In what situation is it socially acceptable for a 20 year old to date a teenager?

SonOfVoorhees

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Stay safe and go by your countries age of consent. But then if you are purposely trying to pick up teens then thats kinda creepy.
 

Kotaro

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2HF said:
Kotaro said:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.
Teenager ≠ Minor
Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.
 

MonsterCrit

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BloodStalk said:
I was wondering, in what case can a 20 year old do that and it's ok?
As long as the other person is of legal age, then it's fine. Though a general rule of thumb is, the age difference should be no more than 2 years.
 

LysanderNemoinis

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It depends. Are you female or are you male but planning on driving a truck of peace in the near future? If so, then by current year American standards, it's totally fine.
 

Vanilla ISIS

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Why does it have to be socially acceptable?
If it's legal and both people consent, what's the problem?
Worrying about whether other people are OK with how you live your life will only make you miserable.
 

Azure-Supernova

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A couple I used to work with started dating in college, when he was in his last year and she was just starting; putting him at 19 and her at 15. Move on a five years and they're still going strong. He even said the only awkward thing they had to deal with was picking places to go out, as she could drink for another three years when they started out.

Kotaro said:
2HF said:
Kotaro said:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.
Teenager ≠ Minor
Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.
The gap widens considerably in European nations. Italy has a six year gap, France a five year and the UK has a four year gap. Taking into account social norms and varying levels of emotional maturity, the question becomes far less cut any dried. The only reasons the average American may find it unacceptable is because the age of consent is higher.
 

Arnoxthe1

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Maybe the reason the age of consent is so high in the US is because our teenagers still have the maturity of an infant. Back around the 1940s and earlier, teenagers used to be a lot more mature than they are now.
 

Queen Michael

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Kotaro said:
2HF said:
Kotaro said:
The only situation where it's ever remotely okay for an adult to date a minor is if they were both minors when the relationship started and the age difference isn't too great (personally I would put the upper limit at a two-year-difference), like if two 17-year-olds dated and then one turned 18 a few months before the other.
Teenager ≠ Minor
Yes they are. Anyone under 18 is a minor.
So in other words, some teens are minors and some aren't, but like 2HF said, "teen" doesn't equal "minor," since not all teens are under 18.
 

Baffle

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Arnoxthe1 said:
Maybe the reason the age of consent is so high in the US is because our teenagers still have the maturity of an infant. Back around the 1940s and earlier, teenagers used to be a lot more mature than they are now.
Judging by American TV, you guys don't leave high school until you're in your mid-thirties anyway.
 

Ravenbom

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There's a formula for social acceptability.

Half your age plus 7.
Starting at 18 (when you can legally be tried as an adult), the lowest you should go is 16, and even then, you should at least both be in High School.

If you've been dating continuously, then it shouldn't be a problem if you just turned 20. But you shouldn't be creeping around High School and High School girls as a 20 year old, generally.
ONE - it turns off any girls your own age and is generally pussy kyptonite.
TWO - legally creepy and statutory.

TL;DR - formula says 1/2 of twenty is 10, then add 7 = 17
17 is your cut-off.


I should note that my first GF turned 19 when I was 17 and still in high school. I only met her as she started college and I started senior year of HS.
 
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Depends on the social group really. But I'd go with 17 not even raising an eyebrow round these parts. 16 might be a bit iffy socially, but still legal barring some very, very unlikely circumstances.
 

rosac

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urm, I just go with 18. Like seriously, loads of relationships at Uni are 21-19 etc.

How about me, a 25 year old with a 20 year old? People do find it... odd.
 

Erttheking

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Age of consent in MA is 16, but personally I'd be a bit more comfortable with the 20 year old in question waiting until 18. Just remember there's a difference between "legal" and "right."
 
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I met my girlfriend in high school when she just started, and I was about done. I was 19 going on 20 and she was 16 going on 17. (yes, I failed a year, almost two. I hated homework.)

She liked me, I liked her, and her mother was actually actively pushing to get us together. And that's important. Not only is the legal age of consent important, but so is parental consent, and I think I had the best endorsement possible.
 

BloodStalk

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Zykon TheLich said:
Depends on the social group really. But I'd go with 17 not even raising an eyebrow round these parts. 16 might be a bit iffy socially, but still legal barring some very, very unlikely circumstances.
Ravenbom said:
There's a formula for social acceptability.

Half your age plus 7.
Starting at 18 (when you can legally be tried as an adult), the lowest you should go is 16, and even then, you should at least both be in High School.

If you've been dating continuously, then it shouldn't be a problem if you just turned 20. But you shouldn't be creeping around High School and High School girls as a 20 year old, generally.
ONE - it turns off any girls your own age and is generally pussy kyptonite.
TWO - legally creepy and statutory.

TL;DR - formula says 1/2 of twenty is 10, then add 7 = 17
17 is your cut-off.


I should note that my first GF turned 19 when I was 17 and still in high school. I only met her as she started college and I started senior year of HS.
To elaborate, I'm talking about continuing a relationship from HS.
 

infohippie

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If they're both above the legal age of consent, and the relationship is working for them, then who gives a shit? Why do people insist on sticking their noses into other people's business all the time? I've known couples with a fifteen year age difference who were fantastic together, and the vast majority of couples I know generally have a two-to-five year age gap.
 

Jamcie Kerbizz

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First of all if by date you mean sex, look up your local law regulations on legal age and consent.

Second thing would be to - at that age - rather to aim higher than low. Relationship with an actual grown women (my experience, no idea how that translates to men) can teach you something. On the other hand dating a teen is an excercise in futility and frustration (She has absolutely no idea what is she doing and what she wants from life. Neither you really. Add to that possibility to end up with children you're not prepared for and you have calamity. Granted that also could be a catalyst to grow the f-k up but there are less rough ways to get there.).

Either way just get past 24-25 mark and then it doesn't really matter. 2 years or 40 years difference, nobody sane cares. No difference, as long as both parties are actual grown ups.