Intelligent Metal Gear Solid Review.

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Ursus Astrorum

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Mar 20, 2008
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Aye, I'm agreeing with everyone here, the review is entirely too far from intelligent.

For one, you never stop to explain exactly why it is you dislike the things you do. Furthermore, your critique seems rather arbitrary and tacked on, which is something that should never occur in a review. In fact, it really is less of a review than a rant, and a very unfair rant at that.

You complain that it plays like a stealth game, a completely logical move for it seeing as it is one. You complain that the bosses are fought in the manner of a trial-and-error, develop a plan and execute it manner. Considering that most bosses, especially ones in games released around the time of MGS, were like this, this also makes no sense. You're pretty much complaining that the PS2 Stealth Game is a PS2 Stealth game; it just doesn't make any sense.

I'd keep typing, but in all honesty my point is the same as everyone else's: Grow a pair, look at the game from the proper perspective, and back up your points.

Oh, and pitching a fit because no one liked your review doesn't help your standing, either. People will disagree with you. Sometimes you'll suck at what you do. I believe us internet types have a word for that: Life.
 

bue519

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Oct 3, 2007
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steamednotfried said:
Maet said:
I haven't read the review yet, but can I request that you stop stapling the word "Intelligent" to the beginning of your review titles? It creates expectations that are all but certain to be destroyed, and doesn't really do your review any benefit. I know I'm being presumptuous this time around (having not read it yet), but I think you would do yourself a lot of good to remove that one word.
What makes you think it isn't?
Because this is a rant not a review
 

Eggplant

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Nov 11, 2008
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bue519 said:
steamednotfried said:
Maet said:
I haven't read the review yet, but can I request that you stop stapling the word "Intelligent" to the beginning of your review titles? It creates expectations that are all but certain to be destroyed, and doesn't really do your review any benefit. I know I'm being presumptuous this time around (having not read it yet), but I think you would do yourself a lot of good to remove that one word.
What makes you think it isn't?
Because this is a rant not a review
because there is 2 pages saying its time to give up reviewing (not in so many words)
 

PedroSteckecilo

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Feb 7, 2008
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If you can't find anything at all to like about a massively popular game... maybe it's you? If you know more than five assholes and all... Hell you don't even make a "mileage may vary" comment. No thoughts on who (other than "idiots") might enjoy this game, and no reference to any other opinion. You just want to piss people off by telling them their favorite game/series sucks...

That makes you a troll.
 

mjhhiv

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Jun 22, 2008
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steamednotfried said:
snipped by moderator

"If you simplify your English, when you make a stupid remark its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself."

-- George Orwell
 

Sackwak

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Dec 20, 2007
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Far too long. I had to force myself to finish it.

It's more of a rant about every flaw the games can offer
 

Handofpwn

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Sorry, but i cant be bothered to read your review after you wrote:
steamednotfried said:
Metal Gear Solid is a terrible, terrible game, so undeserving of its praise it's unreal. I'm not even going to go into the argument on the balance between movie and gameplay, because that gameplay is so bad that it provides way more then enough material to criticize this game beyond redundancy.
No good reviewer starts off by insulting a game. That comes later. First you start off with a generalized statement to introduce the game. Give an overview of the story and then review the gameplay, level design, ridicule the problems and then give your opinion.
 

Novajam

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Apr 26, 2008
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RAKtheUndead said:
harhol said:
No, but it was far worse than that.

The intent was clearly to humiliate the OP.
I can attest to the fact that this was not meant as an attempt at trolling or humiliation. NewClassic's done it to one of my reviews which desperately needed the attention, and even to himself - to a review which had already been published by The Escapist.
Agreed. I'd be glad to have NewClassic annotate one of my pieces. It'd give me a good outsiders view of how my writing sounds. It's a sort of "being cruel to be kind" thing.

Your review reads a lot more like rant on your disappointment with the game. Also, to me, it is obscenely long and mostly of it is waffle.

My advice would be cut it down, back up your points, check again for unnecessary parts and cut them out, check that it reads out well, check your spelling, grammar and punctuation and then think about posting it, as it's in a rather raw state at the moment.

