If your significant other cheated...

[LostTimeLady]

If they came clean about it? Hmmm...

Well after demanding to know WHY they'd done such a thing I'd go from there.
Yes, them coming to me and saying that they cheated probably would indicate that they've felt guilty enough to want to stop but on the other hand, obviously they were lacking something from the relationship I had with them so I'd want to know what I couldn't do that someone else could.

I'd have a hard time feeling betrayed. That's a hard thing to work through.

All things considered I don't know how I'd react in the moment.

Things that would make me stay probably would be if there were kids involved. I'd certainly thing twice before leaving and never looking back on the relationship. Also, if the reasons where problems on their part and not a problem with me. I'm not sure what personal problem would cause someone to run into the arms of another but it's possible. Knowing that you're not the reason why/excuse why someone cheated is probably a good stand point to want to work things through.

I'm female by the way.

Edit: The reason why I sound so reasonable with this is cos the thought of loosing my boyfriend is such a horrible one I'd do anything to keep him by my side.

 

[The_Yeti]

1. F*ck no, she'd be a slut, and worthless as such.
2. Same as one.
3. Male, I'd like to believe I'd have the same opinion if I were female as well.

 

[RJFTW]

1. No. No.
2. No. No.
3. Male

 

[The_Yeti]

drop em fast

men will cheat just because they are men, checking out a girl is reflexive, and from an evolutionary POV we can have multiple wives/girlfriends to have more kids.

women, alternatively, are hardwired to be monogamous, to a degree much larger than in men,
when a girl cheats it means the end. it means she would break up but the likes the lifestyle you give her

Yeah, no. Cheating doesn't have jack sh*t to do with how monogamous one is evolutionarily inclined, looking isn't cheating, acting is cheating, and acting is a choice. To cheat merely because of the excuse of being evolutionarily inclined would only further prove lack of intellect to a degree so serious, you really shouldn't endanger the world by spreading your seed, or ignorance.

 

[Amberella]

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
I'm sorry, but this is one case where telling the truth will not make what happened any better. I'll still be hurt, upset and untrusting.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
I could try and work on the relationship, but I don't know if I could ever trust them fully agains so i would likely fall apart. If we had kids I'm be more likely to try harder. But this would cut me pretty deep.

3. Are you male or female?
Male

I'd never cheat on you, my love. You're the only man for me. <3

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
- It wouldn't matter what way I found out by, it'd still cut straight through to my heart.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
- If I did decide to stay and work through it, I think it'd take a really long time for me to even remotely trust them again if at all. When it's something like this I don't think I'd ever feel secure in the relationship again. I'd no doubt feel paranoid they their going to do it again. :/

3. Are you male or female?
- Female.

 

[3AM]

1. He cheated on me which crushed me. Then told me he was in love with her which stomped on the one little piece of dignity/happiness/strength I had left. There's no going back from that.
2. If he was just "weak" and cheated but still loved me? Hmm, well I might forgive him but I'd never trust him again which would essentially end the relationship, just maybe not right away.
3. Female

 

[Queen Michael]

I would answer your poll, but we have an open relationship. Sex with other people is okay.
Still, I'll answer your poll with the assumption that "cheating" means having romanic times, and not just sexy times, with another person.

1. I wouldn't be; I'm insecure enough as it is.
2. I wouldn't mind keeping the sex.
3. Yes. Yes, I am male or female. (I'm a MAN!)

 

[w1ndscar]

This actually happened to me to a certain degree. There was no physical cheating, but there was emotional cheating. Which is still cheating none the less in my oppinion, anyways ANSWERS:

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
She did come clean about it, and we tried to. I basically told her it was either me or him. In the end she chose neither so we broke up. Although a month later she got rid of the bastard and I took her back.
3. Are you male or female?
Male

 

[Damien Granz]

3.) Not sure why that should matter, so I'm just going to give 'no response'.

Simply because studies show girls are more forgiving than guys, and a part of this is to see if that might be considered true. Opposite genders react differently to just about everything.

It's a complicated question for me, so just put 'other' if you got a box for it.

 

[Trivun]

I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!

Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?

Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.

Now, this is a very interesting topic for me, as I'm something of a film-maker, and the last idea I came up with (for a short film I have yet to write) involves the fallout on a camping trip between two couples (students who share a house) when two of them accidentally reveal they cheated on their partners together while drunk. The underlying theme is whether or not the wronged pair would forgive their partners if they'd been honest in the first place, instead of waiting a month and then revealing it all by mistake.

