Is 18 too young to be bitter?

[xmbts]

18-20 Is actually considered to be the most stressful period of most peoples lives. I think you're fully entitled to be bitter.

Where in the bloody hell did you hear that load of bull?

Psyche class, from my professor, it makes sense to me since you're making most of your important life decisions, what you want to do for a career, picking a school, succeeding in school, moving out.

I'm not saying you have to be bitter forever but if you're all joy and smiles throughout it then you're a stronger person then I.

But that's just me you have every right to disagree.

 

[Danoloto]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

To answer your question, 18 is a fine age to be bitter. Just try to get over it before you decide to grow up, or your bitterness will stain the world.
Being young usually involves not being content with something or other, but it's much more enjoyable to like everything that is going your way, instead of hating the things that go wrong.

 

[ZeroMachine]

18-20 Is actually considered to be the most stressful period of most peoples lives. I think you're fully entitled to be bitter.

Where in the bloody hell did you hear that load of bull?

Psyche class, from my professor, it makes sense to me since you're making most of your important life decisions, what you want to do for a career, picking a school, succeeding in school, moving out.

I'm not saying you have to be bitter forever but if you're all joy and smiles throughout it then you're a stronger person then I.

But that's just me you have every right to disagree.

No, I know you aren't saying "start being bitter then, it's the best time!"

What I'm saying is that psych teacher of yours must have had a pretty shitty first experience at college. Potentially, yes, it can be the most stressful time in life. Technically anytime could be for any person, it's all about the individual. But if we're talking about an "on average" thing, from what I can tell, later on in life where intense debt can potentially set in is much more stressful. Or a midlife crisis. Or the deaths of friends and loved ones around your own age by natural causes.

Maybe it's just because I didn't have an incredibly stressful time myself up until the past couple of months (I just turned 22 today for a point of reference) but from what I can tell issues later on in life are much more stressful with the exceptions of outstanding circumstances.

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

 

[Riff Moonraker]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

Yes.... and no. Most likely, anyone older will think that you havent gotten enough experience in life under your belt yet to truly be bitter. Then again, that same group has been eighteen, and should also understand where you are coming from.

You are at an age where (at least, when I was eighteen) you are still trying to figure out you. You know, your place in the world, what relationships with others make you happy, what you want to do with your life, etc. etc. and some bitterness is to be expected.

But being older, I know that in most cases, you have much larger rewards and disappointments ahead of you. Hopefully, many more rewards than disappointments. You will work through it, one way or another, and hopefully come out a fuller and happier person.

Good luck to you.

 

[xmbts]

snip

Yeah, it was a generalization, I didn't have a particularly harsh time of it, but a friend of mine lost his home, got his first real exposure to weed and alcohol, and swapped his major about 3 times all in one year. So I can see where my professor is coming from.

But you're right that it is all individual, what one person finds debilitating another may have no trouble with. I'm just hitting the 'Is this what I really want to do?' issue and I'm not nearly as concerned as I probably should be.

 

[[.redacted]]

It's not too young, but I think you're handling it in the wrong way.

Put simply, life is a depressing thing: you live and die in a heartbeat, achieve some success if you're lucky, and are forgotten soon after your death.

And even if you're not, odds are you never fulfilled your dreams, and if you did they weren't your real dreams, and even if you did - you're only human, you're just a sack of meat with some electrical impulses and chemical systems masquerading as a 'soul'.

Life is shit.

But.

Deal with it, try not to let this knowledge infect your everyday life - realise it, understand it, and file it away. However old you are, if you do eventually comprehend human life in its entirety, you will become depressed.

The real challenge is to accept that and move on. Bitterness is a phase, not a trait, it just takes some people longer than others.

[sub]Must say, your spelling could use an edit, you're likely to put a lot of people off if you post such a firebomb question without long words, so to speak =D[/sub]

 

[Ordinaryundone]

My parents always told me, life is what you make it. When I was a kid, I thought this was crap. "So many things happen TO me, where is the logic in saying that I have control over my own life?" I remember a specific example, when I was kicked out of college for bad grades. Up until then, it had been my entire life; all my friends were there, everyone and everything I knew. I basically got into this mindset that my life was over, that without a college education and that life I had built for myself I had nothing.

But as I've grown older, I realize that I misunderstood what they were saying. You ALWAYS have control. If bad things happen, you always have the choice to take another path, to find a solution and make things better. You don't have to just sit and take it. A big part of it is just learning to "roll with the punches". If you let every little thing get to you (and trust me, there are a LOT of "little things"), then life is just going to be miserable. Go looking for the good stuff, whatever makes you happy, and life will be ok.

