If You Were Admin of the Entire Internet ...

[Guardian of Nekops]

Oh, and one last thing: When our politicians end up passing SOPA and the internet gets one huge CENSORED sign over it, you will have no one to blame but people like yourselves. Good day.

Incidentally, the first thing I would do with my admin account over the entire internet would be to find the email addresses, campaign websites, and any and all other accounts held by the founders of SOPA, and shut them down. For about, oh, two months.

Then I would ask them how they like it.

Piracy is bad. Destroying any place it happened, might have happened, or may one day happen, without a trial, is worse.

 

[JoJo]

... the true idea that friendship is magic (anyone who says otherwise has yet to have had a proper friend) ...

Throughout the years, I have discovered that "friendship" is based off of three things:

1 - Person B has and, to either get or be closer to , I will hang around this person. (In the case of a male/female relationship, is usually sex. Let's face it, that's why we date: to get laid.)

2 - Person B has done something that I feel that I have to repay in some way, so I will become friends with Person B to show thanks for what Person B has done.

3 - I want to hurt Person B because he's a dick/because he fucked my wife/because I can and befriending him will get me closer to Person B to do so.

There's probably a fourth reason, but I can't think of it off the top of my head. However, getting back to the topic, I do suppose the lightheartedness and cuteness of the show is something that will appeal to some people. And that's fine. Whatever floats your boat. However, there is a problem when Rule 34 creeps into the picture. (I've seen a picture of one of them in a leather sex outfit with stockings. God no.) Thanks for the explanation as to why you like it.

The fourth reason perhaps being if two people happen to like each others company? I know you're a self-declared cynic which means you'll deliberately look for the bad in everything but I struggle to believe that there's genuinely no-one in the world who you simply like being around.

As for the rule 34, I can assure you that is a minority of brony's interests, if at-all as I suspect a good deal of that stuff is simply trolling.

 

[Wintermoot]

net neutrality probably move as much servers to a neutral area (like the moon).
people need a license to access certain sites (to prevent people from taking the internet too serious).(google and news sites are accessible but stuff like fora and social networking are closed off)
keep 4chan.
Youtube turns back into the "old" layout.
Moot becomes my Jester.
nuke captcha,s.
ban every one under 16 from the internet (including PSN/XBL).
ban Ray William Johnson.
ban soccer moms.
considering the required license Twiter and FB should fix themselves.
trolling is still legit scrap that professional Trolling is a sport on the internet Olympics.
orphaned software (abandonware/stuff that,s not been released for years) becomes freely available.
PS
maybe wire a 1% of Apple,s income to my bank account (I think they can survive with just a 99% cut) to make my admin powers profitable.

 

[WonderWillard]

I would block all my little pony stuff from every site I go on. That's it, really.

 

[Death God]

Fist order of business: Post this picture on everyone's front page.

Spoiler: Tilt your screen to see

The secondly: try and clean it up a bit.

 

[Mstrswrd]

You wake up, groggily get yourself out of bed, walk over to your computer and bring it up. As you load up your internet browser, you notice that it's different. There are all kinds of control panels on the screen, giving you IP addresses and a whole host of other things. You then go to a website and see that you basically have all kinds of control options for it. That one and many more ... in fact, ALL of them!

That's when you notice a small notification that reads that you have been giving Admin powers over the entire internet! You can shut down whatever site you like, ban anybody from any website or forum, or even just prevent them from using the internet at all! You could also shut down servers for any game, and nobody on any site could ban you.

So, what would you do?

As for me, I would go to YouTube and do some deep cleaning of the putrefaction that has accumulated there. From there, I would move on to 4Chan. Then, I would take down Origin, so that EA could remove that site and I could play Battlefield 3 without having to sign up for that spyware site. And then, the internet would be that much nicer of a place.

What about YOU? ...