On topic, fortunately I've never been in this situation. However, if I was, it would depend on the circumstances. It would certainly depend entirely on how repentant my partner was, but if she was truly honest and everything in our relationship was fine to that point, then I would certainly give her a second chance. That being said, things would still take a while to calm down, and if it happened again then I wouldn't give her a third chance, I'd immediately end things then. After all, there's a difference between asking for forgiveness and taking someone for a mug...

Also, I'm a 20-year-old male, for the record.

 

[Smiles]

CUT OFF HIS BALLS!

but in all seriousness, once a cheater, always a cheater. I would never trust him again.

<--- female

 

[MikeOfThunder]

I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!

Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?

Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.

My first (and only atm) girlfriend cheated on me with some random person when she was drunk, someplace few hours away. She told one of my good friends and he told her not to say anything because he didnt know how I would react. Either way, I knew something was bothering her one day and she came clean (after a little persuading). I remember her putting sun glasses on to try and cover up her tears. I didn't know how to react, hell all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her everything was alright... so I did! Everyone makes mistakes and she felt terrible about it. Really hurt me, don't get me wrong but I really liked her. (Also we hadn't been going out long so that probably factors into it)

To answer your questions:

1. Yes, like I said 'everyone makes mistakes'. It wouldnt automatically be a deal breaker unless it was with my best friend or something. If they were genuinely upset about it.
2.I can imagine SEX being a big factor for many people ha! (perhaps I'm just shallow)
3.I am Male.

-The longer you've been in the relationship and the more you trust the person, the more it will affect you. My relationship was quite short and so wasn't as bad.

 

[Valknott]

1. No
2. They'd have to find another lady for us to have a threesome with to make up for it. If they refused that I'd settle for getting some retribution strange.
3.And I'm a dude.

 

[Ympulse]

1: Situation dictates. If it was a drunken mistake while I was away for a prolonged period, then I would be willing to work through it. Something less... extreme? No. there is no excuse for infidelity whatsoever, no matter the gender.

2: See 1.

3: Male.

 

[derdeutschmachine]

Note that this DID happen to me and I'll relay the details as asked. This relationship I'm referencing was three years in the making and I had recently bought and engagement ring that I was planning to give to her.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
It made no difference for me personally, I felt betrayed and pretty much thought she was a piece of shit for not having the stones to just break up with me first. So no to the second part of that question.


2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
I'll answer the second part first. The sex was great but not worth staying in a one sided relationship. and no to the first part.


3. Are you male or female?
I am male.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

I have previously tried to sort things like this out, and it's never worth the trouble. The trust and respect is gone at that point, and everything else dies soon after. So I save us both the trouble and end it.

Female.

 

[Skops]

1. have been through this situation, i did forgive and want to work things out. In hindsight, turned out to be the wrong decision cause she left me 3 weeks later for another dude (wasn't even the dude she cheated on me with). then out of weakness 2 months later i took her back only for her to dump me again 2 months later and go on a slut spree during the summer sleeping with a little over 12 dudes (that her friends know of). She wasn't a whore when i first met her, i took her v-card..

2. yeah no, also been through this (the relationship before that last one i told you about). I flat out dropped her ass the second i found out from her best friend (who is now one of my good friends)\

3. i'm a dude.

 

[DJDarque]

Disclaimer: I am not currently, nor ever have been with someone I would consider a significant other.

That being said,
1. If my significant other told me that they had cheated on me I might react a little better than if I found out myself, but the pain would be the same. The trust I have in them would be gone and the relationship would be over.

2. The only thing that might make me reconsider leaving the relationship would be if we had any children. I would try to work things out for them, but the relationship with my "significant other" would pretty much just be for show.

3. Male

 

[TheTim]

I'd be devestated if she did, we've been dating for 4 years so im hoping she doesn't do that.

1. Idk i would need time to think
2. No
3. Male

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

1) It kind of depends on the level of cheating. If she just kissed some dude, whatever, or even if it was a drunken one night stand, I'd probably be able to overlook it, but if she had another bf on the side...I don't think I could take her back.

2) I love my gf, and I'm pretty forgiving. I think that we'd be able to work through it as long as it didn't happen again.

3) Male.