The most important thing is, don't wear bitterness and cynicism as a shield. Its a really crappy one. The more you condition yourself to never get excited or get your hopes up, the more you start to realize that you can't get excited about ANYTHING. And a life without any passion is a life not worth living.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Nah, 14-18 is the prime bitterness period.

Enjoy it while it lasts because soon you might start appreciating what you actually have and that some people might just understand you and where's the fun in that?

 

[Triple G]

Jesus motherhumping christ you're all incredibly depressing.

This guy put it best:

Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?

I think if you're bitter at age 18, or younger, you probably have very very little reason to be.
Unless you were molested, abused, or have some type of clinically diagnosed (Not self diagnosed) psychosis or something, you have no reason to be bitter. Most 'bitter' kids I see have had very very little real life experience, and are basing all of their angst and mopey attitude on what happens in school. Which is, for lack of a better term, utterly moronic.

I'm 26, have so much left to experience that you can only experience though age, and am absolutely loving life. I was bitter when I was a teen, but that's because I was a dumb-ass teen who thought he knew everything (Like most teens). You grow up, though, and realize that life is pretty kick-ass.

I've also found that when you're just generally happy, the bad things aren't so bad.
But when you're a bitter pessimist, the good things don't seem so good.

I, for one, choose happiness.

And to give a more personal example of why you shouldn't be bitter... my girlfriend, a girl that I truly thought I would spend my life with (and who also thought we were going to spend our lives together) recently broke up with me due to a bunch of reasons, some legit, some bullshit. She said she still loves me, and we will try again someday, and she truly hopes that we work out, but I was so crushed that I couldn't learn the patience until I heard this quote:

‎"A great love is a lot like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. And.. you can focus on it, and try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient, and you hold still, well maybe... just maybe... it'll come to you."

Some people on here may know what it's from... which makes the quote not only meaningful, but surprising.

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

EDIT:

18-20 Is actually considered to be the most stressful period of most peoples lives. I think you're fully entitled to be bitter.

Where in the bloody hell did you hear that load of bull?

Dude, I'm 20. And btw not stupid. Most people I know would say I'm very smart. I don't wanna be arrogant, but wait I do want to arrogant if I say, I know about stuff. I've done some things, people won't ever do in their lives and blablabla. But you know, if you're a realist, you must have come to the realization that life is shit. It may be a big and proud shit, with diamonds sprinkled all over it, but it's still shit. I'm doing my A-levels now, then I'll do my military service and after that I'll study computer science, but I still know that I will have to work till I'm old and ugly, that chicks won't ever find you sexually attractive as long as you are a nice guy(yes, all of you are going to argue over that point and tell me some bullshit about how that's not true and how I'm generalizing and blablabla, but trust me: I've seen it gazillions of times; If you're nice, they think you're weak, and if you're weak, then it's no pussy for you, mister.), that you can not trust anyone except yourself and that friends will never last forever. Also, your youth is kinda limited and by 30 you're an old man in todays world. Ah yes and on top of that everything that could like the stress is banned in most countries. And most people are stupid pricks who deserve to die a painful death. And everything is becoming more and more shitty: movies, books, games, television, education, healthcare, the list goes on. So my point is: You do have every reason to be bitter, if you're not bitter, you're either rich, stupid or just too easily satisfied.

 

[WanderingFool]

World sucks, get used to it early...

 

[mindlesspuppet]

All teenagers are bitter, it's that whole teenage angst thing.

I've been bitter ever since I was 9.

Just because I knew who Geoffry Chaucer was then made everyone hate on me.

He was the butler from Fresh Prince right? xD

 

[Wadders]

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

I dont think its that bitter or resentful really. I thought being bitter is something you feel as a result of a wrong thats been done to you, or an injustice or humiliation, none of which has really happened to me on a noticable scale. I jsut think that something rings true about that statement to an extent. Its just saying that being patient is sitting there waiting for things to happen to you instead of making them happen.

Sure its not the most cheerful turn of phrase, but I've gotta say that the whole attitude of "oh well I deserve something good, so if I'm patient and sit it out something will come along one day" is pretty desperate.