I'd actually leave 4chan alone, for the most part. The reason being? Most people on the site, are probably truly only there for the lulz, and are fairly normal otherwise. Also, it's useful as a way of trapping the actual freaks. Plus, if we kill it, they just find another place. Even if you have admin powers over the whole internet, you can' be watching everything at once. I'd rather know where a fair portion of the scum is and be able to control it then have to find them again. Also, the Wallpaper board is amazing and actually mostly safe for work. That's mostly what would stay my hand.

I would, however, clean house on a whole bunch of sites (4chan included). I'd probably also use my new admin powers to... force certain things to get done. Afterall, government sites are on the net, and if you can control those, but stay anonymous (easily done for the person who controls the whole damn thing), you can... force the governments of the world to work together, go into peace talks and not leave until they've actually reached a conclusion, etc. Peace at the edge of a digital sword isn't ideal, but it's better than nothing, plus, people's memories are short. They peace would be natural before you know it, and then the digitcal sword would vanish. Digital version of Code Geass, anyone?

Spoiler

Only, you know, without the masstermind being stabbed in the chest by a spear at the end of it. That would suck.

 

[mad_mick]

Sorry, double post (guess there is something I would fix after all)

Triple post

 

[German Borbon]

I would clean facebook of all the pictures, take a web cam image of every user (if not, just let them with no face, and put it in their profile picture just to show who really are

I would clean youtube of anything involving a cat

if I had control of xbox live as well i will make a "swear blocker" and a teabag detector to ban anyone who does that things

and finally I would make an anti-SOPA barrier and command an army of virus to destroy every site involving the SOPA supporters

and then the internet will be a better place

 

[Biodeamon]

You wake up, groggily get yourself out of bed, walk over to your computer and bring it up. As you load up your internet browser, you notice that it's different. There are all kinds of control panels on the screen, giving you IP addresses and a whole host of other things. You then go to a website and see that you basically have all kinds of control options for it. That one and many more ... in fact, ALL of them!

That's when you notice a small notification that reads that you have been giving Admin powers over the entire internet! You can shut down whatever site you like, ban anybody from any website or forum, or even just prevent them from using the internet at all! You could also shut down servers for any game, and nobody on any site could ban you.

So, what would you do?

As for me, I would go to YouTube and do some deep cleaning of the putrefaction that has accumulated there. From there, I would move on to 4Chan. Then, I would take down Origin, so that EA could remove that site and I could play Battlefield 3 without having to sign up for that spyware site. And then, the internet would be that much nicer of a place.

What about YOU? ...

you do realize that 4chan is where all memes were born? you can't say to me without a straight a face that the internet would be better without memes. As we hate 4chan we need that site for our mount doom for the ring of memes.

If i was in charge of the intenet i'd shut down all the loli, and do some deep-cleaning of youtube and hatena.

 

[xxcloud417xx]

Admin of all the internet? Wtf? Another SOPA thread?

 

[ImperialSunlight]

The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world!

 

[shadow741]

Give good internet to rural areas.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I would destroy internet porn. Porn addicts need to get outside and get girlfriends.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Admin of the entire net, eh?
Good thing I don't have that power, because I'd probably enforce digital faciscm.

If I did though...

My Cyber-Fascist To-do List:

-Anyone who posts the same meme more than three times in a week is banned.
-Anyone who posts child/torture/rape porn or even attempts to DEFEND it outside of a scientific/clinical/academic discussion, is banned.
-Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc are subject to cyber-stalking and cyber-bullying guidelines. Violators are not banned but rather, are redirected to a special online social site, where they can "play" with each other. Violators are put on an online "Sex Offenders List".
-Any Website that dedicates over 50% of its viewing space purely to advertisements is banned.

-Racial/Religious/Political Hate Sites are banned.

*Any video game that forces impractical/needless online connections (online-DRM) is banned until changed. (this includes Blizzard, Sony, EA, and Ubisoft)*
*Torrents/Websites for Software Piracy are banned. No excuses accepted.*

 

[Pegghead]

Have this song playing constantly in the background, over all other audio AND it starts again with every new web-page (but it's a constant loop no matter what):


Make all backgrounds and text fleuro green (all fonts will be Comic-Sans).

