If your significant other cheated...

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Sebenko

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Dec 23, 2008
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1. Yeah. I'd be most pissed off if they didn't invite me to join in though.
2.-
3. manly man!
 

Flare Phoenix

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Dec 18, 2009
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1. I would end the relationship right then and there. If they aren't satisfied with me enough to remain faithful, continuing the relationship is a useless endeavour.

2. Probably not... Again if they need someone else to satisfy them, it's better for both parties just to break it off.

3. I am male.
 

Simon Pettersson

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Apr 4, 2010
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1. Well that depends on how long our relationship has been. If it has been long and we trust each other I won´t let a little mishap ruin our relationship.
He/She did trust me enough to tell me so if she shows remorse I will forgive him/her.
It is a one time deal thou if he/she does it again it´s off.

2. As stated before if he/she has shown remorse we could work it out.

3. Male
 

Azure-Supernova

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Aug 5, 2009
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1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
I'm sorry, but this is one case where telling the truth will not make what happened any better. I'll still be hurt, upset and untrusting.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
I could try and work on the relatioship, but I don't know if I could ever trust them fully agains so i would likely fall apart. If we had kids I'm be more likely to try harder. But this would cut me pretty deep.

3. Are you male or female?
Male
 

Artina89

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Oct 27, 2008
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1)It takes me quite a while to trust people so if someone told me that they have cheated on me then I would listen to what they have to say, because at least he has come clean, but ultimately I would break it off. There is very little point in staying in a relationship if one of you is unhappy.

2) As I said in question 1, I would break off the relationship, as I would never trust them again and it is not fair to be constantly breathing down someone's neck. It makes you more stressed out, and if anything, it would probably make your significant other more secretive. Nobody wins in the long run.

3) I am a female.
 

Redford Blade

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Mar 5, 2011
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1. Would honesty make a difference? Would you be willing to work through it?

I am convinced that I've found my soulmate, and I've known her long enough to know her strengths and weaknesses. If she made a mistake in a moment of weakness, and honestly regrets it, then yes, I would work through it. But she would have to fight uphill for a long time in order to regain my previous level of trust. Worse, I am a particularly jealous person, so I would be likely to react poorly to the news regardless of how I found out.

If the roles were reversed, I would immediately go to her and confess, though I have the unfair benefit of knowing that she would almost certainly forgive me.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to continue the relationship? Might there be any aspects that would make you want to stay?

As stated above, I would be willing to work through it. There are many aspects of the relationship that would make me stay, from the feeling of peace when I am in her presence, to the way we laugh together at Yahtzee's reviews, to her luck when rolling dice in tabletop RPGs.

3. Are your Male or Female?
Male
 

Damien Granz

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Apr 8, 2011
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Chancie said:
I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!

Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?

Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.
1.) Yes, it would matter to me that they were honest enough to tell me. Cheating is dishonest by definition (because if it wasn't dishonest it wouldn't be cheating, it'd be polyamory or an open relationship or.. etc.), but asking forgiveness kinda shows that they want to make amends and be honest. Obviously it's different if they're just lying or there's some pattern, but people do make mistakes. It's better to let somebody be honest too late, than to punish them equally regardless and make it so they have no reason to ever amend a mistake.

2.) I think that, it wouldn't be unreasonable to be told the full extent of the infidelous relationship, so you can make a reasonable assessment. Did this person cheat because of an accident (such as being drunk), or was it a mistake done in passion, or do they love this other person (or even still love you)? Are you at risk for any diseases or pregnancies or the like. This sort of stuff would be needed to be known before you could really try to make plans for the future. Being patient really helps though. While they might have hurt you and done something terrible to you, it's better they be able to come clean than hide it forever or the situation become even worse.

3.) Not sure why that should matter, so I'm just going to give 'no response'.
 

eclipsed_chemistry

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Dec 9, 2009
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Having had a cheating partner AND having a mother who cheated on my father MULTIPLE times and seeing the terrible damage done in both cases, no, I absolutely would not forgive her under any circumstance. I don't care if she had to sleep with Guy X to save the world from World War 3, I'm way past the point of ever forgiving someone for cheating. As for the last part, I'm a male.
 