Take a step back, and try again.
 

steamednotfried

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Oct 27, 2008
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I have never before received such unanimously negative feedback for any of my writing, so I had another look through my review just to check. While the delivery is slightly awkward at times, it is a good analysis of the gameplay and if you guys can?t see that then god help you.
 

Jack and Calumon

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Dec 29, 2008
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dalek sec said:
steamednotfried said:
You guys are all idiots, you just don't understand. This is why a peice of crap like the MGS series can be so popular.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v160/merc501/B5NTHEKC4IOTTZ4EVZ3J4CEFO2PM3374.jpg

That's all I have to say.
Best joke I've seen on here yet.
 

Monty9

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Dec 16, 2008
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You just cant blatantly attack a game just because it isn't to your liking. Many people throughly enjoyed the metal gear series due to the story and movie like cut scenes building up to a new level of gaming story telling. That is where the games strength lies.
 

Danny Ocean

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Jun 28, 2008
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Catkid906 said:
Best joke I've seen on here yet.
You should've been around for taxi driver. He was hysterical (to me, at least.).

As for the review, I read the first two paragraphs then decided it was too long and boring. Long words do not equal intelligence. Good reviews need to be entertaining as well as informative.
 

Colonel Joson

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Apr 20, 2008
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um...This dosent really seem like a review. It is more like a one sided bashing of the series and like all these other people said, long words do not equal intelligence. Also you claim controls were clunky? Well, when I played I had no problems at all.
 

Azulito

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Jan 1, 2009
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steamednotfried said:
Metal Gear Solid is a terrible, terrible game, so undeserving of its praise it?s unreal.
Since this is a review for a game, I'm pretty sure to label it as a game review. For a game review to be sucessful you should keep an open mind and focus on both positive and negative aspects of the game rather than dubbing it as all bad, which it can't be due to 'professional' review scores and feedback to your 'review'.

Also, its
'Metal Gear solid Rant'
Not
'Intelligent Metal Gear Solid Review'

Rant suits alot better since there is too much mention of negative aspects and you seem to be writing in the 'heat of the moment' instead of actually concidering what to write. If you want to be a respected game reviewer you should focus on who the audience is and you should also focus on valid points rather than finding things YOU dislike. Take for example the extract below:

?In MGS 2, the camera is a particularly bad problem, since, in a lot of areas, the player will never have a radar until they find the area's control point (or whatever they call it), where they can turn on the radar.?

Some people may like earning their ?information? rather than everything being supplied, its a part of the game being a challenge. This idea is common in alot of games such as Assassins Creed and Command and Conquer, there are many games what incorporate the idea; you have to explore the area before its visible on map. Just because you find something you dislike doesnt mean everyone else thinks its horrible.

Another thing to do would be to actually concentrate on the game. I, again will refer to the example below, which I assume is either Metal Gear Solid 1 or Metal Gear solid 2.

?Why in god's name would there happen to be a sniper rifle lurking in some corner or locker which you could easily miss if you weren't obsessively collecting each and every bloody ration. Who put it there??

In Metal Gear Solid 1, the room that weapon is in has many other weapons in too so its safe to assume that its a weapons storage facility. I think it even says ?Weapon Storage? when you enter the rooms. Its also similar with Metal Gear Solid 2. The room the weapon is in is a storage facility.

And pretty much ALL combat games have weapons lying around. If the enemies have weapons, there are going to be weapons in one place or another.

I?m not writing this to ?attack? your review but give suggestions to improve upon this or future reviews.

EDIT: Due to him writing a positive review about Halo, I'm figuring he's just an Xbox360 fanboy who's bitchy that Metal Gear Solid 4 is a PS3 Exclusive. If anyone has another reason then be my guest.
 

