Iranian Scientist Claims Mastery of Time Travel - UPDATED

Anchupom

In it for the Pub Club cookies
Apr 15, 2009
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It's not even a time machine... It's a limited range crystal ball.
That won't work, and doesn't exist.
 

Xanex

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Jun 18, 2012
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Iran science yeah....... Anyone remember the unveiling of Iran's stealth boat/plane things? They are state(Iran)-of-the-art. Because nobody else has even thought of planes that can land on water amirite?

http://www.popsci.com/technology/article/2010-09/irans-boat-plane-thing-would-strike-fear-other-flying-military-boats-if-they-existed
 

UltraXan

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Mar 1, 2011
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I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone reading this article when I say "BUUUUUUUUUUUUULL SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

The problem with this is that it's pretty much impossible to bring information into the past. He says that you don't go to the future, it brings the future to you. That's pretty much saying the future goes into its past. Now it's been a while since I researched time distortion, but if I remember correctly, this could only theoretically happen by going faster than the speed of light. I shouldn't have to remind anyone that such a thing just *doesn't work*. It can't happen. Need I say more?
 

Smooth Operator

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Oct 5, 2010
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Oh the levels of patriot bullshit you people are capable of...
Call your local patent office and ask how many time machine submissions they got in the last year, the number will most likely be in the thousands.
 

OldNewNewOld

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Mar 2, 2011
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That update is worrying... If I had a timemachien and someone said I have it, I sure as hell would deny it the same way the Iranian government does now.
Suspicious.
*puts tinfoil hat on*
 

WanderingFool

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Apr 9, 2009
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Andy Chalk said:
Out of curiosity of seeing the update, I check this article. So I missed it the first time around. Now that I did se it, any specific reason you chose that particular image?
 

tangoprime

Renegade Interrupt
May 5, 2011
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-Ezio- said:
so. he's created that machine from the movie paycheck? I'm sure that'll end well.
Lol, that's the first thing I thought of- Basically, to summarize this news story, Iranian "scientist" smokes metric shitton of weapons grade hashish then watches pirated copy of Paycheck. Nothing to see here.
 

tangoprime

Renegade Interrupt
May 5, 2011
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BlackStar42 said:
So what? I can travel into the future too, at a rate of one second per second.
Lmao, along with thinking of that movie Paycheck, this idea came up also, although I think there's a deathmetal band that already came up with this invention.
Skip to 0:35
Nothing like traveling through time at the speed of regular time, but, y'know, with plastic bags.
 

AlexWinter

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Jun 24, 2009
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Unsurprisingly this has turned out to be bullshit. However, what's interesting is the question;

What would happen if a dictatorship like north Korea or Iran did create a working time-predicting machine.

Or regular time travel whatever.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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LordLundar said:
I do think it's entirely possible. Just like in this comic:

Praise be to Howard Tayler and his illustrated work of awesome.

That said...


They're probably denying it now because an old man in a Delorean, a young man in a blue box, and H.G. Wells stole it off of them for the sake of our sanity. World's crazy enough as is without peoplle claiming time travel.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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WanderingFool said:
Out of curiosity of seeing the update, I check this article. So I missed it the first time around. Now that I did se it, any specific reason you chose that particular image?
Seriously?



;)
 

SmugFrog

Ribbit
Sep 4, 2008
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Andy Chalk said:
"The Americans are trying to make this invention by spending millions of dollars on it where I have already achieved it by a fraction of the cost."
This line alone sounds like a late-night infomercial. "How much would you expect to pay for this device? $500? $400? I'm practically giving it away for 3 easy payments of $19.99!" - cue mandatory Iranian audience applause.

Andy Chalk said:
Seriously?
Wow, I didn't catch that either. I had forgotten about that scene in Timecop. My first look at the image I thought that was Christian Bale and didn't even wonder why you had used that picture - but lol yeah, I think you're showing our your age... :p
 

WanderingFool

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Apr 9, 2009
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Andy Chalk said:
WanderingFool said:
Out of curiosity of seeing the update, I check this article. So I missed it the first time around. Now that I did se it, any specific reason you chose that particular image?
Seriously?



;)
I know the movie, I was asking why you chose a picture that was showing off Van Damme's ass.
 

Lovely Mixture

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Jul 12, 2011
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The Telegraph caused a stir Wednesday with a story about a young Tehran-based scientist, Ali Razeghi, and an invention he calls "The Aryayek Time Traveling Machine." Reportedly something of a mad scientist, Razeghi claimed the device, which "easily fits into the size of a personal computer case," can predict with 98-percent accuracy the future five to eight years of an individual's life.
So.....Did he test it? Did it predict that no one would believe him?
When asked whether he was worried the machine might cause problems, he said he envisions it used selectively, to tell a couple the future sex of their child, for example.
Gee, what a noble cause. It's not like we have ultrasound.
 

Xarathox

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Feb 12, 2013
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canadamus_prime said:
I could use one of those. Let me know when they start selling them at Wal-Mart.
They do. They're called Magic 8-Balls. Give it a shake, and ask it a question and it'll give you a simple Yes/No/Maybe.
 

Iron Lightning

Lightweight Extreme
Oct 19, 2009
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He didn't even get the name right. It should be "The Aryayek Time Scrying Machine."

I hope for his sake that this is some translation error or he's even more hopelessly lost.

I love this guy though. He's a man after my own heart. I too have crazy maybe impossible ideas that would revolutionize the world if they ever came to fruition.

We need more mad bastards like him in the scientific community. People like him are like the lottery. It's a one-in-a-million shot but when it works the world is improved.
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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Iron Lightning said:
He didn't even get the name right. It should be "The Aryayek Time Scrying Machine."
And...now I'm thinking of Beast Wars.


Shakespeare and temporal mechanics in one well-worded speech.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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WanderingFool said:
I know the movie, I was asking why you chose a picture that was showing off Van Damme's ass.
You can actually thank Grey for that. I was going to use the Timecop cover but he suggested I use a shot of the classic Van Damme splits maneuver - and once that came up, it was obvious that nothing else would do.