All brony websites, fanart, users will be forced to submit to a redesign wherein they become reshaped to be centred around Murder She Wrote.

There'll be a banner ad for every page that can't be blocked. In the same vein as the Wikipedia ones it'll just be a .gif of me dancing around with text stating that a monthly fee has to be given. This will be the only thing on the internet without the all green colour scheme.

All rules are replaced with one rule that I keep a secret (and on top of the web becoming a lawless wasteland, failure to comply with the secret rule results in instant banning).

There'll be a random chance that clicking on any link takes you to Lemon Party.

I'll bring back Geocities as head of design and distribution for all web-pages.

Reddit will be wiped from the internet (not for lulz, I just don't like it).

I can butt into any conversation at anytime.

ALL TEXT IS ALL CAPS.

 

[sharinganblossom25]

I would eliminate copyrights, ban all internet hate-- sexism, racism, etc--, keep roleplaying sites alive, and make downloading free music legal. BAM.

 

[Weentastic]

I'd make an age limit for the internet. You can't modify any of the content of the internet unless you are over 18. I can't think of a single good thing on the internet that has come from a teenager. There's lots of other stuff like getting rid of "lol" and "cats" and any combination of the two, but those things would probably get a lot less irritating with the aforementioned age limit. I suppose I would start hunting down adds that flash or slow computers, and probably start collecting information about malware creators for little "visits". I'd also use my admin powers to tell Notch to get back to work and hire some support staff. I'd also like a pony.


Edit: Good lord! I forgot about those anime freaks! No age limit for that, anything remotely Japanesy (or remotely Asian) would be completely destroyed.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

I'd put thousands of adventurers out of work by distributing arrows to the knees of billions. Then all the loot would be mine, all mine!

I don't know. Correct grammar? Play justice bringer, avenger of the downtrodden, and that malarky. Rick roll everyone?

 

[The Virgo]

I would destroy internet porn. Porn addicts need to get outside and get girlfriends.

Porn never argues with you.
Porn doesn't ***** at you for leaving the toilet seat up.
Porn doesn't take you shopping with them.
Porn doesn't ask you to accept its friends.
Porn doesn't care if you watch other porn videos.
Porn doesn't get pregnant.
Porn doesn't have periods.

Therefore:

Porn > Girlfriends. ;-)

Admin of all the internet? Wtf? Another SOPA thread?

Nope. Being the admin of the internet doesn't have anything to do with SOPA. SOPA is something that gives big ass corporations the ability to do a lot of shit that isn't right (like taking down sites that have nothing to do with piracy just because they say it does) and not have to get a court order, therefore vastly outweighing the good aspects of SOPA (decreased piracy).

Being admin of the internet could mean anything from shutting the internet down completely to banning all IPs from accessing it to taking down a website (as well as SOPA) to making a terrible song play on repeat every time your internet is connected. See the difference? One is politics as usual, the other is fate in the hands of a possibly mentally unstable psychotic with a chip on his shoulder. The second is more interesting. ;-)

you do realize that 4chan is where all memes were born? you can't say to me without a straight a face that the internet would be better without memes. As we hate 4chan we need that site for our mount doom for the ring of memes.

Well, all PICTURE memes anyway. Let's not forget the video memes that come from YouTube. Although 4Chan can play a part in those videos gaining popularity, it is not always necessary. "This is SPARTA!", "RickRoll", "Trololo (Soviet RickRoll) and "Leekspin" were all born on YouTube and didn't originate on 4Chan. But yes, we would lose the picture memes like "Okay Guy", "Forever Alone Guy" (my two favorite picture memes, because the characters are so tragic! XD ), "Son, I Am Disappoint!", "ME GUSTA" and possibly, if I'm not mistaken, "Gaben Trollface", the best piece of art ever made.

Spoiler: This is the second best piece of art, in my opinion ...

 

[oZode]

I would rampantly have tons of people who I deem 'wrong' banned.

This includes:
-weeaboos
-tropers
-furries
-creeps in general

Also, many lingo terms and internet jargons/memes would get purged.

This could make the internet a possibly tolerable place... could...