Splitter

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Jul 10, 2008
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Despite the fact you claim to be intelligent, your main complaint about the game seems to be that it doesn't take your hand and guide you through everything.
Its like you want it to give you a perfect map of every room, plan out a route for you, and tell you exactly what you should use to immobilise the guards in every imaginable situation.
So you didn't like this game because it was a challenge?
As I've seen it, the great thing about the MGS series is the freedom it allows you in the way you play it. You can choose to sneak throughout the game without harming a single guard, but it will take a lot of patience. You can sneakily kill every single guard you come across and hide the bodies successfully but again that will take time. You can use the optional stealth items such as magazines, cardboard boxes, etc to distract your enemy. Or if you're feeling mental you can just run through killing everything, but don't expect to survive unless you've got sick gunplay and agility skills.
The even better thing is because you're not restricted by classes as you are in RPGs you can switch from playstyle to playstyle whenever you wish. I often found myself purposefully getting caught just so I could enjoy the thrill of a gunfight and chase sequence, sure it decreased from my end game score but who cares, it was fun.

Back to your problems with the game, you claim that not enough information is given but that you also can't stand waiting around. If you'd had a little patience you'd discover you have more than enough information. Guards routes are easily figured out by watching them for a short period of time and you can use the codec at any time to get more than enough information on your situation.

Your problem with fatman shows the intelligence you claimed to have is clearly absent.
Firstly its very very easy to figure out how to beat him, and not that hard to either.
Not only that but if I remember correctly, if you use the codec to contact the colonel during the fight you pretty much get a step by step guide on how to beat him.
 

Meado

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Apr 27, 2008
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I've never really liked the MGS series. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, I just would have been perfectly happy to never play it, or maybe pick it up in a bargin bin in a few years time. That said, I disagree with pretty much all your points. I'm not going to go into detail as I can't be bothered right now. Maybe once I've slept...
steamednotfried said:
You guys are all idiots, you just don't understand. This is why a peice of crap like the MGS series can be so popular.
steamednotfried said:
I have never before received such unanimously negative feedback for any of my writing, so I had another look through my review just to check. While the delivery is slightly awkward at times, it is a good analysis of the gameplay and if you guys can?t see that then god help you.
Your reactions to these comments aren't helping your case. Simply saying "you just don't understand" or "if you guys can?t see that then god help you" just makes you sound egotistical, as if you rate your opinion higher than ours. It is an extremely snobbish move, and one that isn't going to make you any friends.
Also, as a general rule, never tell people what you think of your own work. EVER. If you say you think it's good it appears self-centered, and if you say it's bad/ok people will think you're faking modesty. That's not you specifically, it goes for everyone.
 

steamednotfried

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Oct 27, 2008
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Meado said:
I've never really liked the MGS series. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, I just would have been perfectly happy to never play it, or maybe pick it up in a bargin bin in a few years time. That said, I disagree with pretty much all your points. I'm not going to go into detail as I can't be bothered right now. Maybe once I've slept...
steamednotfried said:
You guys are all idiots, you just don't understand. This is why a peice of crap like the MGS series can be so popular.
steamednotfried said:
I have never before received such unanimously negative feedback for any of my writing, so I had another look through my review just to check. While the delivery is slightly awkward at times, it is a good analysis of the gameplay and if you guys can?t see that then god help you.
Your reactions to these comments aren't helping your case. Simply saying "you just don't understand" or "if you guys can?t see that then god help you" just makes you sound egotistical, as if you rate your opinion higher than ours. It is an extremely snobbish move, and one that isn't going to make you any friends.
Also, as a general rule, never tell people what you think of your own work. EVER. If you say you think it's good it appears self-centered, and if you say it's bad/ok people will think you're faking modesty. That's not you specifically, it goes for everyone.
I don't care how immodest I seem. I call the review intelligent because it needs to be distinguished from the rest of the shit on the net. My review isn't very good, but as far as I know it's the best that's been written so far on MGS, and one of the best game reviews written so far. The only reason my review isn?t very good is because I?ve pretty much had to do all of the thinking about how videogames work myself because almost no one else writing in this area has any brains, so I have nothing to build on. I guess the reason none of you like my review is the same reason that writing on the field is in the state it?s in. Still though, I usually get a couple of appreciators when I post, maybe it?s the time of year.