Insults without swears
- Thread starter The_Chief
- Start date
I like what Winston Churchill said before he became PM.
WC comes back to motel drunk after partying.
Maid: Mr Churchill, your drunk! (Im assuming this was said in disgust)
Winston Churchill: And you my dear, are ugly but i shall but sober in the morning.
Something along those lines.
WC comes back to motel drunk after partying.
Maid: Mr Churchill, your drunk! (Im assuming this was said in disgust)
Winston Churchill: And you my dear, are ugly but i shall but sober in the morning.
Something along those lines.
From the Arkham Asylum Pirating thread: "It's not a bug in the game's code, it's a bug in your moral code."
You're so stupid you couldn't follow the plot in The Da Vinci Code.
You're so young you still believe Twilight.
You thought you had a pubic hair until you urinated out of it.
Have you started shaving yet? (Double points if it's towards a girl)
When you were born you were so ugly the Doctor slapped your mum.
If your brains were made of chocolate and they doubled every second for a hundred years, you still wouldn't have enough to fill a Smartie.
I'm still fond of Pillock or Pilchard for really stupid things though.
You're so young you still believe Twilight.
You thought you had a pubic hair until you urinated out of it.
Have you started shaving yet? (Double points if it's towards a girl)
When you were born you were so ugly the Doctor slapped your mum.
If your brains were made of chocolate and they doubled every second for a hundred years, you still wouldn't have enough to fill a Smartie.
I'm still fond of Pillock or Pilchard for really stupid things though.
This guy wins the thread if for no other reason than for referencing brk breathed.McNinja said:
also, "a hat would fly in no wind for fear of contact with you"
Usually, my goal when insulting someone is to come up with something either so filthy or comically dated that the other person has a brain meltdown and can't think of a single thing to come back with.
If someone is being particularly rude or crass, the good old, "You Sir, are a scholar and a gentleman." works pretty well.
Philistine is also a pretty good all-purpose insult. Especially when you're insulting people's choice of alcohol.
When arguing with my sister, I'll sometimes call her a jive-turkey just to throw her off her game.
And there is one thing I use only for special occasions when arguing or trading insults. This is probably the filthiest thing I have in my arsenal that contains no actual curse words. I have NEVER had anyone actually be able to come up with a counter for this one. It stops EVERYONE in its tracks. Be warned though, the power of this insult comes in its shock value, if you use it on the same person multiple times, it will quickly lose its awesome effect, making it essentially a one-time use weapon. (delivery is important too, if you laugh during it, there's just no helping your sorry ass)
"If I wanted some sort of comeback from you... I'd scrape it from the roof of your mouth."
And for the people who think that using curse words as an insult is from lack of creativity, that's not always the case. Especially for people who go out of their way to make up and combine curses to make whole new and even more devastating words. I once heard a man string together, non-stop, right off the top of his head, every single iteration, combination, and bastardization of every curse word that I had ever heard, into a three minute long barrage of profanity. And it was beautiful.
And for all you colossal nerds who think that quoting Monty Python at someone is a massive blow to their ego, there's a special formula I want you to remember. For every time you quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail and someone else is around to hear it, your virginity is lengthened by another whole year.
If someone is being particularly rude or crass, the good old, "You Sir, are a scholar and a gentleman." works pretty well.
Philistine is also a pretty good all-purpose insult. Especially when you're insulting people's choice of alcohol.
When arguing with my sister, I'll sometimes call her a jive-turkey just to throw her off her game.
And there is one thing I use only for special occasions when arguing or trading insults. This is probably the filthiest thing I have in my arsenal that contains no actual curse words. I have NEVER had anyone actually be able to come up with a counter for this one. It stops EVERYONE in its tracks. Be warned though, the power of this insult comes in its shock value, if you use it on the same person multiple times, it will quickly lose its awesome effect, making it essentially a one-time use weapon. (delivery is important too, if you laugh during it, there's just no helping your sorry ass)
"If I wanted some sort of comeback from you... I'd scrape it from the roof of your mouth."
And for the people who think that using curse words as an insult is from lack of creativity, that's not always the case. Especially for people who go out of their way to make up and combine curses to make whole new and even more devastating words. I once heard a man string together, non-stop, right off the top of his head, every single iteration, combination, and bastardization of every curse word that I had ever heard, into a three minute long barrage of profanity. And it was beautiful.
And for all you colossal nerds who think that quoting Monty Python at someone is a massive blow to their ego, there's a special formula I want you to remember. For every time you quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail and someone else is around to hear it, your virginity is lengthened by another whole year.
Orbit Commercials
Lady bursts in: You son of a biscuit eating bulldog
Guy: What the french, toast?
Lady: You didn't think I'd find out about your doodoo head cooty queen?
Other Lady: Who are you calling a cooty queen you LINT LICKER?!
lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJJUGJZxpU
Lady bursts in: You son of a biscuit eating bulldog
Guy: What the french, toast?
Lady: You didn't think I'd find out about your doodoo head cooty queen?
Other Lady: Who are you calling a cooty queen you LINT LICKER?!
lol.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEJJUGJZxpU
