for the rest of their lives and potentially deal with other medical issues that crop up as a result of their past sex. This is another important factor to consider. Also, if anyone is wondering, a post-op woman CAN get prostate cancer, but the prostate is very shrunken and it's extremely rare (only happening a few times in older woman).
Going off of my very point about violence, a transsexual person concealing their previous sex may actually increase the likelihood of them being a victim of violence in a long term relationship (if their partner found out).
Finally, I've seen the point made that if a transsexual can somehow find out that their partner "wouldn't care" without actually telling them, then why even bring it up? At that point, I think there is a bit more moral leeway, but they would still be potentially hiding it and aspects of their past for no good reason (evincing potential internal doubt in their partner's claim, doubt which I imagine wouldn't be healthy for the relationship). It also likely doesn't definitively determine that their partner doesn't care (though shame on them for possibly lying to seem polite). It is also an issue of trust and transparency, two things which I feel are integral to a stable relationship (again, he might no so much care about the actual fact that you were a transsexual, but the fact that you hid it from him). Just a few thoughts.
This is mostly just my opinion (obviously) and my perceptions on the issue have come a long way since the time I first inquired about it. In my mind, it's the culturally pervasive ignorance that seem to cause the most problems for both transsexual people and those who date them. Of course, if my own post is doing nothing but revealing my own unfortunate ignorance on the matter, then I apologize, but I suppose that's a risk I'm going to take.
p.s. I probably won't be replying to any comments directed at me, as I don't have a crap ton of time or energy to blow on this general topic anymore and my internet is acting very wacky right now.