That's just my interpretation of it, you're more then welcome to your own of course

 

[Flishiz]

Well if Aristotle is to be believed, happiness is a goal that is achieved with time and age, so 18 is a perfectly valid time to be bitter. Not for long, relatively, though.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Perhaps bitterness is not the correct term. I'm quite despondant, misanthropic and generally pessimistic in terms of personality but doesn't necessarily instill me with anger or depression. I think it just makes me more grounded and realistic, ultimately I can't dwell to much on my own personal qualms when some 10 year old kid in Sierra Leone has just gotten his legs blown off by the local militia. I've gone off on a bit of a tangent, but my point being that as an 18 year old I can be be prone to a negative disposition but I generally remain reticent about it so as not to pester or project my problems on to the few people I actually do care about. Life really isn't that bad, but as long as your behaviour doesn't negatiely affect others around you, you're entitled to feel however you please.

 

[ZeroMachine]

snip

Yeah, it was a generalization, I didn't have a particularly harsh time of it, but a friend of mine lost his home, got his first real exposure to weed and alcohol, and swapped his major about 3 times all in one year. So I can see where my professor is coming from.

But you're right that it is all individual, what one person finds debilitating another may have no trouble with. I'm just hitting the 'Is this what I really want to do?' issue and I'm not nearly as concerned as I probably should be.

S'all true. My situation with the girl I mentioned in my original post is a bit similar to what your friend went through at that age... didn't lose a home, and (crossing my fingers) isn't getting into drugs, but trust me, I wasn't trying to lessen anything going on.

And hell, don't worry, you'll figure out what you want to do eventually.

Dude, I'm 20. And btw not stupid. Most people I know would say I'm very smart. I don't wanna be arrogant, but wait I do want to arrogant if I say, I know about stuff. I've done some things, people won't ever do in their lives and blablabla. But you know, if you're a realist, you must have come to the realization that life is shit. It may be a big and proud shit, with diamonds sprinkled all over it, but it's still shit. I'm doing my A-levels now, then I'll do my military service and after that I'll study computer science, but I still know that I will have to work till I'm old and ugly, that chicks won't ever find you sexually attractive as long as you are a nice guy(yes, all of you are going to argue over that point and tell me some bullshit about how that's not true and how I'm generalizing and blablabla, but trust me: I've seen it gazillions of times; If you're nice, they think you're weak, and if you're weak, then it's no pussy for you, mister.), that you can not trust anyone except yourself and that friends will never last forever. Also, your youth is kinda limited and by 30 you're an old man in todays world. Ah yes and on top of that everything that could like the stress is banned in most countries. And most people are stupid pricks who deserve to die a painful death. And everything is becoming more and more shitty: movies, books, games, television, education, healthcare, the list goes on. So my point is: You do have every reason to be bitter, if you're not bitter, you're either rich, stupid or just too easily satisfied.

I have no respect for people like you. Your pathetic view on life is your own fault.

I don't care about what you've experienced. If you really think that the only reason people can be happy with their lives are those three reasons, you need help.

EDIT: And if you're that smart, explain your atrocious grammar. I'm no grammar nazi, but if I see someone claiming to be smart that types like that, I have to point it out.

 

[ActionDan]

I was bitter at 15. I blame Secondary School.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

I dont think its that bitter or resentful really. I thought being bitter is something you feel as a result of a wrong thats been done to you, or an injustice or humiliation, none of which has really happened to me on a noticable scale. I jsut think that something rings true about that statement to an extent. Its just saying that being patient is sitting there waiting for things to happen to you instead of making them happen.

Sure its not the most cheerful turn of phrase, but I've gotta say that the whole attitude of "oh well I deserve something good, so if I'm patient and sit it out something will come along one day" is pretty desperate.

That's just my interpretation of it, you're more then welcome to your own of course

Ok, I guess I misread what you were talking about, my apologies. I wasn't saying that you don't work towards happiness. What I meant was that sometimes you just need to wait for it to come to you while working to improve other facets of your life.

With my situation right now, trying to force things to happen faster will only push the person I care most about in this world further away. She said she needs time, and she's doing things DRASTICALLY out of character, and I'm worried sick about her, so I was trying up until a couple days ago to get her to talk to me and explain what's happening. But that quote I put in there made me realize: sometimes all you can do is give it time.

Patience is a virtue, and I will defend that to the end now. But to sit there and do absolutely nothing is stupid. Be patient while waiting for that right moment to come along, and just prepare yourself for it in the mean time. See what I was getting at now?

 

[Wadders]

Also:

I don't know if it's a relationship thing that's made you that bitter, but even if it isn't, take this to heart. Learn patience. If you keep trying to force whatever little bit of happiness you can, you could damn well push it away, and turn bitter. If you just get on with life and learn to wait, it could come to you.

Reading that brought this quote to mind:

"Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue."

From my glass-half-empty point of view, it's so true haha

For someone who claims not to be bitter, that is one of the most bitter and pessimistic things I've ever heard.