Astoria

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Oct 25, 2010
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I'd work it out with my boyfriend. He's not the cheating type so if he did cheat I must've done something pretty bad.
 

joshuaayt

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Nov 15, 2009
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1-2: My girlfriend DOES cheat on me, relentlessly- and you know what I do, when I inevitably find out a few days later? Ask her what *I* did wrong.
I think I have a problem... But I can quit her, whenever I want... Yeah.

I know that she's not respecting me, at all, here, but I'm not very good at confrontations.

3: Male.
 

Tipsy Giant

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May 10, 2010
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It's over, if she cheated of her own free will! my rule in relationships is simple, wanna fuck someone else? break up with me first, or I will break up with you when I find out!

EDIT: oh and

1.no
2.no
3.male
 

TonyVonTonyus

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Dec 4, 2010
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1: If someone tells me they stabbed me in the back it doesn't make the knife any less deep.
2: Probably not
3: Man
 

Kortney

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Nov 2, 2009
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Chancie said:
1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
It would make a difference, I'd respect them more for telling me. I'd still end it though.

Chancie said:
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
Maybe. I think it's one of those events where you only truly know how you'd act when you experience it. In this current mindset, I don't think there would be much that would convince me to work through it.

Chancie said:
3. Are you male or female?
Female.
 

Toaster Hunter

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Jun 10, 2009
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THough there may have been some circumstance involved and I hate to make blanket statements, if she cheated, its over. I would rather someone break up with me than cheat. if she doesn't want me any more, just say so and lets move on from there. I'm male.
 

2718

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Mar 16, 2011
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1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
This makes a lot of assumptions about my relationships. I have never understood romanitic jealousy, so any relationship I've been in have had no rules about sleeping/not sleeping with anyone else. Then again I've never "been in love" the way it's portrayed in various media. My relationships are either sexual or emotional, and I never mix the two. This is not out of choice, but simply how my psyche works. I have never felt an emotional attachment to a sexual partner, nor have I felt sexual attraction to a close friend. So wheter or not a partner has slept with someone else is really not a concern for me.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
For me it is a complete turn-off when someone is clingy and wants some kind of monogamous relationship. I love my freedom more than any given sexual partner.

3. Are you male or female?
Female.
 

Bernzz

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joshuaayt said:
1-2: My girlfriend DOES cheat on me, relentlessly- and you know what I do, when I inevitably find out a few days later? Ask her what *I* did wrong.
I think I have a problem... But I can quit her, whenever I want... Yeah.

I know that she's not respecting me, at all, here, but I'm not very good at confrontations.

3: Male.
You do have a problem. That's not healthy. For your own health, I'd advise you to just end it. Stick up for yourself. I was never good at confrontations either, but at the start of last year something changed. Part of what made me change, was simply confronting someone. Maybe properly confronting your girlfriend about this (and I mean confronting, not asking what you did wrong) would help you with confrontations.

My guess is she's picked you as the type to not do anything about it, which is why she's cheating with reckless abandon. If you show people that you won't confront them, they'll take advantage of it and walk all over you. I should know, I used to be unable to confront people either, as I mentioned.

Confront her, tell her what she's done is not okay. Ask for a reason why, but never blame yourself.

Also, if she's cheating on you relentlessly? The relationship isn't gonna work, mate. Sorry.

And just to make sure, if I've offended you at all in my post, I didn't mean to. I just don't think that that's the kind of situation you should stay in.
 

rockyoumonkeys

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Aug 31, 2010
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It'd certainly be preferable that they were honest about it, but I can't see that it would make a difference in the end. Cheating is cheating, and it would almost certainly mean the end of the relationship. It's not really something I could work through because I'd always have it in the back of my mind that I was with someone who'd already proven they were willing to cheat, and would probably do so again.
 

RobCoxxy

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Feb 22, 2009
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1. Yes. Same with breakups, I'd rather hear the reason outright than some bs excuse and then find the ***** with someone else. Not bitter or anything, noooooooooooooo.
2. If I loved them, I would try and keep the relationship going. If I didn't.... well, I'd be more inclined to end it.
3. The one with the dangly bits