I dont think its that bitter or resentful really. I thought being bitter is something you feel as a result of a wrong thats been done to you, or an injustice or humiliation, none of which has really happened to me on a noticable scale. I jsut think that something rings true about that statement to an extent. Its just saying that being patient is sitting there waiting for things to happen to you instead of making them happen.

Sure its not the most cheerful turn of phrase, but I've gotta say that the whole attitude of "oh well I deserve something good, so if I'm patient and sit it out something will come along one day" is pretty desperate.

That's just my interpretation of it, you're more then welcome to your own of course

Ok, I guess I misread what you were talking about, my apologies. I wasn't saying that you don't work towards happiness. What I meant was that sometimes you just need to wait for it to come to you while working to improve other facets of your life.

With my situation right now, trying to force things to happen faster will only push the person I care most about in this world further away. She said she needs time, and she's doing things DRASTICALLY out of character, and I'm worried sick about her, so I was trying up until a couple days ago to get her to talk to me and explain what's happening. But that quote I put in there made me realize: sometimes all you can do is give it time.

Patience is a virtue, and I will defend that to the end now. But to sit there and do absolutely nothing is stupid. Be patient while waiting for that right moment to come along, and just prepare yourself for it in the mean time. See what I was getting at now?

Yes, I now see what you're getting at, my bad, I interpreted what you were saying before incorrectly. I most certainly agree that pushing things rarely helps, but one should not be inactive with regards to what one wants in life, waiting for it isnt enough, one must work towards it. But yeah, if working towards sorting your current situation out means that you have to give it time and be patient, then so be it, if it helps you get what you want in the end

I hope that made sense

 

[Jaythulhu]

When I was 20, I considered myself bitter, jaded and fully versed in what to expect from the world. Soon enough I turned 30 and realised that when I was 20, I was completely full of shit and had no fucking idea what I was talking about. At this point in my life I'm comfortable with saying that everything I thought and believed when I was in my teens and early to late 20s was a load of crap, and I actually knew jack shit.

Sounds trite now, but it will happen to all of you. Seriously, the only people who are truly bitter are those over 70. What you think is bad now, what you believe makes you bitter and cynical now, you'll laugh at soon enough, and laugh at those younger than you when they spout the same things.

Really, people under 30 exist for one reason: To look better than people over 30. So strike a pose and shush, you'll find out what life is truly like soon enough, and then what you think is bitter now will seem like sunshine and roses.

 

[Dastardly]

I just realised after 18 straight hours of doing little more than read and generally be broody, i am a very bitter person deep down. The phrase "Why bother you'll just get fucked over again" has sprung to mind many a time.
Anywho my question still stands. Is their an age limit to absoloute bitterness, and if you are udner it is their something severly wrong with you?
Thoughts, Comments, Criticism's and STFU you mopey shit's are all welcome

It's just reality shock.

You start out as a child with very few worries or cares in the world... you become an adolescent that worries about all sorts of trivial things (that don't feel trivial at the time)... but you keep working because all of your learning has built a belief system into you that tells you:

1. Try hard enough, and you'll succeed.
2. Good things happen to good people.
3. "Fairness" is a real thing, and someone out there is keeping tabs on it.

We're taught this by our parents and teachers, by the stories we read, and just by the nature of our simple and uninformed existence as children. Then we become "adults," in the technical sense.

And we quickly realize that those rules? They're highly suspect. Sometimes trying hard doesn't guarantee success. Sometimes good things don't happen at all, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. And fairness? Yeah. It only exists if it's enforced, and it's only selectively enforced--usually by those people in power whom fairness most benefits at that particular moment.

It's not that the world is all bad. It's that when we first discover the world really isn't all good, there's a bit of shock and disappointment. Now, we all know, academically, that the world isn't all good... but it's another thing to experience it. Shifting your image of the world from "perfect" to "imperfect" is a much bigger leap than it sounds. There's a big difference between 99% and 100%. That 1% is a sudden, stark realization that there could even be other things that don't line up with what we believed (or want to believe) about life, and we're suddenly facing the unknown and feeling ill-equipped to handle it.

You've been staring your whole life at this magical gate leading to Adulthood, which we equate to the power of self-determination. When we're grown-ups, it'll mean we've arrived. You'll call the shots, do what you like, follow your dreams, all of that. Then you finally get to the gate and realize there's an admission fee... and normal business hours... and the rides you want to ride are really, really crowded, and sometimes they're broken... and just getting a goddamned drink is like, what, eight bucks?

Point is, if you give that shock a chance to wear off, it gets better.